Disclaimer: The characters of glee do not belong to me. OMG I've had Blaine angsting out in my head for a couple of weeks, and this is going to be sad so you've been forewarned. Blaine gets sick, and it tears Kurt's world upside down. :( Read on! David Cook's song Permanent is not mine, either.
I Won't Go Away Today
By Julia
Is this the moment
Where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise
that you'll never see me cry
And everything it will surely change
even if I tell you I won't go away today
The cup of coffee Kurt was holding fell to the floor. Blaine had been standing right in front of him, and then he wasn't anymore. He was lying on the ground, and his eyes were closed. Kurt was frozen. Finn and Rachel were busy trying to call an ambulance, and Kurt was trying to keep his throat from closing up in fear. Finally, he dropped to Blaine's side, and stroked Blaine's cheek. "Blaine, baby, you have to come back to me, please." His voice was shaking, and he was trying to breathe. Blaine needed him to breathe and be strong if he was going to make it through whatever was going wrong. Blaine hadn't been hurt like this since the rock salt slushie, and Kurt was very scared. Blaine was Kurt's whole world, and he could not do this whole being in the world thing without him. Kurt had never been so nervous before in his life. Except when his mom had died. Blaine had been there for him through so much. Kurt would never be able to repay him for all he'd done.
The paramedics made him back up. Kurt insisted on riding with him in the ambulance. He was trying to get Blaine's parents on the phone, so they could meet them there. It took four calls, but he finally got Blaine's mom Laura on the phone.
Laura Anderson looked at her phone in surprise. It was her son's boyfriend. She didn't approve of Blaine being gay, but she had to admit that Blaine was happy with Kurt. "What's up, Kurt? I thought Blaine was with you?"
Sniffling, Kurt held on tightly to Blaine's hand on the way to the hospital. They were going to St. Rita's Medical Center. He said, "Hello, Mrs. Anderson. Blaine... he's... something's happened. We're on the way to the hospital right now. I wanted to let you know so you could come. Plus, I don't know enough about his health history to fill any forms out."
Laura mumbled something back to him about getting there as soon as possible, and then hung up the phone.
When he got to the hospital, Kurt stayed with Blaine until they rushed him back to the emergency room. Kurt sat by himself in the waiting room, until Finn and Rachel got there. Kurt also finally decided he would call his dad and Carole. They loved Blaine. He was probably closer to them than he was his own parents.
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary rest your head
I'm permanent
When Burt Hummel heard the phone ring, he knew it was Kurt. He picked up his cell phone, glad he had some time. "Kurt, kiddo, what's wrong?" He just knew that something was. It was just a feeling he had. He didn't know why.
Kurt felt the tears pouring down his cheeks as soon as he heard his father's voice. "Dad... I... something's..." He was working on not having a panic attack. Kurt loved his dad, and his dad had helped him through so much. Kurt didn't know how he could ever manage without his dad.
When Kurt started to cry, Burt instantly started to try and talk him down. "Kurt, kiddo, it's okay. Slow down, breathe. You can do this. Is someone hurt?" Burt was starting to worry now about what might have happened.
Breathing slower, Kurt finally got calm enough to tell his dad what had happened. "Dad, Blaine, Rachel, Finn and I were leaving school, and Blaine... he just passed out." Kurt's voice was still very shaky and tears were pouring down his cheeks. He was ignoring Finn and Rachel, who were trying to get him to calm down. Kurt only wanted to talk to his dad. "I... I love him so much, Dad. I'm so worried about him." Kurt didn't know how he was going to make it if something happened to Blaine. "I don't... I really can't go on if something happens to him."
If Burt thought that Kurt was a little too hung up on Blaine, he didn't say so. He looked at Carole, who had just gotten home. Burt thought it was lucky he was home for the weekend. Or else he would not have known about this or had been able to get home in enough time. Burt would have killed himself if he hadn't been able to get home for Blaine. "Is he going to be okay, kiddo?" He asked.
"I don't know, Dad, can you just come? We're at St. Rita's. I just, I need you, Dad." Blaine could be dying, and Kurt could not do this without his dad. "And if Carole can come, her too."
They talked a couple more minutes, and then they hung up so Burt and Carole could get to the hospital. Kurt let Finn comfort him. Laura and Daniel Anderson showed up, and Kurt felt really uncomfortable while they were there. It had been at least an hour and a half since they'd been there. When Burt and Carole showed up, Kurt left Finn and ran to Burt. He hugged his father, burying his head in Burt's neck. He was so glad Burt was here. "Dad, I'm so glad you're here." He said. "No one has come to tell us anything about how he is." Kurt sobbed.
That's when Daniel Anderson spoke up. "And no one should tell you anything." Daniel was a very brave and bold man, he was not afraid of Burt Hummel, but he should have been.
Burt pulled back from Kurt to look at Daniel. "Excuse me?" He asked, his tone anything but polite. "You did not just say that to my son. Blaine is his boyfriend, they love each other." He said, as he stepped a little closer. Kurt was trying to get him to calm down. He didn't want Burt to stress his heart too much. "You will not speak to my son that way again. I will not let you."
Before anything else could be said, a doctor headed up to them. "Are you the party that belongs to Blaine Anderson?" He asked. When they all confirmed that they were, he began to talk. "Well, we worked on Blaine, did some tests. He had an allergic reaction to something. We aren't sure what. His body is covered in a rash, and his skin is swelled up. It almost killed him. There was swelling in his brain, and he's in a coma right now." He then asked, "Do any of you know what might have done this to Blaine?"
Kurt was crying so hard he could barely breathe. He had no idea what could have hurt Blaine like this. That's when Blaine's mother spoke up. She looked completely terrified. "Blaine... he almost died when he was three because he's allergic to bees... he's supposed to carry around an epi pen."
This almost stopped Kurt's heart. How had Blaine never told him this? "Why didn't he ever tell me? That's something that I should know." He said, almost absentmindedly.
Laura shook her head. "We never talk about it. He's never told any of his friends... I'm sorry, Kurt."
They were given permission to see Blaine, but only in twos. He was in the ICU wing. He did have a room to himself. Kurt let Blaine's parents go first, and then they came out so Kurt could go in. Kurt wiped his eyes, sniffling. "Blaine, baby, you've got to wake up. Please." Kurt said, as he took Blaine's hand. It did not feel warm. That scared him. Kurt had hated to lose his mother, he didn't want to lose Blaine. "I love you, Blaine." He sobbed, and then pressed his lips to Blaine's. He wished Blaine would kiss back.
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask oh God is there some way for me
to take his place?
And when they say it's so touch and go
I wish I could make it go away
but still you say
The next few days were hard on everyone, but especially Kurt. He went through the motions, and was barely sleeping or eating. Blaine still lay in a coma in the hospital room. Kurt went to see him every day. He brought the quilt Blaine's grandmother had made for him, and the old teddy bear that he still slept with sometimes. Kurt read him fashion magazines, and read to him sometimes. He was starting to get worried that Blaine wasn't going to wake up. There was fear in his heart that was there all the time. It wasn't going to go away until Blaine woke up. Kurt felt so empty without him.
Blaine's parents came and went, Kurt was just glad they they remembered they had a son. Kurt even took his homework to do sometimes. He didn't want to fall behind on his schoolwork. Kurt was sitting in Blaine's room, reading the new issue of Instyle, when he heard some doctors talking outside Blaine's room. The door was slightly open so he could hear them pretty well. They were talking about Blaine. Kurt listened carefully. "He's not looking good. He's been in that coma for a few days now."
The other doctor replied, "Yes. I think that if he doesn't wake up then maybe we should talk to his parents about ending life support."
Kurt's eyes filled with tears. He could not believe this. He was torn about whether he should speak up or not. He wanted to, he just wasn't sure he should. He took Blaine's fingers in his, they still felt cold. Wiping tears off his face with his free hand, he whispered, "I will never give up on you, Blaine. I love you so much." Kurt just knew that Blaine was going to wake up. The swelling his body had done had even gone away. He was looking much better. Kurt stopped reading Instyle, he cried and held Blaine's hand. He was about to go and get something to eat, when there was a knock on the door. It was Puck. "Hi, Noah." Kurt said, surprised.
Puck said, "How is he?" His voice was quiet and he looked very bummed out.
Kurt sighed and wiped his eyes. "There's been no change. I'm sure he would be glad that you're here." He said. Puck sat down on one of the other chairs, and looked at Blaine. Kurt wanted to talk about what he had heard about Blaine by the doctors, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to bother the other boy with it. But he was going to explode eventually. "I have been coming every day."
Nodding, Puck watched Blaine slowly breathe by the machines. He was quiet. He wasn't sure what to say. Puck then looked up at Kurt. "I know that he'd be glad to know you were here. I bet he knows, even." Puck was very upset that this had happened. He loved Blaine, he loved Kurt. He didn't think this was fair in the slightest.
Taking a deep breath, and his eyes filling with tears, he blurted, "Puck, the doctors want to talk to Blaine's mom and dad about... about... cutting off life support." He said the last bits of this quickly and breathlessly.
This made Puck's eyes widen. "Did they tell you that?" He asked. He didn't know if the doctors were allowed to even tell Kurt something like that because he wasn't family and Blaine was a minor. He was glad that Kurt was there for Blaine, he was wondering where Blaine's parents were. He'd be there if it was Beth. Every day all day. Puck just didn't know how you could ignore the fact that your child was in the hospital.
Kurt shook his head. He was so glad that he had someone to talk to about this. Even if it was Puck. Especially that it was Puck. He knew that the other boy had changed a lot and Kurt knew that he could talk to him about things. If you'd asked him three years ago if he would ever be friends with Noah Puckerman, Kurt would have told you you were a liar. "No, they were talking outside Blaine's room." Kurt wiped at his cheeks. He was tired of crying and he didn't want to do it anymore. But until Blaine woke up, he knew he would be. "Puck, I'm afraid that he's not going to wake up, and then his mom and dad are going to go for this." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again, still getting no response. It was very disheartening. He was doing the best he could to have hope. It was just hard.
"Wow. I mean, you just have to have faith. I'm sure he's going to wake up. Finn says that his swelling has gone down a lot." Puck said, trying to cheer him up. He had to be scared. Puck also didn't understand how Blaine could have been allergic to bees and not saying anything. Especially since he was clearly deathly allergic. "You're not... mad that he never said anything about being allergic?"
Kurt's head snapped up as he looked at Puck. "I... I didn't even consider it. Blaine... he almost died. There's no point in being angry when I could lose him." Kurt said, grabbing a tissue. "He needs to know I'm here for him so he can wake up." Kurt could see the validity in Blaine's side, the whole thing when he was three must have been very traumatic. Kurt didn't blame him for not speaking up about it, even if it was important. He was sure that Blaine would have mentioned it eventually.
His friend was quiet, he was mulling this over in his head. Not sure what he should say to Kurt. He didn't want it to be judgemental. "I guess that makes sense." Puck finally said, nodding. Then Puck softly began singing Permanent, by David Cook. He thought it seemed fitting, especially since Blaine was his bro.
Will you think that you're all alone
when no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and
everything is temporary rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent
When Puck was finished, he said bye. He couldn't handle seeing Blaine anymore. But he told Kurt he could lean on him if he needed.
The next couple of days were rough. By this point, the doctors had talked to Blaine's parents about terminating his life support. Kurt almost didn't mind because they didn't protest about him sitting with Blaine while they discussed the options in the hall. Kurt had of course made sure to tell them he was against the plan, and then he'd been trying to come up with a way to talk them out of it. He was very nervously reading Blaine the new book of gay erotica he'd gotten at the bookstore. Kurt was going slowly, he knew they were talking outside. He wanted to know what they had decided. There also hadn't been any change in Blaine the past couple of days. Kurt was starting to get concerned.
That's when Daniel and Laura entered the room. They both looked upset. Laura was crying so hard Kurt wondered how she could breathe. Daniel looked at Kurt. He looked angry. "You should know, after talking to the doctors, we've decided to terminate life support."
It felt like a knife in Kurt's heart. Tears filled his eyes. He could not believe that he was about to lose Blaine forever. He loved Blaine so much. He could not stand this. "Can I... I want to sing a song to him one last time?" They nodded, Daniel left the room but Laura stayed. Kurt wasn't sure what he wanted to sing. He stood for a moment, and then sitting down next to Blaine, and taking a hold of his hand. Kurt didn't know how he was going to manage without having Blaine at his side. He sang Less Than Perfect to Blaine, because they always say it to each other. When he was finished, the nurses and doctor came in. Kurt was torn between going and staying. He ended up staying, holding onto Blaine's hand until the very end. Kurt was sure he'd never find anyone like Blaine. Blaine would always be in his heart.
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise
that you'll never see me cry
Author's note: So I apologize for the sad. Review if you want. I hate my brain.