Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D.

chapter 1

Thirteen waited under the nurses's station counter, tapping on her phone with one hand and occasionally looking through the small hole on the side of the desk to check the halls. Her neck and back was starting to feel sore from sitting in the awkward position but it had to be done. She heard someone clear their throat. Thirteen looked up and first saw a pair of soft blue eyes looking at her. Then she noticed the figure hugging purple top the blonde doctor was wearing which Thirteen wouldn't be so bothered if the woman wasn't squatting so close to her. Realising she was indeed checking the ER attending out, Thirteen looked back up again to her face and tried a smile.

"Cameron." She said suavely.

"Thirteen. What are you doing under the desk?" She asked, somewhat unsurprised but mostly amused. Although Cameron never hid in the nurses's station during her fellowship with House.

"Playing poker." Thirteen replied. Cameron peeked at the woman's phone and she was indeed playing cards on the small screen.

"Are you hiding from House?" She decided to ask.

"Nope."

"Cuddy?" She tried.

"Wrong again."

"Foreman?" Thirteen shook her head. The internist was surely not going to tell her. Cameron squinted her eyes, trying to figure out the woman's intention but failed at Thirteen's incredible poker face. Then Cameron noticed the other woman's hand was holding onto something on the floor. It looked like a piece of string.

Cameron stood up and if one was not looking for it, they would surely miss it. A thin wire was running loosely from Thirteen's hand to under the desk to the other side of the hall, tied to a makeshift scaffold.

"What about Kutner?" Cameron decided to say. Thirteen's eyes widened and immediately looked through then small opening of the counter that could see maybe a foot of the hall. She saw her target and pulled the wire.

Lawrence Kutner had been standing on a chair by the door in the diagnostics room for 20 minutes, waiting for one Remy Hadley when his pager went off to report at the ortho department in the south wing. Kutner, knowing it must be a trap as there was no reason for someone to call him to the currently renovating section came prepared with a pie in hand. House had left a dozen cream pies in the office with a 'Go crazy' note, suggesting House had gotten wind of Thirteen's romp with a certain red-head nurse.

As Taub and Foreman were in the clinic, the remaining two decided to cure their boredom. A series of pie throwings had occurred in the less trafficked areas of the hospital since that morning. Kutner was in scrubs after having changed twice. Thirteen, who has surprisingly fast reflexes, only got pied once on the shoulder which made her have to wear her lab coat to hide the stain.

Kutner crept in the empty hall cautiously with the cream pie above his head, fully prepared for a jump scare from his colleague. He could hear voices echoing softly in the halls and grinned at Thirteen's lax. As he was approaching the nurses's station, he felt his shoe getting caught up in an invisible barrier. It was happening before he could stop it. The pie slammed hard on the floor before his face went into it as well. He groaned as his chest slammed into the linoleum.

"Dr. Kutner!" He heard a voice call. "Are you okay?" Cameron had knelt next to him and was gently holding his back.

"Whereshe…" He managed to get out.

"What?"

"Where is she?" He said and coughed, pushing himself up to lie on his back. He wiped the cream off his eyes with his fingers and with the support of his elbows, looked around the room but saw no one else but Dr. Cameron. Were she and Thirteen conspiring against him? No, he thought. The older doctor would not get involved with their admittedly juvenile skirmish.

Cameron also looked up. From her slightly elevated point of view, she could see the steely eyed fox behind a wall and suppressing a laugh. Then she saw the woman press a finger to her lips, signalling her to keep quiet.

"We're the only ones here." She said, helping Kutner on his feet. When she looked at the wall once more, Thirteen was gone.

…

"There's bits of cream pie all over the hospital." Cuddy said as she crossed her arms. House had his legs on his desk, looking at something on his laptop when his employer decided to barge in.

"You increased the budget for clowns?" He asked, taking in her appearance. Her blouse was low cut as usual but definitely not boring.

"The nurses told me Kutner and Thirteen have been playing Call of Duty in the hallways. I assume it's because they don't have anything better to do."

"I'd ask Cameron to play with the little lesbian but... you know I could go so many ways with this cream pie joke." He pondered.

"Why don't you have a patient?" Cuddy demanded, exasperated.

"We just cured the last one!" He argued.

"2 days ago! Your team is getting so bored that they're throwing pie at each other." With that, Cuddy turned to leave. House was glad the lecture was over.

"Oh, and I'm punishing Thirteen and Kutner." She said, holding onto the doorframe, turning around slightly.

"Shall I break out the whip?"

"I'm volunteering them to assist the team building exercise tomorrow at Cape May."

"What? For how long?"

"3 days." House was going to yell at her for taking away members of his team but was interrupted. "If you get a case, you might get them back earlier. In the meantime, as long as they're employees of this hospital, they should make themselves useful."

"You're not punishing them, you're punishing me."

"I'm punishing all of you." She said and left with a swing in her hips. House frowned and thought about it.

They can handle a few days in the sun. House shrugged and went back to his porn.

...