Note: So, apparently a few months ago I felt like writing something with Gray and Ultear. Sue me.
Ultear's life hadn't been all roses since her failed attempt to use Last Ages. It wasn't all bad, but there were perhaps a few things that still bothered her a little, even if she didn't want to admit them to herself. She had failed, her life had been deemed worth only a single minute, she had rapidly aged into an old woman, and she hadn't seen any of her friends since. Sometimes those things chafed a little, especially that last one. Although she knew that it was her own fault that no one had been to see her. It's not like she had told anyone what had happened, and when Gray had seemed to put the pieces together, she had made it clear that she didn't want him to make a fuss. She had her reasons for keeping the others in the dark, but she still missed them.
During the first few weeks, when she hadn't quite come to terms with what had happened to her yet, she had used to play games, guessing what people were doing now. She would daydream about what dark guilds Crime Sorcière might be fighting or wonder what Fairy Tail was up to. She tried not to think too much about what Jellal and Meredy might be feeling about her disappearance though. She missed Meredy a lot and didn't want to think about how upset the younger girl might be. Occasionally, she thought of Gray and Lyon as well. She felt a strange sense of kinship with them too, if only through their shared connection with her mother.
But it had been months since the Grand Magic Games, and Ultear didn't play those kinds of games anymore. She still sometimes wondered after the others and always bought newspapers to skim for any news of what they might be up to, but although she still missed them, she had settled into her new life quite happily. Okay, so her spell had ultimately failed and she was now living in the body of an eccentric grandmother and couldn't see her friends, but she had mostly rationalized that away.
She had at least tried to help, and the devastating consequences seemed to maybe make up for some of the terrible things she had done in the past. It wasn't so much that she thought she deserved what had happened to her, but…some small part of her seemed to think that things were happily squared away now. She had gotten her punishment and done her best to help save the world, and right now that was enough. Every once in a while something or other would start bothering her again, but mostly she felt at peace. It was a feeling that she hadn't felt in a long time, and she liked it a lot.
With that peacefulness, she had built a new life from the ground up. It wasn't the most terribly exciting or adventurous life, but it was a quiet and happy one nonetheless. Over the past few months she had managed to mostly push aside the remnants of her old life and embrace her new one instead. She didn't have much tying her to her previous life now, except for the people that she could no longer even see. But the bitterness over that had long since faded, and she had accepted the separation of her old and new lives with surprisingly good humor.
Until one day, when there was an unexpected knock at her door.
Ultear had been reclining in a plush armchair in the little cottage she lived in at the edge of the city, skimming over the daily newspaper as she slowly sipped her tea. Although she wasn't active in the goings-on of the city and guilds anymore, she still liked to be aware of current events. And, of course, she was also searching for some sign of her old friends. Not that she ever found much these days. Fairy Tail hadn't made the papers since it had disbanded some months before, and Crime Sorcière was secretive by nature. All the same, reading the paper was a daily ritual, a quiet hour for her to catch up on the news and drink her tea in peace.
But today it was not to be. Ultear put down the paper and teacup with a sigh, gingerly pulling herself out of the chair and wincing slightly as her arthritic joints protested. Hobbling unhurriedly to the door, she wondered who could possibly be here now. She had made a few acquaintances over the past months, but she didn't often receive visitors. That was mostly her fault. She hadn't told anyone who she was, and her past set her apart from most of Crocus's citizens. As a result, the friends she had made weren't very close ones. She liked them well enough and occasionally someone would drop by to chat or invite her out to lunch, but she hadn't been expecting anyone today.
Unbolting the door, she pulled it open and peered outside. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw Gray standing on her doorstep, an uncertain expression on his face as he studied her house. When Ultear appeared, his tenseness vanished and he offered her a crooked smile instead.
"Oh good, it looks like I found the right place after all," he said lightly.
She stared at him uncomprehendingly. Gray was just about the last person she would have expected to find outside her door, and his sudden appearance was startling. Even more jarring was this collision of her past with the new life she had built for herself. Seeing Gray now reawakened the pieces of herself she had pushed aside, the pieces that longed for her old life.
"Gray," she managed finally, still eyeing him up and down. "What are you doing here?"
His grin widened—that blasted smile of his was just the same as it had always been, and she hadn't realized how much she had missed it—and a mischievous light entered his eyes.
"Oh dear, Ultear, your manners seem to have declined with age. Aren't you going to invite me in?"
Ultear smiled a little despite herself. She still wasn't quite over the shock yet, but at least this was familiar territory.
"Now, now, Gray, you should respect your elders," she chided, her eyes sparkling with mirth as she stepped aside and held the door open for him.
Gray moved inside and smirked at Ultear as she closed the door. "You're right, of course. Forgive me, Obaa-san."
Ultear laughed and shook her head, although she thought that something dark might have flashed in Gray's eyes.
"Young people these days," she grumbled in amusement. Gray's lips quirked upwards again. "Would you like some tea, Gray?"
His eyebrows rose fractionally. "I didn't realize you were much of a tea-drinker."
"Call it a whim of the aged," she replied with a laugh. "It's growing on me."
"Well then, I suppose I'll try some," Gray said with a faint smile.
Ultear ambled into her kitchen, Gray following quietly behind her, and rummaged through her cabinet to retrieve another cup. After filling it with some of the contents of the teapot on the stove, she turned to hand it to Gray, arching an eyebrow as she noticed that he had already managed to lose his shirt in the short time since she had let him in. Apparently he hadn't noticed, because he just took the cup gingerly and eyed it with a hint of wariness.
"It's not going to bite you," Ultear said, amused. She'd bet good money that Gray wasn't much of a tea-drinker himself.
Gray rolled his eyes and took a hesitant sip, his features contorting in disgust before he hurriedly smoothed them out again. Ultear laughed and headed back to her sitting room.
"You don't have to drink it if you don't like it."
"It's okay," Gray replied, rubbing at his face in embarrassment as he sat down in the chair across from her. He smiled sheepishly. "It's just a little different is all. Maybe I'll get used to it."
Ultear picked up her own cup from where it had been abandoned on the side table and sipped at it as she watched Gray over its rim.
"To be honest, it took a little while for me to get used to it too," she admitted. "But now it's something of an addiction." Then she decided to get down to business already, because she was dying to know why Gray was here. "So, to what pleasure do I owe this visit?"
Gray didn't respond immediately, instead drinking some more tea and grimacing faintly.
"Can't I stop by for a chat?" he asked finally. "It's been a long time since I've seen you. Since anyone has seen you, really. And after what happened with the Games…" He looked away with a frown. "I wanted to see how you've been doing. I should have come by sooner, but things were kind of crazy for a while." His eyes settled on the folded newspaper on the side table and he smiled ruefully. "I'm sure you know about some of it if you've been keeping up with the news."
"Yes," Ultear agreed. "I have some idea, although I doubt my information is very accurate or complete. Tell me, Gray, what have you been up to?"
Gray bit his lip and looked back up at her. "I'd rather talk about you first."
His pleasant smile had returned again, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. It bothered Ultear a little, because something in his eyes reminded her of the look he tended to get when talking about her mother. There was a hint of wistfulness and guilt and melancholy that didn't belong. She supposed that part of it might be that he felt bad about what had happened to her, but for the life of her, she didn't understand what he had to feel guilty about.
"You've got a nice place here," he added, glancing around. "It looks like you've settled in nicely, but it must be pretty different from how you lived before. How have you been holding up, Ultear? Tell me about how you've been doing."
Ultear studied him a moment longer, but then shrugged and complied with his request. "I met a friendly woman in a café who mentioned that she was moving in with her son and had a house that she was planning to find a tenant for. I happened to need a place to live, so it was very convenient. I had a little money saved up that I retrieved, and she was lenient for the first few weeks until I started earning a more steady income. We get along well and she basically lets me do whatever I want to this place."
She looked around the room fondly, her lips curling upwards in satisfaction. She had put plenty of her own touches on this house and it had begun feeling like home.
A thought struck her and she threw Gray a questioning look. "How did you manage to find me, anyway?"
It wasn't like she had tried to remain hidden or anything, but she hadn't exactly advertised her presence either. She hadn't told anyone about her past and she didn't know many people here. Tracking her down shouldn't have been that easy.
Gray scowled a little, but amusement gleamed in his eyes. "With far more patience than I thought I possessed," he answered dryly. "It took me a couple days of sleuthing and following leads. If you had left Crocus then I don't think I ever would have found you."
Ultear pursed her lips and studied him pensively. If he had gone through that much trouble to find her… She wondered what his purpose was in coming here. It must be important if he had spent so much time searching for her. She almost asked, but restrained herself. Gray had made it clear that he wanted to hear about her life first, so she would just have to be patient and wait until later to ask him what his true intentions were.
"Well, I suppose you've always been determined," she said instead. Leaning back into her chair, she sighed and shrugged. "I've made a few new friends and acquaintances, so it's not like I'm completely isolated here. Sometimes I itch to go back to mage work, but I've picked up some new hobbies to keep me busy. I read and I've discovered that I quite enjoy baking. And I know I'm going to regret saying this, but I knit sometimes too."
A sly smirk spread across Gray's face at the last part. "Sounds fun," he said.
Ultear waited for the other shoe to drop, but despite the grin, Gray didn't make the verbal jab she had been expecting. She raised an eyebrow at his self-restraint.
"And I do a lot of gardening," she added.
"Gardening, huh?" Gray still looked like he was dying to tease her, but stayed polite. "What do you grow, then?"
Ultear smiled fondly and gestured towards the window behind the younger mage. He took the hint and rose. Drawing the curtains back, he peered outside.
"Ah," he breathed slowly, his smile fading into something a little more melancholy. "Rose garden."
Ultear nodded even though he wasn't watching her. The mixture of nostalgia and wistful melancholy made it clear that he had made the connection to her mother. She supposed that she couldn't be surprised. Gray had immediately recognized Ur's old rose garden spell when Ultear had used it on Tenrou.
"Even though we lived on a snowy mountain, she always did have a soft spot for roses," Ultear said with a sigh.
Gray smiled faintly, his eyes still fixed on the roses outside the window. "That's something that never changed. And she always made the most beautiful roses with her ice."
"She did," Ultear agreed.
Gray looked back over at her and his eyes softened. "You too," he said quietly. "Your roses looked exactly like hers. I didn't see you use molding often, but it always looked like hers."
Ultear smiled. There was something strangely comforting about hearing that she shared something with her mother. She knew that she was very different from Ur, had made very different choices and mistakes, but it was good to know that despite everything, she was still her mother's child.
Gray sighed heavily and his gaze wandered back to the roses again.
"In some ways you're very different, but in some ways…" He shook his head. "It's really too bad you never got the chance to meet her again after you learned the truth."
Ultear pursed her lips. She had finally managed to let go of most of the bitterness that came from all those years spent hating Ur, but it was too late now. She would never be able to truly reconcile with her mother and that haunted her sometimes. At the same time, she also heard what Gray wasn't saying.
"Yes," she agreed mildly, "sometimes I wish I had gotten that opportunity. But by now you should know that it wasn't your fault."
Gray snorted quietly and shook his head. "I know that. More or less. I screwed up very badly, but in the end it was really just a terrible accident. I've known that for a long time. The problem is that emotions can be perfectly irrational. If I feel like it was my fault, then regardless of what I know, does it really matter whether or not it was actually my fault?"
He shrugged again and looked back at Ultear. Despite his words, he seemed remarkably calm and unruffled.
"Really, though, I'm not nearly as much of a mess as I was a few years ago. And in any case, I didn't come here to talk about Ur." He paused as something seemed to occur to him. "Unless you want to?" he asked uncertainly.
Ultear considered it briefly. Gray would have plenty of stories about Ur that she wouldn't know. One day she wanted to hear them, but she wasn't sure that she really wanted to go there right now. Besides, she still wanted to know why Gray was actually here.
"Perhaps later," she said, knowing that there was no point in addressing his earlier admission. Then she smiled a little slyly. "It's a beautiful day outside, nice and warm. If you'd like, we can go sit out back in the garden. There's a bench."
Gray smiled sheepishly as she acknowledged his quiet fascination with the roses. Ultear wasn't sure that it was so much that he liked flowers as it was that they reminded him of Ur.
"Sounds nice."
He followed Ultear as she pulled herself up from her chair and headed for the back door. Easily overtaking her, he made it to the door first and held it open for her, after fumbling with the lock for a moment.
"At least your manners have improved," Ultear said as she exited the house.
He shut the door and laughed as he followed her over to the wrought iron bench sitting on the small bricked area in the middle of the garden.
"Well, you did tell me to be more polite," he pointed out with a half-smile.
Ultear hummed in agreement and they sat quietly for a few minutes, soaking in the warm sun and enjoying the sight of all the roses. She had started off planting the different colors separately, but over time they had begun to grow into each other. She had considered fixing that, but it would be a lot of work and she thought it looked rather nice anyway. Some of the deep red ones had mixed into the white and stood out in beautiful contrast, and the yellow and pale pink complimented each other nicely.
"You know, I thought the pink would be my favorite, but it turns out that I actually prefer the yellow," Ultear mused.
"Yellow? Really?"
"You don't like them?" Ultear asked, trying to look offended.
Not fooled, Gray just grinned at her crookedly. "I think they're very pretty. I just didn't think that yellow would be your favorite." He glanced around thoughtfully. "I think I like the white ones."
Ultear rolled her eyes. "In the midst of all the colorful flowers, your favorite happens to be the ones without any color."
"White is a great color," Gray protested with a laugh.
"You're welcome to take one if you'd like."
"Nah. I think they belong here in the ground. If I pick them, they'll just die. They're nice the way they are."
"True. Although I actually do cut some of them. I sell them to a little flower shop nearby to help pay the rent, and I get a pension from the city as well." She pulled a face. "Getting that was a hassle, let me tell you. The age on my documentation hardly matched my current state. I eventually figured out how to forge it."
Gray laughed. "Going back to your criminal roots? So, how old are you supposed to be now?"
The words were joking, but his lips tightened briefly before relaxing again. Ultear watched him curiously.
"Seventy-two."
"You're looking good for seventy-two," Gray commented, his lips twitching upwards.
"Maybe it's because I'm still a young woman at heart," she said, chuckling.
Something flashed in Gray's eyes and he glanced away. She frowned at him. Okay, no more jokes about her sudden aging.
"Anyway," she continued, "that's pretty much all I've been doing. Tell me what I've been missing, will you? How have you and the others been? I don't often get visitors who are in a position to tell me what's going on with everyone, and I'm dying to know."
"Well, that's because you didn't tell anyone what happened to you," Gray said reproachfully. "I saw the letter you gave Meredy and Jellal. They still don't know what happened." He sighed and shook his head. "I haven't told anyone yet because you made it clear that you didn't want this leaking out, but I did make sure to go check on Meredy for you.
"Not that Crime Sorcière is all that easy to track down, but I found them once before the whole mess with Tartaros. Meredy was doing well, although she still misses you a lot, and Jellal seemed fine. Did you know that Crime Sorcière is actually growing? Apparently the old Oración Seis got recruited at some point during Tartaros."
Ultear arched an eyebrow in surprise. "I hadn't heard that."
Perhaps it shouldn't be all that surprising with how under the radar her old guild preferred to stay. She wasn't sure what exactly to make of Oración Seis, but it was good to know that Crime Sorcière was expanding and continuing its mission.
"Thank you for checking up on Meredy and the guild for me," she added wistfully. She was glad that they were doing alright, but she still felt a little bad about the whole thing and she missed Meredy.
Gray nodded. "Lyon's been doing well too. Still an annoying jerk, but I take what I can get. And I'm sure you've heard about how we took down Tartaros." His face darkened a little. "And how Fairy Tail disbanded afterwards."
Ultear nodded wordlessly. She only knew what she had read in the papers or heard secondhand so she wasn't sure of all the details, but she had been impressed by the victory. As a former member of Grimoire Heart, she knew better than most how powerful the demon guild had been. And the disbandment that came so soon after the triumph had been a shock.
"I have. Although you still have your guild mark." She nodded meaningfully to his bare chest. He stared at her in bewilderment for a second before looking down.
"Where did my shirt go?" he asked automatically, before scowling.
"You lost it sometime between when I let you in and when I gave you the tea," Ultear said, her eyes sparkling.
Gray shook his head in exasperation. "This is your mother's fault, you know," he grumbled. "I only picked up this dumb habit because of her weird training techniques. Of course, every time I told her so, she would whack me."
"She'd whack you?" Ultear chuckled.
Ur had never been big on corporal punishment with Ultear, but perhaps harsher methods would have been needed for two unruly boys. Although honestly, Ultear couldn't say she was terribly surprised by the assertion. Her mother had been pretty feisty when she needed to be.
"Yup." Gray glanced back towards the house and then shrugged dismissively. "Oh well, I'll grab it on the way out, I guess." His lips quirked into a thoughtful frown. "But you're right—I didn't erase the guild mark. Fairy Tail has been like a family to me and losing them has been hard. I have faith that the guild is going to be rebuilt someday, so I left the mark. Erasing it would feel too much like giving up, and I don't want to give up on my friends yet. I feel better knowing that it's still there."
Ultear's heart went out to him, because although he didn't express too much overt emotion, it was clear that the loss of the guild had hit him hard and was still bothering him.
"I rather think that Fairy Tail will be getting back together again soon enough," she said gently. "You all are too stubborn to stay down and you have remarkably close bonds with each other. But… What happened, Gray? The newspapers didn't give much detail other than the fact that the guild disbanded. There was no real explanation, and it was especially shocking coming on the heels of your victory over Tartaros."
Gray grimaced and frowned at the ground. "Yeah, well, we never really got an explanation either."
Ultear tilted her head in confusion. "What?"
Gray sighed. "One moment we were celebrating our win over Tartaros, and the next Jii-chan is telling us that Fairy Tail is disbanding. He never gave us a real reason for it and he disappeared shortly after, so none of us really know why either. I mean, I have faith in him and he must have had a good reason, but he sure didn't tell us what it was."
"He didn't even tell you why?" Ultear asked slowly, trying to wrap her head around that.
"No. So we all went our separate ways and I haven't seen most of the guild in a few months. After the disbandment, I hung around with Juvia for a while and did some training. Then I ran into Erza a couple weeks ago and she made me a proposition."
"A proposition?" Ultear raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. This dark guild Avatar has been gaining a lot of power ever since the Balam Alliance fell, and it's been planning some kind of purification ritual or something that has to do with Zeref. Erza proposed an infiltration mission, so that's what I'm off to do now. When we're done here, I'm heading straight to Avatar's base."
Ultear frowned. Avatar hadn't been a very well-known guild because it had purposely flown under the radar for the past few years, but she knew of it. Even before Grimoire Heart had fallen, it had started a cautious expansion program, with more and more new branches springing up. And although it wasn't known well by outsiders, it had a nasty reputation among the other dark guilds. No dark guilds were very nice places, and Ultear suspected that Avatar would have only grown worse as it expanded to fill the void that the major dark guilds had left when Fairy Tail had taken them down.
"I know of Avatar," Ultear said carefully. "They've been around for a while even though they haven't made waves. Gray, even among other dark guilds, they have a bad reputation. They're vicious towards outsiders and even their own members, especially the newer ones. And if they ever suspect that you might be a traitor…" She shook her head. "They won't hesitate to torture and kill you. I think this is a very bad idea."
Gray sighed and shrugged. "It's not supposed to be a vacation and I'm not doing it for my health. But their plans—what little we've gleaned from source leaks and indiscretions—are becoming more dangerous, and they have the capacity to hurt a lot of people. It's not going to be fun, but this is something that has to be done. I'm willing to assume the risks."
"Why did Erza ask you to go undercover instead of doing it herself?" Ultear asked.
Not that she was accusing the other woman of anything, but it seemed curious to her that Erza would pass off such a mission to someone else. Plus, Ultear just didn't really want to think about Gray being stuck in Avatar.
Gray just shrugged. "Once she told me about it, did you really think that I'd let her do it herself instead of volunteering?"
Ultear sighed. No, she suspected that even if Gray knew of the inherent dangers and hardships of infiltrating a dark guild, he would take them upon himself to spare his friends. Self-sacrificing fool.
"Besides, I think I can probably pull off evil and crazy better than Erza can," he added with a smirk. "I've got a better look for it."
Ultear leaned back and studied him critically. "I'm not sure that you'll be able to play evil that well," she said doubtfully. "I mean, I know that you're pretty good at putting up masks and fooling people when you're hiding things, but evil? I'm not sure you can really do evil."
"You wound me," Gray said with mock hurt. "Maybe I'm more evil than you realize. I think I'll manage."
This whole situation was still worrying Ultear. She knew that Gray was strong and could take care of himself, but… She wasn't sure what he might endure with Avatar, but it wouldn't be pretty. There was no way he would come out of it unscathed. And she still wasn't sold on this whole playing evil thing. It didn't suit him and wouldn't be easy for him, and if he slipped up even once…
"You're about the least evil person I know," she said flatly. "And although I don't doubt your acting skills, evil is a tall order and it will go against every fiber of your being. They might do things to you or ask you to do things that you would never dream of doing. If you make even the littlest mistake, they'll jump on you and tear you apart. Dark guilds are never kind to traitors and if anything happens, Avatar will immediately turn their suspicions on you since you'll be the newest member. And I'm sure they'll find out about your prior involvement with Fairy Tail, which will make them even more suspicious. You'll be a target right from the beginning. And… I don't know. I just can't really see you as evil."
Gray sighed, his good humor fading a little. "Like I said, I'm aware of the risks," he said solemnly. Then his crooked grin returned. "But there's a trick to maintaining appearances, you know. As long as you maintain a consistent façade, people will usually see what they want to see or expect to see. As long as I make a suitably evil impression in the beginning, I won't have as much trouble later. Besides," he added, his grin taking on a sly cast, "I've got a secret weapon."
"Oh?" Ultear raised an eyebrow in question.
"Just in case you still think that I can't look evil…"
Black markings started spreading across Gray's pale skin, and Ultear jerked back in shock.
"Wh–What?"
"Like I said, I can look the part better than Erza," Gray said with a sigh. "Think it looks evil enough?"
Ultear gaped at him wordlessly, her eyes tracing over the strange marks. She'd never seen anything like them before, but she did have to admit that they helped give Gray a more disconcerting and malevolent appearance. Well, they disconcerted her, anyway.
"I guess," she said finally. "But you should do something about the hair."
Gray's eyebrows shot upwards. "You don't think my hair looks evil enough?" he asked as he started to laugh.
"No." Ultear forced a smile. "You should at least slick it back or something."
Gray snorted. "I'll take your advice into consideration when I put together my wardrobe."
He glanced down at himself and stared at the oily marks for a moment, his lips tightening. Then, with another sigh, he let them disappear. Ultear watched in horrified fascination as they seemed to melt away, leaving his skin unmarred once more.
"What the hell?" she asked, still stunned.
Gray smiled wanly and shifted so that he was leaning back against the arm of the bench. Ultear thought that the iron structure should be digging into him painfully, but he displayed no signs of discomfort.
"The other reason that it's me infiltrating Avatar is that I have a better motive and a more convincing story for joining," Gray said, his eyes wandering sightlessly across the garden. He hesitated for a moment, apparently debating whether to tell Ultear whatever was on his mind. "A lot of stuff happened during our fight with Tartaros. To all of us. Tartaros left its mark on us all, in different ways."
Ultear's eyes widened. "One of the demons did that to you?"
Gray hesitated again. "Not a demon. My father."
Ultear wasn't an expert on all aspects of Gray's life, but…weren't his parents dead? She had thought that Deliora had killed them and that was why he had ended up with her mother. Why he had been so obsessed with hunting down and killing the demon.
"Aren't your parents–?"
"Dead?" Something bitter flashed in Gray's eyes and his lips twisted into a dark, unamused half-smile for a moment before he set them in a grim line again. "Yes, they're dead. Deliora killed them a long, long time ago. So imagine my surprise when I came face to face with my father after all these years. And in the middle of a demon guild, no less."
"How…?" Ultear trailed off and shook her head, getting the feeling that she wasn't going to like where this story was going.
Gray grimaced briefly and then tried to smooth out his expression into something resembling his earlier good humor. He didn't quite make it there, but he looked a lot less bitter and much more detached.
"One of the Demon Gates was a necromancer. Apparently he ran across my hometown after it had been destroyed by Deliora." Anger flashed in Gray's eyes. "He found my father's body and reanimated it. I guess he was experimenting with seeing how long he could keep a corpse animated or something."
"And somehow my father wound up getting himself named as one of the Demon Gates even though he wasn't a demon. Ironic, really, because he hated demons after what Deliora had done to our family. He somehow acquired devil slayer magic so that he could hunt down as many as he could and destroy them."
Gray paused and stared moodily at the ground. Ultear studied him cautiously, not sure what to make of this story. This would have only happened a few months ago and she could tell that the hurt was still raw, even though he was trying to keep it in check.
"Devil slayer magic, huh?" she mused.
She wasn't sure whether or not Gray really heard her, because the next thing he blurted out was on a completely different tangent.
"I killed him."
Ultear stared at him blankly, waiting for him to qualify that declaration or add some explanation that made it clear that she had just misunderstood him, but he didn't add anything for a long moment, apparently content to let that ugly statement hang in the air. He lifted one hand a few inches and studied it pensively, before dropping it back into his lap.
"He was already dead," he continued flatly. "And I wasn't the one who killed the necromancer. But I…" He trailed off and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "But anyway, he 'died' when the necromancer was killed, and before he left, he somehow transferred his devil slayer magic to me."
Ultear bit her lip and watched Gray sadly. She didn't want to press for more details about what exactly had happened to his father since he was still upset, but what he had told her was already bad enough.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "You've had more than your fair share of heartache."
He smiled tiredly. "So have you."
Then he seemed to rally, pushing aside his dark mood to adopt a more lighthearted one again, although the pain and sadness still lingered at the edges.
"In any case, it actually came in handy later," he said with an almost-genuine smile. "Mard Geer hit me and Natsu with a curse that should have destroyed us both, but the devil slayer magic let us survive relatively unscathed. Although, it was after I got hit with the curse that these weird markings appeared. It kind of freaked me out at first, but I've been learning to control it over these past few months. It was part of the training I was doing."
Ultear couldn't say that her knowledge of devil slayer magic was very extensive, but Gray seemed confident that he had it under control. She let out a breath.
"Alright, I see where the marks came from and I'll agree that they at least help you look a little more evil, but I don't see how they provide you with a cover story for infiltrating Avatar."
"When my father gave me his magic, his last wish was that I finish what he started," Gray said. "He spent the past few years hunting down whatever demons he ran across, but his ultimate goal was to kill the demon E.N.D."
Gray grimaced slightly. "I actually had the book of E.N.D. in my hands, until Zeref snatched it back. But now I've got a mission to find it again and destroy E.N.D. That's my excuse for Avatar. If I'm looking for the book anyway, I can use it as an excuse and say that I'm using connections with Avatar to find it."
Ultear gaped at him, unable to believe her ears. For a second, she thought this stupid boy might give her a heart attack.
"Are you insane?" she demanded. "You not only want to infiltrate a dark guild known for its brutality, but you've also decided that your new goal is to kill the most powerful demon ever created?" She shook her head and slumped backwards, her face pale. "You're going to get yourself killed."
"Have a little faith, Ultear," Gray chided, smiling wanly. "Avatar won't be a problem. All I have to do is play an obsessed sociopath for a bit. I'll just revert back to how I was with Deliora, and I'm sure I won't have such a tough time since I've already been there once."
"You weren't a sociopath," Ultear said harshly. "You were a kid who was grieving and wanted revenge."
Gray shrugged. "Look, the point is that I was obsessed with killing Deliora as a kid," he said, dissecting the situation clinically. "Now I just have to pretend to do that again with a different demon. It won't be as hard for me as it would be for someone who has never experienced that before. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I can pull it off because I understand how to do it convincingly."
Ultear could tell that she wasn't going to be able to talk Gray out of this foolhardy scheme. He had already assessed the risks and considered the outcomes, and he had decided to go through with it anyway. That didn't mean that she liked it though. To be honest, she was frightened that he was killing himself with this. If not with Avatar, then with the demon.
"Just be careful," she said quietly. "It's easy to start losing yourself when you've been stuck in a dark guild for too long. And…be careful to make sure that your desire to kill E.N.D. doesn't turn into an obsession. Obsessions like that have a nasty habit of coming back to hurt you and the people you care about."
Gray grimaced and looked away. "I do want to find the book and kill E.N.D. eventually, but I'm not obsessed the same way I was with Deliora. And I'm not going to let it get to that point again. I can't. Last time I did that…" He winced and shook his head. "I know that kind of single-minded obsession tends to hurt people. I know that. I won't let it go that far this time."
Ultear realized belatedly that her cautionary warning could have been taken as a direct attack based on what had happened with Deliora and Ur.
"It's not just you, you know," she said, hurrying to smooth things over. "I got obsessed with the idea of creating a new world, a new time, where everything could be undone and I could fix everything that went wrong in this timeline. Eventually I started realizing that things weren't quite adding up, that this scheme of mine was probably more impossible than I had thought, but by then I couldn't give it up. In the process of chasing that obsession, I hurt a lot of people."
The pair sat in silence as Ultear reflected on that. Her grand plan had seemed so perfect at first, but she had soon begun seeing cracks. The more she read and studied and learned, the more clues she got that things weren't going to work out the way she wanted them to. There were things she had run across in her books that had suggested some of her dreams were impossible fantasies, but she had swiftly pushed aside that kind of contradictory evidence. She had needed her dream to survive and give her something to strive towards.
Besides, she had done some terrible things in her quest for a new world. She had done them under the assumption that all that wouldn't matter anymore once she succeeded. As her crimes had continued to pile up, it became unthinkable that she might have been wrong all along, because that would have meant that she had been doing it all for no reason and that she would have to live with it for the rest of her life because she couldn't undo it. She hadn't been able to face that possibility, so she had quashed all her budding doubts and thrown herself even more wholeheartedly into her obsession to help her forget any lingering insecurities. Accepting the truth hadn't been easy for her.
"We make quite a pair, don't we?" Gray asked, smiling ruefully. "We've both made some pretty spectacular mistakes. But still, we've both done our best to make up for them too. You've got Crime Sorcière to show for that, haven't you?'
Ultear smiled faintly and nodded.
"Anyway," Gray continued, trying for a more teasing tone to get them out of all the depressing talk, "you've been in a dark guild. Any advice for a dark guild wannabee?"
He grinned crookedly. She wanted to smile back, but there wasn't any happy advice about dark guilds to give.
"First of all, slick your hair back," she said with a chuckle. Then she sighed and turned serious again. "Never show weakness or they'll be on you like sharks. Mercy and compassion are weaknesses, and that's what I think is most likely to trip you up. I still think you're just too nice for this."
Gray's smile faded away. "I know," he said simply.
Ultear studied him, trying to think of whether or not there was anything else he should hear before he went traipsing off to join a dark guild. Her gaze fell on the guild mark stamped on his chest and her grimace deepened.
"You'll have to erase your guild mark," she said quietly, although she knew that Gray already knew as much. Given how fondly he had talked about it earlier and what a symbol of hope he seemed to have turned it into, she thought that it would be difficult for him.
"I know," he said again, sighing. "I'm going to cover it up with the slayer markings so that I don't have to actually erase it. Maybe it will help me get through this if I know that Fairy Tail's mark is still there, even if I can't see it."
Ultear remained silent for a moment. "You've really thought this all through, haven't you?" she asked finally, her voice resigned.
Gray nodded, one corner of his mouth twitching upwards sardonically. "That's what I've been telling you."
"Well, I wish you all the luck in the world with that." Her gaze sharpened as she studied Gray. "But you didn't come here to tell me about Avatar. If you took all that time and effort to locate me before running off on your mission, you must have had some pressing reason. Why is it that you really came looking for me?"
Gray looked faintly taken aback, before he laughed a little and ran a hand through his hair.
"I think you've misunderstood. I didn't have some all-important reason for coming. I don't need your help or have any request to ask of you. Like I said, I came to chat." His eyes took on a tired, sad look. "I just wanted to make sure that you were doing alright after everything that happened." He turned to her and searched her face earnestly. "Ultear, you seemed so at peace and content before, but… I need to know, are you really happy?"
Ultear stared at him in surprise. She could tell that he meant every word he said, and it was kind of touching. The two of them hadn't actually known each other for that long, they had been enemies for part of that time, and their closest connection was through a woman who was long dead. That he had gone through so much trouble for her and still cared so deeply anyway was rather heartwarming.
"I've been doing well, really." She thought back to the aftermath of the Games and smiled a little in satisfaction. "I know it seems like I might have a lot to be bitter about, but I've honestly never felt better. I was hoping my spell would be powerful enough to rewind time to before the gate was opened so that we could stop the whole mess with the dragons before it even started, but in the end it failed. It measured my life as what, one minute, was it?
"At first I was a little upset over it, but the problem was solved anyway and I came to terms with everything pretty quickly. I guess it felt like I finally did something right for once, even if it didn't really work out, and that's helped me finally start letting go of some of my guilt and bitterness. I'm more at peace than I've been in…almost forever, I guess."
Despite the positive spin she had put on things, Gray's face had paled and his expression became more and more horrified as she talked. Ultear studied him curiously.
"What is it?" she asked.
At first Gray didn't respond, but then he slowly leaned forward, grasped one of her wrinkled hands in his, and stared her directly in the eye.
"Ultear," he said gravely, "I want you to be happy. I want you to let go of your guilt and pain and find a way to be at peace with yourself. But not like that. Not by coming to accept that you couldn't do anything or that your life was only worth one minute. Be happy, be at peace, but do it another way."
Ultear thought that he was maybe overreacting. "Gray–"
He shook his head, seeing that she wasn't understanding. "Whatever you've done in the past, whatever mistakes you might have made or crimes you might have committed, you didn't deserve to have this happen to you."
"I never said–"
"Look," Gray started, sighing heavily and rubbing at his face with one hand. "When you've made bad mistakes, sometimes you start thinking that you deserve some kind of punishment for them. Maybe you don't tell yourself that in so many words, but some part of you knows it. So maybe you'll start seeking out pain sometimes—because you deserve it, don't you?—or when something bad happens to you then you can rationalize it away as somehow being right. Maybe one day you'll realize that you yourself are a terrible person, because those mistakes have slowly come to define you and you don't know who you are without them anymore.
"You start thinking that things would have been so much better if you had done this and this and this differently, but no matter what schemes you come up with, you can't undo those mistakes. And since you're a terrible person anyway, maybe it would be even better if something bad had happened to you before, so that you didn't have the chance to make those mistakes at all. You're not going to do anything stupid and drastic, but no matter how hard you've tried to make up for what you've done, you can't help but feel that you still deserve something worse.
"And then after all that, when something comes around to tell you that your life—that you—has been weighed and valued at something as insignificant as a single minute, you're already prepared to accept that. You accept it and think you've found peace, but deep down you know that hard-won peace is based on the acceptance of the fact that you are worthless. I want you to find happiness, Ultear, but not like that. Never like that."
"Gray…" she breathed, stunned.
"You need to accept yourself for who you really are, the good and the bad. The truth is that everyone has made mistakes. Some of them are worse than others, some people have done more to try to make reparations than others have, but in the end… No one is perfect, but in the end, a human life is still priceless, no matter who it belongs to. Your one minute was priceless, Ultear."
Ultear swallowed hard and looked away, unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. The sad thing was that Gray was right. She had never really acknowledged that reasoning or thought about it like that, but she had to admit that some part of her really had believed that she deserved the consequences of her failed spell. She had struggled so hard to make up for her mistakes, but during the fight with the dragons she had been so close to killing an innocent Rogue that she had been horrified with herself.
It had felt like she had gone back to being as callous and cold as she was before, and in some way Last Ages had been meant to make up for that. When it hadn't worked… Some part of her wasn't surprised that she had only gotten one minute. But she had tried to save everyone with her spell anyway, even though she had known the consequences before she had started. She had finally made a sacrifice selfless enough to wash away some of her sins, and that had helped her let go of the bitterness and disappointment of the failure. It had helped her buy a little peace of mind, but in some ways that peace was little more than a sham.
She let out a shaky breath. Maybe all she had needed all along was for someone to tell her that her life was still worthwhile despite the things she had done, that she was still important too. Maybe Gray was right and that was the kind of peace she needed. She couldn't say for sure yet, but it was something that she could work on and figure out for herself.
Ultear opened her mouth, not sure of what she needed to say but aware that she'd have to offer Gray some kind of reassurance and gratitude, but another thought hit her. Gray had given that little speech solely for her benefit, but he hadn't come up with that line of reasoning on the spot. It was something that he understood too well to be an innocent bystander.
"Gray… You…" She trailed off uncertainly, not sure of how to proceed.
Gray gave her a reassuring smile, although it was still tired.
"It's not so bad anymore," he said lightly. "I've been working through my own issues for years and I've made a lot of progress. I've had a few setbacks along the way, but for the most part I've kept moving forward. I understand these things because I've been there before, but I'm not usually there now. I don't want to see you do the same things I've done. I've made a lot of progress accepting and forgiving myself, and I'd like to see you do the same."
"I can try," she said hoarsely, past the lump in her throat. "I can try."
"Thank you," he said, his smile becoming a little more genuine. Ultear arched an eyebrow since she rather thought that she should be the one thanking him. "That's all I ask." His smile suddenly faltered and died, and he stared down at his hands with slightly narrowed eyes. "But there is… There is something that I wanted to tell you, if you didn't already know. Once I calmed down and started thinking more clearly, it occurred to me that maybe you never actually knew after all."
That look was back again, the one he got when talking about her mother. Ultear didn't like how sad and almost guilty he suddenly looked, and she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.
"I don't understand," she said, eyeing him with cautious concern.
He swallowed and laced his fingers together for a moment, although he quickly pulled them apart again as he stared at them and fidgeted. "A lot of stuff happened in that one minute, Ultear. I can't say for sure what exactly happened because I was out of commission, but in a deadly battle, one minute can make a real difference. I think it probably helped a lot of people."
Ultear shrugged dismissively. She saw his point, but she still wasn't sure how proud she could be of one minute. A single minute was such a short time—how much of a difference could it really make?
"What do you mean, 'out of commission'?" she asked instead.
Gray hesitated a moment, before sighing. "Well, I was dead."
Ultear stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Pardon me?" she asked uncertainly, wondering what she was missing here.
Gray's hands stilled and he finally lifted his bowed head to look at her.
"In that one minute before you rewound time, I got myself into some trouble," he explained quietly. "Managed to get myself shot through by at least half a dozen dragonlings. It was so fast that there was nothing anyone could do—I was already dead by the time I hit the ground. Or I suppose so, anyway. I don't really remember that part, being dead and all. When you rewound time that was undone, and I got myself out of the way and now I'm alive again.
"I don't know everything else that happened in that minute, but I think that you probably saved a lot of people's lives. Even if they didn't actually die, having that sort of glimpse of the future could have gotten a lot of people out of trouble. Your spell didn't fail, Ultear. That's another reason I wanted to come see you, to make sure you knew that you didn't fail."
The two friends stared at each other silently.
"You were dead?" Ultear asked slowly, drawing out the words as she tried to wrap her head around them. It seemed so impossible.
"And now I'm not."
"I didn't know that," she murmured.
It still seemed rather unbelievable, but it was starting to sink in. No, Ultear hadn't known what had happened to Gray. If she had cast her spell a minute too soon or a minute too late, he would still be dead. It seemed an unbelievable coincidence, and she marveled at that for a moment. She had done that.
Ultear had thought that her sacrifice was worthless because it had only encompassed a single minute, but she had never stopped to wonder about how important that minute might have been. She had just assumed that it was too insignificant to have made a real difference, and had moved on to look for a way to come to terms with her failure. Her spell hadn't been enough to stop the Eclipse Gate from opening in the first place, but it had saved Gray and it could have saved other people too.
Giving up her time for something worthless was a bitter pill to swallow, but giving it up to save Gray… She could accept that. She hadn't failed, hadn't been worthless. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, even though she had never been aware of its presence. She was relieved that Gray was alright, glad that she had managed to help him, and maybe a little, just a little, proud of herself.
She smiled. "I'm glad you're alive," she told him, her voice taking on a cheery edge.
Despite her sudden good humor, Gray didn't seem to cheer up any. He tried to smile back but it came out wrong, and he glanced away again.
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"That's why you've had that look," she blurted out as the realization finally struck her.
That startled him into looking up, his expression puzzled. "What look?"
Ultear's good mood faded a little as she figured out what must be going through Gray's head.
"I kept thinking that you were looking at me with the same expression you get when you talk about my mother." She shook her head and sighed. "I didn't even know that you were in trouble, Gray. I'm really glad the spell saved you, but I didn't use it as a last resort to bring you back. None of this could possibly be your fault."
Gray smiled ruefully, although the expression still had a melancholic edge. "I know."
"But feelings and emotions are irrational?" she suggested, recalling something he had said earlier.
Subdued amusement flickered across his face for a moment before his eyes dimmed again.
"Something like that." He frowned down at his hands again. "You have to realize…it's just too much like what happened to Ur. She sacrificed herself to save me and you…you… It doesn't matter that you didn't know or that you're not actually dead or whatever. It just feels like… I don't know." A sardonic half-smile played at the corners of his mouth for a moment. "I really did a number on your family, didn't I?"
Ultear studied him sadly, reflecting that maybe she should have guessed that this connected back to her mother. She knew that it wasn't all about Ur—Gray had made it clear that he was upset over what had happened to Ultear for her own sake, not just for her mother's—but she realized now that it would have brought back bad memories. Ur had died protecting Gray and Ultear had ultimately made a sacrifice that had saved his life as well, regardless of whether or not she had understood what she was doing at the time.
"Yes," she said quietly. "Yes, you did. I don't think anyone can deny that you had a big impact on my family." She smiled wistfully. "I didn't see everything you did for my mother, but I have a pretty good idea. She loved you and Lyon, and you gave her a reason to be happy after she thought that I died. Even if she was never replacing me like I originally thought, you two helped give her a second chance to have another family. I think you made her happy and helped her get over her grief, and I'm grateful for that.
"And if we want to include Lyon in this…" She shook her head a little, thinking of her mother's other student. He was an odd one, and she had mixed feelings about him that had slowly shifted from when she first met him as Zalty until she finally left behind her roots in her dark guild. "I saw how he was on Galuna. You could argue that you had a hand in setting him on that crazy path, but you're also the one who snapped him out of it. Deliora's death might have impacted him as well, but it was ultimately you who convinced him to move on, and I think he's a lot happier these days.
"As for me…" Ultear chuckled and her smile became more genuine. "Seeing some of my mother's memories in the ocean helped convince me to give up my own crazy scheme, but you made a big difference. I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't fought me and badgered me until I could be convinced that I had been wrong all along. I might still be looking for a way to build my new world. Plus, in coming here, you've made me realize that I wasn't just a failure, and I think that will help me find a better kind of peace with myself.
"I think that all three of us are better people for having met you, Gray. Yes, you did a number on my family, but it wasn't all bad. You've done a lot of good for us too, and none of us regret, or would have regretted, having you as part of our family."
Gray's study of his hands seemed to have intensified the longer Ultear talked, but although his head was bowed, she could make out the faint gleam of unshed tears in his dark eyes. He didn't reply at first, but then he cleared his throat.
"I've regretted a lot of things in my life," he remarked, his voice somehow steady despite how tight it was with emotion, "but being part of…your…family was never one of them."
Ultear started to smile, but then Gray looked back up at her, his eyes sad and a touch regretful.
"She would have been… She would have been proud of you, you know," he said quietly, his voice finally wavering a little. Something seemed to occur to him and he waved a hand in the air dismissively. "Not so much because of what you did with your sacrifice, although I guess she would have been proud of you for having the courage to do that too. But she would have been really proud of how you turned out.
"And before you use your time in Grimoire Heart as an excuse to contradict that… We all make mistakes and she knew that. I mean, I was a really angry, annoying, unlovable kid, but she still loved me anyway. No matter what mistakes you've made, she would have loved you anyway.
"I'm sorry…" He swallowed and glanced away. "I'm sorry that she's not here to tell you that herself, but I think you should know it anyway."
Ultear smiled a little shakily. "I'm sorry too, but thank you for stepping in for her. It means a lot, really."
They watched the roses gently swaying in the breeze for a few peaceful minutes, before Gray turned back to Ultear abruptly. He had managed to wipe all traces of the previous emotional conversation from his face, and he was grinning crookedly again instead. It was contagious and Ultear found herself smiling back at him, thinking that perhaps both of them had gained some closure and peace from this visit.
"I know this is a strange note to leave things on," he said with a sheepish smile, "but I should really be going. As much as I'd love to stay and chat, finding you took longer than expected and I'm already behind schedule." He smirked. "Hopefully Erza won't strangle me for being so late."
Ultear chuckled and pulled herself up off the bench, choosing not to protest when Gray decided to help her up and lend her support as they headed for the back door.
"Off to Avatar then?"
"Yeah." He pulled a face. "I really should have been there a couple days ago, but it's not like they know that. I know that I don't really have to tell you this, but I'd be really grateful if you didn't tell anyone about the mission with Avatar. Erza would have my head if she knew I've been running around telling people. She didn't even want me to tell Juvia."
Ultear rolled her eyes. "Who am I going to tell?" she asked dryly. "The knitting club?"
Gray paused, his free hand on the doorknob, and raised an eyebrow at her. "You joined a knitting club?"
Ultear laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "No. I don't even have them to expose your secrets to."
Gray chuckled and twisted the knob, holding the door open so that Ultear could hobble back into the house. "Point taken."
"Just don't forget about the hair," she added impishly. "As long as you agree to fix your hair, I won't hunt down the city's knitting club and spread the news of your escapades."
"Yeah, yeah, my hair isn't evil enough." Gray rolled his eyes as he closed the door behind them. "I'll do something about that."
"Good."
Ultear paused and turned back when she realized that Gray wasn't following her anymore. His amusement had faded a little into a more serious expression, and he was watching her thoughtfully.
"After I finish this mission with Avatar, I'd like to come visit you again," he said slowly. "If that's okay…?"
"Of course." Ultear smiled at him fondly. "I'd like that."
He shifted indecisively, and then sighed. "Look, I think it would be a good idea if you at least told Meredy and Jellal what happened. I get that you don't really want them to see you like this and you think it will be easier if they just accept that you're gone, but…" He shook his head. "They don't know what happened to you, but they want to. I think they deserve to know. Meredy misses you a lot and you miss her too.
"You aren't dead, you know. You still have the chance to meet with her again and spend more time with her. One day, you might lose that chance and then it will be too late. You might regret that. I honestly think that it would do you all some good if you got back in contact with each other. You don't have to decide right now, but… Think about it, will you?"
Ultear bit her lip and wavered indecisively. She wanted to see Meredy—and Jellal too, she supposed—and she knew that Meredy would want to see her. She knew that Gray was right and she should probably stay in contact with her friends while she still could, but she wasn't sure if she was quite prepared for that yet. She still wasn't sure if she wanted them to see what had become of her. But at the same time…
"I'll think about it."
"That's all I ask." Gray grinned crookedly as he walked with Ultear back to the front door. He bent down to pick up his discarded shirt in the entranceway and began pulling it back on. "You can let me know what you decide when I come back to visit again. Maybe I can bring Meredy with me the next time."
Ultear smiled at the thought. That might be nice. But she didn't have to decide yet. She'd think through everything and have an answer for Gray when he returned.
"Alright," she said. "I'll let you know."
Gray opened the door and stepped out onto the front step before turning around again to face her.
"Thank you for coming by," Ultear told him. "You're always welcome to come back. And good luck with Avatar." Her lips tightened in worried disapproval, before she shook off her concern and smiled again. "Be careful."
"I will."
Gray paused and glanced down. Ultear could see his hands moving, but before she could see what it was that he had done, he reached out and pressed his creation into her hands, curling her gnarled fingers around it. The chill of ice seeped into her skin, but she could already tell that this was the type of magicked ice that wouldn't be melting any time soon. Gray smiled brightly, and Ultear found herself caught up in his open gaze.
"It was nice seeing you again." This smile of his was so genuine that it took Ultear's breath away. "I'll be back. Take care of yourself, Ultear."
With a last flash of smile and a wave farewell, Gray turned and headed down the street, leaving Ultear staring after him. She leaned against the doorframe and watched until he turned the corner and disappeared from sight. Only then did she rouse herself and look down at what he had given her. Uncurling her fingers, she chuckled as she saw the ice rose blossoming in her palm. The crystalline petals glittered in the sunlight, beautiful and fragile. Well, here was a rose that wouldn't die if it was cut.
She wondered if Gray realized that his ice roses were just as beautiful as anything she or her mother had ever made. It must be a family talent.
Note: You think it's long now—I cut over a thousand words during editing lol But yeah, I'm maybe still a little bit bitter about how Ultear's swansong was handled.
emmahoshi: Lol, it's okay. I pick and choose who I read about too. After the timeskip, Lyon did tell Gray something about Ultear, so he had to have known about her. And Gray didn't know Ultear was alive until Tenrou and wouldn't have had time to tell Lyon since the timeskip happened right after, so Lyon would have had to find out on his own. And he technically met her on Galuna when she was disguised as Zalty, so maybe that experience gave her some kind of motivation to seek him out after she had her "conversion moment"? It's mostly guesswork, but it makes sense to me. Thanks for reading even though you didn't want to :P
Ranting Raver: For future reference, if you want a response to your reviews, it would be great if you'd say so in the review itself :) I PM replies to signed-in reviews, but I don't usually respond to guest reviews because it clutters the A/Ns and I never know if the guest will even notice that I responded. emmahoshi is a special case because she's stuck with me a long time and I know she comes back to read the responses. But if you want me to respond, just say so and I'll be happy to oblige.
Death in FT is a complicated theme. Sure, you have the "living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be" side, but it's offset by the "no one ever dies, and if they do we'll resurrect them within a couple chapters" side. The constant bait-and-switch with deaths really kills the drama. I don't know if Makarov will die or not. On the one hand, yes, he's old with no love interest. On the other, he's almost died a few times before and nothing came of it (e.g., Phantom Lord, Battle of FT, Tenrou). And no, I doubt we'll ever really see Ultear again. This arc has been dragging back all the "lost"/"dead"/dead characters in a poorly-executed attempt for closure. Personally, I fall on the "who would really want to live forever?" side of the debate, and it doesn't really bother me that in a land of magic, it's still not feasible for most people to live forever.
I don't know about the "Magic Goes Away" trope. I think that idea has been played with a couple times, both with Edolas and Tartaros (i.e., Face), and once in the opposite direction, with Grimoire Heart (i.e., wanting a world where only magic exists). Not sure where Mashima will go with it. I do hope he doesn't take that route though, because magic is such an integral part of these characters.