I don't own the Black Magician Trilogy – the brilliant Trudi Canavan does…

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MOVING ON

Pregnant...
Pregnant!
She was pregnant.
Sonea was having a child.
Akkarin's child.
Dorrien stared at the door through which his father, Lord Rothen, had just left the room. When Rothen had come to meet him in his rooms one hour earlier he had seemed confused, but nonetheless quite happy about something and Dorrien had assumed this was because at moments his father still couldn't believe that he really had been made Head of Alchemistic Studies. But this wasn't what had stired the older magician's emotions this time.
Nothing could have prepared Dorrien for what Rothen had to tell him.
Sonea, his little Sonea.
No... not really his.
Though he was pretty sure he had been the first man to ever kiss her, she hadn't really been his right from the beginning.
He thought back to the few weeks they had spent together, when he had first visited Imardin after she had joined the Guild. Probably the most wonderful and careless weeks he had ever had. He hadn't been a very popular novice, so the time at University hadn't been fun, and after his graduation he had left immediately to work as Healer. Which he loved and which gave him a lot of satisfaction. But it wasn't really fun either. But the weeks with Sonea... they had been fun.
As Dorrien recalled how he had taught her to levitate a small smile tugged on his lips and a mischivious twinkle crept into his blue eyes. He left his chair to walk over to the window and looked out onto the forest. A bird caught his eye and he followed its flight until the bird vanished in the dark shadows of some tree.
The forest... the spring. Dorrien sighed as his memories reached the last moment of his happy time with Sonea. The kiss at the spring.
Somehow he had hoped, someday, when her grief over loosing Akkarin was over, or at least bearable and not omnipresent anymore, that they'd find their way back together - after all, there had been more than simple affection between them... but now... with a child...
But he had to admit somewhere deep inside he had known that her love for Akkarin had been much more than she had ever felt for him, and this child was the proof for it. It only brought to his eyes what he had feared already. Feared since the day he had found Sonea and Akkarin near his village.
He pushed the picture out of his mind. It wasn't fair or useful to think about what might have been if...
Sonea had made her choice. He had accepted it. And she needed his support. Losing her love and raising a child on her own. After all that she had already gone through...
What she didn't need was a lovesick admirer hanging on every word she said and trying to read some affection for her in them. Somehow he had to move on.
He watched a group of novices go by, clearly enjoying the first warm rays of sunshine on this day. One of the girls noticed him watching and pointed him out to the others, and before Dorrien could look away he found them all turning his way and giggling. Well all except one - one girl with long dark red hair, walking in the middle of the girls just looked his way in a nice, mature way. When she realised that Dorrien had caught her watching she smiled at the young Healer. A simple, nice smile. He blushed, smiling back. Then looked quickely down at his hands.
When he was sure the girls were out of sight, he pushed himself off the wall and left his room.
It really was time to forget about Sonea. In a romantic way at least. He'd always remember her as the first girl he fell in love with. The first girl he had kissed... and he'd always be there for her and her child. But he knew she wouldn't approve if he spent the rest of his life waiting for her to... yes, to what? She'd never love again the way she loved Akkarin and... he deserved to be loved fully. That's what she'd say to him, too.
When Dorrien had reached the gardens he squinted as the sun hit his eyes with full force. As soon as he had them aquainted to the light he looked around and found the group of girls he had seen before on a bench nearby.
Slowly strolling by he allowed himself several sideway glances at the pretty girl who had smiled at him. Obviously there seemed to exist nice girls beside Sonea. He just had to see them and give them a chance.
He took a deep breath and walked on, content with himself, his work and his life in general. Perhaps moving on wouldn't be as hard or painful as he expected it to be.