An Acknowledgment...

The following fanfic was inspired by two pictures made by Not-A-Hazard (who can be found on deviantart and other sites among the web) and without those pics, Maim de Maim and several other fics made after their creation would've not existed.

I thank you for making those and inspiring me and many other members of the KlK fandom to create such stories. You deserve the publicity.


Somewhere...familiar, yet unfamiliar.


"So. I take it your shift is up soon?" A rather out of shape security guard asked a fellow worker.

"Yeah. Just bidding my time before I have to split by reading this book I picked up on the way over here." a younger, more in shape security guard replied.

"Looks more like you're reading smut." the hefty security guard chuckled as he got a glimpse of his fellow worker's book. On the cover was a picture of a girl of questionable age, striking a provocative pose and wearing a very skimpy outfit.

"Wanna see what's inside?" the younger security guard smirked back as he lifted the book towards the other guard.

Despite initial hesitation, the older security guard grabbed the book and peered inside it, finding himself staring eye to eye with graphic images of the same girl on the cover being hammered by an athletic stud with an impressively sized dong. He darted his eyes back to his colleague and groaned, "Man, this is sick. Where in god's name did you find this crap?"

"I lied about buying it." the younger security guard replied with a light chuckle. "I actually snagged it from some loser I saw wanking by some bushes. Told him this shit is illegal, beat the everliving snot out of his pathetic ass and took it for myself. Can't say I don't regret it."

"Oh come on. Shouldn't you be just as likely to be thrown in the slammer as well just by possessing it?" the other security guard scoffed at his fellow worker, disgusted by his attitude.

"Thing is, we work for the government. That alone exempts us from obscenity laws." the younger security guard replied in a cocky tone.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever." the older security guard shrugged after he realized his responses are going in one ear and out the other.


After things calmed down a bit, both men then heard a very audible rumble coming from outside. They initially both assumed it was just a jet plane passing by, but they then heard the sound of an aircraft landing outside the building they're in, which really got them worried.

"The hell was it?" the younger guard asked, sounding a little concerned, which is a jarring contrast to the attitude he was previously presenting just a minute ago.

"I don't know, but I wouldn't want to be caught off guard if it was some unwelcome guests." the older guard replied as he pulled out a loaded handgun.

"Good idea." the younger guard replied back, which he then pulled out his own handgun just to be safe.


As both guards stood alert with their guns out, a cacophony of footsteps echoed through the building, which only made the guards increasingly more cautious than before. Both guards then slowly creep towards the main doors with their guns aimed at whatever may be on the other side as they heard something banging on said doors.

In a split second, the doors kicked open and a swarm of people in black tactical attire entered the room, all armed with sub-machine guns.

"Surrender your weapons or there will be trouble!" an armed man barked at the guards.

With little choice, the guards got on their knees and put their firearms down on the ground, much to the pleasure to the intruders.

The armed forces by the main door then stepped aside as they heard the sound of high heels approaching them. The sound then got progressively louder and louder until a young woman in a black sailor uniform entered the picture. She then stopped in front of the armed forces, looked at the security guards with a very stern grimace for a quick second, then resumed making her way towards the next set of doors on the other end of the room.

However, before the young lady could get any further, the young guard quickly picked his firearm back up, aimed it at her and yelled, "Don't make another step! You Kiryuin bastards are not permitted here!", which immediately made the older guard facepalm in utter revulsion.

The young woman then looked back at the young guard with an angered glare, quickly walked up to him, pulled out a black-bladed katana with her right hand and pointed it at him. She then lightly pushed the blade of her katana against the young guard's next and scowled, "If I didn't have other business to conduct here today, I would've decapitated you without hesitation. Consider yourself spared of certain death, worthless pig."

Having just broke a sweat, the young guard continued to cower in fear as the woman stood in front of him. However, he noticed that the woman had her eyes peering at the security booth and started to walk towards it.

"Please don't go there! There's nothing interesting there for you to see!" the young guard stammered in fear. However, his pleas fell on deaf ears as the woman entered the booth and spotted the book. She picked it up, took a look at a few pages, closed it, stomped her way back to the guard, grabbed him by the neck and yelled, "Filthy pervert! I'm revoking my pardon! Time to die!".

"Ms. Kiryuin, don't work yourself up! Let us take care of him." one of the armed forces calmly spoke out to his superior.

Without any other thought, the woman nodded at him and quickly shouted, "Bravo team. Take care of that perverted pig and that fat sack of shit! Alpha team. You're with me.", which all of the respective armed forces quietly nodded their heads. One half of the forces immediately followed the woman after she ripped the book in half whereas the other half took over the duty of dealing with the security guards. Two of them grabbed the younger guard while another pair did the same with the older guard.

"Please! Don't shoot me! Don't! I'm a month away from getting my masters..." the younger guard cried as a third armed intruder aimed his sub-machine gun but his pleas proved futile as the armed intruder pulled the trigger without hesitation. Several brief but loud bursts of rapid gun fire then shook the room and the younger guard dropped onto the ground, secreting runny blood out of his body like a volcano.

Several other armed intruders then lifted up the older guard, which one of them then informed, "Sir, you are now the official property of the Kiryuin Conglomerate. Any attempt of escape or betrayal will immediately result in your demise. Submission to us is the only way to live."

"You...bastards! If any word of your acts of terrorism gets to the Prime Minister, consider yourselves rightfully fucked!" the older guard disobediently yelled at the armed intruders without physically resorting to resistance.

"Terrorism? Heh. The Prime Minister thinks highly of the Kiryuin Conglomerate, pal. The chances of us being blacklisted as terrorists, especially with the amount of power Lady Kiryuin has globally, are extremely minute." another guard laughed back, mocking everything the guard had to say. "Now get into the aircraft or drop dead, gramps!"

With little choice, the still living guard got into the aircraft and simply followed orders. He then sat down on a bench as the Bravo team kept their guns pointed at him.


Back in the building, the woman and the Alpha team are seen still walking down the hallway. The woman's demeanor, while still stern, has loosened up a little as she carried a conversation with a member of the Alpha team.

"If you ask me, your mother will be very impressed with how you're handling this operation, Ryuko Kiryuin." the Alpha team member calmly talked to his superior.

"Much obliged, my friend. Much fucking obliged." Ryuko replied to the Alpha team member as they reached another set of doors. Two other Alpha team members then opened the doors and let Ryuko walk into the room. The other Alpha team members then followed her into the room and slammed the doors shut.


デ不具を不具

MAIM de MAIM


A day later...in another part of Japan.


Inside a very modest, middle class looking room, an old Japanese man with a comically long beard is seen lounging on the couch half-asleep. On the TV was a news reporter informing the viewers of the event that was just witnessed a few sentences ago.

Although the television itself was pretty loud, the old man is woken up by the sound of several loud knocks on the front door.

"Oh for christ's sake. Why the hell don't people just use the damn doorbell?" the old man groaned as he got off the couch and made his way towards the front door. He then opened it and was greeted by a young woman with pink hair.

"Hi, Mr. Matoi!" the girl shouted at the old man, though due to her rather eccentric sounding voice, the shout had a few snorts and light growls thrown into the mix.

"Hello Ms. Jakuzure." Mr. Matoi replied, trying his hardest to sound jolly despite being a big groggy due to being asleep several seconds ago.

"Is Satsuki home?" Ms. Jakuzure asked Mr. Matoi, though he couldn't tell if she sounded happy or just straight up psychotic, not that he minded.

"Yes she's home. Just go in the backyard. I'm positive you'll find her there." Mr. Matoi replied back. Right before he walked back into his house, he saw Ms. Jakuzure hum some obscure classical music composition and marched her way to the backyard in a rhythmic matter. He then turned around, shut the door and grumbled, "Man, I never knew that girl was going to grow up like that back when Satsuki met her. Gee wiz.", as he walked back to his couch.


Out in the backyard, a woman with predominantly long black hair is seen standing by bushes and trees, though we only see her from the back. Her friend is then seen still humming and strutting towards her, though once she saw her, she stopped and shouted out, "Hi Satsuki!"

Satsuki then turns around to face her friend, which we then see a noticeable streak of blue hair in the midst of her rich black hair and replies, "Hello Nonon. How you're doing today?"

"Better than how Bach felt a few days after getting jailed, my friend." Nonon replied back with a slight squawk. "So. You got any of your special flora?"

"Uh, I hate to admit it, but we used what I had left the other day." Satsuki muttered to her friend in a disappointed tone. "I'm afraid we can't smoke a bowl at this minute."

"Aw crap, Satsuki. How the hell else am I supposed to see all of the sweat and tears Mozart put into concerto 23 now?" Nonon whined after she heard her friend's bad news.

"Don't fret now, Nonon." Satsuki chimed in with a renewed optimism. "I had plans to pay a visit to my dealer later, so we're not out of the woods yet."

"Ah. At least now my tuba spit valve won't be dry for long!" Nonon squealed in response and started to strut around again as she hummed some random Beethoven composition.

"Nonon. That was an awkward analogy." Satsuki replied after she calmly shook her head in slight embarrassment.

"Eh. I thought it fit the moment like a good alto note." Nonon chuckled back in a rather strange, raspy tone. "So when are we going to get more of your magic flora?"

"Well, my friend. I wasn't quite planning to go just yet, but since you decided to pop by, maybe we can go together and meet up with the dealer." Satsuki chimed in again, still sounding very calm and relaxed.

"Oh ode to joy, Satsuki! I got dibs on driving!" Nonon squawked in a sing songy manner. She then made a mad rush to her bright pink scooter, which also happened to be covered in black musical notes. However, Satsuki took the time to pop into her home, poke her head out by the corner and told Mr. Matoi, "Dad, i'm going out for a bit with Nonon. I'll be back soon."

"You two better not get yourselves in hot water now while you're out." Mr. Matoi shouted back at his daughter in a slightly annoyed tone. Satsuki simply smiled back, nodded her head and closed the door afterwards. Mr. Matoi then walked back to his couch, sat down on it, tried his hardest to get relaxed again for a minute, then muttered in a frustrated tone, "Crap. I don't feel sleepy anymore."


An alleyway, a very dirty, trash ridden alleyway somewhere in the city, seemed to be deserted to uninitiated. However, around a corner, the sounds of a man gasping for air were heard. He was kneeling down on the ground, catching his breath. He sequentially cocked his head against both of his shoulders to see if anyone was near by and to his relief, he saw not a single soul in sight. He exhaled his breath, stood back up and muttered a shivering tone, "Oh man. I think I might've lost those Kiryuin Conglomerate thugs. I guess the coast is clear."

The man then walked over to a garbage can, opened it and pulled out two objects, the first being a long, sword like object heavily wrapped up in a gray cloth and the other a white box that has the Kiryuin Conglomerate logo embossed into it. With both in hand, the man started to cautiously walk through the alleyway, acting very alert and paranoid.

As the man continued to make his trek down the long, monochromatic alleyway, he stopped, panicked a bit and hid against a wall after he heard a chugging sound not too far from where he's at. After a few seconds, the chugging sound then stopped, which prompted the man to cautiously peek his head out. Much to his confusion, he saw Satsuki and Nonon getting off the scooter and talking.

"What the hell are these kids doing here?" the man muttered to himself as he saw them entering the alley. "This is not the damn place for them to hang out on a Sunday.". Despite that, he stepped back to where he was hiding so no one could actually see he's there, especially those that he claimed are after him.

"This is really where you get your magic flora at, Satsuki?" Nonon asked her friend as they walked through the alley to reach their destination. "For someone who's such a bright ray of everything positive in this world, you sure don't mind trekking through real shitholes to get your goods."

"I know, my friend." Satsuki calmly replied without a single hint of fear in her expression. "Still, we're getting closer to the dealer, so we won't be here much longer."

"I hope that's true." Nonon groaned, growling less willing to hang out in such a run down part of the city."

The man, who was still hiding in plain sight, suddenly heard several louder, more hurried sounding sets of footsteps power walking down the alley, which made his heart race a little. Even though he knew he more or less reached near curiosity killed the cat territory, he took a glance towards where the footsteps were coming from and much to his horror, saw several rough looking guys with Uzis heading down his direction. His gut sank and his eyes widened as he realized that death is nearing him and knowing this was the end, he ran out of the spot he was riding in a suicidal attempt to flee.

One of the guards saw him, shouted "There's the bastard! Shoot him!" and he, as well as the others, aimed their Uzis and opened fire at their target, hoping a flurry of gun fire would hit him.


Alerted by the long bangs of the Uzis, Nonon yelled, "Oh shit, Satsuki! Forget the weed, we gotta get the hell out of here!"

Having not flinched at the loud sounds, Satsuki looked around her surroundings, spotted a large, worn out locker, pointed at it and told Nonon, "Look. That's what we're going to hide in."

"You're kidding me?" Nonon whined back in disbelief, which Satsuki then smiled and nodded her head in response. With little choice, she opened one of the lockers and got in. Satsuki then got into the same locker and closed it.


Being chased by his pursuers, the man passed by the locker and kept running through the alleyway until he found himself at a dead end. He stopped, looked around and saw a brick wall with an open gap one could throw things over it. He looked up at the gap, chucked the long wrapped object over the wall and did the same with the box. Due to his timing, he was able to get rid of the objects right before his pursuers caught up with him and once they did, one of them yelled, "Mr. Otomo, where are the stolen goods?!"

"Stolen goods? Oh you mean that Kiryuin Conglomerate rubbish I borrowed? I threw them away. They were absolute garbage." the man nervously laughed in an attempt to humor with his pursuers.

"Threw them away my ass!" another pursuer yelled back at the man in a very vitriolic tone. "You knew Lady Kiryuin has a lot of value in those items you blatantly stole. Show us where you put them or we'll have to give you a one way ticket to hell!"

"Never!" the man stubbornly yelled back, refusing to even cooperate with the goons.

"Well. I'm afraid to be the bearer of bad news but consider this moment a retirement from life." the main goon gravely informed the man. All of the goons then aimed their Uzis at the man and opened fire, painting the wall behind their target with his blood. Their bullets were their paint bush, his body was their paint can, his blood was their paint and the wall was their canvas. The end product was a disturbing, Jackson Pollock inspired nightmare that would send shivers down a crime investigator's spine.

Having killed their target, the goons lowered their Uzis, turned the other way and walked away from their incidental piece of gory abstract act.

"Should we look for the stolen goods?" one of the goons asked, sounding relatively concerned.

"Nah. That's not the job Lady Kiryuin payed us for." the lead goon replied in a very dry, deadpan tone. "Since that asshole lost the goods, she'll just have to send her own guys to retrieve them."

"Yeah that's true." the lesser goon replied back as he calmed down a bit. "Shall we get something to eat?"

"Definitely. I'm starving." another goon joyfully chimed in as the others shook their heads in agreement.


"Satsuki. Do you think it's safe to get out now?" Nonon nervously asked her friend, trembling in terror.

"I think so." Satsuki calmly replied, having not been fazed by what just conspired at all. She then opened the locker and saw no one heading their way. However, she did see several men in business suits walking away from the locker, which prompted her to add, "Yeah, we're safe."

"Oh thank friggin' heaven!" Nonon whined out as she rudely squeezed out of the locker, pushing Satsuki out of the way. "It smelled like friggin' cat piss in there. Couldn't take it anymore."

"C'mon, Nonon. It wasn't that bad." Satsuki chuckled, acting no different than she was before the gun fire started happening. However, she noticed a body laying against a wall doused in blood a distance away from them, pointed it at her friend and added, "That's not good."

Satsuki then ran to the corpse and muttered, "I guess those guys had a real bone to pick with him."

"Dammit Satsuki, that wasn't funny. This guy here just got friggin' killed!" Nonon yelled back, chewing her friend out for making a joke.

"Nonon, I was just trying to ease tension here." Satsuki chimed back, sounding slightly disappointed that her joke didn't make her friend laugh.

"Uh, Satsuki. Didn't you forget we came here to replenish your magic flora reserves?" Nonon pestered her friend in a very guttural rasp that also happened to have a few squeaks and squawks sporadically thrown in. "The sooner I dance on William Tell's music sheets after taking a hit, the better, dammit."

"You were the one who didn't want to get my stuff anymore after we heard all the gun fire in the first place." Satsuki replied back in a slightly more stern, reserved tone, though she immediately retreated back to her usual jolly expression. "Just saying."

"Bah. Always slapping me back to harsh reality with the blunt force of an early Penderecki composition." Nonon sneered in an annoyed tone.

Satsuki then quickly muttered, "This way." and resumed walking through the alley to find her dealer. Nonon then followed suit without question, though still looking a bit shaken by the ghastly sight of a bullet ridden corpse.

However, after they left that part of the alley and entered another part of the seemingly lengthy, labyrinth like alley, they immediately found themselves staring at two peculiar items laying down on the ground. The box and the wrapped up object the dead man had previously chucked in a successful attempt to keep his pursuers from finding them.