Saturdays were always the worst for L'Oreal no tear kids shampoo (lori for short).
Being an employee at the Starbucks was never the best job, especially on a Saturday. Those dumb kids with their beanies and oversized sweaters and Ugg boots (they are called ugg boots because they are so ugly hurhurhur) would come in and order their over prices mocha frappes and then proceed to take 20-30 pictures of themselves and their drinks and then talk about poetry with their friends. Pretentious assholes.
But little did lori know that this Saturday would be the day that her whole world would change forever.
It was around noon time when a suave stranger came into the shop. Suave Professionals 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner was his name, and he was everything a young hair care product dreamed about. He was tall with a light blue lid and a slick black silicon body. A fancy, high-end brand. Probably from Walgreens.
When he approached the counter, Lori was left speechless. Her dark black eyes met with his blue ones and she said "Do I know you?" What a dumb thing to say. Do I know you? God, I know he's a shampoo bottle and there are only so many of them living in America but the chances of her actually knowing him!? Anyway. He held her gaze and said "Dose it really matter?" And then she blushes like a fucking anime character. For that moment all she can think about is boning that sexy shampoo bottle.
"I'll take a Mocha Frappe with two sugars and an extra shot. Two squirts of caramel and a dollop of whipped crème. And make sure that the whipped crème is made from pure half and half goat's milk. And perhaps a drizzle of chocolate on top. Hmm, no. Scratch that, no chocolate for me." He finished his order with a smile.
Something clicks inside Lori when he finishes his order. A spark sets off in her mind. A twinge of anger sets in her stomach. A deep seeded hatred for every goddamned person to ever order a fucking mocha frappe with two sugars and an extra shot. Two squirts of caramel and a dollop of whipped crème made from pure half and half goat's milk. And perhaps a drizzle of chocolate on top bursts forth in a heated fire ball off passion. Everything goes blank and suddenly she is on top of him on top of the counter.
"the customer is always right" he says in a breathy voice. His eyes clouded with lust for the vibrant green shampoo bottle straddling him.
"Looks like I'm the boss now." She says before crashing their lips together. The kiss was sloppy and hot. Their slippery tongues danced a spicy tango like the way they do on dancing with the stars. He slid a hand under her shirt and she quivered under his touch. He unclasped her bra with one swift motion and took his hands and fondled her boobies.
"don't stop" she whispered.
"I won't." was all he said before tearing away her uniform and tossing it aside along with his own garments. She sat there in awe of what just happened. Her fluorescent green, nippleless breasts were exposed. She abandoned her panties like a fucking sinking ship when he whispered "do it like nike". She screeched like a pterodactyl when his lips suddenly met her lips, and not the ones up stairs if you can pick up what I'm throwing down. He started fucking French kissing her lemon green clam sandwich with fucking fervor. He licked that pussy clean and then plunged his tongue so deep in there that it inspired Jules Verne to write A Journey to the Center of the Earth. They didn't call him Suave for nothing, he was the best tongue fucker in the whole world. He pulled away and suddenly impaled her with his cock. "Jesus crust!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Here I come I am cinnamon!" Suave shouted. They both screamed like goku going supper saiyan before they themselves and the area around them was covered with thick soapy suds and the air smelled of lavender and cherries.
"Scruba dub dub, that was a lot of fun." He said to her with a wink.
"I think I looffa you." She said to him as she handed him his Mocha Frappe with two sugars and an extra shot. Two squirts of caramel and a dollop of whipped crème made from pure half and half goat's milk. Without a drizzle of chocolate on top. And on the paper zarf she wrote in childish scrawl
"You are cordially invited to fuck my brains out any time xoxoxox"
With a smile and a wink he left the store and business went on as usual.
THE END