Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Prayer?
Time Frame/Spoilers: Aeryn has been captured by the Scarrans. While in captivity, she uses her memories to counter the torture techniques.
Disclaimer: The characters and universe of Farscape are the property of the Henson Co. I have not made any profit off this tale, and I am giving the characters back the way I found them.
Chapter One: "Radiant Aeryn Sun's Diaries"
They are probing me with their hezmana heat again, ravaging my body mind and soul. Things are fuzzy and wavering as I slip into the same nightmare I've had since the torture began. It always starts at the same place. I am about 1 or 2 years old and we have moved from place to place. We don't stay for more than a day on any one planet or its town. My parents are there, both Xalax and Talyn! They repeatedly tell me what an adventure we're having, but I know somehow it's not true. Late at night, I hear my parents argue about me and what they are going through to try and keep us safe from something or someone. They are chasing us and never stopping. The dream always ends in despair.
Now, the fekkik Scarran torturer has begun another level of painful heat probing and is shouting questions at me. I won't answer. I can't answer. It is hard, but I push myself back into my memories. It's a nightmare of being on the run and the monsters were chasing us. Now we're at a small colony called Yeshulia, on a Commerce Planet. I remember we settled in for what seemed a couple of cycles. But one fateful day our quiet home life was suddenly ravaged by men dressed in black and red uniforms with very big guns who I remember demanded that my parents to hand me over to them, or they would take me from them by force. I remember crying and my mother trying to soothe me. My father shouted, "Xalax, take Aeryn and run. I will try and hold them off."
As my mother grabbed me and a large bag filled with supplies and we raced out of our home towards our transport pod which was parked across the field next to where we lived. I heard a lot of shouting and loud explosions coming from behind us. My mother and I reached the ship and board it with my father right behind us. We took off in what seemed to me like a flash.
Once in space, we were confronted with two enormous ships that I later came to know were Command Carriers with their attendant Marauders and much smaller craft called Prowlers all converging on us. It was hopeless. Soon our transfer pod was pulled into one of the Command Carriers. Our little ship was ordered to set down in a large area where many other ships were taking off and landing. People were running all over the place; some guiding ships, some fixing ships and others with large guns guarding the hanger.. I could see in my parent's eyes that we were trapped. Many soldiers converged on us as we sat in our ship. I heard the loud communicator ordering us to come out and I started to cry. My mother placed her hand over my mouth and said, "Hush, Aeryn, little warriors don't cry."
My father exited first, followed by my mother and I. We walked a long way always surrounded by marching red and black dressed helmeted people until we reached a large room containing a very long table. I was so tired and my legs were shaking, but I didn't show it. I was a good little warrior. I remember thinking that the bug-like people who brought us there were monsters and I wouldn't be frightened. My parents and I were ordered to sit down one side of the long table. There was a tall, stern looking man already seated on the other side.. This man seemed to know my parents and called them by name, Talyn and Xalax. I later learned that the tall serious man's name was Captain Helox ..
While I was trying so hard to be brave, I heard the captain say "Talyn and Xalax, my best Commandos. How unfortunate we have to meet under these circumstances."
"You knew the rules, and yet you flaunted them by having a child without permission" Then, he looked straight at me and nodded. "So this is the result of your illegal recreation, a daughter you named Aeryn, I believe." I shuddered under his stare. But he turned his head away and back over to my parents. He continued, "I have my orders to take you back to Command where you will turn her over to be raised as a proper Peacekeeper." He frowned at my parents and spoke softly as if he was genuinely disappointed, "Why didn't you do this in the first place? Even with your illegal procreation, I could have saved your careers and your honor. Now, I cannot help you and you know what the punishment is for disobeying orders. What do you both have to say about this situation?"
My mother and father remained silent and I began to cry., Through my dream state, I can feel myself shaking and gagging from the heat. I find myself laughing. How scared I was back then. I feel very faint right now… suddenly everything goes black.
The cell is dark and dank. There are red stains on its floor and the only light comes from the small window in the steel door. I'm lying on the filthy floor in my sweat and other noxious liquids. As I sit up and blink away the waves of dizziness, I realize that I may never get out of this place. This Drajcan-Dru built hole. It was all a dream — a fever dream. I wasn't one or two, but older when I came to the Command Carrier and lost my parents. It's a dream I've had for years.
I pound my back on the rear wall and yell curses in all the languages I know. With my head shaking, I realize that the only way to survive is the same way I was raised. Be a Peacekeeper. Be strong. Remember the lessons of my life. I'm going to tell you, Drajcan-Dru why you don't rule me. This is my story.
My first memory is a painful one, not because of the torture I have just endured an arn ago, but because it's a fitting place to start. My first memory I recall was being five or six years old and I was with my mother and father and we were in a garden with statues by a lake or pond. I remember hearing other people around us either talking or playing or running around. It felt like forever walking around this beautiful garden. My father was holding me talking with my mother as we all the strolled down this path heading towards this big doorway. Inside this doorway was a long corridor with many different passages. There were a lot of people moving around in these corridors. My parents choose the passage way on the right and continued walking for what seemed to be a long time. My father handed me over to my mother just as we were turning down another long corridor.
Next thing I remember is a big room with a long table with trophies hanging on the walls of different creatures. They scared me although now I just laugh at how really scared I was of those stupid trophies. My mother and father are talking with this man dressed in a red and black tight coat and matching pants (that I now realized was a formal uniform the top officer's uniform of the commander and chief of a Peacekeeper Command Carrier. After what seemed like a very long discussion, my mother kisses my forehead and handed me over to a lady in a different kind of uniform, who turned away in disgust by my mother's choice of showing me affection. I remember crying and reaching for my parents, but they turned and walked away from me I am taken by this lady in uniform down another long corridor to this big open hanger and its very loud because of engine noises from different aircraft. I put my hands up to my ears because it was so loud and my ears began to sting from the noise. There were a lot of uniformed people in this hanger moving around and people shouting orders. I am taken into this pod-looking aircraft and there are other children, too and some are crying very loudly and shouting, "Where's my mommy or daddy," or "I want my mommy or daddy." I am placed in what I know now as a child's carrier-seat and strapped down. I recall that I began to cry again and wondering where are my parents. Where am I going and will ever see them again. At that point, one of the women in uniform tries to calm me down and sticks me with a needle.
The next thing I remember is waking up in a large room lined with beds and cribs. There were kids running around or jumping on their beds. Some of them were also playing some type of games on their beds or at tables that were also lined up in this large room. There were uniformed guards at all of the entrances and exits to this large room. I could hear laughter and also some crying coming from some of these children. The next noise I hear is a very loud horn, which I later come to learn was nightly lights out. All the children lined up by their beds at attention except for the real little ones. I remember someone told me that I needed to stand by my bed like the rest of the children because it was nightly role call and bed check time. This announcement would be heard in the morning and in the afternoon twice and at bed time. The afternoon one was for school training times and meals. This became my life I didn't know where my parents are.