Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans to my displeasure.
She can feel the pulse of the darkness in her veins. It flows out through her beating heart through out her body. Normally it doesn't hurt this much. Usually it is just a daily ache dulled by mediation. Today is a different story. Today she used more of her darkness than ever before. And today she did something really bad. Really bad. Worse than the apocalypse bad.
She can remember the alarm ringing through out the tower. Speeding to the crime, to catch the bad guys, to get pizza afterwards, to save the day. Normal day. But today, today Raven saved Robin from falling. She knows this is purely teammate-teammate conduct but some how all the literature she has dissected comes back to dissected her emotions. She can remember how Starfire face turned to complete horror when she was trapped by Gizmo's claws so she was unable to save the Boy Wonder. How the boy in question was completely calm like he has fallen off an 80 story building to his death before. To his credit he probably has. And that really ticks her off. She can feel her powers just wanting to break something for his irreversible idiocy.
It is not the saving of the fellow bird that truly bothers her it is the way she felt during and after the incident. Raven can remember feeling shock that Robin wasn't throwing a grappling hook. She can feel complete calm when she reaches out her shadow tentacles and entraps Robin into herself. She remembers feeling so desperate to keep him from falling that when the black reels itself back into her body he comes along with it.
And that is what threw her emotions of a cliff. A very steep cliff in which they wouldn't recover. A cliff with sharp, deadly thorns at the bottom to stab her heart with. To torture her. As if being the daughter of a demon wasn't enough. When Robin finally slams into her body and they both tumble into a mix of traffic light colors and midnight darkness on the roof of a building she feels relief. The ice queen façade is done and she whispers quietly that she is sorry. Stands up and flies away as a giant shadow bird.
Knowing the team is safe, she flies away. Avoids her problems. Buries them into the treasure chest of rotten jewels in her memorizes. She avoids and tries to forget. But the feel of his breath on her cheek is enough to make her blush.
Raven is ashamed to admit she has a crush. A crush that by her literally saving from falling metaphorically meant she didn't want him to fall. She knows she hates that Robin fell because he had to stop Jinx from breaking Star's arm. Raven hates that she doesn't want two of her teammates to have happiness together. She can't listen to the darkness dwelling in the depths of her soul because it's whispering for her to do deceitful things to the boy. The dark whisper calls for her to make Robin beg for mercy as she unleashes her fear for him. She wants to make his skin crawl the way hers did when she knew he couldn't save himself. She wants to make him understand that she cannot lose him. Most of all she wants deep down inside the ice around her passionate heart she wants to make sure he is alright. Her powers also wish great bodily and mental harm to the beautiful alien friend. And that is why she is up on the windy roof because she hates herself for being split into too many different directions that her powers are crackling in the air and the pebbles that are floating are being crushed. She hates the way the magic wants her to take hold of Robin and makes sure every last part of him is 100 percent because she can't. Now that she has had a sort of taste of the boy with her powers, the magic selfishly wants to claim the boy as its own. And the annoying part is she couldn't agree more. The demon inside of her wants to rip the Boy Blunder away from the dazzling princess. She is the evil witch inside the fairytale. This kills her and makes her stay out in the rain trying to wash away her feelings.