Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI:NY, they are property of Anthony E. Zuiker and CBS. I also don't own DDR, XBox or HALO. I also have no claim on "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" "Dance Dance" or "Centerfold"- but they're my favorite DDR songs.
Story Idea Credit: iluvcsi4ever, who suggested Call of Duty, but I don't know much about Xbox games, but I DO know a little about DDR.
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"Dance, dance, we're fallin' apart..."
Danny Messer heard a voice belting off key from the morgue as he went down to get some autopsy results. He knew that Marty Pino was on tonight, which was good. Marty kept life...uh, interesting, would be a good word. Marty had gotten him in so much trouble over the past few months. You'd think Danny would've learned by now that there was no such thing as a boring night shift, especially when Marty Pino was the ME on call. Even Lindsay was getting sick of Danny working nights, but Mac Taylor hoped that one night his top CSIs would get wise and quit screwing around while on duty.
But when Danny got to the morgue, he realized that he was going to have to screw around this shift when he saw what Marty was singing along to.
"Marty!" he yelled over the music. "What the hell is that?"
Marty turned, out of breath. He was beet red and breathing like he'd just ran a marathon. Behind him, a little robot who vaguely resembled a plug-in was grooving to Fall Out Boy on the flat screen monitor behind the autopsy table. "Hey! Messer!" He turned back to the screen. A big "F" flashed across the screen. "Damn!" He turned back to Danny. "I had a hundred point combo, too!"
"You brought your freakin' XBox to work? You're a sick man. You must love workin' the night shift, huh?" Danny couldn't help but roll his eyes. Marty was gonna get in soo much trouble...and by the end of the night, he was undoubtedly gonna bring Danny down with him.
"No, actually, I hate the damn night shift, which is why I brought the XBox," Marty replied. "I'm bored outta my skull down here. At least you all upstairs get a little bit o' human contact. All I got is Fried Frank over there. By the way, your COD on Franky over there was the third degree burns. Maybe smoke inhalation."
"You don't know?"
"No, I got halfway through the autopsy, got bored, and decided I needed to wake up," he replied. At Danny's shocked look, he said, "Don't give me that. Frank over there is dead, he's not goin' anywhere. I'll play my three rounds, I'll be awake, and I can finish your autopsy then."
"There's somethin' highly unethical about this, Pino," Danny said.
"Says the man who's played I Never and Hide and Seek on duty," Marty pointed out.
"Good point. Well, you finish your game, I'm goin' back upstairs. You're not draggin' me into this game," Danny said. He got halfway to the door.
"Come on, Messer. One round."
"No." God, I shouldn't. I don't dance. I'd look ridiculous. Mac would fire my ass. I don't dance... He turned. "Fine. One game."
Marty grinned. "That's what I'm talkin' about. All right. You pick the song."
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It had been a half hour, and Lindsay Monroe and Adam Ross both knew that it did not take a half hour to get from the lab to the morgue and back. "Football season is over, right?" Adam asked Lindsay. "What could they possibly be doin' down there?"
"Well, it's either a really interesting COD...or..." Lindsay had a thought. "Come on. Let's go."
"Go where?"
"Down to see what they're doing," Lindsay said. She got halfway out of Reconstruction before she noticed Adam wasn't behind her. She turned around. "Adam?"
"No. No way. I refuse to get on Mac's bad side because you all seem to enjoy working the graveyard shift so much."
"Adam, we're caught up. It's been a slow week. Besides, Mac is in Las Vegas for a conference and he won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. If anything does go on, there's no way he can catch us this time. Even Stella and Flack are gone. We're in the clear," Lindsay pressed. "I'm going. You can stay up here. In fact, it's a good idea. That way, if Mac calls, you can tell him we're all working like good little CSIs, and maybe he'll give us a break." With that, Lindsay disappeared into the elevator.
Adam returned to the pig carcass on the table. He tapped his foot. He sighed. Then, he turned around, headed down the hall, and pressed the elevator button. The door slid open.
Lindsay was grinning at him. "I knew you'd change your mind."
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"Girls just wanna have fun..."
That sounds strangely like Cyndi Lauper, Lindsay noted as she got off the elevator. It also sounded a little bit like an off key male voice singing along. She made her way down the hall. She could hear hard footfalls on the tile floor of the morgue.
"That's all they really waaaannnt..."
Lindsay's head turned sharply to the side. Adam looked back at her. "What?" he shrugged. She only shook her head as he continued to hum along. Lindsay pushed open the door-
"Oh, hell no!" Marty Pino's voice echoed off the walls. "Shut up, you did not just miss that combo!"
"Bite me, the song's like 150 beats a minute!"
"Messer, that's slow! Lemme show you how it's done!"
Lindsay couldn't help it. She burst out laughing.
Danny and Marty both turned around. "Montana!" Danny gasped. Cyndi Lauper was still crooning in the background. There was a clang of metal, and an "F" crossed the screen. "What?!"
"That's two F's, Messer, I win!" Marty crowed.
"That doesn't count!" Danny said. "I got distracted!"
"DDR?" Lindsay said. "You all gotta be kiddin' me. Marty, are you insane?"
He only shrugged. "You want to play?"
"Are you kidding?" Lindsay demanded. "Hell yes! Put it on Dance Dance," she said. "And change the setting to Expert."
Marty's jaw dropped. "Are you insane?" he shot back. "That's like the hardest song on here! It's like 260 beats a minute or somethin'!"
She shook her head as she put her hair back in a ponytail. "Just play the song, Marty," she said.
"Oookay," Marty said, giving up the argument. He changed the settings and hit select. The video came on. Danny watched Lindsay's face change into a determined focus. The arrows started coming, fast and furious. Steps that Danny couldn't have managed in his wildest dreams. And yet Lindsay was nailing every single one. She hadn't got anything below a "Perfect" yet.
"Holy hell," Marty said approvingly. "That girl thinks she can dance!"
Danny had to smile. He was impressed that she could move like that. He filed it away for future reference.
Lindsay still hadn't missed an arrow. The song was half over. She nailed combo after combo. Her score was well above any of the highest scores Marty had set. The song drew to a close. Lindsay hit the last combo in triumph and turned around. She'd barely broken a sweat and she wasn't even breathing hard. "Can you count that high, Marty? I think I just killed your high score."
Marty whistled approvingly. "Damn, Messer, your girl can dance!"
Lindsay turned to Danny.
Danny looked at Adam. "You want next?" he asked hastily.
"Is there something slow?"
Danny grinned. "I got the perfect song."
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"My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold, my angel is a centerfold..."
Danny, Lindsay and Marty were laughing it up. Video gamer Adam had four or five left feet. This was their fifth time through "Centerfold," and Adam had yet to get anything higher than a "D" score. Adam was getting more and more frustrated by the minute. "Na na nananana," Danny sang along. He grabbed Lindsay's arms and rocked her back and forth. "My angel is a centerfold..." he sang, horribly off key.
Adam stopped, turned. "Dude, you're throwing me off!" he accused.
"'Dude'," Danny replied, "you're already off. You do know you're supposed to hit the arrows, don't you?"
"Shut up," Adam replied. The menu came up. "Again," he commanded Marty.
"Knock yourself out, Lab Rat," Marty replied. He quickly made his selections.
"Wait!" Adam said. "Hold up!"
"What?" Marty asked innocently.
Adam returned to the menu screen. "You guys have been setting it on 'Advanced'!" he accused.
The other three burst out laughing. They'd wondered how long Adam was going to believe the lie that Centerfold started out automatically with all those steps. Adam changed the settings back to Beginner and hit Start again.
Nobody heard the door open behind them. Nobody heard the steps across the tile floor. Nobody knew anything until a stern voice asked, "Who's got the highest combo?"
Adam jumped off the mat. Marty gulped. And Lindsay and Danny turned guiltily to their boss. "Mac. You're back early," Lindsay stammered.
Behind Adam, the giant "F" filled the screen. FAILED.
"Dance Dance Revolution?" Mac Taylor asked them. "Whose idea was this one?"
Nobody said a word.
"Adam, did you win one?"
"N-not yet," Adam stammered. Fired. I'm so fired. I'm dead. He's gonna kill me and let Sid do the autopsy...oh God!
"I see. You're neglecting your duties upstairs and down here, and you haven't even gotten higher than an F?" Mac asked.
"H-He got a D," Danny said.
Mac glared at him.
"Shutting up," Danny said.
"What else do you have for the XBox, Marty?" Mac asked the ME.
Marty looked like he was about to pass out. "Uh...I only brought DDR and HALO, sir," he replied.
"I see." Mac looked at everybody. "And who is up?"
"Adam has another round, sir," Danny said.
"I'll be forfeiting my turn," Adam said quickly. He dashed past Mac and up the stairs.
Lindsay and Danny looked at each other. "We've got some stuff to do in Reconstruction," Lindsay said, grabbing Danny's hand and disappearing.
That left Marty staring down Mac. "I...ah...I've got a COD to find for Danny," he said. "I'll get on that."
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Three hours later, Adam, Lindsay and Danny were off duty. It was four a.m. Marty was still working on COD for Danny's body. God, I need a drink. He disappeared to the vending machines down the hall.
The door to the morgue opened. Someone came in, looked at the body on the table. Their eyes turned to the flat screen. They flicked on the Xbox and fired up HALO. They were in the midst of choosing characters when Marty came back in.
"What the hell?" he demanded. "Who's screwin' with my stuff?"
Mac Taylor turned around. "Marty," he acknowledged. He gestured to the screen. "You want next game?"
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Like it, love it, hate it? Got a suggestion for a CLEAN game to make a boring night shift go faster? Drop me a review!