Looking Through the Minds Eye

Purpose

By: blues-lover

A/N: This came to me last night I was really tired and I was looking over some vocab words and then I'm like hey I have a fic idea!

Quiet. Deafening quiet. I'm alone, alone in my mind. No ones here for me. There was one, along time ago. A boy with hair of two colors, I was his dog. At least that's what some would say. I was created to serve and comfort him. I must have failed at my job for I am no longer with that boy. I am here, in my mind.

For much time I have wandered the vast reaches of this cyber world, severing a new master. I have one goal; destroy the ones who stand in master's way. Am I supposed to have a purpose? Have I ever had a purpose? A cold one, my life has been. No love, compassion, feeling of content. Emptiness.

A goal is not a purpose as I have come to realize. Purpose is not decided by ones self. Only by fate, can purpose be determined. Does fate take the time to give purpose to a navi? Even if it is possible why would fate give purpose to a soul as tainted as mine? Is it worth living with out purpose? The boy I had once called my master, does he care that I'm gone? If so then is it my purpose to bring him sorrow and regret. If that is my purpose I don't wish to continue living this hollow shell of a life.

My mind is playing tricks on me. I know what I must do. Why should I complain about the hand I've been dealt? Many others have received much worse. But still the boy, why must I bring him pain? My orders are absolute but why him? I can't keep doing this to him or my self. I'd end it now but am I to much of a coward to use this blade that is programmed on my hand. Some one, anyone, give me strength to end the suffering of those I have plagued. Wait, If I leave won't that bring glee to the hearts of the ones who hate me. Why should they pleasure in my demise?

Confusion, a straight pattern of thought is all I ask for. Why won't anything make sense? Even now every thought I have had I could not retrace over accurately. A blur, everything seems mixed in. I was right before. So what if my enemies will ring there hands at glee at my down fall. At least I will be gone.

Wait, is there any way for me to return to my less hectic way of life, the life with the boy? If there is away maybe I shall live on. That life was a sad one but a livable one.

Break In Thought

"Blues, is it really you?"

I looked up, only to see a pair of beautiful azure eyes staring down at me. I examined my surroundings. I was in the networking of IPC. My subconscious mind must have sent me here. I looked up once again at the boy with the beautiful eyes and tried to speak but couldn't. "What happened, why are you here," the boy asked after giving me a thorough look over.

Flashback

"The darkness will consume you," Laserman shouted in a gay yet tainted way.

"No I can't" I shouted.

"You will be over powered," Laserman continued to say.

At that point something with in the walls of my soul broke. I could feel a cold oozing feeling seeping through my body. It felt disgusting. I fled out of sheer panic, breaking the connection between me and the power source. Laserman shouted after me telling me to return. But in my blind fit of panic my body ran ramped well my thoughts jumbled out in piercing cries.

End Flashback

I shuttered violently at the memory. My body felt cold like ice. I could feel the sapphire eyes of the boy bearing into me with concern. That only increased the unearthly cold feeling that was going through me. I feel to my knees and clutching my sides, trying to warm my self. "Blues!" the boy cried.

"Enzan-sama," I managed to whisper through clenched teeth, "I feel so cold."

Tears welled in Enzan's eyes as he stared down at me in horror, "Blues, what's happening to you?"

"The dark power, I can't control it," I hissed.

"No! This is my entire fault if I hadn't used that dark chip," Enzan said franticly.

"Don't blame your self Enzan-sama; if I had been stronger I could have fought the darkness with in my self. Now I will become a demon," I uttered bitterly. I looked into the eyes of my former operator. Tears flowed freely from them. His beautiful eyes were clouded with misery and it was my fault.

"I can't allow my self to become that way Enzan-sama, the only way…" I paused gasping in agony. "Is for you to delete me."

"I won't I can't," was all he could say before he became too chocked up to speak.

"You have to Enzan-sama," I sputtered miserably. "If you don't do it I'll have to."

Enzan's eyes widened in shock, I smiled faintly, "When you think of me remember the way I used to be. Remember the way that I love you."

"I-I love you too Burusu," Enzan said placing his hand on the screen softly.

I brought my hand up to where his was and gave him a reassuring nod. I lifted my sword up slowly raising it to my chest. I took in a shuttering breathe and took the plunge. A burning feeling, a scream of remorse, a sorrowful tear, was all I saw through the minds eye.

A/N: Well it's an one-shot. Duh. I hope you enjoyed it. At first I really didn't know how I'd end it but I decided on a song quote and death. () no flames please.