It began like many other days in Soul Society, but would soon become one shrouded in myth and legend.

As always, Kenpachi Zaraki was up early. A quick run-through of his Kendo skills, then a lightning fast shower, and a short breakfast.

During his practice of the Kendo forms, he had to flip his hair over his shoulder- he hadn't gelled it yet. I'll get to that later... hmm. I think I'll go for thirteen spikes today. But when Kenpachi had a sword in his hand, his focus was nearly unbreakable, and so he quickly forgot about his hair. His subconscious mind was persistant today, though, and it drifted away towards Captain-Commander Yamamoto. His command for Kenpachi to learn Kendo was one of the few orders he'd gladly obeyed, though no one would ever hear that. So, for the next few moments of his shadow sparring, he once again imagined he was dueling Yamamoto. And, as always, for some unfathomable reason he came up short. Heh... it's gonna happen some day, old man... Then, from their room, he heard Yachiru waking. What got her up this early? Kid usually sleeps like a log.

Looking at his sword for a second, he sheathed it and then walked off to take his shower. Yachiru was sitting up and stretching, facing away from him. Kenpachi smirked, and flicked closed the shower door. He turned on the hot water at full blast, immediately lathering up at full speed as soon as the water hit him. It took a only a handful of seconds to accomplish this, followed by another rinse. He only rinsed his hair, as the gel he used to put his hair in spikes fairly effectively kept out any dirt and sweat. Done in the shower, he switched off the water and toweled off fast enough to give himself a minor case of carpet burn. He valued his efficiency in the bathroom, as it freed up time for other things- like fighting.

Quickly, he put on his Captain's uniform, and walked over to the mirror cabinet. Glancing back into the room, Yachiru was now walking around and stretching, mumbling something about breakfast. He opened the cabinet, got out the bottle, and-

"WHAT?"

The shout had awoken the entire Squad, something Kenpachi immediately regretted- this was something he kept pretty low key; and only Yachiru and Yumichika Ayasegawa were allowed to talk to him about it. As the bottle shattered in his furious grip, he became aware of his squad members hurrying out into the courtyard. Well damn. This day just keeps getting better. Kenpachi threw on his eye patch, and went out to meet them.

The squad stood there, wiping the sleep out of their eyes in the pre-dawn light. Kenpachi stood back in the shadows, his dark hair invisible. "Listen up!" He grunted, throwing a meaningful look at Yumichika. "I've got- business to take care of today. I won't be around." He glared at the sleepy squad members, some of whom appeared to want an explanation of his business.

One of his new recruits actually had the stones to ask him. "A secret mission from the Captain-Commander, sir?"

"Yes," Kenpachi lied. "And it's personal." With that he spun around and walked back into the building.

First he would be stopping by the rendezvous spot. This is where Yumichika would usually leave it; as neither of them wanted to be seen transferring the bottle to the other. Pulling the slip of paper from his uniform, Kenpachi read-

Found something special for you! ;)

She said this had a wildflower extract in it-

called Hellflower, I think.

The stuff is supposed to useful for nearly any-

thing medicine-wise, and she'd only recently

found out its cosmetic uses. ;) After a little sweet talking

I managed to get the formula from her-

it's so simple! It only needs a few things you

could find here at the squad buildings, and

the Hellflower extract. So, I dug around a bit,

and there's some old crone out in Rukongai

that makes it- if you want, I'll just leave the

Hellflower extract here-

Kenpachi gritted his teeth, and crumpled up the paper. Later that day he had nodded to Yumichika, signaling the new arrangement suggested in the note would be acceptable. Well here goes nothing... He ducked into the secluded alley in Seiretei, and was about to remove the fake brick concealing the cubby hole when he heard someone coming up around the corner.

The young shinigami started. "C-Captain Zaraki! This is um, unexpected."

Kenpachi kept eye contact with the young man from Squad Three as he undid the sash around his uniform trousers. "Are you really just gonna stand there and watch me take a piss?"

"OH! Ah- I'll be leaving now. Sorry sir!" As the frightened shinigami ran off, Zaraki hastily redid the sash and removed the false brick.

Kenpachi swore loudly as he saw the contents- emptiness. Is this some frickin' prank, or something? He never forgets! Swearing again, he punched the wall, and it crumbled under the blow. On the other side of the wall were two shinigami who had previously thought they were alone. Kenpachi glared down at them and said nothing for an uncomfortably long moment, then walked away.

DAMN it, now I have to go to Rukongai? This is just wrong. Zaraki sighed. I can't even remember why I started putting my hair in spikes anyways. Maybe... But he knew he wouldn't. The spikes were too ingrained in his persona now: a bloodthirsty, ruthless warrior with an eye patch wouldn't have smooth and carefully groomed hair. Their hair would be as spiky and confrontational as the warrior themself. Again, he sighed. Best to just get this over with as soon... as... It was at this point Kenpachi remembered he had stated he was on a personal, secret mission from the Captain-Commander himself. And it's barely after dawn... too early to head back...

Using a flash step for the first time in years, Kenpachi raced off towards Rukongai.

Captain Unohana was in the infirmary, attending to a young shinigami who'd been in a training accident. He'd had a nasty case of flu, and when he sneezed during his sparring match he didn't bring up his sword fast enough and took a severe blow to his head, giving him a concussion and a gash on his brow.

The gash was healed easily enough- with barely a touch- but concussions took time to do, and the process worked best if the subject was asleep. She was about to use a bit of Kido to put him under when Isane Kotetsu, her lieutenant, ran up.

"Captain Unohana! Come quickly, her condition's destabilized and she's losing blood again!"

Unohana looked at the concussed shinigami for a second, and mouthed I'll be back as she rose to follow Isane. "How is she losing blood? I thought we had sealed the wound."

Isane looked distressed. "A muscle spasm shifted her intestines; their pressure and the spasm ruptured it..."

Captain Unohana frowned slightly. It must be a reaction to the residual acid from the Hollow's attack. There's no other explanation for a spasm that powerful if she was in stable condition. Engrossed in her speculations, Unohana almost didn't notice when Isane stopped beside the shinigami's cot. "Quickly," She said to Isane, "put her to sleep again. I'll focus on her stomach wounds."

Saying a few short phrases, Isane cast the sleep Kido as Unohana worked on the mess in the shinigami's stomach. It was a daunting task, working the spiritual energies of the spell to gently put the intestines back into place, while also working to close the whole wound. Though Unohana was an experienced healer and progressed at a steady pace, the shinigami's injury was verging on a worst case scenario. There would not be be much that even she could do if it got worse.

After a very tense fifty-six minutes and forty-eight seconds, Unohana exhaled and leaned back from the injured woman's cot. She took out a small cloth and dabbed away the beads of sweat beginning to form on her face. "Isane, fetch some fresh gauze and linens, and I'll get the Hellflower salve. We'll meet back here and re-dress her stomach wound."

Isane nodded. "Yes, Captain."

Unohana walks away from the cot towards the medicine cabinet in her office. This is where she usually keeps the Hellflower salve, which she always seem to be running low on, despite never actually running out. But this day has been a rush to keep up with an unstoppable tide of minor injuries(That common sense could have prevented,) that just all the shinigami insisted just had to be treated at the infirmary. Especially all those people from Eleventh Squad... Unohana thought. I understand why they're frequent visitors, but I genuinely think I have seen every member of that Squad here today. Unohana shook her head and sighed as she entered her infirmary office. I thought they looked up to Zaraki. Can't he keep them in line?

Unohana stepped over to her medicine cabinet, opened the door, and- "Well. This is unfortunate."

Kenpachi strolled up to Danzomaru, Guardian of the Black Ridge Gate, to Soul Society's North. "Eh, Danzo-san, let me through. I got some crap to deal with on the other side."

Danzomaru nodded, recognizing the hidden message. "Crap to deal with on the other side" generally meant he was on Gotei Thirteen errands, while "serious business over there" meant he was visiting Yachiru's grave and would not be back for a while. "Squad members acting up in Zaraki again?" Danzomaru asked, as he began to lift the gate.

"Heh, you know I don't waste my time with that," Kenpachi said with a smirk. "Old Man Genocide has something for me to take care of out there."

With a grunt and a mighty heave, Danzomaru lifted the gate. Yamamoto-sama personally sending the Kenpachi out on a mission...? This can't be good... at all... "Well... best of luck to you. I'm guessing you won't be coming back soon?" But Kenpachi was already walking into Rukongai. Wait! His hair...

The districts of Rukongai closer to the gates were the more affluent ones. And while they were the last places he wanted to be seen looking for what he needed, he had to admit he was most likely to find it here. Letting his feet do the walking, Kenpachi looked around the streets for a- Shit, I've never asked where Yumichika gets the gel from... A barber shop? I don't know, but that sounds about right. Though he didn't know it there was one just around the corner, but he kept walking forwards.

Kenpachi's trek to him on a wide circuit past the barber shop, weaving through narrow alleys, and even passing right by it twice. But finally, he saw the shop on his third trip near it. It was small, with a very tidy and unassuming look to it. Kenpachi casually busted through the wall. "Oi! I need to speak with whoever owns this place!" No one spoke for several seconds, somewhat stunned by a Captain busting through the wall. "Don't make me repeat myself..." He warned. A small, elegant woman stepped forwards then. "Outside," Kenpachi growled, and he kicked through the wall on the other side of the door and led the woman into an alley close by.

The woman nervously looked around. "We, uh, have some chairs available if you need a-"

"I'm looking for someone," Kenpachi cut in. "I've heard there's a hag out here who makes Hellflower extract. You're going to find her, and then I'm going to have a serious talk with her." Kenpachi leaned in. "And keep it quiet; this is personal."

The woman gulped. "Y-yes, Captain."

Kenpachi called over his shoulder as he walked away: "When ya find her, send someone for me. I'll be around," He said, waving his hand to indicate the general vicinity of the barber shop.

"Um, Captain?"

"What?"

"I hired her last week. She's in the shop..."

"...bring her out here."

"...she can barely walk. She stays in the back, mixing up the shampoos and conditioners."

Silently, Kenpachi followed the owner of the barber shop back into the parlor, and then to the back room. There were a few other employees in the room, but they promptly left at a glance from Kenpachi. "So, they tell me you have something I need."

"I'm too old for you, sweetie."

Irked, Kenpachi explained, "There's a hair gel I... use, it's supposed to have some crap called Hellflower extract in it. Do you have any of it?" I can't believe I'm having this conversation... Yumichika can never find out about this.

The ancient, wrinkled woman cackled. "I haven't had the extract for a while. Some handsome young devil with a long beard bought the last of it. Now hold on- lemme finish child- I haven't got any extract, but I might be able to make some more." She paused, waiting for Kenpachi.

He sighed. "How?"

She gleefully continued. "Well, first the Hellflowers have to be in bloom. I don't know if they will be, though, it's pretty late for thems to be poppin' up. Then, you take the-" The blunt force of Kenpachi's stare broke her monologue. "Okay, okay, you're in a hurry. Lissen, if ya can get me the Hellflowers, I could make ya the extract in only a few hours."

The Kenpachi, out picking flowers? ...but who else would do it? Yachiru would get lost, and I wouldn't ask anyone else from my Squad. They deserve better than some womanly shit like this... Kenpachi sighed. "Where do they grow?"

Despite using the occasional flash step, the journey took more than three hours. There was a brisk breeze in the mountain air, only a few clouds in the sky, and a vibrant cluster of purplish-red Hellflowers. The scene was idyllic, but Kenpachi was hardly the type to stop and smell the roses. Striding up towards the flowers, he could see that these were the last bunch in bloom: all the other plants had dropped their petals, exposing the seed pods. On a whim, he snatched up a handful of seed pods and stuffed them in his top. He was bending down to pick the Hellflowers, when he could hear someone coming up the mountainside.

As they came to a stop, the shinigami nearly gawked; not even in their wildest dreams would they have expected to find Kenpachi here. "Captain Zaraki... this is quite the surprise."

If I had it my way I wouldn't be here either, Retsu. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"I think I will. You see, all day I've been treating members of your squad- some of whom mentioned they felt especially compelled to defend your honor today." Unohana studied Kenpachi's face. His jaw was set a fraction less tighter than it normally would; for Kenpachi this was as nervous as she'd ever seen him. "And as I passed through Rukongai, I overheard the funniest little rumor: the Kenpachi had been sent by the Captain-Commander himself to eliminate a cult with a centuries-long conspiracy plot, and the cult operated under cover as a barber shop in Rukongai. I just can't imagine how an absurd piece of gossip like that got started."

"Well- I-" I was hoping I wouldn't need to explain this more than once- "...listen, Rets- Captain Unohana, a Kenpachi can't go around with his hair braided in front of him." He said, using Unohana's hairstyle as an example. "That's not who I am, or what my squad expects; that would be total bullshit if I did! And you know how I have my hair normally." Kenpachi heaved a deep sigh. "Let's both just forget today ever happened. I'll take these damn flowers and leav-"

"The Hellflowers? I think not, Captain Zaraki. I have a critically wounded patient in the infirmary who needs a salve made from them!"

"...I don't want to do this, Retsu."

"But I have to, Zaraki." This seemed to be an argument neither of them would win. Unohana continued to stare at Kenpachi, taking in the pained look in his eye. The stare-down stretched out for a few long minutes, when Kenpachi suddenly chuckled. He drew his sword, and began to laugh uproariously. I've always given him the benefit of the doubt, but I think he has just proved himself truly insane...

"Hit me, Retsu! DO IT!" Unohana opened her mouth to protest when Kenpachi swung at her. She blocked it with Minazuki, and grabbed his blade.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Does he have a death wis- wait. This is Kenpachi Zaraki, Retsu... Without warning Kenpachi aimed a shot at Unohana with his free hand, and she was forced to let go of his blade to block it.

A heartbeat later he was attacking furiously, swinging and slicing. Unohana enjoyed the rare use of her Kendo skill for a few moments, then disarmed Kenpachi. "What? Too afraid to hit me?"

Unohana sighed. "I won't need to, with that outrageous rumor you... started..." Perhaps he is more sane than any of us... "Pick up your sword. I won't hit a defenseless man..." Kenpachi happily did so, and Unohana began her attack.

He was better than she initially thought he would be, and actually had a slight amount of difficulty hitting him at first. The main difficulty for Unohana was not getting hit herself, which oddly seemed to get harder the more she hit him. His assault was relentless, not stopping as he was wounded and as the blood flowed freely from his cuts.

In Kenpachi's mind, he was once again dueling Yamamoto. He had come closer than he ever had before, but he still would not relent. His fastest, most precise techniques were still not enough to reach him. Kenpachi launched one last all-out attack, but once again he was disarmed and wounded. Back in reality now, he found himself on his knees before Unohana. His blood was speckled all over her Captain's jacket, and there were several drops on her face. With some difficulty Kenpachi stood and took off his own Captain's jacket, and wiped his blood from her face. He stared down into her eyes, and there was a moment of understanding between the two. Then Kenpachi smirked, and slung his jacket over his shoulder. Remembering the Hellflower seed pods in his top, he wordlessly handed them to Unohana.

"Tell Ayasegawa to visit me in the infirmary," Kenpachi said over his shoulder. "We have a few things we need to talk about."

EPILOGUE

"Messenger said there was a quick question you wanted to ask, Captain Yamamoto?"

"A very simple one," Yamamoto replied, a knowing, very serious, look in his eye. "Did you defeat the cult and end their conspiracy as I asked?"

"Oh yeah, that. So..." Over the next few minutes Kenpachi told Yamamoto of his attempt to retrieve the Hellflower extract.

"Aaahh, speaking of Hellflower extract," Yamamoto said, "it works miracles when massaged onto any sore spots. I bought some just the other day..."

THE END