Chapter 1

I awake in a state of panic. My mind perplexed with hazy exhaustion and slight confusion. My body's fight or flight instincts are kicked in at the sound of screaming. As I come to I realize that not ten feet away from me my only brother is thrashing and yelling into the darkness.

I stumble over to where he lay, "Jacob!" I grab his wrists and try to pin them to his chest, "Jake! Wake up!"

He breaks free of my grasp and swings at my face, just clipping my jaw. I throw my whole body weight against him and try to keep him still as I fumble for the tiny jar of serum on his nightstand. Once I have it grasped tightly in my hand I search for a syringe. As I extract the drug he throws me to the ground and pins me down with his forearm pressed to my throat. My body tenses and is nearly paralyzed with shock as I struggle against his weight and sheer strength. I take a deep breath and bring my foot out from underneath him. I push him as hard as I can with my heel and he crashes into the dresser behind him. All of his knife throwing trophies clatter on the floor and the mirror shatters sending shards of glass to rain down on the both of us.

Not a moment after I'm on my feet he's after me again. I manage to duck underneath his thick arms as he charges for me and once his back is turned to me I jump on him and wrap my legs around his waist. He loses balance and I end up thrown into a pile of broken glass on the floor. But I've managed to keep him pinned to my chest with my feet. I quickly grab the syringe.

"Damnnit, Jake!" I spit through my clenched teeth and stab the needle into his neck.

Almost immediately his body relaxes and I push him off of me. I stand and rub my throat where he had me pinned as I look him over. He's still asleep. I throw a blanket on top of him and shut the door tightly behind me as I walk out into the kitchen.

"Thanks for all the help." I press an ice pack to my jaw and brush off what glass I can as I shove past my father to get to the bathroom.

I gingerly pull my tank top off and wince as the fabric peels from the gashes. I remember the first time Jake had a psychotic break. We were both 6 and dad had brought us to the fence to look out on to the Amity compound. He wanted to teach us about all of the different factions but like most children we were more interested in exploring and getting into things we shouldn't have.

"Dad look!" I joyfully cried as I hung upside down on the rungs of a ladder leading to a watchtower.

He grinned a goofy smile and threw me over his shoulder and spun round and round, "Okay, Naira. You need to pay attention here. Your future may be the protecting of these gates." and placed me on the ground.

He looked over the deserted shore, "Where is your brother?"

I shrugged and dug my hands deep in the sand, laughing when i caught the grains slipping through my fingers in my other hand.

"Stay here while I look for him."

"Okay, papa." I sat still until he turned his back to find Jake.

I felt the seagrass beneath my knees and wondered if i looked hard enough I could find sea shells along the fence. I slipped away from the spot my father left me. Once again I was running and jumping along the fence forgetting my true mission.

"Agh!" a small groan whimpered from behind a sand dune.

I followed the gasps and thuds from behind the hill.

Jake stood over a small child dressed in red. His boots were covered in blood and his fist was pulled back ready to knock the boy out.

"Jake, no!" I screamed.

He didn't react to the sound of my voice he just kept swinging. The look of rage in his eyes was unfamiliar to me. It was as though someone had taken control over him to become this vicious creature.

I leaped on him and knocked him off the boy, "Run!" I screamed and pinned Jake's arms down with my knees. He continued to struggle against my weight. I kept trying to shake him out of this trance like state so I'd be able to get him under control again but he continued to resist. I gritted my teeth forced his shoulders down and I was about to lose control of him when my father and a man dressed in a red tunic came over to us and injected him with a pale orange serum that suddenly stopped his outburst. I kept his body clenched under my hands for fear that he would act out again. I didn't let go until my father's strong arms peeled me off.

"It's okay. It's okay." he whispered in my ear as he held me tight against his chest, "I'll keep you safe, always."

But he never did. It was always me keeping Jake in line. It was me that would make sure he took a daily dose of the serum and it always seemed to be me who was around when he lost control. The other Dauntless have begun to notice how dangerous he can be and I worry about his future here. Unstable people don't last long in Dauntless.

I dress myself and sit at our kitchen table. I may be used to his outbursts but I still find myself having a hard time going back into our room afterwards. Dad peers around the fridge at me. He looks exhausted.

I sigh, "Sit."

He takes the seat across from me.

"I can't do this anymore an-"

"I know," he rubs his forehead with the balls of his fingers, "I know. And I'm trying to do the best I can for you kids. But since your mother die-"

"Stop." I slammed my uninjured hand on the table, "I know. Mom is dead. Work is slow. Alcohol is more expensive. Things suck. I get it."

His face fell into a solemn expression of defeat.

"We can't afford the serum anymore, dad." I locked my gaze with his, "We need to think about the choosing ceremony."

"No." he gritted his teeth, "I am not losing you two."

"Listen to me!" I stood up from my chair and nearly knocked over the table, "He needs that serum. If we just transfer to Amity I can keep an eye on him and get him the help he needs. I hear they bake the stuff into the bread there! We'll never worry about him acting up again! You'll still see us. We'll visit after initiation." I let out a long, staggered breath and sat down again, "We need this."

"I know." he looked down, "I just can't imagine both of you being gone."

"We'll be around."

"How will it look, Naria, when both of my children join a rival faction?!"

"It looks a lot goddamned better than being fired from work for showing up drunk not once, not twice, but three times. Dad, we can't do this anymore. We can't afford the serum while paying the fines back to the faction. And you aren't going to get your job back until you do pay them."

"Stop telling me shit I already know."

"Then let us go." I left him there in the kitchen and closed the front door behind me as I went off into town.