Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, if I did, there would be more crack, and Aizen would sound like he is on helium.

Description: "Ikkaku, Yumichika, I would like to play a game". Saw inspired fic! (No gore, sorry kiddies! XD)

Ikkaku's eyes fluttered open and he groaned, he looked around the dark room, bloody hand print and stains covered the dimly lit walls. The long rectangle of light flickered giving some aid to his vision. He gasped as he saw Yumichika sat on a chair across from him; he had a weird contraption on his head that looked like a bird cage, "Y-yumi!" He leaned forward but was stopped by the surgical straps on his wrists, ankles and around his chest.

"W-what the hell!? Y-yumi! What the hell is going on!", "I-i-i don't know...I woke here just a few minutes before you..." they looked at each other trying to make sense of it all.

A low hum filled the room and a television switched on showing a chappy bunny doll with odd facial swirls. They both blinked and tensed as it began to speak with an oddly deep and, edited? Voice.

"Hello, C- Yumichika, Ikkaku. I want to play a game. You see, that device is called a 'reverse bear trap' and when the time runs out it will break your skull wide open" Yumichika's eyes widened and he screamed "what the!? This is crazy! You can't do this!"

"Uh-yes I can! k- I mean, shut up! The key to the device is located..." Yumichika growled impatiently, "WHERE!? Where is the damn key!?"

"Nyuh! Shut up I was eating my animal crackers!...yum...oh and about the key..." Munching noises was all they could hear, "DAMN IT TELL ME WHERE THE KEY IS!" Yumichika jumped out his chair, feeling a tug at his head he turned to see that some sort of key was tugged out of the odd head piece and a loud ticking now ringed through it, he turned to see Ikkaku wide eyed with shock.

"What is it?" Ikkaku looked past Yumichika and stuttered, "t-t-timer!". He turned to see the neon green glow of a digital clock and he yelped, "t-two minutes!?" he ran towards the television and screamed "THE KEY! NOW! TELL ME NOW!"

A sipping noise made his eye twitch, "Awwwww! My milk is finished...hmmpf...oh and about the key...", "TELL ME WHERE THE HELL IT IS YOU IDIOT!", "...I forgot where I put it..." Yumichika's eyes watered and he let out a scream, "OH! I remember now!...", "STOP WASTING THE TIME! IVE ONLY GOT A MINUTE LEFT!", "Hehehe! It's in Ikkaku's bald head!" Ikkaku froze as the other fell to his knees.

"Y-yumi...y-y-you...there must be another way!" he cried out, seeing Yumichika was shaking.

"I-I-cant...I can't do it..." He managed through sobs as he turned to Ikkaku, tears streaming from both their eyes.

"Awwww! But you're supposed to break his head open! And save yourself! It's a game remember!?" the voice wined.

"Yumi, p-please save yourself! I don't care if it's not a warriors death, a death at your hands is just as good.." Ikkaku smiled and Yumichika walked towards him slowly.

"P-please yumi, you only have 30 seconds left!-" he cried but was cut off when Yumichika hugged him tightly around his neck and rested is chin on his shoulder, "Please forgive me, my dearest friend" he whispered.

10, "Y-yumi?"

9

8

7 "Y-YUMI !?"

6

5 "YUMI PLEASE!"

4

3 "YUMI !"

2

1 "NOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, both their eyes were flooded with tears as the ticking stopped. An eternity of silence seemed to pass and both of them blinked.

"Why...What?" Ikkaku blinked seeing his friend stand, his head still intact, it was then that camera used by their captor moved to show Yachiru and Kenpachi rolling around on the floor laughing. "See Kenny! I told you! I could make them cry under two minutes!"

They both sat there, their eyes twitching with anger, "as soon as we get out of here...I'm burning ALL her dollies" Ikkaku growled, "and he's getting sewer cleaning duty".

Yumichika untied Ikkaku and they walked towards the door, they opened it to see...the Kuchiki manor?

"..." The two turned to see a confused Byakuya, "Oh! Hey Captain Kuchiki!" Ikkaku waved nervously.

"...Scatter, Senbonzakura", and they both screamed as they blasted off into the sunset.

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