When the door opened to reveal Kaidan, she reached for her gun automatically. Brown eyes widened in surprise at her reaction before narrowing in anger, and he hit her pistol with a biotic pull, catching it easily in his long fingers.
"Why are you here?" Her voice came out breathless and confused. She was tense, ready for a fight.
He raised an eyebrow. "We need to talk, Shepard."
"What about?"
"The fact that you keep pulling guns on me, to start with."
She shifted nervously, glancing back at the door. It had slid shut but was still unlocked. She could just run away.
"You pointed a gun at me, too," she said softly, trying to slowly turn without him noticing. His anger was thick in the air, making her feel claustrophobic.
He closed the gap between them easily, and she inhaled his woody scent. "Are you afraid of me, Shepard?" His voice was quiet, dangerous.
She didn't reply. He cupped her cheek firmly, his fingers cool against her flushed skin. Her stomach flipped at his touch. He turned her face, forcing her to make eye contact with him. His expression was intense. She shivered.
"I need to know you're not afraid of me." The words were quiet. Beneath his anger, grief lingered.
"I... No. I'm not." She wanted to look away. She could feel her heartbeat thrumming painfully in her throat.
"Would you have shot me?" His other hand touched her face, keeping her still. She felt vulnerable and exposed as he stared hungrily down at her.
She remembered the adrenaline rushing through her as they had sighted down their guns at each other. He hadn't been Kaidan Alenko, former crewmate and lover. He had been another enemy in a long line. Hadn't he?
"What if I say yes?" she asked, swallowing.
He exhaled, and his hot breath tickled her breath. For a moment, he didn't say anything. She wasn't sure how he was going to react. His left hand trailed gently down her face to slide around the back of her neck. His grip was soft, but she could feel the power beneath it. His calloused fingers made her shiver involuntarily and she knew there was only one way this could end.
His mouth came down, very close to her ear, and the faintest stubble rubbed against her face as he repeated the question quietly in her ear. "Would you have shot me?"
She couldn't think with him so close. "I… I don't know," she stuttered honestly.
He turned her face and kissed her. For a moment, the years fell away; his lips were gentle, tender. She gave in at once, forgetting her nerves. The hand at the base of her neck knotted in her dark hair, tugging her head back almost uncomfortably as he deepened the kiss. He had never been rough with her before. She was shocked and excited by it, moaning into his mouth.
She felt his chuckle against her lips, tasted it in her mouth. The hand on her face travelled down her neck, trailed the edge of her breast, and came to rest at the base of her spine, tugging her close so that she could feel his arousal.
"Kaidan-" She tried to pull away. This wasn't a good idea. Anyone could walk in on them. They had a lot to talk about before this happened. Her body disagreed entirely, and she wanted nothing more than to have him here.
"Don't 'Kaidan' me." He pushed her up against the door, trapping her wrists above her head with one hand. His other hand found the bottom edge of her t-shirt and worked its way beneath. She gasped at the touch.
His fingers stopped at the edge of her bra, trailing teasing lines beneath it. She gasped, closing her eyes, desperate.
"If you want me to stop, I will," he said, the words low against her ear. She looked into his brown eyes. He was sincere. He always was.
"I trust you." She arched her back. "Please…"
He gave that smoky chuckle again and dipped his fingers into her bra, finding her nipple already pebbled against them. He pinched it, making her moan. He released her wrists and began tugging at her trousers. When they were loose, he lifted her out of them.
She was very aware that she was standing in front of him in her shirt and boots. Again, she felt exposed and vulnerable, but also very aroused. He stepped back from her for a second, his eyes devouring her, and she realised that he had never had the upper hand like this in their relationship before. It suited him. He looked cold, almost cruel, as he opened his trousers and stepped back towards her.
His rough fingers found her very wet as they stroked around her entrance before he lifted her legs easily around his waist and slid himself into her. She dug her fingers into his shoulders and cried out. He fucked her mercilessly against the door, and it was almost painful.
She could feel his anger at her. He grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged her head back, biting her neck.
"Fuck." She ground the word out, and in response he growled her name.
His fingers began to caress her swollen clit, and the combination of him filling her and touching her was too much. She let out a strangled scream and felt herself getting close.
"Beg me." The words against her ear startled her.
"I-"
"I want you to beg, Shepard." He wasn't joking. His fingers stopped moving.
She bit her lip. "Please, Kaidan."
"Good girl." Her stomach jolted at being called that and as he began to touch her again, she went over the edge, her body shuddering. Kaidan covered her mouth with his hand roughly to stifle her screams as he reached climax too.
The next few moments were in a pleasant haze. Shepard found herself being tugged gently onto the floor and held in strong arms against a firm chest. She became aware of Kaidan speaking gently into her hair.
"I love you," he was saying, "I love you. I'm sorry."
She looked up at him. "I love you. Don't be sorry." With trembling fingers, she touched his cheek.
"Are we good, Commander?" he asked, frowning slightly.
"We're good, Major."