透明だった世界
Toumei Datta Sekai
「It Was A Transparent World」
Full Summary:
Companion to 'Diver'. To separate two halves of a whole soul is unforgivable. Noll knew that somehow, he must go and look for Gene and hope that he could find him soon to let his spirit rest. But who are we to expect that such things can happen that quickly? And why should we even doubt our own reflections? After all, it was a transparent world… One shot, drabble.
[Inspired by Motohiro Hata's 'Toumei Datta Sekai' one evening when I couldn't sleep.]
IMPORTANT! Read this! DL, DR!
Warning: Angst-ridden drabble.
Genres: Angst & Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: I will never own Ghost Hunt, 'kay? All rights reserved by all concerned parties.
What was it that I had truly lost that day?
I forgot a long time ago
Frustration.
Fear.
Sorrow.
Regret.
I was slowly running out of time to even think.
This wild goose chase was tiring me out. Be as it may, even my vigilant search for that lake which had been your unceremonious resting place was proving to be futile as the days passed.
How did the two of us came to be like this? Was this the irony of life? To leave the weaker at the mercy of the lions?
Green.
Death.
Black.
Sorrow.
Where did you go? Did you look for me before you drew your last?
Did you call out my name in those last few moments of your life?
In the twilight, the two of us started to become unnoticable, little by little
Nevertheless, we wouldn't return home
I couldn't breathe.
No trace. You were gone like a snap of one's fingers. Or a butterfly caught by a cat.
I couldn't see.
Black.
Sorrow.
Green.
Spring.
That was when I first saw her.
Taniyama.
Mountain valley.
Mai.
Hemp cloth.
Taniyama Mai.
"Four."
Telling ghost stories to pass the time.
She thought that ghost stories are romantic. She had such simple innocence about that kind of thing that I wanted to turn and slap the reality in her face.
But then, maybe she was right.
Black.
Or maybe she was just deluding me.
Green.
After all, what was romantic in seeing your own twin brother run over by a car two times and then dropped into a lake in the first grips of freaking winter?
Eugene.
Well-born.
Oliver.
Of the olive tree.
Davis.
Son of the Beloved.
Somewhere is my seemingly broken and fragile heart
Covered and hidden, covered and hidden by words under the pretence of being strong
I am not perfect.
No one is. But you were fairly very close to being one.
You could've run for prime minister later in your life if you'd lived (the mere thought made me smile) and lynched your opponent. Or maybe there'd be no opposition. You were just a bit too charismatic to excite the envy of anyone. But maybe you'd be disqualified also. You're Asian.
You had been very slow to anger, and very quick to forgive slights. However, I don't like seeing you whenever your temper gets roused. You had a much more terrible temper than mine, even coupled with my tendency to destroy everything around me whenever I get furious.
Who said that the quiet ones can be the most violent when roused? You could have been the loudest person in the whole of Britain and still outdo my temper.
You always do outdo me.
But I still know that you're the closest blood relative that I'll ever have. The only remains of our shattered family.
That's the only reason I'd need to put up with your undeniable superiority, even without all your quirks, kindnesses, and attention.
I hate myself for even thinking that.
You never really intentionally tried to outclass me, after all. You were really just beyond my reach.
An idiot, but still, a brilliant idiot. Because you are that kind of idiot that can make me smile and keep it there on my face for a long stretch.
You said that we can't meet anymore, so we'll move on, farewell
Even if you aren't in this world, I will run, supassing someday's pain
Did I really accept the fact months after your death and with still no lead as to where that cursed lake might be?
How big was Japan? And how many lakes will I have to see before I get sick and tired of them?
Even if I found you again, it won't change anything. I won't still see your brilliant smile flashing at me to cheer me up.
Anger.
Frustration.
Gold.
Sunflower. One of your favorite flowers. They always turn to the light. Maybe it reminded you of me? I dunno. I always kept myself turned to your brillance.
Every time I come back from a trip, Mai would ask me how it went.
I would always ignore her. Or else, answer back curtly. Because again, again, again, it yielded nothing.
She had nicknamed me 'Naru' for narcissist.
Narcissi are beautiful flowers, now that I came to think of it.
They always bow their heads humbly to see their reflections on the water clearly.
That's how I feel towards you, you know. I could totally relate.
Broken framents of glass, the scent of grassy places, the wounds of summer
Tell me, where are you now?
Black.
Sorrow.
Green.
Summer.
The cicadas are awakening.
A whole year passed, and still no sign of you.
I think that you are feeling pretty discouraged by this time, but please wait for me a bit more. Just a bit more.
Just a bit more.
Then, it happened. As we came back from a case…
The lake.
Unnoticed, the perfectly clear water has become dull and muddy
When you realised that, I too had grown up
I had known its features by heart already. And when I looked down from the railings to look at the water, my breath hitched.
My reflection was clearer than ever.
You're near. You're nearer to me.
Just a bit more…
"Finally…"
Can you see me now? I'm now older than you. Seventeen years old.
You must be shaking your head now.
I couldn't know for sure—because you're gone.
The water broke out in ripples.
Did a tear just drop?
The water's surface wobbled; diffusing my reflection
A light is still shining through, shining through
Who is it?
Who was in the lake, Naru?
"My elder brother."
Brown eyes.
Shock.
Apology.
Even you must have changed since that day we waved our hands in farewell
But still I live on, surpassing the many nights I want to cry
…I watched them as they hauled your covered body to shore.
Black.
Sorrow.
Green.
Death.
I didn't shed any tear. I had been far too gone for that. My eyes had long since dried up from mourning for you. My clothes were as black as my silence while I raised the tarpaulin covering you and peeked at your hair.
Regret.
Loss.
Mai was watching, but of course I didn't let her see any more. I wanted you to burn in my memory and in others' as a laugh that was stirred gently by the wind.
What was it that I truly lost that day?
You knew that I've searched for you long enough, didn't you?
If you could talk to me right now, I wonder what I would have asked you first?
Of course, I love you right back. You've been my something when I had nothing in me to go on living like a robot.
You're a stupid idiot, but that stupid idiot was the one who made me smile when everything else failed.
I decided to cremate your remains and send you back to England. I would have preferred to have your body intact, but it was too expensive, and we were running out of funds.
Funeral.
Leaving.
England.
End.
You said that we can't meet anymore, so we'll move on, farewell
How should I make the world I'm running to, surpassing the future I once saw
What was that remark that I gave Matsuzaki-san one time?
"…But I'm afraid that I've to decline, as I'm too used to looking in the mirror."
Mirror.
Kagami.
Reflection.
Twins.
Wasn't it? They didn't have to realize my metaphor.
I knew you would have said the same thing if you were in my place, and then laughed.
'Cause that's the way you were made from the start.
A/N:
The lyrics touched me so much I just had to make a one shot for Naru! :D
The title is Toumei Datta Sekai, sung by Motohiro Hata (amazingly brilliant!) and you can download it from the Internet if you're interested. It's the seventh opening theme of NARUTO Shippuuden, by the way.
Review if you can. They make me ecstatic any time of the day. :)