Introduction (now improved)...really, it´s better now. I´m gonna to cut that introduction veeeeeeeery short

Disclaimer: not mine. promise.

Explanation: I have already posted another version of this story; but I don´t like the first chapter very much now; I re-wrote it here. The old one still exists, drop by for the extra-large-version if you want to.

Summary: Just your average HP-YGO-Xover fic... haha, fooled you. This is gonna be anything but average

Background: you know, usual stuff, yamis got their own bodies, Bakura is the evil one, Marik the evil one, Malik and Ryou the good ones

More info: Ryou, Malik, Marik and Bakura have moved together. The yamis because they love the same things (destruction and chaos) and the hikaris to act as a buffer between them and the environment. (not working at all).

History: Marik had to attend anger management classes, until he ate the teacher; now he´s driving people nuts with simple mathematics. (math is a logic following sane minds...I think you can guess now what Marik´s mind can invent). Bakura does what he does best: stealing. (He´s the one who owns „the Scream" right now)And he recently discovered that he could produce that sound that can make glass shatter.

So the four of them lived their lives, until one day when something came into their house no one expected...

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An owl and some strange old man

There he was. Alone, innocent (alright, bloody not innocent, but at least as innocent as he could be) and thinking of nothing evil (as long as you say ,plans of making the stupid Pharaoh suffer are not considered as evil)when that thing hit him. What was that anyway? Shoud he try to eat it? Or set it aflame? Or perhaps a combination of both...

The door was opened. In there stepped Bakura. On his head his huge earphones that told the world "Disturb me and your destiny is forfeit right now",and dressed in his T-Shirt( with the nice phrase on the front "I´m shizophrenic", and on the back those two little words "Me too"). "There´s a bird on your head." he stated. "I know that this thing is there, get it off me so I can have revenge!" Slowly the look in Bakura´s eyes changed. Mischief was sparkling in those crimson orbs...

"You remember that film from Alfred Hitchcock? That one with the birds go crazy?" he asked. A evil grin was plastered on Marik´s face. " Yeah, I do. Normally I´m not very fond of remakes, but now that you mention it...wouldn´t I make a great regisseur?"

Bakura took his earphones off; Marik could hear the fading sounds of one Elisabeth-Songs. A choir sung "All of you dance with the Death but no one like Elisabeth""Who the fuck is Elisabeth?" "The empress of Austria and Hungary,former countess of Bavaria, married to empress Franz-Joseph on 24.4.1854... why you ask?" Eeerie silence. Crickets chirping could be heard. That bush-thingy from the desert dropped by. "Never mind."

"That´s an owl." Bakura said after he got that bird out of Marik´s (well, he called it so) hair. He held the bird by its claws. "Fucking great. An owl." Marik said. "How can you make an owl do..." but he was interrupted by a tug on his shirt. "There´s a letter attached to that bird´s leg." Marik considered it quickly...nope, no one of his online friends would send him message via owl...and he doubted it that they got bird-messenger-services at the asylum, or the hospital, or in jail...

"What does it say? It´s not from one of my stalkers? Is it? I bet it is.!"

To Mr Marik Ishtar and Mr unreadable-stain-where-my-first-name-belongs Bakura

The two most disgusting/disturbing rooms in this universe

The loft in domino

Japan

"Hey, go on, feel that!" Bakura seemed excited somehow. Marik shrugged and slid his fingers over the letter. "And?" he asked. "That is parchment. Really exquisite and really expensive material." If this were an US cartoon, there would have been Dollar-signs popping out of Bakura´s eyes. But since they were in Japan and Bakura consiered the dollar (and paper money in general) as weak currency, there would have been juwels popping out of his eyes...which would be ridiculous. But back to our two favourite yamis.

"Is that green? Green blood? Blood from a leprechaun? Whose blood is this?" "Marik, that isn´t blood, it´s ink." "And how do you know?" "I licked it, no blood." "Oh." Tough argument. "And you´re definetely sure that this is no blood from..." "Yes, I am Marik."

Marik quickly took a dagger from his pocket. "Let me open it, lemme open it!" Bakura nicked the dagger from Marik´s hands. "What did the psychiatrist tell us about sharp, pointy objects?" Marik reminisced. "Argh! Argh! Get it out of me?" "What she said before that." "This things are dangerous and shouldn´t be used by mentally unstable persons?" "Right. And?" Marik blinked sheepishly."I don´t get it." "That´s my dagger you stupid moron." he knocked Marik with the handle over the head. "Don´t steal my stuff...or be at least not so easy caught. Here, hold that birdie while I´m opening this letter."

"Hey!! I want to open it, rip it, tear it apart, make it suffer..." While Marik was drooling, Bakura opened the envelope and received several sheets of parchment. "Marik! Where is that bloody bird?!" Marik tried to do puppy eyes. "I dunno." "Don´t tell me that´s a feather hanging outside your mouth!" "Alright, then I don´t say it." Bakura smashed his head on the wall. "How are we going to create a bird plague over domino without the damn bird?" "Oh. Didn´t think about that. Hey! What´s with those papers? Burn them? Do we burn them? Flames and sparks, and fire and ember, and people screaming..." "Marik...you´re drooling again."

Each of the yamis grabbed a sheet of paper and started reading. "Dear Mister Ishtar/Bakura, we are pleased to inform you bla blabla, magic school, blablabla, hogwarts, yadda yadda yadda, trimagic tournament, blablabla, wizards blablaaaa sincerely dumbledore." "Yo Bakura, sounds fun, neh?" "...Beating the crap out of foreign wizards, stealing magical items,rob a whole castle, make others look like complete idiots...sure, sounds fun."

"You don´t happen to have read a specific datum or something, do you?" Bakura asked. "Nope.Why?" "Funny. I just recalled having read something about right now" There was a pop and suddenly there was an old man standing in their living room. He had a long silvery beard and long silvery hair that stuck in his belt. He wore a purple robe and looked like

"Saruman!" Bakura bolted upright. "That is so cool, I met Saruman. Saruman, Saruman" He danced happily round that strange guy. The guy smiled and waved slightly. "Apparently, I´m not Saruman. My name is" "I knew it! Hah! He´s Gandalf!" Now Marik danced around. He grabbed Gandalf´s (?) hand. "How was it to be dead? Killed by the Balrog? Fire and shadows, and death and corpses..." Bakura dragged Marik away "Never mind the drooling." he said to calm Saruman. "What I was trying to say was that"began the bearded man "Now, tell me...how did you made those Uruk-Hai? I want to try that sort of thing out, tellme tellme tellme" Suddenly the wizard( he looked like one) seemed to grow, the area became darker, his voice turned lower and creepy when he said "Listen to me. I am" "Told you so! Gandalf!" Marik exclaimed happily.

The declared Gandalf whacked himself on his forehead. "Fine here you go. I´m Gandalf and I´m going to invite you to a schools for wizards where you can attend to a magical tournament and don´t get confused when the headmaster looks exactly like me. Right?" Both yamis nodded in unison. "Do we get to curse people? Ban people? Use shadow magic?" Bakura clapped his hand over his own mouth. "Don´t tell me I just sounded like Marik." Gandalf rolled his eyes. "Then I suppose I´m not telling it. Anyway, are you ready to go? Flavoured bean anyone?"

Bakura fetched a suitcase from his room. "I´m ready." "Why do you have a fully packed ready-to-go suitcase in your room?" Bakura shrugged. "What´s wrong with being prepared? Remember last Halloween, when you made Malik go on sugar high?" Marik hesitated. "Yes?" he answered, not sure if he wanted to know what Bakura wanted to say. Said yami continued "I would have wished for that suitcase then." Gandalf pulled out a golden watch. "I just wanted to make sure you´re coming or not. On September 1st we will be in London, Kings Cross, platform 9 ¾" "Did he say Kings Cross?!" Marik sighed and padded Gandalf on the shoulder. "Never mention "King" when he´s around. Stupid thing." Meanwhile Bakura was rambling about injustice, that damn king of games, his past life as king of thieves, how great it had been, how much he hated the pharaoh, how much he wished the king of game and his friends dead, how...yaddayaddayadda.

"Is he often like that?" asked Gandalf. Marik, who was absently-minded chewing on a bloody thing replied "No, normally he would rush off now and try to humiliate one guy we know.Waaaait, isn´t today the 1st of..." Suddenly Bakura ran to his bedroom, muttering something about my-deck, That-dwarf-will-pay and god-save-the-king-cause-nobody-else-is-going-to. "If you speak of the devil..." Marik said. Bakura´s head appeared at the door. "Did you just mention Daddy?" "Everything´s fine, just keep on looking for your cards."

Gandalf searched his pockets. "Here are your train tickets. The train leaves at 1 pm. I´m taking you to the station, if that´s alright with you. Is it?" Marik nodded. "Sounds nice to me. Oooooooooohh, wait a tic... just a tiny-little-itsy-bitsy question...is it an old train? I love locomotives, but I got an electric shock when I tried to eat the last one...I like those old fashioned steam locomotives. They´re really delicious, I could eat a dozen of these...It´s not one of these, is it?" Gandalf looked scared. The he made up his mind.

"On second thought, it´s better to go straight to the school if you don´t mind." "Alright with me." a voice from the next room shouted. Marik looked slightly disappointed. But he shrugged and said it´s o.k. "Oy, Bakura?" The white-haired yami peaked out of his room "Waddya want?" "Gandalf said we´re leaving." "OK, jus wait a sec. I can´t decide which of my babies I should bring along." Marik rushed to his collection of daggers. He simply shoved all of them into a sports bag. "I have packed." he announced.

Bakura came out of his room. He caressed a curved, silvery dagger. "Shhh, it´s alright, baby, I would have never let you here. You´re coming with me everywhere I go, we will always be together, sweet baby, sweet sweet baby...Whaddya lookin at?!"

This eerie silene came back.When the desert-thingy returned one of Bertie Bott´s Beans fell on the floor. Bakura grabbed a pen and scribbled something on the back of the parchment and lay it on the table. Both yamis lifted their bag/suitcase and faced Gandalf. Which held out an empty bottle. "That´s a portkey," he explained, "it will bring us to the place we need. You only have to touch it with one tip of your finger." The yamis placed their hands on that bottle. They were confronted with so many crazy stuff in their lifes/afterlifes that a stupid bottle-port-key was not even in the top 1000. "Ready-Steady-Go!" anounced Bakura when they were sucked to Hogwarts by the portkey.

Beware it´s the author. It´s alive. And it can talk:

I simply had to do this.

Don´t sue me. Or else I give Marik your address and tell him you hid his pills.