Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

ANOTHER'S EYES

It was a warm night on Kelvoris, a sparsely populated m-class planet that was home to one of the Federation's most prestigious universities. While small in size, its staff and students were of the finest caliber and many of the Federation's greatest minds were graduates. But as he walked alone in the grounds, tall trees shining silver in the moonlight, it was not those famous scientists Chakotay was thinking about. It was of a famous captain, now admiral, light years away on Earth. He missed her, more than he had ever imagined he would, and he knew, despite all his best efforts to stop, that he still loved her. It seemed more than ever. But their lives were parallel lines now, distant and never touching. It had been months since they'd last talked and almost a year since they'd last seen each other.

A year.

Too long.

And yet not long enough for him to get over her. If only he had the courage to tell her how he felt. For what was there to lose? What was at stake? Nothing anymore. Not a command structure, not even a friendship as they were now barely acquaintances. But he didn't have the courage. Kathryn had a new life now, a life of infinite promise, and he couldn't ask her for a place in it. Perhaps there wasn't even a vacancy. She could have her pick of men, handsome and distinguished admirals, and he didn't stand a chance.

Not now.

Then, unexpectedly, a voice called to him. A voice he didn't recognize but was definitely female.

"Chakotay...Captain Chakotay!"

Chakotay turned around and saw a woman of about his age approach. She had long brown hair, which was loose over her shoulders, and was wearing a dress that was as green as her eyes.

"I'm sorry to intrude on your solitude," she said, "but I'd just like to say how much I enjoyed your recent article on the ancient ruins of Jetrys."

"Thank you," Chakotay smiled. "But I'm surprised you've read it. Readership of that journal is small."

"We're at a stellar archaeology convention," she laughed. "Everyone here reads that journal."

Chakotay laughed too. "I guess so."

His eyes and the woman's locked and his heart skipped a beat. There was something about her that was captivating. Something familiar, yet unfamiliar. And if he was gazing, she was too. Then her eyes left his and moved to his right cheek, his cheek that was disfigured by a scar. It was long and jagged, red and raised, and very visible. Conscious that she was looking at it, and feeling uncomfortable, Chakotay stepped back.

"Well, it was nice to meet you," he said. "Enjoy the rest of the evening."

But before he could turn to leave, the woman caught his arm. "I'll enjoy it a lot more if you'll have dinner with me."

The words took Chakotay by surprise. While women had never been backwards in coming forwards with him, few had ever been so bold and none since his disfigurement.

"Thank you," he said, intending to decline, "but I..."

"Don't intend to eat tonight?" she interrupted.

"No," he replied, "I mean yes, I mean no..."

The woman smiled. "Some questions don't have a simple answer, do they? But my invitation does. In fact, I'll only accept the affirmative."

Chakotay smiled back. He could do nothing else. There was an undeniable spark between them and it felt good.

"Then the affirmative it is," he said.

"Good. So, where do you fancy? The restaurant in the park or the bistro by the river?"

Chakotay's eyes twinkled with amusement. "You don't waste time, do you?"

"None to waste in this universe. So, what's it to be?"

"I'll let you decide," he smiled.

"Then the restaurant in the park. Makes most sense as we're almost there."

"Almost," Chakotay agreed. "But before we head there, how about you tell me your name?"

"You know my name," she said. "We're acquainted."

Chakotay frowned. "I don't think so."

"We are. And I'm sure over dinner you'll recall me." She smiled, straightened her shoulders, and then gestured to the path ahead. "Come on, best foot forward!"

When they got to the restaurant, which was not as busy as Chakotay expected it to be, they were greeted by a young waitress who recognized him immediately.

"Commander Chakotay," she said, "I mean Captain, welcome. It's an honor to have you here."

"Thank you," Chakotay smiled.

"Is there anywhere in particular you would like to sit? If the table is taken, I'll ask the occupiers to move."

"That won't be necessary. Any vacant table will suffice."

"Oh, but you'll want a view, Sir. The park is lovely at night, especially the lake. You must have a window table. And I think we have a few vacant ones on the top floor. The best place for a view. But before I take you there, would you be so kind as to give me your autograph? And one for my brother? He's ten and mad about Voyager."

"I'll be glad to."

The girl beamed a smile, unclipped a pad and pen from her blue uniform, and then handed them to him. "Thank you, Sir. Thank you. My brother's name is Ben, spelled the usual way, and mine is Anya, spelled A.N.Y.A."

Chakotay dedicated his autographs accordingly, much to the girl's delight, and then she showed him and his guest to their table. The top floor was three floors up and it was much busier than the ground, but there was, as the girl had said, a lovely view of the park.

"When you're ready to order, Sir," she said as he and the woman sat at a window table for two, "just press this button here..." she pointed to a silver button in the middle of the table, "and someone will attend you."

"Understood," Chakotay answered. "Thank you, Anya."

"You're welcome, Sir. Enjoy your meal. And you, Ma'am."

The girl then left and Chakotay looked again at the woman before him. She was very attractive, even with hair too dark for her skin, and seemed highly intelligent. Their conversation enroute to the restaurant had been riveting and her interest in science was clearly professional not amateur. Perhaps she was a scientist or professor. But how did he know her? He was still clueless.

"The waitress was right about the view," the woman said, turning from his gaze to the window. "The park does look wonderful from here. The trees must be every shade of green and I love the way the rainbow lights around the lake trail into the mountains, which are spectacular in themselves. I don't think I've ever seen any as tall."

"Me either," Chakotay replied. "Not even on my homeworld, Trebus, even though the smallest there is as high as Everest."

"Really? I didn't know that."

Chakotay questioned curiously. "Should you know it?"

"Maybe."

The woman then flashed him a smile and picked up a menu, which was bound in red velvet.

"My," she said, looking through it, "what a selection! How is one ever to choose? But thankfully the vegetarian section is short. "

"You're a vegetarian?" Chakotay remarked, picking up a menu too.

"No," she replied, "but I know you are. It wouldn't be polite to gauge myself on a lobster."

Chakotay smiled. "Is that what you fancied?"

"Oh no. I like crustaceans, they're fascinating creatures, but not on my plate. They belong in the sea...and so do their claws."

Chakotay laughed. "Bad experience?"

"Once, a long time ago, but I won't go into it. Besides, it was my fault. Any creature would snap if it was being swung to and fro by a six year old."

Chakotay laughed again. This woman sure was funny. Fascinating and witty too. And he ached to recall her. Ached to know her name.

"You say we know each other," he said, probing, "but I still don't know how. Care to give me a clue?"

"No," she answered bluntly. "You'll figure it out. Now, are you ready to order? Because I'm guessing you'll have the Risotto."

Chakotay nodded, the dish his favorite, and the woman pressed the order button. In seconds a waiter was before them.

"I'll have the vegetarian risotto," she smiled, "and a glass of sparkling water."

The waiter noted her choice and then turned to Chakotay. "Sir?"

"The same," he declared.

The waiter then went on his way and Chakotay studied this mysterious woman again.

"How did you know I'd choose the risotto?" he asked. "We can't have known each other that well. I'd know you if we had...unless we met in some kind of out of time experience that I've forgotten."

"I'm sure we've met in many out of time experiences," she replied, "but that's not how we know each other."

"Then have we worked together? Served on a ship together?"

"Maybe."

Chakotay smiled. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? You're enjoying keeping me guessing."

"I wouldn't have to keep you guessing if you guessed right."

Their eyes locked and Chakotay could hardly breathe. This woman mesmerized him. Made all his senses come alive. But in awaking a yearning, she also awakened a longing.

A longing that never left him.

A longing for the woman he loved.

A longing for Kathryn.

And in thinking of her, in longing for her, his heart fell heavy.

"I'm attending the Ryzilian artefact display tomorrow," the woman then said. "Would you like to join me?"

"I'm afraid I won't be here tomorrow," Chakotay replied. "In fact, I'll be leaving in a couple of hours. My crew and I are only here for today."

The woman was visibly disappointed. "I see."

"We'd have liked to stay for the entire event, but we're already behind schedule so can't afford to."

"I understand." Tears then filled the woman's pretty emerald eyes. Tears of pain yet of infinite affection. So much affection that Chakotay could only look away from them.

Look away and bury the rising hope inside.

The hope that this woman was Kathryn in disguise.

A hope he would not let himself indulge.

Then he felt the woman's hand on his, her right on his left, soft and gentle.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she said. "You and your crew who saved those Cardassian children."

Five months earlier, in a dangerous region of deep space, a civilian Cardassian ship carrying orphaned children back to the Empire had crash landed on a demon class planet. Had they not been rescued by a passing Starfleet crew, all onboard would have perished. The crew, who wished to remain anonymous, had braved the planet's toxic and ferocious atmosphere to rescue the children, and while no one had died, there had been reports of serious and life changing injuries.

"Yes," Chakotay conceded. "It was us."

A tear ran down the woman's cheek. "I...I don't know what to say. After what happened to your family...after what the Cardassians did...that was so incredibly selfless."

"None of us are responsible for the crimes of another. I couldn't let those children die. Not if we could save them."

"But still, it was an amazing act of compassion. Not to mention of courage. You're a good man, Chakotay. The finest there is. You don't deserve...don't deserve the hand that fate has dealt you."

"The hand hasn't been so bad," he said sincerely. "Millions, if not billions, have had it worse." He paused. "But how did you guess it was us? I mean, me and my crew? The identity of the rescuers has never been disclosed."

"No, it hasn't. But every scar tells a story and yours, at least to me, tells this one. How else would you have it? Wounds, especially burns, rarely scar these days. They only do if there's a delay in treatment or in the event of extreme toxic exposure. There's no environment as toxic as a demon class planet's. I heard that the rescuing ship's Captain was among the injured. If his injuries were burns, and that Captain was you, then the scar is explained."

For a long time, Chakotay said nothing, then he finally spoke.

"That's very perceptive of you. But please, keep all this to yourself. Most people think the scar is just a battle wound and I'd like it to stay that way."

"But why? You're a hero and should be applauded as one."

"I didn't save those children to be a hero. Neither do I want applause. It's enough for me that they live. Besides, with my history, it could look like...Well, let's just say the media would have a field day. I don't want that kind of attention. I'm in the news more than I would like already."

"I understand. But you should have told your friends, Chakotay. You should have..."

But before she could finish, a waitress arrived with their meal on a trolley.

"Sir, Madam, your meal."

Chakotay barely heard the girl, all his attention was on the woman. But as that thought knocked on the door of his mind again, that thought he wouldn't let himself think, he turned from her to the waitress.

"Thank you," he said.

"Would you like some wine, Sir?" she asked. "We have a wide selection of real and replicated."

"No, thank you," he replied. "Water is just fine."

"For me too," the woman told her. "But I could do with a top up."

"I'll give you a bottle, Ma'am."

With that, the girl reached for one on the trolley, opened it, and placed it on the table.

"Anything else I can get you, Sir, Ma'am?"

"No," they replied, almost in unison. "Thank you."

The girl nodded, tidied her trolley, and then departed.

"Boy," the woman said as she left. "This risotto smells good!"

"Yes," Chakotay agreed.

"But what are these spiky little stalks? They look like they could do one an injury!"

"They're dramisel," Chakotay smiled. "Native to this sector, very tasty, and perfectly harmless."

"Really? Then I'll take your word for it!"

With gusto, she tucked into the dish, clearly hungry, but soon was sputtering and reaching for her glass.

"Oh hell," she cried. "Oh hot!"

Chakotay laughed, harder than he had in a long time, and offered her a bread roll.

"Here," he said, "it will help more than the water."

The woman took the bread, which did the trick, and then scowled at him.

"You devil, Mr Chakotay. You said the dramsies...or whatever they're called...are harmless!"

"They are," he answered, eyes twinkling. "Just hot."

The woman curled her lip, curled it in a dearly familiar way, and then reclined in her chair.

"Well, I'll get even some day. You mark my words!"

Chakotay smiled, but his heart was sad again. Sad and lonely.

Lonely without Kathryn.

And the woman noticed his sadness.

"You smile," she said, "even laugh, but there's a sorrow in your eyes. Care to share it with me?"

"No," he replied. "And I'm not sorrowful. I just..."

The woman finished the sentence he could not. "Miss someone, maybe?"

Chakotay's eyes flew to hers, searching them with his soul, but then he turned to the window and avoided the question.

"There's the remains of an ancient temple on the mountain," he said. "You might want to visit it before you leave."

"I already have," the woman declared. "It's quite spectacular."

"It is. And almost a million years old. Hard to comprehend."

"Oh, I don't know," she teased, lightening the mood, "your dinner soon will be if you don't get stuck in."

"You're right," he smiled. "At least, it will be cold."

"With those damsies? Not in a million years!"

Chakotay laughed, he had to, and the woman laughed too. Then they began to eat. As they did, they talked more about the temple, and then their conversation drifted back to the Cardassian rescue.

"Just how badly were you injured?" the woman asked. "How close was the call?"

"Pretty close. But not from my injuries. The danger was in the rescuing. One little girl was trapped in a bathroom and I had to wade through a burning corridor to reach her. By the time I freed her, for she was trapped beneath a boulder, the exit was blocked up by falling debris and I had to dig us a way out. The corridor was nothing but fire now, the flames like none I'd ever seen. They were feeding on the toxic air seeping in through deadly cracks and were roaring like a hurricane. I wrapped the child in a fire proof blanket, which I had in my rucksack, and then plowed through the flames with her in my arms. My colleague was waiting, and took her to safety, but I went back to look for a little boy who was trapped in a classroom nearby. But while I was in the corridor something fell on me, hitting me hard, and I blacked out. When I came around, my face felt like it was on fire and I noticed a crack in my helmet. There were also rips in my suit. I tried to stay focused, and resumed my quest for the boy, and against all odds I found him. He was unconscious, and burned, but alive. I wrapped him in the blanket, which I'd put back in my rucksack, and somehow I managed to get him to safety. He was the last of the missing children so we left the ship and went back to our own. As our resources are limited, we had the children treated first then us. Most of my injuries our doctor could heal, but some burns, like the one on my face, left a scar."

"I'm sorry. But medical advances are being made all the time. You may not be scarred forever."

"No. In fact there's a specialist on Earth who may be able to help, but I'm in no rush to go there. It would mean resigning my commission and I have commitments to honor and work to complete."

"I understand," the woman said, almost sadly. "Honoring our commitments is important."

Chakotay topped up his drink. "What about you? What's your profession? Or am I to guess that too?"

"I don't think you could," she answered. "At least, not my present one. I'm a researcher on Starbase FX10. Which is why I'm at this convention. I couldn't be so close and miss it."

"What are you researching?"

"I can't say. It's classified. But I hope to publish my findings. I just hope my writing skills aren't too rusty. It's been a long time since I undertook work of this kind. While I joined Starfleet to be a scientist and explorer, somewhere along the line I fell into command and have been in it ever since. Not that I haven't made a difference, I know I have, but apart from a couple of theses I have nothing in the way of literature to my name. I want to change that. I mean to change it." She then flushed and fidgeted. "But I've just said too much, haven't I? I've just given everything away?"

"No," he said quietly, deceiving himself more than her. "No, you haven't."

"Then maybe you'll figure me out over dessert. But, to up the stakes, I won't have my usual. I'll have the...let me see, apple strudel with veraneze custard."

Chakotay smiled, his amusement obvious, and the woman put down her menu.

"Or maybe I won't have the apple strudle with veraneze custard. But share the joke, Sir. Tell me what's wrong with it."

"Nothing," he answered, "with the strudel."

"And the custard?"

"Has such a kick you'll think you've been hit with a Klingon Bat'leth."

The woman laughed. "Then I'll give it a miss. But you've clearly dined here before."

"I confess I have. But it was a while ago."

"But recent enough for you to know all the punches. The vanilla ice cream ok?"

Chakotay nodded. "To the best of my knowledge."

"Then I'll have the vanilla ice cream."

She smiled, sat up straight, and then pressed the order button.

When the meal was over, Chakotay and the woman walked back to the convention center through the park. They took the long route around the lake and laughed and talked as they walked.

"So," the woman said as they stopped to admire a pair of silver swans that elegantly took to flight, "have you figured out who I am yet?"

"No," Chakotay replied.

"But I do remind you of someone."

Chakotay lowered his eyes. "Yes."

"Someone, maybe, you wish was here. Someone, maybe, you think I am but are afraid to say."

At that, tears filled Chakotay's eyes and he turned back to the lake. Turned and gazed out at the glittering water.

"But you don't have to be afraid to say it," the woman went on. "You don't even have to say it. I know you know. And I know because if you didn't then you'd still be pestering me for clues to my identity. But your silence says it all."

A tear ran down Chakotay's cheek. "I don't know who you are," he said, "or why you're here, but I think it's time we said goodnight."

"I told you why I'm here, Chakotay, for the convention. But that's not the only reason. I'm here because...because I hoped you would be too. And yes, I'm Kathryn. I'm just...well, I'm in disguise."

Chakotay turned to her. "I don't believe you. I want to, and you're right that the thought has crossed my mind, but I don't. For all I know, you're a journalist who only has one agenda with me, and that's a story."

"A journalist? You think I'm a journalist?"

"I think you could be. Maybe you figured out it was me and my crew who rescued those children and you wanted information. Well, you got it."

"You couldn't be more wrong, Chakotay."

"Then prove me so. For why would Kathryn come here in disguise?"

"Why do you think? Because of all the attention. Wherever I go, Chakotay, I'm instantly recognized. I just wanted to be ordinary for a while. To blend in with the crowd. If it was known I'm here than I'd have no peace. We'd have no peace. There are eyes enough upon us because of your celebrity. With mine too we'd be hounded."

Chakotay could not deny that. While he was famous, Kathryn was more so, and crowds gathered wherever she went. Being such a private person it had to be hard for her. But was this woman really Kathryn? Could he let his heart believe it?

"And if you're wondering why I didn't tell you right away," she went on, "why I've played this game, it's because I thought it would be a bit of mutual fun. I never meant to hurt you. I also wanted...well, I wanted to spend time with you. As myself, I wasn't sure you'd give me that time. You've been distant and evasive for months and I haven't known why. I still don't."

Chakotay said nothing. There was nothing he felt he could say.

"But if you're struggling to believe it's really me, and I understand as I probably would in the reverse, then let's go to my hotel suite and you can verify my identity with a tricorder. My biosignature is the same. I can also unmask, but it will take a doctor."

There was a long silence, then Chakotay spoke.

"That won't be necessary," he said. "I believe you. I believe you're Kathryn. More than that, I "feel" that you are. I've felt it all night."

Kathryn put her hand on his arm. "Then what was all that about me being a journalist?"

"I don't know. Perhaps because half of me hoped you are."

"But why would you hope that? Is my presence so unwelcome to you?"

Tears flooded his eyes. "No. Quite the contrary. I've missed you, more than you can ever imagine. I just...I know you haven't missed me."

"Haven't missed you? Oh Chakotay, of course I've missed you. I've missed you with all my heart and soul. Not a day has gone by without me thinking about you."

"Then why haven't you been in touch?"

"Why haven't you? I've waited months and months for a reply to my letter."

"You wrote to me?"

"Six months ago. Didn't you get my letter?"

"No. But our ship was badly damaged in an alien attack about then and we lost a lot of data, including a recent stream from Earth. I guess your letter was a casualty. I'm sorry."

"So am I. But I guess it wasn't meant to be."

"What did your letter say?"

"Nothing important. I just rambled on about my new apartment in San Francisco and my new life as an admiral. I also asked how you were getting on. But all that's old news now. I no longer have the apartment and am no longer based at Starfleet Headquarters. The starbase is my home now and will be for the next five years."

"That's a long time," Chakotay said sadly. "What happened to your dream of a lodge in the mountains?"

"Life happened, I guess. And that was your dream too...of a home in the wilderness. But look at you now? You're back on a ship in a chain of command, though granted at the top of it."

"Yes," he confessed. "But my heart still longs for that lodge."

"Mine too."

Their eyes locked, just for a moment, then Kathryn averted hers.

"My heart longs for so many things," she said.

"Like what?"

"Like love," she whispered.

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "And there's no reason why you can't have it. You can have any man you want."

At that, Kathryn raised her eyes, tears brimming them. "Not any man," she said. "Not you."

Chakotay flinched. "Me?"

Kathryn nodded. "I love you, Chakotay. Maybe I shouldn't say so, but I want you to know. I need you to know."

At those words, Chakotay withdrew his hand and turned away. "I love you too, Kathryn. I always have and I always will. But you deserve a better man than me. I knew that on Voyager and I know it now."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek. "A better man? There's no better man than you."

"But there is. There's admirals and...and men without scars."

Slowly, gently, Kathryn turned him to her. "Your scars make no difference, Chakotay. How could they? My eyes don't see them. All I see is you."

"But..."

Kathryn silenced him with a finger on the lips. "No buts." She then tenderly brushed her fingers against his scar. "I love you for you, Chakotay. I love you for your strength, your courage, your wisdom and your kindness. I don't want an admiral. I just want you."

Chakotay wept softly, he couldn't help it, and Kathryn gathered him close.

"If you want me too, Chakotay. I'm yours."

"Of course I want you," he said, holding her tight. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything. I love you more than anyone or anything. And I'll do whatever it takes. I'll give up captaining, apply for a post on the starbase. Then we can be together."

Kathryn smiled. "That's one way. But I think we can do better." She drew away, her disguised eyes sparkling. "Let's follow our hearts, Chakotay, and make our dream come true. Let's find ourselves a wilderness in the Sierras and build ourselves a lodge."

How much Chakotay wanted that, he could never put into words. But he didn't have to. The joy in his eyes told her. But then the joy faded.

"What about your research?"

"To hell with it. I'll write something about our journey in the Delta Quadrant instead."

"But..."

Kathryn's finger silenced him again. "We can't wait five years, Chakotay. We've waited too long already. But I want you to finish your commission."

"No," he replied. "I'll resign it and work my notice only."

"But what about your commitments?"

"I'll have time to honor the majority. The most important thing to me is being with you. But are you sure, Kathryn. Are you sure you...?"

"I am," she interrupted. "The question is, are you?"

He nodded. "With every fiber of my being."

"Then we have consensus. But I want you to promise me one thing, ok? I want you to promise me that while we're apart you won't let all your doubts and insecurities change your mind. I depend on your strength, Chakotay. I always have."

"I promise," he said. "I promise I won't change my mind. And I'm sorry. I've been a fool."

"Yes," she smiled, "you have. An almighty galactical one. But so have I."

"Then I'm glad we've both come to our senses." He brushed his fingers against her cheek. "But I wish I could see your face...my Kathryn's face."

Kathryn took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "You will. In three months time, three months to today at noon, we'll meet at the Kern River, at our favorite spot, and we'll explore the wilderness together. Just you and me and our dreams."

"Sounds like heaven."

"It will be. We'll find the place for our lodge, we'll build it, and we'll live there together. We'll have a dog, maybe two, and some horses, hens, and goats."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "Horses, hens, and goats? Are you really Kathryn Janeway?"

Kathryn laughed. "I am, I assure you. I'm just the me there wasn't much time for on Voyager. The me I hope you can love as much as the captain."

Chakotay looked deep into her eyes. "Not as much. More."

Kathryn smiled, eyes moist, and then raised her lips to his in a tender kiss. Chakotay kissed her back and then they held each other tight.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Beneath a hot Californian sun, in the heart of the southern Sierras, Chakotay waited on a rocky bank of the River Kern for Kathryn. He was dressed for the terrain, wearing black jeans, a blue shirt, and brown boots that matched the stetson on his head, and at his feet was a rucksack of supplies. His scar was less visible now, time fading it, and he looked happier and healthier than ever. But as he waited, looking out at the dusty mountains, he had no idea if Kathryn would really come. That night on Kelvoris they had agreed to meet in this place, at this time, but he still sometimes wondered if all that had happened was real. It felt like a dream or some out of time experience. He and Kathryn had not seen each other since, or communicated in any way, so the only way he would know if that night had been real, and that the woman had been her, was if she showed up.

And then, to his infinite joy, she did.

Beside the river a blue transporter beam glowed and she materialized.

His Kathryn.

Not a woman with long brown hair and green eyes, but his Kathryn in blue jeans, a white shirt, and a tan cowgirl hat. She smiled as their eyes met and was clearly as delighted to see him as he was to see her.

Then, to Chakotay's great amusement, he noticed two horses beside her. One was black, the other brown, and both were saddled.

"I thought we'd explore in style," Kathryn explained.

Chakotay laughed, as did she, then they came together and hugged each other hard.

THE END