A/N: Co-Written with My2BrownEyes over on AO3. Couldn't do it without her! Rated M because sex, trauma and past abuse.

Chapter 1

Matthew Murdock had officially hit bottom. He lost his last and biggest case when Frank Castle (aka The Punisher) decided to yell out in court that he was glad he murdered all of those gang and mafia members. He lost his best friend and law partner Foggy Nelson after he left him to do all of the lawyering on the Frank Castle case. He lost his college girlfriend Elektra Natchios who was killed on a rooftop as they battled ninjas together. (He couldn't save her. He should have been able to save her.) And now he lost his other friend and almost girlfriend Karen Page. His lack of work on the case had strained their relationship. He thought telling her he was Daredevil would repair it. He was wrong. He left an angry Karen at the office. (He'd probably lose that, too.)

Now he was walking the streets of Hell's Kitchen only knowing he didn't want to go home.

There was one person he hadn't lost yet. And even though she was still on the west coast, he could at least feel closer to her and a little less alone. There was the t-shirt she had left at his place. He went there first. But the t-shirt wasn't enough. There were too many other energies in this space – Elektra's and Karen's being most prominent. So, he left with the t-shirt in his hand and headed to Jessica Drew's apartment.

Matt climbed up the fire escape intending only to sit outside her window and hold her t-shirt. He knew it was pathetic, but all Matt had the energy to do was wallow in his self-pity. Maybe he'd call her and see if she had time to talk. But as he got closer, he realized there was someone in her apartment. He checked the window and was surprised to find it unlocked. As quietly as he could, he opened it and climbed inside.

Jess just wanted a shower and a decent night's sleep. Then she could hit the road again. God, she smelled. She hadn't showered in days and had been places that were best left unsaid. It was best not to think about what sort of dirt (if it was even that) she was covered in. But her path had seemed to work – she had managed to shake off the guys that had been tailing her.

"Fuck me." Jess cursed as she lost her balance and fell into her bedroom dresser. Forget HYDRA, these pants would be the death of her. She froze as the sound of her window opening caught her attention. Hastily she struggled out of her pants as her hand began to crackle with green lightning, giving her dark apartment an eerie glow. "Who's there?" She called out, ready for a fight. The irony that she was only in her underwear and a t-shirt did not escape her. Of course this would be how she would go.

"Jess? It's Matt." He entered with his hands in the air, the t-shirt she left him in one of them. There was a pained but surprised look on his face. "Is it really you?" Had he missed her call? Had he completely lost her, too?

Matt. Jess closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. It soothed her like nothing else could, but she couldn't allow her guard to drop. His face was tinged green from the electricity still crackling about her hands. She noticed her shirt and his expression, and her heart twisted uncomfortably in her chest. Only Matt could do that to her, but she had to be sure it was him. "Of course, it's me." She snapped. "But are you really you? You're not an LMD are you?" Jess hated LMDs. They'd fooled her with one of those before. She had lost her apartment in San Francisco because of it. But they wouldn't fool her with that ever again.

She was going to hate herself for this, for doing this to him, but she did it anyway. Jess took a breath to collect herself, then blasted the biggest dose of her pheromones she could. If he fell over in lust – well then. It was Matt. LMDs were good, but no one had figured out how to get them to react to her pheromones yet.

He didn't know what an LMD was, and soon he didn't care. A wave of lust surged through him. Everything else was forgotten except his need of her. He stumbled forward in his impatience to get to her. Then he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a hungry kiss.

Yup, definitely Matt. She allowed him to kiss her for the briefest of moments then pinned his arms to his side and held him at arm's length. "I need you to just stand here for a moment. Promise?" She needed to get her pheromone neutralizer.

"Jess, please." Matt begged, his voice husky with lust. He leaned toward her, desperate to touch her. Only after she promised him that she'd be right back did he agree to stay put.

It took Jess longer than she'd like to find where she had placed her jacket, but she couldn't risk a light right now. She knew she was being paranoid, but usually that paid off. Finally she found it and turned to Matt. She spritzed him right in the face plus the area around him, just to be sure. "Feeling better yet?"

He made a face and sneezed. The lust receded almost as quickly as it came. The depression that followed felt twice as heavy. It made his knees buckle. He fell to the ground. Burying his face in her t-shirt, he tried to weep. But all he felt was the heaviness.

That was not the typical reaction someone had when she sprayed them with neutralizer. "Matt?" Jess reached out in the darkness, her hands finding his shoulders and pulling him to her. "Hey, what's going on? Why are you here?" There was a clear note of concern in her voice. She was not used to seeing Matt this way, and it scared her. The bounty hunter didn't wait for Matt's response. She wrapped her arm around his torso and pulled him to his feet, then dragged him to the bathroom. It was the only place in the apartment without windows and where she could risk turning on a light.

He let her lead him. "I lost," he said in a hollow voice. "I… I lost." He didn't know how else to explain it.

"You lost what, love?" Jess asked him, confused by what he was saying. She closed the door and flicked the switch, blinking against the sudden light. She gently pushed Matt back so she could get a better look at him. Gone was the cocky lawyer. There wasn't a hint of the quiet confidence of even Daredevil. All that remained was a look of desolation. The unaccustomed feeling of protectiveness swirled inside of Jess. "And who do I need to hurt?" She growled. She really didn't have time for this, risked dragging Matt into the mess that was her life every second he stayed in her apartment. But she was not leaving him like this. She couldn't.

"There's no one. They've all left. There was only you." His head tilted up to her. "The memory of you. And now here you are." His head dropped. "Or have you come to leave, too. You're the only one who hasn't all the way back to my mom. And now even Foggy is gone."

He wasn't making any sense to her. Foggy was practically his brother. Why would Foggy leave? "Where did Foggy go?" Jess reached out and placed a hand under Matt's chin, tilting it up towards her. She didn't smell any alcohol, so he hadn't been drinking. That was good at least. "Matthew Murdock, you are my only friend on this planet, and I do not intend to change that." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "But, I am only here for a shower and a few hours rest. Then I need to leave. That has nothing to do with you." Jess felt as if there was a time bomb being held over her head.

He nodded. Her heartbeat said it was true, but he still had a hard time believing her. "Sorry. Foggy went to Hogarth Chao & Benowitz. Karen is now a reporter. And I'm…" He exhaled in defeat. "I'm in your way. I should go."

She partly agreed with him, but Jess wasn't going to let Matt leave like this. "You're not going anywhere." She pushed him back until he was leaning against the sink. "You are going to listen for anyone else entering this apartment while I shower, because I smell like a sewage plant. You are also going to tell me everything that happened because you are not making sense to me. Okay?" Jess pressed another kiss to the corner of Matt's mouth, then got the water running.

"Okay." At least this made him feel useful. As he listened for anything suspicious, he vowed he wouldn't let Jess meet the same fate as Elektra. Thankfully, there was no one coming for her, at least not yet. He saved his story until she finished her shower. Then he gave her the shortened version. He was surprised she hadn't heard about Frank Castle and the trial. It seemed to dominate the news here, but maybe it held no interest nationally. He continued, telling her how his college girlfriend had come back, how ninjas (yes, ninjas) had followed her, how they ended her life. He told her about the trial and his almost complete lack of involvement in it after convincing Foggy to take the case. It felt like confession, all of his mistakes laid out before her.

Jess wrapped herself in a towel and took Matt's hands, unsure of what to say. Her thumbs brushed over his knuckles. "Matt, I'm sorry. If...if I had known, if I could have been here to help, I would have." It was important to Jess that he knew this, knew she hadn't forgotten him.

"I know. I should have called." His eyes dropped. "Elektra has always clouded my judgment." He shook his head clear it then gave her hands a little squeeze. "Now you know my sad story. What's yours? Who is after you? And how can I help?"

"Elektra's reputation was as bad as mine." Jess thought of what she knew of the woman, which wasn't much. She wasn't really surprised she had caught Matt's attention though. Jess swallowed at his next questions. "The less you know about that, the better off you will be. It's not the first time they've gone after me, I'll be fine. They're why I can't stay and why I didn't call you though. I'm sorry, Matt."

What he heard was that he was worthless. Most of him agreed. "It's okay. I'm sorry I intruded." His plan now was to go home, wallow for a bit in sorrow and beer, then in the morning (after dealing with whatever hangover he ended up with) decide what to do next. "I should go."

By this time Jess had dragged Matt back through her dark apartment and into her bedroom. She began to dress. It went much more smoothly than undressing before the shower had. Jess zipped her jacket and placed her glasses on the top her head, then reached for Matt again and pulled him into an embrace. She wasn't sure if it was right, but it felt like it was. "You're not bothering me, Matt. My past is coming back to get me, and I'm not sure who is real and who isn't. I can't let you get involved in that." No sooner had the words left her mouth that Jess heard the soft click of her apartment door lock.

Matt's head jerked up. He listened closely. He raised one finger indicating it was only one person entering. But then he heard another sound that seemed off. "Wires," he whispered. The realization came suddenly. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the window.

Wires meant bombs. Shit. She placed herself between Matt and the intruder. A flashlight flicked on in her living and she could get a better look at their opponent. He was middle aged but shorter than even her. Jess could make out a vest underneath the oversized jacket he wore.

"I know you're in here, you traitorous bitch!" Jess had been called worse things. She pushed her goggles firmly down onto her face.

If Matt wasn't here she'd go and meet the guy head on, but she wasn't willing to risk that. Her voice was barely a breath when she spoke "We'll let him blow the joint. I'm going to lure him back here. Stay towards the window. When I say now, hug me around the neck."

"Got it." If Matt was good at anything, it was hiding in the shadows. He took the few steps to the window and disappeared in the darkness.

The intruder made his way to her bedroom, a maniacal grin spread across his face. "There you are – and you have a friend. Was he to be your entertainment tonight? You should know you don't have time for that." He lunged at Jess, who in turn had moved to shove Matt out of the way. He might be Daredevil, but this was her mess to deal with.

The asshole had managed to grab her by the hair. Jess reached back and grabbed his wrist until there was a cracking noise, and he let go. "Fuck you." She growled as she kicked him away.

The stranger bumped against the wall then stepped forward. His left hand flew forward grabbing the sleeve of her shirt. His right hand reached for the detonator on his vest. "Hail Hydra!"

Matt grabbed a book from the dresser and threw it at the man's right hand. It delayed the action just long enough for Jess to yank free and run towards him. He threw his arms around her neck just before she jumped out the window.

The force of the explosion pushed them forward. The sound disoriented Matt, and the heat and glass and debris whooshed over his back before surrounding them.