A little angsty AU fic focused on the characters of Liam and Carla Connor from UK soap Coronation Street. This is based in February after Carla confided in her engaged brother-in-law that she had feelings for him. The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. I hope you like it and if you do leave a review. Constructive Critisism is welcome.
I'm so tired of being here
Carla sighed as tears brimmed in her green eyes as she stood by the bridge, the moonlight illuminating the deserted street as she played in her mind the look on his face as she told him how she felt. God she was so stupid, how could she ever think that he'd pick her. Maria was having his child and she was sweet in a way or at least to Liam. How could she ever compete with that? She shivered slightly in the crisp February cold night and raised a hand to brush away a tear that had escaped and made it's way down her cheek.
Suppressed by all my childish fears
"Daddy no!" Carla whimpered as her father lashed out at her his hand delivering a stinging slap to her cheek. Her mother lay in a drunken stupor in the corner of the room as her ten year old felt her eyes fill with tears. "Vile little wretch, you'll never amount to anything. No-one will ever want you." Colin spat as she trembled beneath his glare.
"Yo...your wrong daddy. On...one day I'll have so...someone who loves me more than anything." Carla said stoutly as she backed away from her father's reach. He smirked and let out a snigger. "Oh please, who'd want you. Look at yourself." He said taking pleasure at the look of dismay on his daughter's face.
And if you have to leave
She picked at her finger-nails slightly wishing that Liam if he had to marry Maria, if he had to enjoy married life then he wouldn't flaunt it in front of her. That he wouldn't rub it in that he'd found happiness and she was stuck in a relationship he knew she wasn't really that into. Not that Tony wasn't a nice bloke but he wasn't Liam. He didn't make her feel one extreme to another in the space of minutes like Liam could. He could infuriate her and she'd still want him to pull her into his arms and kiss her passionately.
I wish that you would just leave
Couldn't he move just far away enough so that she didn't have the wedded bliss shoved down her throat. It was bad enough that Maria seemed happy to ram it down her throat every time she was in the Rovers or whatever but Carla had never thought that Liam would join in the rubbing it in. Ever since his fall he'd been a different person, sure she hadn't been an angel but she never had been but since the accident he'd almost enjoyed seeing his business partner get upset at Maria's jibes.
'Cause your presence still lingers here
Carla's finger lightly traced her lips that just earlier that evening had been lingered on Liam's. God she'd turned into one of those desperate women she despised, the type that couldn't cope without a man though she knew it was slightly more than that. It wasn't a man she needed, it was Liam. She clutched her bag closely to her as she heard footsteps behind her and she whipped round in the hope that maybe he had followed her, maybe he still wanted her despite his earlier dismissal of her tearful, honest confession.
And it won't leave me alone
She sighed as she contemplated just packing up and leaving, leaving Wetherfield, Manchester; just escaping to somewhere that she'd never have to see Liam cradling a newborn baby as she stood embittered across the street, never have to see him take his vows to Maria. Her eyes misted over as she realised that the footsteps were only from a young man who smiled softly at her before passing through the street.
These wounds won't seem to heal
After Paul's betrayal and his death she'd struggled albeit behind closed doors for she didn't want anyone to see her as the vulnerable, fragile woman she in reality was behind the facade she put on for the factory girls. Liam had been there for her. Sure they'd had their arguments but he was there for her through good and bad and now...now he wasn't. Now he'd rather mock her along with Maria. At least Carla never dragged Tony into her argument with Maria.
This pain is just too real
Carla coughed slightly as another wave of tears fell down her cheeks and dropped into the calm waters of the moonlit canal, the waters gently lapping at the canal banks. Well he'd been pretty clear in his words when she'd told him how he felt. What was the point anymore. He hated her, his parent made it pretty clear they were glad she was no longer family and well if she was honest there was only Tony who cared at all about her and all she had done was use him. God she was a horrible person, Liam was right. She stood silently her tears still falling gently as she pondered on what to do.
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Gazing into the murky waters below Carla sighed. She wasn't needed, loved. Despite everything Liam didn't want her. Sure he might have kissed her that day but now, now he hated her along with pretty much everyone. The factory girls would probably have a party if they found out she had left and Maria would personally revel in her absence. Brushing her hair back behind her ear that the February wind was causing to whip against her cheek Carla let out a deep sigh. Without Liam her life had no purpose and there was no way she could bare facing him on a daily basis thinking how he'd looked at her with a look of disgust and pity as she'd confessed.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
Liam rushed down the hospital corridor telling himself she wouldn't, this was Carla they were talking about, she was made of much harder stuff than that. She wouldn't take the cowards way out. Michelle and Tony trailed behind him amazed at his utter devastation as tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. A police officer was sat by the private room. He handed Liam a purse and Liam's heart sank as he nodded that it was Carla's. There was a sodden photo of himself, Michelle, Paul and Carla from when they were a little younger.
By your resonating light
He gazed tearfully at her still form as Michelle sat by his side, tears in her eyes. "Why do you think she did it. I mean Carla's never been the type to do something like this." She said as Tony had gone to the toilet. He had simply sat silently unable to express how he felt. The heart monitor beeped softly echoing around the room. Liam shuffled guiltily wandering if it was his words that had caused his beautiful sister-in-law to do something so drastic, so unlike her.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
"Mr Connor as Mrs Connor's next of kin it's up to yourself as to whether you wish to keep her on life support. The chances of her making any recovery are very slim and even if she does manage to breath on her own then the chances are she will be brain damaged, possibly disabled in some way. It did take a while to stabilize her as we recovered her from the canal so it's up to yourself."
"I...I'm not her husband. I'm her brother-in-law." Liam said sensing they'd got him mixed up and Carla hadn't changed her next of kin details. "Mr Liam Connor?"
"Yeah that's me. Her husband was Paul Connor." Liam said uncomfortably.
"Well you sir are the name on the system. So if you want a little while to think." The doctor said sadly as Liam's shoulder's slumped. He didn't want to have that responsibility.
Your face it haunts
"Liam what's happened? You're okay right. Michelle just told me to come to the hospital." Maria said as she hugged Liam tight not taking in the dour expression on his face. "It...it's Carla." He mumbled sadly. Maria let out a huff. "It would be. So what happened? She broke a nail? Split ends." Maria scoffed as Liam loosened his grip on her and pushed her away.
"She...she tried to kill herself. Is that enough for you!" He shouted as several waiting patients looked up from the waiting room. Maria looked as though she'd been slapped as Liam walked off his mind focused only on the image in his head of Carla's pretty face, her tearful eyes as he'd told her that 'He never wanted her.' He sniffed wishing he could take them back, tell her the truth that he'd always wanted her. From when Paul had first brought her home much to his parent's disapproval.
My once pleasant dreams
He tossed and turned that night in their bed, his body inches from hers and Maria frowned knowing his mind was focused on only one woman and despite his reassuring words to her in the past months she knew it was Carla whom he truly adored, Carla whom he wanted next to him. Liam meanwhile lay asleep his mind flashing images of the raven beauty whom he'd always secretly harboured a crush on.
Your voice it chased away
"Liam...I...I tried so hard to not feel anything bu...but I can't help it. I...I think I love you." Her tearful little voice had said in this same living room only hours before. Why hadn't he told her that as much as he'd tried he too was confused, scared that he felt so deeply for someone whom he'd fought with on an almost daily basis
All the sanity in meHe sighed as the television made little sense his eyes focused on a picture of his family. How could he be the one to decide her fate, the one to chose whether he should simply let her slip away or potentially condemn her to a life of dependency, pain. Tony wouldn't stay if she was no longer the vibrant, sultry woman she had been and who would she have? Maria wouldn't want him to take responsibility for her if she were brain damaged or disabled and there was no one else who'd take charge. He rubbed his temple hating that it was down to his decision.
These wounds won't seem to heal
"Mr Connor, overnight she arrested twice. The signs do not look hopeful. As we said before it's up to you but it may be kinder to let her go." The doctor explained sadly as Michelle sobbed into Steve's arms. Liam nodded knowing the doctor was right, it wasn't fair on Carla to keep her like a statue, just for his own benefit. Tony stiffened but his strong resolve was let down by the sorrowful expression on his face. Ryan stood ashen-faced as he comprehended the words. He shook slightly before Michelle drew him into her arms for once he didn't complain as she fussed over him. Liam rubbed his eyes not realizing he was crying until his skin touched the falling tears. "You can go in and talk to her before we turn off the life support." The doctor said as Michelle's sobs grew louder. Sure she and Carla hadn't always got on but the idea of her not at the end of the phone, not just across the road. "You go first, I...I kind of need some air." Liam said as he headed away from the room, his eyes filling with tears as he tried not to think that he wouldn't see her everyday, not argue with her over silly trivial matters.
This pain is just too real
He leaned against the brick wall of the hospital building staring up at the sky. How could she do this. His mobile beeped but he couldn't answer it, he couldn't talk to anyone right now. He just wanted to go back to last night and tell her that she was right. She usually was much to his displeasure. A couple walked past him and looked at him with pity and he hated it, hated that they would never know the gorgeous, ambitious woman whom his tears were falling for. He slammed his clenched fist against the wall in frustration.
There's just too much that time cannot eraseMichelle appeared from the room, her mascara smeared and Ryan looking at the floor not wanting them to see that he too had tears in his eyes. Steve patted his shoulder supportively as Tony gave him a sad smile. He'd said his own goodbyes to her and couldn't imagine how hard it must be for someone who'd known her practically their whole life. "I...I...I don't think I can do this." Liam said as he reached the door. Michelle nodded knowing that perhaps there was more to this than just a brother and sister-in-law side. "Liam yo...you don...don't have to bu...but I regret not been able to say goodbye to Paul befo...before..." She trailed off as she cried into Steve's shirt. Liam nodded and took a deep breath before entering the room. She lay still on the prestine white sheets, her raven hair had dried in a mess of waves and Liam took a seat capturing her hand in his. "Car...Car I...I know you...you probab...probably can't hear me bu...but you were right. I do love you...so much hun. Why...why did you do something so...so stupid to make me realise? I don...don't want you to leave me. None of us do." He sat glancing at her hoping against hope that by some miracle she'd pull through. "I...I just don't know what to do Car..." He sighed as he leant over the bed and kissed her gently. The nurse looked across at him as he nodded softly signaling for her to turn off the equipment. No words were needed as he simply sat by her side his hand stroking her smaller one as the beeps faded away and the dipping green line ran straight. He kissed her forehead gently before his lips once again met her still lips. "I...I'll miss you." He whispered softly as he finally let his hand let hers and he stood giving her one last smile before heading to the comfort of his family.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I'd love to walk away and pull myself out of the rain
But I can't leave without you
I'd love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you
Maria sighed as she watched him meticulously plan every final detail of her funeral. "Why we bothering flying her to Ireland, it's hardly like she and Paul were a match made in heaven." Maria said as Ozzy sat wining at Liam's feet. "She hates the dark, and small spaces. It sounds mad but I don't want her to be scared so...so she can be with Paul." Liam said sadly as he wrote down some songs that he knew she had loved. Maria sighed, she was still playing second fiddle even now. "You do know my doctor says I shouldn't be flying at the moment."
"Don't come then, hell it's not like either of you liked one another." Liam snapped as he looked up as the mail came through the letter box. Maria went to collect it and handed him a letter. His eye widened as he recognized her handwriting. His hands shook as he opened the envelope and slid out the letter. There it was in her eloquent handwriting how she couldn't feasibly live without him in her life. That the idea was too hard to comprehend. He felt tears sting the back of his eyes once again as Maria looked at him oddly. "What is it?" She asked softly. Liam shook his head. "Her goodbye." He said softly as he headed into the back yard to fully read her words without having Maria glare at him whilst he did so.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
