Holidays
Can be seen as sequel to Surprises
The man who worked the Fowl family, as a bodyguard, wasn't as hard to surprise as Artemis Fowl-but it was dangerous to your health if you did so. Entering the boy's room promptly at eight in the morning and finding Artemis sitting in bed flipping casually through A Modern History of Architecture, one of the originals in the ancient form of Greek was not out of the ordinary. Rather, noticing a small figure swathed in blankets on Artemis's other side was quite unexpected.
"Good morning, Butler." Said Artemis, not looking up from the book, which Butler was sure topped one thousand pages, not including footnotes and bibliography. "How are you doing?"
"Artemis, well-" Obviously, he knew it was here if he was sitting there so calmly, but Butler's fingers still itched toward the revolver in his belt.
"Holly's asleep. She came in early this morning after a mission in France. The fairies are on holiday, and as she was above ground, she decided to stop in. I figured the guest room would not be a wise choice, and it would be impractical for her to sleep on the floor, given how tired she is. I really should look into carpeting… Daedalus really was a genius. I wish I could have met him."
Butler was still processing, but the gift of gab could actually be incorporated into survival and blending into an alternate identity, which was how he was able to ask, "Daedalus, the master of King Minos's labyrinth?"
"Correct."
"So he was real?" He asked as he headed over to look at Holly, her elfin face just peeking out of the blankets. Her auburn hair waved slightly with her tiny breaths; never had she looked as small as she did now. The gun was quickly returned to its holster.
"Unproven, though I should take it upon myself to try to do so. Fictional or not, he had some interesting ideas.
"Shuttup."
Artemis smiled to himself, which Butler had previously impossible while reading a book that dense. He excused himself to get Artemis his black tea and Holly her favorite drink of all-hot chocolate. When he returned, Holly was sitting up on the seat by the window, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she stared out at the typical winter wonderland scene. All it needed was Bambi sliding across the ice, though Artemis had once said that there would have been snow on the ice as well, thus Bambi wouldn't have slid everywhere. Artemis detested those animated American films.
"Good morning, Butler." She addressed him, smiling over her shoulder. "That looks delicious."
"Just for you, Holly." He grinned, a rarity for a man with such extensive knowledge of how to incapacitate another. But his sister had always been sure her big brother knew how to smile, no matter how uncomfortable he had been with Artemis's dealings as a younger child, and it was hard to resist enjoying the sight of a good friend sipping her favorite drink daintily. When it proved too hot, she plucked out the peppermint stick and began to crunch it between her teeth. Butler supposed it was one of the few things that Holly Short ever accomplished daintily. Artemis accepted his drink silently, and he did not engage in pleasantries for another moment until he had finished his chapter and marked his page.
"I'm so glad you could drop by." The bodyguard admitted, trying not to crush her tiny form in a vast hug. "A wonderful surprise."
"Quite." Agreed Artemis, "Although your timing wasn't exactly impeccable…"
"Oh," Holly shot back, glaring at the boy over her hot chocolate and returning to her window seat. "I'm sorry. Next time I happen to be flying around in an Irish snowstorm, I'll be sure to wait until whatever time is convenient for you. Does seven sound good? Or, perhaps eight-thirty, given that depending on when you wake up, you may want to freshen up and eat-"
"Nonsense," Artemis waved her away. "You are perfectly at liberty to come at whatever time is best for your overall health. Just wake me up when you come, instead of allowing me that brief moment where I think some crazed lunatic is standing next to my bed. I almost called Butler."
"Pssh. You knew who I was immediately. You wouldn't have called Butler unless absolutely necessary. Besides, it's not like you keep anything a thief would want to steal in here besides furniture, and if the thief was planning on kiping your furniture, they probably would have come through the front door."
Artemis decided against correcting her sentence to, "It's not like you keep anything in here that a thief would want to steal" for the sake of his physical health and instead decided on, "Is 'kiping something you just made up on the spot?"
" 'Kiping. Present action of the slang-verb kipe, meaning to steal.' Look that one up, Mud Boy."
"I am so above using slang terms, I am unable to catch sight of them."
"Ooh, clever. I'll never recover from that retort!"
"Alright, alright." Butler was forced to intervene at the threat of listening to an endless argument this early in the morning. He already had Myles and Beckett, thank you very much. "Am I really reduced to peacekeeper, here?"
"Well, given that one of us is a kleptomaniac and the other a gun-happy ex-officer who graduated with honors from six fairy martial arts courses and is still unable to keep her temper in check, I'd say that yes, Butler, you are."
Holly tossed her blanket, not all together a very threatening gesture given what she was capable of, at the teenager sitting on the bed and casually sipping his tea. Butler caught it deftly in the air, and not a drop of Artemis's drink spilled.
"'Kleptomaniac' doesn't even touch your complete being, Fowl." She snapped.
"Yes, because there are all those synonyms for intelligent, cunning, and witty that we haven't even touched on. And charming."
Holly did a brief word count and exchanged looks with the bodyguard who gave her a look to say, it's getting better.
"You are pushing it, Artemis." Butler chuckled as if this was a normal occurrence and the persistence of the fives didn't worry him, but he still played along. Holly rolled her eyes and pulled the blanket closer around her as Artemis finished his tea and stood. Holly had seen Artemis at his worst, mentally and physically, but it still always gave her a little jolt to see his neatly combed hair rumpled with sleep. He didn't look as threatening, wolf-like. He almost looked normal. Granted, he also seemed relatively happy for this early in the morning, which Holly also attributed to his benign appearance.
"Not quite the weather of southern France, hm, Holly?" Asked Artemis, moving over to his wardrobe to see if he had any sweaters that might fit her. She had plenty of time to shoot him a dirty look before he emerged with a warm, gray shirt he had always been fond of. He tossed it to Holly who considered it, but pulled it on over the suit. Depending on how long she was staying, he could kipe some clothing from the twins, as she wouldn't want him to go into town and buy a set.
"Thanks." She muttered, then smiled at the lanky boy now sifting around for the cashmere sweater his mother had given him that remained one of his favorites despite the wear it received. "It's good to see you, Mud Boy."
Why was it that the words never sounded like an insult coming from her?
"Anyway, what's for breakfast? I'm ravenous."
"I bring you…" Butler grinned, pulling forth another tray from a cart he had brought up with him. Artemis had told him many a time that he was not a butler in the literal sense of the word, but whenever Holly stopped by, they liked surprising her. This time it was jam and toast, more hot chocolate provided in a teakettle, fruit preserves from the estate's gardens, and gingerbread.
"Gingerbread, Butler? You spoil us so." Said Artemis, picking up a cookie nonetheless. "It is hardly nine." He paused. "In the morning. Of today. D'arvit am I screwed. Still. That couplet of sentences hardly made any sense at all."
Holly smiled softly, patting the boy's knee. They sat in a small circle, using a footstool as a small table. Artemis probably considered it primitive, which amused Holly to no end, but she held back on the ribbing for when the Complex wasn't acting up. Reportedly, the cures were going well, although an Artemis in his right state of mind would never have said, "D'arvit am I screwed." She was thinking of this when Butler's mobile phone rang. He glanced once at the screen and muttered, "Juliet" and went to the hallway, as is custom if you receive an important call during a meal.
"Isn't 'screwed' slang?" Holly asked cheekily, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "I thought you were above that."
"Given where we are dining, I am hardly above anything." Said Artemis primly. "I should go take down a wild animal and tear into raw flesh or something."
"Now that's primitive." Agreed Holly, laughing despite herself. "You haven't failed completely, Arty-no, stop! I take it back!"
In the space of an instant, Holly had leapt from her spot, plowing into Artemis and grabbing the defenseless gingerbread man from his hand. She sat on his chest, staring hard into his eyes.
"Always alwaysalways bite the heads of first, you twit!" She reprimanded, hitting him in the nose with the hand of the gingerbread man, as of yet undamaged, thanks to her quick actions. "Then they don't suffer needlessly."
"Uh, Holly-"
"No! If you give food a living shape, you follow that rule! What if, Artemis, what if?"
"And they say I'm the one with a mental disorder."
"Your entire brain is a mental disorder. Now, promise me: you will alwaysalwaysalways always bite the head off food objects that bare resemblance to living things."
"You didn't say enough always's."
"So say five," Holly demanded, prodding him in the chest with a thankfully gunless hand.
Artemis felt slightly ridiculous, lying on the floor of his bedroom with Holly Short sitting on his chest and demanding such a thing, under pain of something definitely painful. But it was easy to promise, and contrary to popular belief, Artemis did not like lying to his friends.
"I, Artemis Fowl, hereby promise to alwaysalwaysalwaysalways always bite the head off edible objects that bare resemblance to living beings before I eat any other appendages."
Holly's scowl broke way to a grin, and she helped him to sit up and offered the cookie back. He dutifully bit its head off first, and suddenly he found Holly sitting at his side, and her happiness made up for his break of morning routine. Butler had once told him that was a true sign of friendship. He had disagreed, thinking that if one person could mess up another's ideals so much, the latter was probably mentally unstable. But now, now he rather felt Butler was right.
Except for the fact that the majority of the fairy population did consider him unstable, but that was beyond the point.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Frowned Holly.
"Just glad you're here." He said swiftly, refusing to look back at the fairy and acknowledge his descent into sentimentality. The fact that she didn't hit him meant that she felt the same. The day passed too quickly for Artemis's liking, a day spent entirely with his friends, a day spent with hardly an evil thought to speak of. Holly, too, enjoyed the time aboveground despite her natural nocturnal habits, spent in the company of one and sometimes two of her favorite people.
Holly decided that Artemis wasn't feeling well, because after breakfast he led her outside and past the grounds down to the seashore. Ireland's coast isn't exactly Miami Beach, especially with the snow, but Holly much preferred it this way. It seemed more… natural in this place, with few humans and little interference to the natural order of life. Besides, Holly had always liked cloudy weather. It was unpredictable, it didn't follow orders. The sun could strike through the grey, or maybe rain would begin to fall. There was no unpredictable weather underground, only what was planned and simulated in parks. Butler followed nearby, almost intervening when Holly pushing Artemis into the water, laughing, but he caught himself and had to settle with soaking his shoes and pants, rather than his entire self. She finally agreed to dry him off magically midway through a rant on hypothermia, but Butler largely suspected she had planned to do so anyway. Besides, the bodyguard chuckled; his charge had probably deserved it.
Later, after Artemis had disappeared with Butler to rustle up some appropriate lunches, they all retreated to his library. Although Artemis did not usually eat in this expansive room, attached to the study and lab, there was a table, and the three talked for hours after their last bites of completely vegetarian minestrone soup.
Holly's eyes had strayed around the room, a typical move of a policewoman, ex or not. But only after the conversation slowed and Holly's eyes strayed to a beautiful old grand piano did they move. She hopped up and strode confidently over, though she did glance at Artemis before plunking a hand on one note.
"So it isn't just a piece of antique eye candy!" She teased, sitting down on the refurnished seat and wriggling until she was comfortable. This didn't take long, as the Fowls, who never accepted anything but the best, had paid for it. Even if it was a piano bench from the Victorian era. Artemis rolled his eyes and excused himself, taking a seat next to Holly at the center of the piano.
"This is one of the oldest piano fortes that remains functional." He said primly, taking her hand and placing it in Middle C position.
"'One of the oldest?'"
"The oldest is in the family room."
"Of course." She snorted, taking her hand off the piano, remembering with pain a few LEPrecon karaoke office parties, disastrous music teachers from grade school, and the time their demon friend had insisted on trying to teach her to play a musical invention of his. That hadn't gone well. "Does your mother play?" She asked, hoping this might divert her attention to less painful subjects. Trouble still hadn't let go of those stupid parties.
"Though she sings, I am the only one who plays the piano. Myles is attempting to instruct himself, but he is diverted by research on cancerous growths." He admitted as if it was completely normal to have one's younger brother research cancer before he hit ten. Holly had to refrain from making a skeptical noise, just glad that he was interested in healing rather than say, world domination. Myles must take after his mother.
"How long?"
"I have been playing the piano since… was it age two and a half, Butler?"
"Like you have to ask me."
Artemis took that for conformation, the age at which he began playing the piano unimportant, though he had hardly forgotten. Butler had been silent, and he hoped the bodyguard knew he hadn't forgotten about him.
"Where is your music?" Asked Holly, plunking another note on Queen Victoria's piano.
"What I have memorized I have stowed away, though I usually play by ear." He played a sample of something cold and sweet, like snowfall, with one hand. His hands, more than adept with computers, anything mechanical, and books, looked completely at home on the ivory keys. His long fingers were meant for this kind of work.
Holly nudged him. "Play something else. We don't have many pianos below ground."
Externally, he sighed and shot her the trademark do-I-have-to look, an expression Holly had seen on many human teens but never on Artemis. She was much more accustomed to his vampire grin. In his mind, he had immediately begun to scroll through possible selections, rather like a computer matching a thumbprint to a criminal's, though Artemis's mind was much more concise. He shifted slightly on the bench, his pianist hands curving into their natural position, and he began to play.
Holly was careful to stay out of the way of his flying fingers, but he had of course taken this to mind, and the composition he had chosen did not require her to move.
It started softly, like little bells, or bird song, then commenced further, telling a story with wordless sound, something that sounded rather hopeful to Holly, a story that refused to give up and drive on. A little like the spring, when shoots just began to curl from the leftover snow, a splash of green against white. The story gathered strength, then died quickly, quieting as if afraid someone would overhear, before it continued on. The finale was made up of the same songbird music, and then the story ended and Holly was still watching Artemis's hands, fascinated at capabilities she had never recognized. There were not very many musicians in Haven, and Holly had never considered music much of a priority aside from when her mother sang around the house, but the song that hummed from the piano and vibrating through her veins had caught her attention. She could now recognize why someone would want to be able to create such beautiful music.
Holly Short did not admit this to anyone, instead shoving the boy at her side lightly. "Play another."
Artemis Fowl did not admit that he enjoyed this request immensely, and he would have played until his fingers had been worn into stubs if it meant such a good friend would keep listening. His hands began to drift across the keys again, this song just as beautiful but much more the tragedy than the tale of perseverance that the last one had been.
Watching them, the genius child of a crime lord who had somehow turned over a new leaf, and the elf sitting at his side, entranced by the music as if mesmerized, Butler couldn't help but disregard Madam Ko's number one rule and allow himself to relax and to be content with the pleasure of his two friends.
Artemis played throughout the day for Holly, and sometimes they would talk while he did so. Behind the enormous windows Butler had always hated but Angeline had insisted upon if her darling boy spent so much time inside, it had again started to snow. Butler turned away more than one servant sent to summon Artemis, but it was eventually Angeline Fowl who stopped outside the doors of her son's library and paused to listen to the music. She didn't end up calling Artemis for dinner, content in the fact that for some reason, her son was happy.
And with the two friends sitting side by side, the soft music, occasional laugh, and the snow coating the grounds outside, Butler realized that it was very much like the end scene from one of those crazy American animated films that Artemis detested but Juliet had a strange fondness for, where everything was perfect. Eventually, the naturally nocturnal elf dozed off on Artemis' shoulder and his fingers smoothly transitioned into a lullaby, and Butler decided that never had there been a sweeter holiday season at Fowl Manor, and if Artemis and Holly had heard this observation, they would have agreed wholeheartedly.