WARNING: Daniel/Jack Slash.

All rights belong to their respectful owners.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first one I'm writing. I wrote it at about 430 in the morning to get this story out of my brain. Posted it and now a few hours later after getting a layout of the second chapter than going back to review the first chapter, I've realized there were certain things that I really wanted to fix, primarily the typos. So if you're reading this it would be the revised one. I don't expect anyone has actually read the original I posted considering it's only been a few hours since I posted and now am typing this note. Thanks for reading. Comments are great.

**Set during Season Two of the SG1 series**

CHAPTER ONE: The Reason I Stayed Behind

-Daniel's POV-

It was a little past midnight when the credits roll on the screen. I'm on Jack's couch on one end while he's sitting on the other. I don't even know what movie we were watching because, honestly, I had spent the entire time trying to figure out how to tell him. I figure now's the time as he's reaching over for the remotes to shut the TV off.

"Jack?" My voice is a bit shaky with nervousness.

"Daniel." I can feel his questioning eyes on me as I stare at the coffee table.

"About, um, Sha're..."

"We'll find her."

"I know but," I let out a shaky sigh, not able to go on.

"But?"

I take a moment to gather my thoughts. "At Abydos, when you left," I hesitate a moment. My voice is all cracked with nervousness. "She, well, she wasn't the main reason I stayed behind."

I chance a quick glance at Jack as he sat back toying with the remote when he started to talk.

"I guess. I figured as much, considering your deal with the rest of the geeks out there against your theories with the Goa'uld."

"No, that's not it. I could've handled it... I mean after years of ridicule, than meeting Catherine, I could have dealt with it."

A few more moments went by though it felt like hours. Jack broke the silence to ask me what the reason was if not for the Academia.

"Let's just say, while we were there I fell for someone I wasn't supposed to. Someone that was obviously straight, and to top it all off, it was someone, even if he wasn't; he couldn't have acted upon it because of his career. I knew if I came back then, I couldn't handle..." I choke on the last few words and just sat there with my hands fidgeting with the last button on the bottom of my shirt. "I sort of hid behind Sha're as an excuse."

"So, what? You're bi?"

My head jerks up to look at Jack in the eye. It wasn't so much as what he said but the way he said it. It must have been my imagination because I could have sworn there was some hint of desperation or something underneath that relaxed carelessness he was projecting.

"Don't look so surprised Danny. Just because I'm military doesn't mean I'm one of those jarheads that runs out of fear that a guy's going to want to bend him over and stick his dick up his ass."

Stunned I look back down, squirming a little. "Well the thing is I'm not exactly bi, and not exactly the type to go after women either."

"Okay, so why didn't you explain it to the Abydonians that you were and save yourself the trouble of Sha're?"

"Well like I said, I fell for someone that I couldn't and shouldn't be with. Then there was the whole thing with not wanting to be rude considering how she ended up as my wife in the first place."

With a small chuckle, Jack ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, she ran off crying when you first turn her down."

"I mean it's not like I haven't been with a women before."

Once again there's silence only to be broken by Jack again. "So, the main reason you stayed behind... Who was it? I mean there's only a few of us that went with you."

With that I get up and take a few steps away from the couch towards the door. Not knowing what else to do, I stutter the words "Look, maybe I should just leave." Before I can finish the sentence a hand grabs my arm just under the elbow. I stand there staring at the hand frozen. Turning around I look at him, his brown eyes looking for answers in mine. God those chocolate brown eyes of his…

"Don't." His voice is barely audible. Standing up he lets go of me and steps forward coming close to breaking my personal space.

"Jack?"

Exhaling heavily he looks down at his shoes. "Look, by the time I came back, Sara was gone, and..."

"And you were still a father that outlived his son."

With a hesitant nod and taking a moment, he continued. "I spent a good month just getting my head together, sorting through everything, drinking down my own pity. After realizing what I was doing, I bought that dang telescope on the roof to look at the stars because I couldn't get the Stargate out of my head. Couldn't get the fact that you were out there somewhere, having fun, while I was here just sulking in my retirement..."

All I can do is look at him. This is the most I've heard out of him, let alone something so revealing about himself, in one breath. All I can do is just stand there trying to process what he's saying, trying not to let my imagination go anywhere with what he might not be saying. Still, I have to know.

"What are you saying?"

I watch as he fidgets, digging his hands in his pockets. "I'm saying... Oh for crying out loud, forget it! Forget I said anything. Not that you can ask, anyways. Even if you did it's not like I can tell you." With that he pushed passed me and started to head up the stairs to his bedroom.

All I can do is watch. Did he just say what I thought he said? Not knowing what else to do, I grab my coat and leave, taking one last look at the stairs.

-Jack's POV-

I manage to make it up the stairs when I realize what I've just done. Before I can even turn around to go apologize and explain, the door's already closed behind him.

"Great. For all you know he could have been talking about Kawalsky or Ferretti!"

I manage to get into bed and lay there for a good five minutes when I get up again and pull the box out of the closet I've been keeping at the back.

"Damn geek, always had to go sneezing all over the place." Aimlessly I trace the letters written on the Kleenex box. 'Thanks - Please Send More.' This is probably the closest way I can stay with him anyways.

It's all your fault, Daniel. I was doing fine until you just had to show up. Show up and figure everything out. Why did you have to figure it out? Why did you give me the opportunity to go on that mission? It was supposed to be a suicide-mission! Stupid geek... Why did you have to make me fall for you and bring back everything I've been denying all these years? I had barely managed to snap myself back into my denials after everything calmed down from that whole shindig with Ra. We did have some good laughs though, didn't we? Remember the camel thing that dragged you across the desert? Well not funny for you than but hell it's something we laugh at now isn't it?