Um...this is my first fan fiction...enjoy! i will try to write more, so you will actually get into the story, instead of reading this boring prologue...well, toodles!

PROLOGUE

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Kana Sohma!"

Those were the first words I ever heard from her. Then, those words meant nothing to me; she was just another person in my life, just another assistant that was maybe too happy for her own good. The only thing I knew about her then was her soft voice and her shoulder-length blondish hair pinned back with a shiny barrette. I was too cold for girls then, so I just figured she'd be like anyone else I hung out with – polite, but inside desperately watching the clock turn unusually slowly from minute to minute, smiling all the same.

Kana bowed deeply to me, arising as she spoke clearly, "I will do my best to assist you! You know…it's strange we're part of the same family, yet we haven't spoken before today." She was speaking very fast and cheerfully, and it would have been a lot more interesting if I had known our future. Then again, I probably would have fired her right there if I had known. "Hatori-san, everyone thinks you're so handsome, you're popular even 'outside'."

Instead of replying, I got right to the part about why she was there. "I know it's sudden, but I have a job for you…"

"Ah! It's snowing! I knew it was going to snow!" Her sudden interruption annoyed me a bit then, but I quickly got over it. She just stared out the large window, happy as ever. As she watched the snow fall, I could almost hear her mind click as she was struck with sudden remembrance. "Oh yeah! May I ask you a question?" My awkward silence that followed encouraged her to ask, "When snow melts, what does it become?"

When snow melts? What kind of question is that? Is she making fun of me? Back then, I obviously had no talent for consideration, because I replied, "It becomes water, of course."

"Wrong! It becomes Spring!"

I just stared at her in complete disbelief. How could someone be so happy and excited about everything all the time? How could someone take something as cold and dreadful as snow and turn it into something as bright and colorful as the flowery blossoms of Spring?

They say that being with another person can make you feel so much more alive. I realized then what people those meant. To me…she was Spring. Beautiful, flowery, softhearted Spring. It was as if while imprisoned inside the dark cage of inner family, I had completely frozen into snow, and there she was. Fresh, clear Spring.

Kana and I started spending a lot of time with each other. She remained optimistic no matter what we did, which stumped me, because she must have gotten bored sometime. It was almost inevitable that I would fall in love with her. But it was also inevitable that she would find out.

My face inched closer to her every second, drowning my doubts like a sea horse out of water. It will be all right, I thought. I just won't let her hug me. My secret will be safe, there are no worries. But out lips pressed together, I felt her arms touch my chest, and then entwine themselves around my neck. There was nothing I could do to stop it, though. The room was empty, there was no floor; only clouds and Spring.

I heard her scream as my body shrank from over six feet to the height of eight centimeters. I couldn't blame her; it wasn't exactly normal for a man to suddenly morph into a sea horse.

There was nothing I could do but lay there and listen to her scream in panic until I changed back into a human, which would probably scar her for life, because of my lack of clothing. That's how useless my animal was; it couldn't walk, move, or breathe unless it was safely in the ocean. At least, being human, I could breathe out of water in that form.

Kana grabbed me and threw me into the bathtub. I soon transformed back into my human self, and luckily, the curtain was drawn, and I was able to have Kana get me my clothes so I could change. I knew she would definitely want a clear explanation, and I also knew then that that day would be a difficult one.

In the living room, Kana sat in her armchair, appearing more patient than ever, which, under the given circumstances, I knew was impossible. I stood there, sopping wet, silently waiting for her to see me and snap. I knew we could never be together, all because of my stupid form.

But when she looked at me, smiling her usual smile, I felt, inside my heart, a stroke of hope. Had she forgiven me? Was there a chance at all that my curse hadn't completely scarred her mind? I sat down in disbelief as she rushed over to dry me off with the towel she held in her lap.

"Kana," I whispered. "Kana, I owe you an explanation."

Kana rubbed the towel through my wet hair. "Oh, Hatori, you really scared me back there!" She smiled.

How could she? How could she smile everyday, and just be happy? How could she be so care-free when all the seriousness of the world stared her right in the face? This was impossible. Perhaps that was why I loved her so much. Maybe the reason I needed her with every fiber of my being was because she was my teacher. I was cold ice and she was the loosened bands of Spring, calling, "Hatori! Hatori, come with me, and together, we'll learn to love life more than anything else!"

"Kana," I repeated. More than anything, I wanted her to understand, to accept me for who I was, even if I was possessed by a vengeful spirit. "Kana, please listen to me. Few people know, but there is a terrible Sohma family curse. It doesn't involve you, don't worry. Ayame, Shigure, Yuki, Isuzu, Kisa, Hiro, Kureno, Ritsu, Kagura, Hatsuharu, Momiji, and I are possessed by the twelve zodiac animals. Kyo is possessed by the cat. I am possessed by the dragon, but for some reason, when I transform, I am a seahorse. Anyway, when the twelve members of the zodiac or the cat's body gets weak, or we are hugged by a member of the opposite gender, we transform into our animal selves. It's the curse of the zodiac. I know this is painful for you to understand, but you must believe me."

Kana stopped trying to dry my hair and stared deep into my eyes. "How could I not believe you after that shocking transformation? I love you." She paused. "And…Akito?"

"Akito bears the full weight of the curse. He is the closest thing we have to a God."

Kana seemed a bit frightened, so I shifted the conversation a little. "You know, it's a little late now, but if you threw a real seahorse into a bathtub, it would probably die."

Her smile came back a little, and I knew I had succeeded. She went back to drying my hair when she said, "You think so…? Sorry. I panicked. I did the first thing that came to me." She laughed a little, but her serious voice came back when she said, "It all makes sense now. I was wondering why you would never hold me. I understand. You must have been scared. You didn't want anyone to know your secret. Especially if…it was someone you loved. But…there's no need to be scared anymore. Don't push me away. I'm…happy I met you, Hatori." She paused for a moment, touching my face. "I'm happy that…I fell in love with you. I want to be near you."

The tears that splattered onto my lap then were not tears of sadness, but tears of gentle relief. It was the first time in my life that I felt forgiven. Like I was saved. Like the frozen snow that's melted by the breath of Spring, the tears wouldn't stop.

The next two months were literally like a dream. "It's as if a lifetime of happiness has been condensed into two short months!" she had said, smiling. Now that smile pierces my heart.

The end of the dream came when I went to ask Akito for his permission to marry her. The answer to my question was near blindness my left eye. Akito started yelling, and even Shigure couldn't control him. "It's your fault! Why would I give him to you?" He was screaming at Kana. "I don't need you! I don't! I don't! If Hatori goes blind, it's your fault! It's you fault! It's your fault! It's your fault! IT'S YOU FAULT…!"

After that…Kana fell ill. Her heart fell ill. No matter what I said or did, she did nothing but cry. I couldn't even blame Akito. It was the curse. I could never think Akito had anything to do with it. And so, her heart fell ill. I went to Akito for help.

"Your memory suppression skills would be helpful now, wouldn't they?" he told me. "Just erase her memories. You had no problem with the others." He leaned closer to me, never staring my straight in the eye. "What's hurting her right now is her memories of you. Her love for you. Isn't it your final duty to free her from that pain? I think she truly wants to be released. She wants to forget."

It got to the point where she couldn't even stand. When I was sure she would die from her heartache, I decided to take Akito's advice, and suppress her memories. And so, I went to her.

When I entered her room, she was crying on the floor, hardly noticing I was there. I rushed to her to try to help her up, but her body was too weak. She held onto my sleeve and struggled to speak. "Hatori-san…Hatori, I…I think…I think it would have been…have been better if…if we'd never met…it would have been better…if we'd never met…"

I reflected on Akito's words. She wants to forget. Was this my retribution? My deserved punishment? She wants to forget. After all this time, could someone love someone so strongly, that they would just snap?

Even though it hurt people, and made them cry, if it was an order, I would peel away people's memories, without remorse. Was that my punishment? I never thought I'd have to erase with my own hands the memories of the person most important to me…the memories most important to me.

As she held my arm, I knelt beside her, and placed my hand over her forehead. She stumbled for words. "…ry…I couldn't…pro…tect…you…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." I could feel the tears in the sweat of my palm. "I'm so sorry! Hatori…" Her memories were getting difficult to suppress. I could feel my own eyes leaking slowly. "I'm…happy I met you, Hatori."

Her memories were gone. Well, not gone, exactly, just buried. I couldn't stand to bury them very deep, though, so it was best I kept myself out of her sight from now on. She might have flashbacks. Kana lay asleep on the floor, almost smiling as she breathed. I just stood there, the only man with the knowledge that what was once could never be.

I'm so sorry! No, Kana, I'm the one who should apologize. I'm the one who couldn't protect you. But despite that, you thought of me until the very end. If that is the depth of her love…if that was why she became so sick…then it wasn't right for her to suffer. Thank you, Kana. It's all right now. There's nothing there to hurt anymore. Oh, God…please let her find someone who can make her happy. I pray. Even if I die surrounded by snow that never melts…I don't care. Please…

Please…