A/N: I got bored, then I saw Umbridge dangling from the roof in my head, and...yeah. This story sort of mutated out of that one image. All my stories seem to be too heavy, so this will just be a lighthearted, no consequences AU. Assume that some quirk of magic killed Voldemort over the summer, but Dumbledore doesn't know that. Voldemort is not a big part of this story, though I reserve the right to retcon that statement at any time for the purposes of humour. The prompt/idea the chapter is based around will be at the end of the chapter, and I don't own anything from this franchise. Have fun!
"What's everyone standing around for?"
"Dunno, but they're blocking the way to the food."
"Oh, honestly, Ronald, is food all you ever think about?"
"No, Hermione, he thinks about other things sometimes."
"Oh, of course, how could I forget about Quidditch and chess, Harry."
The Golden Trio, as they were referred to by the students, were once again arguing. To be fair to them, they didn't have much else to do, since the Ministry of Magic had sacked Dumbledore and were currently trying to catch him so they could arrest him for treason, leaving an odious, toad-like woman by the name of Dolores Umbridge in charge of the school. Umbridge had, from day one, made it clear that she hated anyone who didn't believe the sun rose and set purely because Cornelius Fudge willed it to do so. Which basically meant the entire school, since nearly everyone, even some of the Slytherins, agreed that Fudge was the most incompetent man they had ever met.
Harry had heard more jokes about Fudge this year than in any previous year, purely based around the fact that Britain's government had started to go to hell the minute Fudge stopped taking Dumbledore's advice. But the waves of laughter emanating from the Great Hall, combined with the fact that even mild-mannered Professor Sprout was having a hard time keeping a straight face, convinced Harry that whatever was in that room was more important than his argument with his friends. Squeezing his way through the crowd, Harry finally made it to the entrance of the Great Hall, and immediately cracked up laughing. On either side of him, Ron and Hermione were doing the same.
Suspended from the roof of the Great Hall, in a black and grey Santa suit, was the new Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, who was currently waving her stubby arms frantically in an attempt to get down. She had been suspended from the ceiling by a harness that forced her wrists and ankles together, and a ball gag had been shoved into her mouth to keep her from calling for help. A sign placed aound her neck read; 'I've been a bad girl.'
Harry couldn't move or speak for laughter, but he wasn't the only one. This prank - whoever had pulled it this time - had the potential to beat even the one from last week involving trout, waffles, and partial human transfiguration. Or even the one from when Umbridge was announced as the new Headmistress on September 1st.
Minerva McGonagall chose that exact moment to walk into the hall, took one look at the Headmistress, and quirked an eyebrow, before turning away and herding the students out of the hall. The last thing she said before leaving was;
"Really, Dolores, if you must do that, at least do it where the children can't see."
A/N: So, it's probably kind of short at the moment. But hopefully it was funny. Please review, and thanks for reading!