"Hm…there's something not quite right about this. Maybe a little more to the left…And voila! I, Naruto Uzumaki, am I genius! This potions display has never looked better."
…Unfortunately, I'm also probably the only one who's ever going to see it. For some reason, nobody ever seems to come to this shop. I know it's out in the middle of nowhere, but the salesman said that would make my products seem more valuable…or something like that. Or maybe I just got conned; he was very persuasive. And it was also one of the only places I could afford, so it's not like I had many options. I guess I could always sweep the floor again, to pass the time…
Suddenly, the bell attached to the entrance of my shop chimed. Could it be…a real, breathing, customer? I raced to the front of the shop, and put on my best customer service voice. "Welcome, how can I- … Oh." I took in the appearance of the man who had entered my shop. Raven locks, a huge chip on his shoulder, skin that women would die for… "It's YOU." Sasuke Uchiha, my old nemesis.
"Yo. Haven't seen you in awhile dobe." This is bad. Of all the people it could have been, why did it have to be him? Maybe if I just ignore him, he'll leave.
Sasuke wasn't having any of that though. "It's kind of rude to ignore a guest you know," he said crossing his arms and taking a disapproving tone. "It's no wonder this place doesn't have any customers."
That did it. "If you were an actual customer, I would treat you with the proper respect! However we both know that you're cable of making everything I sell here and I'm sure you can do it better than me Mr. Top Rank in every class Uchiha Bastard! As such, I can only assume you've come here to humiliate me, again, and so I see no reason to be nice to you."
However, said Uchiha bastard didn't seem phased by my outburst in the slightest. "Wow. I didn't expect you to actually admit that."
"See, you're doing it already! You never could stop harassing me, even for 5 minutes!"
His face got a bit more serious. "I've never harassed-"
"That's your grade? Did you even look at the text? Next time read it properly and make sure you understand all the study questions or you'll stay dumb forever."
"I didn't-"
"Wow! You messed up that potion? It's one of the easiest ones. Start over and make sure you boil the water before you add the ingredients. It does make a difference."
"That-"
"We can do this all day Sasuke; I've got plenty more where that came from – a lot more."
He actually had the grace to look guilty. "…Is that why you dropped out?" The question took me off guard, both because I hadn't expected it and because for once he sounded like he wasn't asking just to flaunt his superiority, but because he actually wanted to know.
"…No. I would never let an asshole like you get to me like that." I sounded a lot more confident than I felt.
He stared at me for a few moments as if assessing the truth of my words, before breaking into his trademark Uchiha smirk. "Good. I guess I don't have to feel guilty then." Figures, he couldn't show remorse for more than 5 seconds. "Anyway, I heard a rumor you had a shop now, and had to come check it out for myself because I didn't believe it."
"Why? Because I suck at magic?"
"It's not that. I mean, it's not particularly hard to make the knick-knacks you've stocked up on-"
"THERE YOU GO AGAIN!"
"I didn't mean it like th-"
"You said exactly what you meant. My shop is basic, and people can get this kind of stuff anywhere. Unfortunately, not everyone gets to be a genius like you. Just because you can make whatever you want with absolutely zero effort doesn't mean that everybody else can!" I wasn't sure whether I wanted to cry or tear his face off at this point. "I'm trying. I've been trying really hard. Maybe this is all I have to show for myself, but what right do you have to come in here and trample on the little bit that I've managed? It might not seem like it, but I have improved. And you know what? I'll keep on improving until I'm better than even you! So there!"
"That sounds more like you. I'm going to have to burst your bubble though. You couldn't even make that love potion you bragged about, so tell me how exactly you plan to surpass me again?" This was the Sasuke Uchiha that I was familiar with. So sure of himself, so certain of everyone's else's worthless. I HAD to wipe that smirk off his face.
"I can. I can make a love potion." The incident Sasuke referred to was back when I was obsessed with this girl named Sakura. Obviously she wasn't interested in a loser like me, and instead preferred to stalk Sasuke like a shadow. I'd heard a rumor that the Magistrate's tower contained rare scrolls, and thought if I could master one of them it'd surely impress Sakura enough to ditch the bastard. I only had time to grab one before I had to bust the heck out of there, but the scroll I'd taken contained the recipe for a love potion. I'd bragged for weeks about "accidently" discovering how to make a love potion. I took me awhile to gather all the ingredients (or something "close enough" that I had on hand) but needless to say it didn't work. Rather than fall in love with me, she spent the next 2 days puking in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I gave her food poisoning, and she wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. I still had the scroll, but never was successful at making an effective potion with it. Sasuke didn't need to know that though.
"Really? Why don't you prove it then. Make one right now. I'll wait."
Really, you'd think I'd have seen this coming. My only chance at getting out of this was to try and get Sasuke to back down. "Fine, but when I do YOU have to drink it. And I'm going to make sure you never live it down."
"You're on."
"WHAT!?"
"We both know you can't do it. There's no way that potion is going to work."
"…I can too. Clear out of the shop for a minute, I don't need you hovering over me while I work." Sasuke rolled his eyes, but ultimately complied.
This is bad. This is really bad. I can't make a love potion! I mean, I have the recipe, but every time I've tried it's ended up a failure. Unfortunately it's too late to back out now. I head over to my bookshelf in my workshop and start digging around until I find the scroll I was looking for.
"Maybe it won't be so bad. Even if I fail again, seeing Sasuke puke his guts out in misery for 2 days should fun, and if I'm lucky maybe I'll really mess it up and give him actual poison." One could only hope. I grab some water I've bottled and pour it into a pot that I've set over a burner. The first step, as it is for most potions, requires me to boil it to remove any impurities from the base liquid. I hastily read the next step and grab the listed ingredients from my cabinets before dropping them one by one into the water. That done, I move onto the next set of instructions, which calls for a rose. Unfortunately I don't have any in stock, as they aren't a very common potion ingredient. Honestly, this is the only recipe I've seen that calls for one. I debate telling Sasuke I can't finish it due to lack of ingredients, but that sounds like a weak cop-out even to me, and I know he'd take it as a victory. I CAN'T let that happen.
"Maybe I can substitute it with something else…" I look through the flowers I do have in stock, and decided on a crumpled blue one in the back that I can't identify. It's unlikely I'll use it in another potion anyway if it's been sitting here that long. I throw it into the water, and a puff of smoke escapes from the pot. That…is actually the right reaction, which I've never gotten before. Maybe this will actually work?
I stir everything together until it's the right consistency, then close my eyes for the final step. You're supposed to convey the feelings you want to infuse into the liquid. Since this is a love potion, I focus on sending lovey-dovey thoughts into the pot. Yeah it's weird, and no I've never gotten the hang of it, but it's what the recipe calls for. I attempt to imagine an attractive woman with long flowing hair and an incredibly low cut shirt – the kind they depict on those trashy romance novels that have been becoming popular lately. The image doesn't really excite me or anything, but I've never had a girlfriend so it's all I've got to work with. I try to summon up some sort of affection for this made up person, but I barely manage anything. Hopefully it's still enough.
I'm rudely interrupted when the bell to my shop chimes again. "You done yet?" Sasuke calls. Stupid bastard, if he was making the potion he'd probably be done by now. Why can't I be as good as him? What does he do different that makes everything come out right? I hate him. I hate him and his perfect perfectness. I wish he'd fail at something, even if only once, so he'd at least know a fraction of what I've had to go through. "I'm coming in," Sasuke calls before shoving the door to my workspace open.
"I'm not done ye-"
"Too bad, time's up. Let's see what you've got." He moves past me to look at the pot.
"I said it's not ready yet!"
"…It's actually the right color."
"Really? I mean yeah, of course it is! I told you I've improved; I can make love potions in my sleep now!"
"Is that why you have the recipe out?" the raven asked, gesturing to the scroll.
"Uh…" Crap.
"Relax, there's nothing wrong with checking the steps. I'm impressed that you actually managed to follow them this time. In school you always seemed to do better when you made things up as you went. Following instructions was never your strong point."
"Yeah, yeah, rub it in..."
"Well, let's get this over with." Sasuke grabs the ladle off the table and scoops up some of the potion before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. I wait a few moments in anticipation. "...I don't feel any different. It looked right; I actually thought you had it this time. I wonder what went wrong." He put his hand over the pot and mumbled a spell, but nothing happened. He frowned and tried again, but with the same result. He whirled to face me, an angry expression on his face.
"Alright Naruto, very funny. You got me and I'm sure it feels oh so good for you to watch me be useless over here, but you need to reverse this NOW.
"Reverse what?" Obviously the potion didn't work, but I had no idea what side effect Sasuke was having.
"Give me back my magic, moron." A first I just stare at him in disbelief, but once I realize he's serious…I break into uncontrollable laughter. A Sasuke without magic is the best news I've ever heard. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" He's actually throwing a temper tantrum right now, and it' only adding fuel to the fire.
"Well, I think it's hilarious."
"You won't think it's so hilarious when I fry you to a crisp."
"And how are you going to do that with no magic? Feeling useless yet Sasuke?"
"Of course I feel useless, you would too if this was reversed!"
And just like that any mirth I had evaporates. While it's funny to see it happen to Sasuke, I know I wouldn't like it if it happened to me. I've had my fair share of feeling useless already. It also feels like a cheap way to win. "Sorry…you're right."
"Thank you. Now can you PLEASE reverse it already?"
And here's the dreaded part. "…I honestly don't know how. I really did try to make a love potion; I'm not sure how it turned into this. I'm sorry Sasuke. "
There's a brief moment where he looks like he's going to scream, but he manages to get himself under control. "Alright, let's start with the basics. What EXACTLY did you put in that potion?"
"Nothing weird, I just followed the scroll. Except that I didn't have a rose, so I used some blue flower instead."
"What kind of flower was it?"
"Um…I don't know. It was the only one I had and I couldn't really identify it."
"You used an ingredient you couldn't identify!?" He looks mad again, so I quickly change the subject.
"Does that sound like any potion you know of?"
"No. I think we should call the academy. Maybe Tsunade knows something."
"O-okay. I'll do that now." I go over to my scrying orb and cast a communications spell to the academy's. For a moment nothing happens, then headmistress Tsunade comes into view through the glass.
"Naruto, right? What can I help you with?"
"Well you see..." I struggle with how to explain it and Sasuke beats me to the punch.
"Naruto botched up a love potion and now my magic is gone. We need your help figuring out how to reverse it."
"He tried to use a love potion on you!? Naruto, you know love potions are forbidden! This is a serious-"
"No, I challenged him to make one," Sasuke said cutting her off.
"You WANTED him to use a love potion on you?"
"No! I didn't even think it would work anyway."
"So you drank a potion knowing that it would likely result in some strange effect. An honor student should know better, Uchiha."
"Ok, so it was a bad idea," Sasuke admitted, "but we need to focus on the problem here. We need to find an antidote for a potion that follows the same steps as a love potion, but uses a blue flower instead of a rose and results in the loss of magical ability.
"Well, that's not going to be easy. I'll have to go through our records manually and that's going to take some time," Tsunade informed. "I'll contact you as soon as I find something."
"I don't have time to wait!" Sasuke complained.
"Look, you two are likely dealing with some high level magic and it's not just going to reverse itself easily. Patience is a virtue, and you're just going to have to muster some up until this gets sorted out."
Sasuke looked defeated. "I guess I don't have much of a choice."
"Don't look so down, Uchiha; I'm confident I can figure it out. This may even do you some good. I'll get working on it right now, so just hang tight for a bit okay?" Tsunade disconnected the call.
"I guess I'm stuck here then. You have a spare room?" Sasuke asked?
"Wait, what?"
"Well I obviously can't teleport back home, and frankly I doubt you've mastered the spell yourself. Am I wrong?"
"I haven't but-"
"But nothing. You're in the middle of nowhere so there's no way I can just walk home."
"Alright, I get it. I've only got the one room though, it's not like I usually have company."
"Then I call the bed," the Uchiha replied before making his way up the staircase that lead to the bedroom. I chase after him, but he's faster than I am. He beats me to the bedroom and flops down on the bed, stretching out so that he occupies it completely. I decide to just let him have it. He is technically a guest, and this whole situation is my fault in the first place.
"Well, then, goodnight I guess."
"You're just going to let me have it?" Maybe I'm imagining things, but Saskue actually looks kind of disappointed.
"Yeah. It's my fault you're stuck here in the first place, so I guess it's the least I could do."
He's quiet for a moment so I think it's the end of the conversation, but as I turn to leave he speaks once more. "…We could share it." My mind goes blank for a minute. "That way you don't have to sleep on the couch or the floor or whatever." I have a hard time processing the fact that Sasuke is willing to share. It seems…too nice for him.
"This is a trap isn't it? Too pay me back for earlier."
"Of course not!" He sounds offended, but then changes to a more defeated tone. "You really don't like me, do you? Well, do whatever you want then." He rolls over and faces the wall so that his back is towards me, but there is enough space left for me that I could take him up on his offer. I hesitate for a minute, but climb in deciding it's ultimately better than the couch.
After some time I hear the sound of shallow breathing, and assume Sasuke has fallen asleep. It's kind of weird lying next to another living, breathing person, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I should be asleep too, but I just can't relax for some reason. I lay awake for awhile longer before I hear Sasuke speak:
"Naruto…sorry." I just gap at him in shock, that's not something Sasuke would say at all. He never apologizes ever. However, it quickly became apparent he's sleep talking. Despite that, I know I heard it right. Even if he won't say it out loud…maybe he actually does regret some of his actions. Perhaps I was in the wrong some of the time too. I guess I should try to be nicer to him. Maybe one day we could get along…or maybe that's just the lack of sleep talking. Either way I can worry about if tomorrow. For now, I finally left myself drift off to sleep.