Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
A/N - Written for the Write all the ships challenge, Draco/Hermione. Also Written for the Off The Block Competition for Freestyle - Medium.
This is (I think) the first time I've ever wrote this pairing, and more than likely the last. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it.
Word Count 843
She'll Never Know
I started to notice her more and more, wherever she was, my eyes would find her. I tried to hate her, I tried so, so hard, but I can't. I'll never be able to hate her. I love her. I shouldn't. But I do.
xxxx
She's been distant this year, she's tired. I've been hearing rumors about her taking on too much, about her being in two classes at once, about her snapping randomly at people for no reason. I think she's using a time turner. She's going to break, and they don't care. Her supposed best friend aren't even talking to her, never mind noticing just how close to the edge she is.
xxxx
I taunt them. I want her to react, I want her to get rid of some of the anger I can see her carrying around. She hits me, and I step back. I was expecting a hex, not her skin on mine. The place she touched me burns, but not through pain. I can feel her soft skin on my cheek, and I raise a hand to touch it without thinking. She rears her hand back to hit me again, and the Weasel stops her. I can see the pain in her eyes. Suddenly I don't feel so good about pushing the case against the hippogriff.
xxxx
Why don't they see the danger she's in? They need to move out of the way, they need to get her deeper into the woods where the Death Eaters won't find her. They ask if my parent's are out there too, and of course, they are, but I can't tell them that. I taunt them again, this time, though I feel horrified at the words coming from my mouth, I call her names. It worked though. The weasel listened. They moved on through the trees.
xxxx
The article makes my blood boil. She isn't with Potter. I know that. I do. Just the thought of him laying a hand on her...It makes me cringe inside.
xxxx
What I wouldn't give to be leading her into the Hall, to have her on my arm, to dance with her and hold her close. She looks stunning, absolutely beautiful. He doesn't deserve her. I don't deserve her. She's perfect.
xxxx
I have to warn them. I don't know how to make them listen. My Father will tell the Dark Lord, and I know that it will hurt Potter, which in turn will hurt her. I pick a fight, and she tells me to leave. Dogging. I see the look in her eyes and know she's clicked with my words. I can relax. They can protect him. She'll stay happy. For now.
xxxx
At first I thought she had given in. I thought she was crying. She's stronger than that, I know she is. I look closer, and I realise there are no tears on her face. She has a plan. Potter's noticed too. He'll save her. He always does. I want to go to. I chose my words carefully, to no avail. The toad isn't playing my game today. I'll have to put faith in Potter, a thought that doesn't leave me any comfort.
xxxx
It's happened. I thought, when I was younger, that this would be the happiest day of my life, but instead, it's the worst. The burning black tattoo on my arm tells me what I already know. She'll never see me as anything but an enemy.
xxxx
I can't do it. I can't let Death Eaters into the castle where she is. She'll put herself in more danger. Potter always knows, and she's always there. She'll be hurt. I can't allow that. An impossible choice. My parents, or the girl that will never return my love.
xxxx
Parent's be damned, I won't be a murderer. I wont let her think any less of me than she already does. I can't. I won't. I won't be a murderer.
xxxx
Her screams echo in my ears. Aunt Bellatrix is carving at her arm and I can't save her. I can't do anything but listen to the screams that will haunt me forever. Potter takes my wand and I let him. He can save her where I can't. He can look after her. He can keep her alive. He can treat her the way she deserves.
He can save her.
xxxx
They save my life. I wanted to die. I saw her with Weasley, and I had no wish to live anymore. But they saved me.
xxxx
Potter won, and she's alive. I sit in the hall, and I watch her, as I have many times before. The Aurors will wise up soon and arrest us, and she'll see it. She'll she how I've fallen and she'll probably be glad of it.
xxxx
I'll never tell her how I feel. She'll never know that I love her, she'll never know that I'd give anything for her to look at me without hate.
She'll never know.
She'll never know.
Because I don't deserve her.