Read and enjoy! (I'll blab later) :)
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is not mine! The rest may or may not be mine too.
Chapter 1: Of Pains and Surprises
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Bang. Bang. Bang-Bing-Bang. came the irritating sound of a spoon clacking on the sides of a cauldron.
"Wake up, freak!" came the voice of an evil being, a cruel witch intent on making my life miserable. I struggled to awaken myself from my deep slumber, determined to protect myself from the devastating monster that's probably planning to drown me in the hot, boiling potion in the cauldron, just because I refuse to wake up...
Okay, so I'm exaggerating. I'm really not this close to being tortured by an evil witch. I'm just being awoken by my meanie-of-a-sister Petunia. And the bang-bang I heard? That's dear old Petty's noisy way to wake me up without touching me. In fact, she tries to minimize the time both of us being in the same room.
Honestly. It's not as if I have tuberculosis or anything.
Either way, it must have taken her a lot of courage to come wake me up. You would have done great in Gryffindor, I reckon, darling sister-of-mine.
...NAH!!
Petunia's only fit to be an old hag-like witch who takes pleasure in luring little kids into her trap and then eating them alive.
As you can see, my sister and I don't exactly get along. Wait, let me rephrase that so that it represents the truth better: my sister and I basically hate each other. I'm not going to bore you with details of our hatred, but the reason is important: it is because I'm a witch.
Oops, all this talk about witches must be confusing you. My sister's a witch in the figurative sense - she's a little mean (which is the understatement of the century!). And me? I'm a witch in the literal sense - no, I don't have an ugly wart on my nose, but I do have a wand, and a cauldron to brew potions.
...hm, now that I think about it, that's pretty much all I own. I don't even have an owl, and I'm about to enter my seventh year and last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I always have to borrow Julie (my friend)'s owl to send mail to Mum and Dad. And GOD! this owl has the longest - LONGEST - name: Prince Henry Jeffries Ulyavitch Stoppard Wilmingtondelleson Brattel. We affectionately call him Brat for short.
I don't own a broom, because I'd rather kiss a dragon than ride a broom. It's not that I'm afraid of heights. But the prospect of FLYING on a piece of wood at altitudes so great sort of ... scares me.
Anyway, Petunia showed almost-Gryffindor-like courage and woke me up today because I have morning-itis ... I cannot, for the love of Merlin, wake up in the morning by myself. I don't even sleep that late ... I usually hit the sack around midnight. But no matter how late (or early) I sleep, I cannot wake up before 10 am. This could be a problem, say, when I have to go to CLASSES everyday at Hogwarts! at 8:30 am!!
So my other friend, Alice, is responsible for waking me up at school. God, that's the second bad thing about myself that I discussed in the past five minutes...I feel very inferior right now. God, who would have ever thought that I, Lily Evans, model student, new Head Girl of Hogwarts, has an INFERIORITY COMPLEX?!?
Oh bugger.
Anyhow, my morning-itis could also cause an issue on an important day like today, when -- OH SHOOT! The Hogwarts Express leaves in an hour!
With this thought, I sat up suddenly and cracked my neck. I reached my hand and put it over the searing pain and rubbed it. Cursing softly, I got up.
I hope this is not how my entire day is going to be.
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I reached King's Cross with five minutes remaining. As soon as Mother stopped the car, I jumped out and ran. Duh, idiot, you forgot the trunk. Obviously I couldn't just Accio my trunk over. So I wasted more time, ran back to my car, pulled the STUPID trunk behind me.
I think that took about three minutes.
Oh hell, I'm going to be late, I'm going to miss the train, I'm going to miss the effing train ... and there aren't even the Marauders this year to do some pranking and hold up the train.
The Marauders, led by Sirius Black and James Potter, were a group of rule-breaking, trouble-making, good-looking, girl-dating group of four boys in the year ahead of me. So obviously they graduated from Hogwarts last year. Sure, they taunted the helpless, pranked everyone in the damn school (including teachers, of course - they had turned Dumbledore's hair sparkling purple to match his robes). But I don't think they ever meant any harm - their tricks were always benign.
Moreover, my circle of friends (back in the day, that is, in our first year at Hogwarts, we called ourselves the Three Amigos) and the Marauders are quite close. Remus Lupin, the only intelligent one in that troublesome group, went out with dear Julie ever since the middle of fifth year. In fact, they are still going quite strong (I do admire their ability to maintain a long-distance relationship). I don't want to go on a tangent or anything (haha, that is quite ironic; this whole thing is a tangent, so one more won't hurt), last year, we actually made up names for Julie and Remus's babies...Julie has an obsession of colors, so we think their first daughter will be called Mauve or Scarlet, whereas their first son will be called Cyan (pronounced like Ryan but with a C!)
So no, even though I was a prefect and the Marauders are a prefect's worst nightmare come true, I had no problems with them. No. But the one marauder I had a problem with, is James Potter. (A/N: you guessed it :D)
Well, I guess it shouldn't be called a problem. No, I'd call it ... an outright nuisance. He's like one of those little kids who feel the need to wonder about everything, from why the sky is blue to why moaning sounds come from their neighbor's house at night cough.
James Potter used to ask me out at least three times a day. I know it was at least three times a day because he used to see me during all three meals, when he used to feel the need to sit next to me every single time. Okay, you might think he did this because he had feelings for me...nope. The only reason, THE ONLY REASON, why James Potter persistently asked me out was because this was his idea of a prank. Or maybe because I'm one of the few girls in the school who could resist James Potter's charms. Well, okay, I can't lie: I thought he was good-looking. Actually, I thought he was completely smokin'. But the boy's personality...not so much!
Pardon me as I take a break from my rambling; I need to get my arse onto that train right now. WAIT UP!!
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As I was running behind the train trying to catch up to the last bogey (I magicked my trunk into fitting in my pocket so I didn't have to lug it around), I was yelling very many obscenities at it. All of a sudden, the train lurked to a stop. At first thought, it seemed as if it stopped for me! Yeah, that's right; they must have realized that the Head Girl hadn't boarded the train, so they stopped to wait for me.
Yeah, no.
I ran up to the last bogey, madly smiling at my apparent victory, when this massive grayish-green thing flew at my face. That ugly mass, which is more commonly referred to as a toad, was the reason the train stopped. Apparently, this stupid first year lost control of his pathetic pet toad, which madly jumped around the compartment, and finally almost out the door. But as I was standing at the freaking door, I had the charming opportunity to catch the frog! I mean toad. Sheesh, what's the difference.
What can I say, I'm a natural hero. All the underclassmen in the vicinity were staring at me with such reverence and admiration at my heroic abilities. So, I resisted the temptation to immediately chuck the frog out the train (I considered squeezing it to its death for a teeny moment, but I shuddered at the green-brown-gray oozy-ness that I might get covered in). Instead, I pretended to be a damn hero and returned the poor toad to its owner. It gave me a look of disgust. Yeah, well, I don't think so great of you either, toady.
Aw, and guess what, everyone applauded for me! What a great way to start of the new year, Lily!
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After years of endless searching (note: few years may have gone by in a span of two minutes), I found my loving friends. I was so happy upon seeing them, I gave out a scream of delight.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!! FINALLY, GODDAMMIT!" Alice jumped two feet into the air at my outburst, whereas Julie just gave me an exasperated look.
"Hi Lily!" They responded dully. Huffpuffhuff, fine, is that how they're going to treat me after two whole months of not seeing each other!
I gave them a pout. "You guys suck. Great friends you are."
"Well, we knew you were going to be late. I mean, Alice isn't there to wake you up as - oopf!" Julie was cut short by my chucking a pillow at her that I randomly found in the compartment. Hey, where'd that pillow come from?
Alice rolled her eyes at us. "I must congratulate Dumbledore on his choice of the new Head Girl. Very mature she is."
I blew a raspberry at her. No, I'm not usually this sophomoric. I'm just very elated at seeing my unfriendly mates. "Who's the Head Boy, by the way?" I asked her.
Julie answered first. "Not Elias Ganter, if that's who you're hoping for." Elias is a fit Ravenclaw who I might have the slightest crush on. Hehehe.
But he's not the Head Boy. Darn. "Who then?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. "Not stupid Avery, is it?"
By the dark looks on my friends' faces, I could tell I hit jackpot. Avery, who was a Slytherin prefect last year, was rumored to be one of Dumbledore's nominees. Oh yeesss, he's very smart and all...if only he didn't use his talent to do bad things. And by bad things, I mean the Dark Arts.
What was Dumbledore thinking?!? How are we, as in Avery and me, supposed to work together?! AUGGGGHHHH!
Alice tried to cheer me up. "Well, look at the bright side of this year..." her face lit up. "No more Marauders!"
My face lit up a little. But Julie, on the other hand..."Yeah, no more Remus," she said in a gloomy voice.
"Shut up, retard," I told her oh-so-lovingly. "No more midnight awakenings!"
"No more trying to put up with Sirius's bad jokes!" Alice said, laughing with me.
"No more wondering why the hell Peter is there at all!"
"No more having to make sure our pumpkin juice isn't spiked at breakfast!"
"And best of all...no more James Potter!" At this, the three of us high-fived each other. I mean, come on, when a bloke asks you out three times a day for a year straight, there comes a point when even your friends get annoyed. Although, Julie insists that James actually likes me. What bullshit. I mean, come on, James Potter goes out with so many girls...! He has a new girlfriend almost every other week. And no, his tradition of asking me out does not pause while he is in a relationship. That's why all his girlfriends break up with him that soon. And if this isn't proof of how moronic this kid is, then what is?
Seriously. James Potter having feelings for me? What nonsense!
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We reached the Hogsmeade station right at dusk. As I was getting off, some kid ran up to me and told me that I had to sit in the carriage with the other Head. Now, if I was really, really responsible, so much that my sense of responsibility overshadows my fright of working with Avery, I would listen to this kid and go find my stupid fellow Head.
No. I'm not that responsible.
I know, you wouldn't have guessed it!
So I ignored the message, and got into a carriage with Julie and Alice. Unfortunately, Alice's latest beau, Frank, sat in our carriage too. Okay wait, I make Alice sound like a whore. In reality, Alice couldn't be more unlike a whore. She went out with one boy, who broke her heart by cheating on her. After that, Frank was her one and only boyfriend. They're pretty darn close now. Julie and I predicted that Frank will propose to her on her 18th birthday (in March).
Some wise advice: never be in a closed space with a couple. Yuck, yuck, yuck, double yuck. Julie and I had a very pointed conversation full of VERY BLATANT hints to the snogging Alice and Frank ("Yeah, my summer- THIS IS NOT A BROOM CLOSET- was great!").
As soon as we got to Hogwarts, Julie and I jumped off and ran through the double doors. Thankfully, Alice and Frank had split up, and Frank retreated to his own Ravenclaw table. My friends and I took a seat at the Gryffindor table, once again thanking God that the Marauders graduated last year. As I turned to greet my other Gryffindor mates, I heard Alice scream, "LILYYYY!!! TOAD!" just as I felt something slippery plop! on my back.
I let a shriek and fell to the ground. Gasp! It's the same toad I had "rescued" back on the train! It seems this stupid amphibian has taken a liking to me.
Still on the floor, I turned around to see everyone staring at me with wide eyes. On one side, I saw the same first year and his little friends who had originally lost that darn toad. The kid was wide-eyed, and all sad-looking, complete with tears in his eyes. On the other side, I saw Professor McGonagall glaring at me for ruining her perfect First-year order. Hey, it's not my fault the toad is attracted to me. (then again, can't blame him not can I? hahaha)
I sighed. I guess I'm going to have to save the toad again. I crawled under the table looking for the toad. At this, I heard Professor McGonagall clear her throat and shoo the first years, yelling commands at them to form a line leading to the front of the room. I was still in the process of looking for the ugly warthead. I could hear the Sorting Ceremony taking place, but I still could not find the darn toad. You know, this would be a lot easier if people weren't kicking me from the sides. Hello! Head Girl crawling under your table here, pay attention!
And I continued crawling through the rest of the Gryffindor table. I don't even know if the toad is under this table. But I was too embarrased to crawl out now. That would be a verey bad entrance, methinks. I'll go out after everyone finishes dinner.
Grawwwl.
Heh. Listen to that. My stomach is grumbling at the mere throught of the word "dinner". I must be hungrier than I thought.
Suddenly, I heard a laugh that made my stop in my tracks. Or path, I guess, would be the correct word. You can't make tracks while crawling. It's more of a path. But back to the point. The laugh was so sinister-sounding, that goosebumps erected all over my arms, and I subconciously sat up straight. And banged my head on the table. Oof. Stupid Lily. I brought my hand up to my head and rubbed at the spot I hit my head, but all the same, I tried to concentrate upon the source of the laugh, which was now talking. I tried in vain; the voice disappeared.
I don't know if it was stress or overexcitement at being at Hogwarts without the Marauders, but I thought the laugh sounded like James Potter. But what the heck...James Potter, back at Hogwarts?!? He's probably doing full-time what he does best ... picking up girls and getting drunk.
Must be the negative side of my brain trying to bring me back to reality from the euphoria I was feeling about the lack of Marauders. That was a confusing sentence, I apologize. Or it must be lack of FOOD. They must be into desserts now; I can smell treacle tarts, Chocolate cheescake, oh yummmmm.
Back to work, Lily. Look for the toad. Where is it, where is it, where- AH HA! FOUND YOU, YOU LITTLE RASCAL.
I crawled very slowly towards the toad, extended my arm, and ... GOTCHA!!!
Ooh, Dumbledore is making his welcome-back-feast-speech. Must listen.
"To the students who have stepped into this magnificent school for the first time: Welcome! To those who have been here before: Welcome back! I hope you excuse my repeating these rules year in, year out, but they are worth following, for various reasons. Firstly, I must remind you all that there is a reason the woods behind the school are called The Forbidden Forest." I could imagine Dumbledore peering through his half-moon glasses at all the students, pausing for a short period at the Marauders. OH WAIT! There are no Maraders!!! HAHAH.
"Secondly, the tree called the Whomping Willow still likes to damage anything within its reach. So beware. Thirdly, our beloved caretaker, Mr. Filch, has kindly asked that I remind you that Dungbombs and any other such materials are forbidden on the school property. I suggest you take his wish to heart, students! Lastly, I would like to apologize to any that might be disheartened by these news," ... dramatic pause ... "Our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor Fingley, has left us for unknown reasons." Pssh, who would be disappointed to see Fingley go? He was so old and wrinkly, just sitting in front of him felt disgusting. "Our new Defense professor will be," ... another pause ... "James Potter."
WHAT!!!!!!!
Oh dear lord.
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A/N: Please forgive me for starting another story and not updating "Pour your Heart out"...I'll do it! Eventually :)
Today's my birthday. And I had to get a shot (vaccine). Review and make it better for me?
Haha, okay seriously, I want to see what your reactions are. I might not continue the story if I don't get much response.
So...REVIEW. Ta.