Chapter 1) Nephew

I used a candle to carefully light the incense, remembering how the merchant had said it was a popular scent from Agustria. I'd purchased it mostly for the strangely nostalgic feeling it stirred in me, but I didn't feel too bad about it. Alicia spent quite some time in Agustria, so hopefully, her ghost wouldn't mind the scent. Of course, Alicia had rarely had minded anything. She had been too 'tired' to mind. Alicia had been too 'tired' for a lot of things. Cowen had described it as Alicia having an unhealing wound in her spirit that was slowly bleeding her dry. We had done what we could to try and patch it, but sadly, it hadn't been enough. She had slowly fallen apart over the years, still keeping her smiles… and her secrets.

I was honestly convinced Alicia had known me before I lost my memories. I couldn't prove it, but there had always been something just so familiar about her and sometimes I would get impressions like 'oh, her smile should be brighter' with no context whatsoever. But she never said anything about it, never hesitated about a thing when interacting with me. In those final days, heartbroken over her inevitable death and frustrated, I had broke down and asked 'who am I?' with all the anger and frustration I had. Alicia had smiled sweetly and me, kissed my cheek, and said that I was 'Diadora'. That I was the Empress of Grannvale, daughter of Prince Kurth, Granddaughter of King Azmur. That I was Arvis's wife, mother of Julius and Julia. That I was the aunt of her children, Caitriona and Conall, and that I was her very best friend. With the words came a calm. Whoever I used to be, that didn't change who I was now. I still wanted to know about my past, but breaking down as I did, and her words had helped. They always helped. Even while she had been dying, Alicia had been the healer, who tended to people's bodies and spirits. I wished she had told me more, but still...

"I do wish you had made it to the twins' fifth birthday," I whispered to her ghost. I missed her terribly. Alicia had always been a comforting presence for all of us. "I wish we could've brought your children home to you." Honestly, the thought terrifies me. Alicia had sent her children away, fearing travel through the desert, and thanks to the chaos of the Battle of Belhalla, she had been permanently separated from them. The idea of never being able to see my own children… "We'll keep looking, though." I wanted them to be safe, and the best way to insure that was to have them near. "Ah, I'm rambling. You'd probably laugh at me for all my fretting." I could even hear it. Her gentle, melancholic laugh. I always wondered what her laugh had been like, before she broke. The empty abyss where my memories had been would say something like 'brighter, but I had no way to knowing it was actually true. "You'd probably also laugh at me standing in the middle of a room talking to ghosts."

So, paid my respects to Chulainn, buried besides Alicia of course, and then for Father and Grandfather. I had never met Father, sadly, but Grandfather had made it to his goal of seeing Julius and Julia born. Alicia's medicines even bought him a year with them, which made me smile even as I missed him. Still, I doubt I could forgive those rebels, and that Sigurd, for killing Father. No matter how 'familiar' that name was and no matter how a small part of my heart would keen bitterly.

Shaking my head, and then fixing my hair because it always flew all over the place, I left the crypt entirely for the sunshine and warmth of the castle proper. People greeted me warmly as I passed, though I did frequently forget that 'Your Majesty' and 'Empress' referred to me. Grandfather had ruled a kingdom, but in the chaos five years ago, so many leaders had lost their lives that they had turned to Grannvale for sanctuary. With the Manster District and Silesse falling in 762, Grannvale had become an empire. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that, but I did like the chance to reach and help more people. Though, I wasn't sure how much I liked all the work, especially when I was still adapting to having no memories of my past, even now. But that was the price of being a noble, or so I was told.

The reminder of work made me decide to go check in on Arvis, and I entered his study without knocking, as I always did. He never minded, even though often enough, he was so absorbed in working that he didn't notice. I smiled sadly at the mourning black he wore, with the only thing not associated with mourning clothes being the cufflinks he wore. He always wore them. He said they were a wedding gift from a person he admired dearly, but never told me who. I was certain whoever it was died. It wouldn't surprise me, painful as that was. Arvis had lost a lot over the years, and the most recent loss made it particularly clear. After all, he wasn't really handling Alicia's death well at all. He had told me, once, that he had wanted to make a world that was better for his siblings in particular. He had wanted his siblings to be happy, in a world that was fairer. But in order to make that 'fairer world', and in order to punish the ones who murdered my father, he had lost both of his siblings. Alicia died and Azel, who I never got a chance to meet, disappeared into Silesse during the chaos. We had sent forces to look for him when Silesse fell, but they didn't find him.

But it was times like this we had to support each other, as we swore when we married, so I walked over and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Morning, dear," I murmured. He looked up and smiled wanly. He hadn't slept well last night. If I hadn't dragged him to bed, he might not have slept at all. "I think you need to take a break."

"Something tells me I'll lose the argument," he noted tiredly. I smiled innocently. "Yeah, I'll lose. Fine, a break."

"Perfect!" Giggling, I went over to his shelf, where he kept all of his tea things. He often enjoyed a cup of tea when working late at not. "Let's see…" I set out the tea pot and the like on the table and reached up to grab his favorite…

"Wait!" Arvis, however, stopped me, catching my hand. He'd come over so quickly that he'd actually knocked his chair to the ground. "Not that blend!"

"Huh?" I frowned at him, confused. "Why not? It's your favorite and…" And I trailed off as I put the pieces together. His favorite tea was the blend Alicia had always made him. She'd made a new batch shortly before she died, but now she was gone. This batch would be the last he'd ever have, likely. She might've written it down, but all of her things were in her room, locked because it hurt too much to look at. "N-never mind. Second favorite, then."

In a bit of slightly awkward silence, we set about making tea, him using fire magic to get the water warm instead of us having to go down to the kitchens for it. Once we sat down to drink the tea, though, the silence became comfortable again. That made me happy. I had so few memories to draw on, six or seven years at this point. I was constantly afraid of messing things up…

"This is exactly what I needed, Diadora," Arvis murmured after a moment. His smile was softer and I smiled back, relieved. "Thank you. I suppose I have been wallowing about too much."

"Not too much," I disagreed. It had barely been a month since Alicia had passed. "But she would be very mad if you hurt your health."

"That's true." He sipped his tea and looked out the window, over the city. Since we were deep in winter now, snow made the city all sparkly and festive. "She was always a believer in mourning how you felt was right."

"Yes." She'd helped me dearly when Grandfather had passed. "Ah, what was it that you were looking at, though? When I came in?"

"Hmm? Oh, a letter from Bloom. Ishtar is bugging him about coming to visit again and..." His faint cheer disappeared entirely. "And some bits about Tailtiu."

"Oh." I had never met Tailtiu, only knowing her second hand. Bloom's younger sister, and Ethnia's elder sister. One of Azel's dearest friends, alongside Lex. But Lex was dead, Azel was missing, and Tailtiu was driven mad by the experience, or so Bloom said. "Can you not visit?"

"I asked, but Bloom worries that it'll just set her off more." Arvis smiled bitterly and it hurt my heart. To make things better for the people, he had lost so much. I wished I could make the pain disappear, but I knew I couldn't. He'd carry it for the rest of his days. "She has a daughter, though. A three-year-old girl named Tine."

"Does she?" Three years old… that was just a year younger than Julius and Julia. "Anything about the father?"

"Nothing." Arvis grimaced. "Which means, likely, she's an illegitimate noble child and…" He growled in frustration, and I caught his hand before he pulled at his hair again. "Why must they be so stubborn…!"

"We'll get through, in time." Despite Arvis's best efforts, while legally, things were better for single mothers and illegitimate children, socially… not so much. It was particularly frustrating for him, since he'd been working on this change for almost a decade. "But that means it won't be safe for Tine here, will it?"

"Probably not. At least not while she's so young. She's in Alster, with Bloom." He relaxed enough to smile. "He's asking for tips on how to braid hair. Tine isn't quite as rambunctious as Ishtar, it seems."

"I doubt she had so many people indulging her!" In fact, Ishtar's mother, Hilda, always tried to curb some of Ishtar's spiritedness, saying it wasn't 'proper'. Alicia always argued that children should be children and spoiled Ishtar silly. I half-wondered if it was because Ishtar was the same age as her children. "We should send some ribbons, at least." That gave me a good idea and I stood up to slide behind him to hug him. "Hey, Arvis, why don't we take the afternoon off?"

"What?" He stared at me like I'd suggested we strip naked and jump into a public fountain. "But there's work to be done!"

"You are a complete workaholic." I shook my head. "You should relax. You know how Alicia would scold you." It was mean to use her memory, but it had the intended effect. "We can have lunch with the twins, and then a walk through the market..."

"But work…"

"Are you really picking paperwork over your wife?" I turned away sharply, as if in a huff. "I see how it is."

"Th-that's not…!" Arvis immediately began panicking, but he scowled when I giggled. "That's a cheap trick."

"But it works." I smiled innocently, and after a moment, he softened. Even if my antics exasperated him, he also found them endearing. I wondered if I'd been this playful before I lost my memories. I'd taken up the attitude as a means of trying to outweigh the uncertainty that came with amnesia. "So?"

"Yes, yes, you win. But I do need to finish that one paper I'd been working on. It's due today."

"I'll help, then." This was how we worked, after all. I was the Naga Major, and he was the one Grandfather entrusted the kingdom, now empire, to. Between us, we would protect everyone. "Shall we?"

"Wow, there's so much!" Julius breathed, twisting this way and that, trying to see everything. I had to shift a bit to not accidentally drop him. "Wow…"

"The market is livelier than normal," I agreed, finally tucking him against my shoulder. "It must be because the new year isn't far off." I smiled at him and tucked his hair behind his ear, careful to not jar his circlet. Julius wore it because, no matter how many times we reassured, he just didn't like people staring at him. Julia wore one to match him. "Ah, Arvis, not so fast!"

"Daddy! You're too far ahead!"

"Ah, sorry!" Arvis called, turning slightly to face us, though he had to be careful with it. He carried Julia piggyback, to her utter delight. "I was trying to find a little more space."

"It's fine, dear," I reassured, catching up. Julius sulked a little more, but smiled when Arvis did. "Now, no trying to work. This is not a market inspection. This is us spending time with our adorable children."

"I don't see why it can't be both…" He panicked a little when I scowled. "Yes, yes, sorry, dear."

"I thought so." I smiled triumphantly and we began walking through the market, waving to people as we passed. Well, Julius and Julia waved. Arvis and I only smiled, trying to make sure the children didn't fall. They really had too much energy. "Let's see… how about some candy?"

"For the children?" Arvis frowned skeptically, though Julia and Julius both lit up. "They'll ruin their dinner."

"Oh, it's okay every once in a while."

"Aren't you normally the scolding one?"

"Just for you, my love." I smiled down at Julius, who practically bounced with excitement. "So, what sort of candy?"

"I want…!" Julius began. He paused, though, and reached out for Julia, tugging her sleeve. "I want what Julia wants!"

"But I want what Julius wants," Julia instantly replied, frowning slightly. I had to fight back a sigh as I realized what I did, again, and Arvis laughed. This wasn't the first time this had happened. While I had always heard of how difficult young children found it to share, Julius and Julia never seemed to mind. Which made it difficult when it came to actually getting them things. "You pick."

"No, you pick!" Julius pouted, and Julia sulked. Arvis, the cad, just kept on laughing and refusing to help. I should be grateful these were the only arguments they had, but… "Pick!"

"No! You pick!"

"How about I pick?" Arvis suggested, finally stopping his laughter. He must've noticed how exasperated I was getting. "Is that all right with you two?"

"Okay!" they chorused, all back to smiles. I, however, looked a little sourly at him, because he could have done that sooner. "Yay! Candy!" That said, the twins' cheer made me smile, and we were off, grabbing some candy and a couple of other little things.

We walked around the market for quite some time, until Julius and Julia nodded off, and then we made our slow way back to the castle. The servants greeted us cheerfully, quite a few cooing over the 'little prince and princess', so it took a while to actually get them tucked into their beds for a nap. None of that was surprising, of course, or at least, it wasn't as surprising as stepping out of the room to see Aida waiting for us. She'd been in Isaach for the past couple of months, sadly missing Alicia's funeral. The plan, however, had been for her to be there for at least another month, so her being back early was… odd. But nice.

"Aida!" I greeted warmly, skipping over to hug her. Arvis lingered back to make sure the door was shut. "When did you get back?"

"Just now, my lady," Aida replied, returning the hug. She and I had a few… awkward moments early in my courtship with Arvis, mostly because she was Arvis's best friend and I knew about Cyas. She had promptly solved it by dragging me out to a tavern of all places and telling me all sorts of silly stories about him before promising to hurt him if he hurt me. It had been very confusing, too confusing to be awkward really. "My apologies for not sending word ahead. We just barely avoided a sandstorm in Yied."

"Oh, ick!" I pulled away and winced at the sunburns I could see. "You should see…" Automatically, I almost said 'Alicia', but that… couldn't happen anymore. "Cowen for that."

"I'll see my father soon anyway. I need to pick up Cyas." She laughed softly, probably knowing my slip and trying to turn it into a joke. I still looked guiltily at Arvis. "Regardless, I do have a bit of good news. I think."

"You think?" Arvis repeated a little dryly. While he smiled faintly, he did look exasperated. "Last time you said this, we had to-"

"I found Conall," she declared, not letting Arvis finish that no doubt interesting sentence. I couldn't be mad, though. Conall… she had found…? "Well, he's not saying he's Conall, but he's heterochromatic, with a blue right eye and a Fjalar-red left eye, he's got the hair color, and he's got a Holy Mark for both Fjalar and Od." She shrugged. "So, he's Conall. He's just stubborn. He's the only one I found, sadly. Some bandits or something attacked the village and sent people scattering."

"But he's here?" Arvis smile hesitantly, like he wasn't certain he wanted to hope. "He's…"

"Yes, he is." She snatched Arvis's arm when he tried to take off. "You don't even know where he is, and I have warnings." She looked very seriously at both of us. First off, he's not happy about being taken from the only place he remembers, dragged across the desert, and being stuck in a city he doesn't know and doesn't like. Second off, I don't know if it's a child's honesty or if he purposely trying to push buttons, but he is very sharp-tongued for a child. He will use it on you two. I know it."

"But he's safe." Arvis smiled warmly, looking ready to cry. "He's safe. That's… that'll be enough for me."

"Just preparing you. It'll hurt, but it'll hurt less if you brace." She smiled back, looking quite pleased with herself. I could understand why. We had been looking for the children for five years. This was honestly the first sign we had that they were still alive. "This way."

Aida led us quickly and confidently down a couple of halls to one of the lesser used studies in the royal wing. Two knights guarded the door proudly, though they left quickly when Aida dismissed them. She knocked on the door for us, smiled reassuringly, and left to let us meet with our nephew in private. After a moment to gather our courage, and for me, at least, to calm my pounding heart, we opened the door and stepped inside.

A little boy sat sullenly in the middle of the floor, pointedly ignoring the chairs and pillows provided. He clung tightly to a black stuffed-dog while playing with a single earring, a gold and ruby drop with the ruby wrapped with gold wire. His hair was a little long, but the same shade as Arvis's. His eyes, blue right and red left, sparked with quiet anger as he stared right at us, daring us to say something. Though Aida had warned us, I hadn't quite expected such open hostility. Alicia's hostility towards Manfroy was always frosty. This was like a fire, just barely contained.

"Is this where you drop meteors on me?" the boy asked with a surprisingly amount of sarcasm. I didn't know six-year-olds even knew what sarcasm was. "That's how you greet people, right? You bring them in with promises of shelter and then burn them alive?" Arvis flinched and I stiffened, angered on Arvis's behalf. Aida had warned us, yes, but…! "I don't know what Grannvalle etty-cuit is like." ...That said, mispronouncing etiquette reminded me that he was just a child. A very angry, very lost child who had been dragged from everything he knew on the whims of strangers. Of course he would be hurtful. He had to be almost screaming with pain and he was a child. Children lashed. Honestly, even adults lashed out.

Besides, I knew that fear. Often, I thanked the gods of how lucky I was that Arvis had found me. Those first few weeks, months, of not knowing anything, of being surrounded by strangers and being trapped by their actions… Arvis had been kind and reassuring. Arvis had helped me find my footing, and slowly, I began to rebuild my life and find happiness, a happiness that was true and real, no matter what was there in my missing past. And this little boy needed the same. Matching anger with anger wouldn't work, or so I thought. At least, matching different kinds of anger wouldn't. Besides, he was Alicia's son. She had always been so patient with me.

So, I walked a little closer and crouched down so that I was on eye-level with him. "Hello there," I greeted, giving him my best smile. His anger faded for a bit of confusion and a bit of uncertainty. "You're Conall, yes? I'm Diadora. I'm your aunt."

"...Seliph…" Conall mumbled. However, before I could ask, he looked away. "Hi." Then there was nothing. He remained silent, half-glaring at me.

I, however, decided to keep at it. "Your dog is adorable."

"Dad bought it, or so I'm told." He leaned around me to glare angrily at Arvis. I winced as I thought of another reason why he was angry. Regardless of intentions, Arvis did accidentally kill his father, and we had far more time with his mother than he ever had. Why wouldn't he be angry? He wasn't just more or less kidnapped by strangers, he had been 'kidnapped' by people tied to the parents he didn't know. "Same with the earring."

"It's a pretty earring." I resolved myself to try and be as patient as possible. I couldn't let him get away with too much, but this anger… I couldn't tell him it was wrong. He'd just be convinced that we were the 'worst'. "Why is there only one? Did the other get lost?"

"Riona has it."

"Riona?"

"...My sister."

"Oh!" I felt embarrassed I hadn't figured it out sooner. 'Caitriona', really a beautiful name, could easily shorten to 'Riona'. "I see."

After another moment of silence, I looked at Arvis, and he caught my silent words and nodded before leaving. I would take the next couple of days off, to help Conall get settled. I had a better chance at helping Conall find his initial footing than him. I just hoped Conall would let me. It was hard to deal with such open hostility. It dug deep in my heart, deeper than it probably should.

I wondered if I had been hated by people I had wanted to like me before. I didn't like that thought at all.

The next day, I took Conall down to the market to get him some new clothes and shoes. I had tried to take his hand, mostly to make sure I didn't lose him in the crowd, but he shied away. He wouldn't let me touch him. However, unlike say… Ishtar, Conall was very good at staying near in a crowd, not ever going far and when the crowd did push us apart, he was quick to return to my side. He did it with so much practice that I wondered who taught him, and I half-wondered how. Keeping the children near without actively holding on to them always seemed to be as fruitless as herding cats.

Eventually, though, we made it to the tailors and sat down with their design book… thing… to pick out what sort of clothes Conall would like. Yes, most royals likely had their personal tailor in the castle, or send for them, but Arvis and I preferred to do things like this. It felt like we could have a better 'feel' for the town if we were actively out and about. It made sense to me, but we always got just enough unusual looks to hint it was unusual.

"There's quite a few in here, huh?" I murmured, helping Conall flip through. His eyes had glazed over, showing he wasn't even paying much attention. "How about you pick two that you like?" He glanced at me curiously before shrugging and taking the book from me. After a moment, he picked two I'd never seen before, but did like. "Those ones? Okay." I rang the bell so that the tailor knew we were ready. "We'd like some in these styles. Blacks and blues for now."

"Which ones?" she asked, leaning forward. When I pointed to them, she surprisingly scoffed. "Ugh, why are those designs in here?" She sighed gustily, shaking her head. "My apologies, your majesty. I didn't realize this book held such barbaric designs."

"Barbaric?" I frowned, and Conall winced. I… was missing something. "What do you mean?"

"They're Isaachian." She said the word like it was the worst thing a person could be, like 'rapist'. Now I understood quite a few things. I didn't recognize the designs because I didn't see a lot of Isaachian clothing, and Conall had picked designs that reminded him of 'home'. "Let me get a proper-"

"It's what he wants." I fixed her with the coldest stare I could manage and almost rested my hands on Conall's shoulders. I remembered, just in time, that he didn't want to be touched, so I settled for placing my hands on the desk. "So make him what he wants."

"But your majesty-"

"It is what he wants." I did my best to make my voice as commanding as possible. I wasn't going to tolerate this, for multiple reasons. "And, in case you have forgotten, mistress, my brother-in-law is Isaachian, and Conall is half. You just insulted my brother-in-law and nephew." The tailor blanched, and some part of me felt guilty. The rest was furious. "Make him what he wants. And don't you dare say another word against Isaachians again. I will make you regret ever speaking if you do." She nodded vigorously. "Go make the clothes. We'll discuss payment when we get them." I didn't normally do that. I normally paid up front, and then tipped afterwards. But I was too mad to talk pricing right now. "Thank you." She fled to the back, and I was tempted to ask about who actually owned the establishment, since I knew multiple tailors worked here. I could make quite the fuss and…

"You didn't have to do that," Conall mumbled, looking down. The words helped me calm down almost immediately. "That was a lot of fuss."

"Perhaps, but things like that threaten the dream Arvis and I share," I explained. I sighed, now feeling bad for losing my temper like that. "Arvis and I want a world that is equitable to all. Where no one has to worry about paying for food and medicine. Where one bad winter won't mean complete devastation. There are certainly barbarians in this world, but they are bandits and the like. Not Isaachians. It was cruel, and wrong, for her to say that."

"...You need to tell your own people that. Not me." He still wouldn't look up at me. "Where are we going now?"

"The cobbler." I nodded to his shoes. "Yours don't seem to fit."

"When we had to run, we didn't stop for shoes. These are some random person's. Mine fit better." The words were sour. "I got caught because I went back for my dog."

"I… I see." I wasn't sure what to say. Sometimes, I was reminded he was a child. Other times, he seemed far older than he should. "Ah… this way?"

He followed me carefully, just as he did before. Thankfully, the cobbler had been much less aggravating, greeting Conall politely and warmly while taking tracings and measurements of his feet. Afterwards, we walked through the market itself, just to show Conall around. I had tried to buy him a few toys, but he had refused, saying that his dog was enough. That honestly just… confused me further. All the children I had met never said 'no' to a new toy. I wasn't really sure what to do, even if I had told myself that I would help him find his footing.

As we left the market, a certain idea wormed its way into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. So, I led him through the castle and he followed closely. At least, until we had to head down some stairs. Then he got suspicious, for some reason.

"What's down there?" he asked, eyeing it warily. All I could think was how Cyas, Ishtar, Julius, and Julia always thought there was something 'cool' and 'secret' about the crypts. "Why are we heading here?"

"It's the crypts," I explained. After a moment, I smiled hesitantly. "I forgot to burn incense for your parents this morning, you see."

"My…?" His entire demeanor locked up and then he pushed past me, racing down the steps. I followed closely, worried he'd fall, but he only tripped at the end and kept his footing. At the bottom of the steps, though, he froze, overwhelmed by the sheer number of graves likely. He followed me closely as we navigated through until we reached his parents graves. There were fresh flowers on both, and I wondered who brought them. Maybe Ayra.

He sat down in front of them, staring at the names. Staring at the dates. He was completely silent, so I focused on lighting some of the incense there, some extras I would keep tucked nearby in case I ever forgot to buy some new ones before coming down. It had happened… quite a few times. I could be horribly scatterbrained sometimes. That was a reason why I often had to use the candles left down here to actually light the incense. I hoped Alicia and Chulainn liked these scents. Conall didn't react to them at all.

"Dad would sing us lullabies," he whispered suddenly. I glanced down at him, startled he would say anything at all. "I remember the melodies, but that's just because they were Isaachian and we heard them growing up. But he'd sing us lullabies."

"Is that all you remember?" I asked softly. I set up the last incense and then crouched down next to him. "What about Alicia?"

"Health check ups." He said it easily, and I had to admit, I could see that. She had tended to Julia and Julius personally, when they were babies. "A kind smile. Warm hugs. Bright laughter. Animals." It took me a moment to realize he was listing what he remembered about both of his parents, and it broke my heart at how… generic they were. "Mom always smelled of medicine. Shanan says she made a lot, so the smell clung to her. Dad always smelled of the oil you use to maintain swords. He was a mercenary. He took care of his swords."

"Anything else?"

"No, not really." He curled into himself and I saw him tear up. "I mean; we get stories. There's pictures. But no, I don't remember anything else. It's just…" He broke down crying and curled into a little ball. "I want Riona! I want Mom! I want Dad!" Automatically, I reached out to hold him, but he slapped my hand away. "Why did you have to take them from me?! Why do you have to steal everything for your stupid dream?!"

I had no answer to that. At least, I had none that satisfied me. He also refused any attempts of comfort I had. So I could do nothing but sit there and watch him wail himself into a faint. Even then, I had to get another servant to take him to his room while I ran to Arvis, bursting into my own tears as soon as I found him, to his confusion.

I had hoped bringing him down here would help him, but instead, I made it worst. Gods, what was I supposed to do?

The next few days, Conall refused to leave his room. I felt horrible, though Arvis reassured me that I had good intentions and, honestly, it wasn't like we could hide it forever. Conall already knew his parents were dead. Hiding where they were buried would have been much worse. Aida also pointed out that considering everything, it would've been weirder if he didn't have a break down. I still felt like it was my fault, though. I could've waited, or blunted the worst of it. Now he was holed up, not opening the door for anyone. The only real sign we had that he was alive was that the servants, thank their patience, left food for him by the door, and some hours later, the plates were neatly stacked outside, empty.

"Ah, what are we going to do?" I murmured, walking down the hall. Normally, I would be in meetings at this hour, but they ended early. "Arvis and I should've discussed something like this more." For some reason, it had never occurred to us that integrating Alicia's children into the family would be any sort of difficult. Perhaps it was arrogance, since Alicia had fit in so well. "Maybe I should ask…" Honestly, there was no 'maybe' about it. I did need to ask others for advice. Cowen seemed the most likely, because the healer background should, hopefully, help him take into account Conall's own pain when giving said advice. "Julius and Julia really want to meet him…" They were practically vibrating with excitement. They had loved their Aunt Alicia. Without even meeting him, they loved Conall. "What I mess I've made…"

"Mother got super mad, but Tine laughed!" Ishtar's cheerful voice filtered down the hall and I smiled as I decided to follow it. Like most of the children, Ishtar had been devastated by Alicia's death, not helped by how Alicia had always gone out of her way to spoil and dote on her. "Have I told you about Tine? She's one of my cousins and is super sweet!" I did have to wonder who she was talking to, though. Thanks to Hilda, Ishtar didn't actually have a lot of friends. As far as I knew, aside from Cyas, Julius, and Julia, her only other friends were a young page in the Friege forces named Reinhardt and her little brother, Ishtore. But Reinhardt and Ishtore always remained in Alster when Ishtar tagged along with her father to come here, Cyas was having lessons with his mother, and Julius and Julia were napping. "Did I tell you about my other cousins? Amid and Linda are both nice, though I don't get to see them often."

I finally stepped around a corner and saw Ishtar, but where she was confused me even further. She was sitting outside Conall's room, with papers and books strewn about her. She was also completely alone, without a single person in sight.

"Ishtar?" I called. She paused mid-story and waved to me. "Ishtar, what are you doing?"

"Talking to Conall!" she answered, in 'what does it look like?' tone only a child could pull off. "Well, talking at him mostly. Sometimes he answers, but most of the time, he's silent." She jumped to her feet and skipped over to hug me. "Still, he's pretty smart, and he likes adventure stories!"

"Is that so?" I stroked her hair and smiled when she giggled. "Still, this is a bit…"

"Hmm? Oh, well, I don't agree with Cyas." She stepped back, hands on her hips. "Cyas is the one who told me he was here, and he was all 'oh, we should wait because he is hurting and angry'. And I guess it makes sense. I mean; Cyas pointed out that we got way more time with Aunt Alicia than Conall ever did."

"That is… true." Once again, though, Cyas showed a wisdom beyond his age. Then again, Cyas was fourteen, much older than the others. "We had her for five years." Conall only had her for a year and a half, a time he could barely remember.

"Right? So, he's all 'give him time', but I think that the best way to fix loneliness is to actually be there! I mean; that's what I like when I'm lonely." She held up her fists determinedly, like she was going to punch the loneliness away. "Besides, I've got to do lesson work and I'd just be sitting in my room doing that alone anyway." She gasped and darted back to her work. "Argh, I got distracted by the story. Where was I?" She growled in wordless frustration. "Math is hard! Why do I have to learn math? I hate math!"

"...What's the equation?" Conall's voice was very quiet and horribly muffled through the door, but Ishtar smiled brightly. "Read it to me."

"What's closer to five: three or nine?" Ishtar asked. It didn't seem to matter to her that there was a door between her and Conall. She just… accepted it. It was part of their 'friendship' for now. "I don't want count."

"Three."

"Yay! Thankees!" She wrote it down on her paper gleefully. "Anyway, where did I leave off with the story?"

"Tine laughed."

"That's right!" Then she was off rambling about the story, apparently about some prank she taught Ishtore. I watched a little longer before leaving, not wanting to disturb them, and being a little… curious if Ishtar's approach would work.

It seemed so. I would swing by whenever I had time over the next couple of days, and each time, it seemed like Conall and Ishtar were conversing through the door, with Conall's responses getting longer and longer. Then, finally, about a week and a half after I messed up, Conall left his room at last. He sat next to Ishtar and did her homework with her, and read with her, the two squabbling over when to turn the page. He didn't stay out long, retreating back to his room as soon as she had to leave for dinner, but the day after that, Conall saw me checking in and tentatively smiled. That was enough for me. That was a sign that we could keep going after that misstep. We would be fine.

Arvis and I debated on when we would introduce Julius and Julia to their cousin during the time when Conall refused to leave his room. Arvis thought it would be best for him to not be around whenever it happened, as Conall most strongly associated him with his parents' deaths. I knew it hurt Arvis more than anything, but he took it stoically. Conall's safety and happiness was far more important to him, and I knew it broke his heart to have prioritized 'the people' over 'Alicia and Azel'. In a way, I knew, he considered the pain just more atonement for the pain he inflicted on his siblings.

It turned out, however, that we might as well not have bothered planning out a meeting at all. You could only stop a child's curiosity for so long, and four year olds didn't exactly have the greatest concept of 'waiting'. Combined with general excitement, it was clear that only Conall locking himself in his room and prevented Julius and Julia from ambushing him sooner.

"Yay! You've hair like mine!" Julius cheered, arms wrapped around Conall's neck. Conall had apparently decided walking through the gardens were a good idea, maybe because the snowstorm last night had left it empty, and that's when Julius and Julia jumped on him. Literally. I'd happened to be walking on the second floor of the castle that opened up to the garden, and had heard the laughter. "Told you!"

"He could've had different!" Julia grouchily replied. She clung to Conall's arm, on the opposite side from Julius. Poor Conall just looked between them, very confused, no doubt because they had him pinned to the ground. They all had snow on their clothes and faces. "I've different."

"True. But I was right!"

"Meanie!"

"Um… who are you two?" Conall asked hesitantly. He slowly pushed himself up to sit, looking between them. I wondered if I should head down to interfere. "Hi?"

"Hello!" Julius greeted, smiling brightly. He let go of Conall's neck to sit eagerly in front of him. "I'm Julius! That's Julia! We're twins!"

"Okay… then…?" Conall still looked baffled, and a little pained. He had a twin sister. He had to miss her dearly. "That's… nice to meet you?"

"Nice to meet you!" Julius laughed. "Let's play!"

"Play?"

"Yes! Let's play tag!"

"No tag," Julia refused sullenly. Unlike Julius, she hadn't let go of Conall. "You hurt earlier."

"I'm fine!" Julius replied. Now he was sulking. Conall looked more and more confused. "Just fine."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Oh, wait, you two are my cousins," Conall whispered. I had to lean a little against the railing to catch the words. "Right, the servants said Julius was frail. Like Diarmuid." He nodded and smiled softly at them. "What about making some snowmen, you two?"

"Snowmen?" Julius repeated, breaking off the argument with Julia. "What's a snowmen?"

"Here, I'll show you." He stood up and took their hands. "We've got enough snow to make a good one."

I really should've left by then, since I was just on break between meetings, but I couldn't help but linger and watch. I was surprised by how quickly, and easily even, Conall took to the two. Glad, certainly. Julius and Julia had never met a person who hated them, yet, and I didn't want their first experience to be with someone they adored. But surprised, because of how cautious and distant Conall usually was. Even with Ishtar, he was only just now starting to open up. Yet he was so gentle with Julius and Julia. He taught them how to how to make a little ball from snow and roll it until it was bigger. He let them decide where to set up the snowman, and helped them find things to decorate it with. Various twigs, berries, that sort of thing. When Julia worried about the snowman getting cold, he gave it his own scarf, and then knelt down to help fix Julia's.

I marveled at it for a moment before remembering something Alicia had once mentioned. She hadn't sent her children to Isaach alone. There had been three caretakers, and many children. Conall would've been one of the oldest in that group. There might have been others that were the same age as Julius and Julia. This… this might be a role he was used to. And maybe some of the distance was because we had… if he was used to a group, then maybe things like giving him his own room, meant in kindness, had simply…

The thought and questions haunted me throughout the rest of the day, even as I attended meetings checking on how our orphanage program was going, and addressing some concerns brought up by the shelters set up to help the abused find shelter and care. I did my best to focus, of course, but whenever there was a break, my mind would wander back to that. So, when I finished my last meeting of the day, before dinner, I went to go find Conall. It took a bit to find him because he wasn't in the gardens or his room. Instead, he was in the library, reading. Julius and Julia were curled up next to him, and there was a closed book nearby, carefully marked. He must've read to them. I thought he was a little young for it, but I was rapidly learning that I honestly didn't know much besides the bare minimum when it came to children.

"Oh, um… hi," Conall greeted awkwardly when he saw me. He made to stand, but then Julius mumbled in his sleep and grabbed onto his arm. "Er…"

"No, no, don't worry," I reassured. I hoped it was reassuring. This was the first proper conversation we'd had since his breakdown in the crypt. "I did have a question, though."

"Yes?" Conall set his book down and Julia sleepily complained and shifted to curl up more in his lap. "What is it?"

"Is…" A thousand questions, actually, came to mind, but I thought I'd start with, honestly, one of the first questions I should've asked. "Is your room okay?"

"My… room?"

"Yes. Is it…?" I tried to figure out how to ask, before deciding to not suggest anything. That wasn't what I needed to ask. Instead, I needed to ask… "Is there anything we can do to make it more comfortable for you?"

"Uh…" Conall frowned, sticking his tongue out a little as he thought very hard. "It's a little big. It's cold. It's too quiet. Wait, that's not answering things."

"Might take a bit to find a better room, but do you want to room with Julius and Julia until we can?" I was very hesitant, thinking it might insult him or something, but his entire expression lit up with a bright-bright smile. I was honestly stunned by it and I half-wondered if this had been what Alicia's smile had been like, before everything happened. Or was this what Chulainn's smile had been like? Regardless, that smile was answer enough. "Let's move your things, after dinner, then."

I could see what I did wrong before. I should've kept letting him choose, as I had when he chose the designs for his clothes. He already had to adapt and felt like things were out of control. But choices let him regain control and find his footing. We had to walk together, at his pace. It seemed so obvious, but I supposed every day was a new learning experience. We… we could muddle through.

I took the lesson to heart and started asking Conall things. What did he like? What didn't he like? They were obvious questions, but important, especially since they let me really learn about him. With the questions, Conall slowly began opening up. He was most open with Ishtar, Julius, and Julia, but slowly, he let me in too. I was glad for it.

"Why do I have to be 'presented' to the public?" Conall asked me. We were in the 'children's room', as we had taken to calling it after Conall moved in with Julia and Julius, I was making sure his formal wear actually fit, and was comfortable. "I don't like crowds."

"It's because you are a prince," I explained, helping with the buttons. The formal wear was more of a 'Grannvallian' style than 'Isaachian', meaning it had far more buttons than he was used to, or liked. "The people should meet you."

"Can I just not be a prince?"

"Not at this point. If I'd married someone else, you might have had a chance." The words felt heavy on my tongue, and I winced at the pain I felt at the words. I truly did wonder if I had been married once before. But if so, what happened to them?

"Are you hurting?"

"Mmm… not a physical pain." Still, I smiled, touched he would ask. "Regardless, there really are too many buttons. I don't see how Arvis gets ready on his own."

"Will these always have so many buttons?"

"I promise that your next formal wear will be more Isaachian, like you prefer." Unlike Grannvalian clothing, Isaachian clothing seemed to involve more robes and surcoats, subtle in their richness. A few books I had read highlighted that they used ribbons and scarves to dress things up, with minimal jewelry and embroidery. Grannvalian clothing used a lot of capes. "Do you mind suffering through this just for the presentation?"

"Can I change into my normal clothes as soon as possible?"

"As soon as I can help you escape."

"Then okay." He sulked at the thought, and I had to giggle. "It's itchy. The embroidery."

"I'll get them to fix that."

"My, what a heartwarming scene." The mildly patronizing voice made my skin crawl, but I plastered a polite smile on my face as I turned to face Manfroy. "So, this is our young prince, yes?" he asked, looking right at Conall. "How interesting." He wasn't often at the palace, and I was grateful for that. Perhaps it was wrong of me, but I just couldn't relax when he was around. I felt horrifically uncomfortable. "Two colored eyes, hmm?" But I felt worse about Manfroy staring at Conall so calculatingly, so I tried to shift in front of him to block Manfroy's view. "Rare, that."

"You're staring at me weird," Conall told him bluntly. Maybe it was because he was a child, but he matched Manfroy's gaze almost defiantly, without a trace of fear or discomfort. "Are you one of those pedo-whatever people? That's creepy, you know. Skulking about the shadows is creepy too. Like you're a really bad spy in a story or the villain wanting to destroy everything."

"...I am strangely unsurprised her child is so rude." Manfroy sighed, and I had to bite my tongue. Even if I didn't like him, Manfroy was a guest. "Goodness."

"You're the one who showed up uninvited." Conall scowled and clung to my sleeve. I realized then just why Conall was so hostile. He'd noticed how uncomfortable I was. That touched me. "Bye." Then, to my surprise, Conall stomped over, shoved Manfroy's knee to make him stumble back, and shut the door right in his face. "He's icky. I hate him."

"Now, Conall," I began, trying to be chiding. I did have to admit to being horribly amused, though. "You should be polite to guests."

"Even ones like him?" Conall asked, sulking. I had to bite back a giggle. This was important. "He was rude. And creepy. And rude."

"Yes, even ones like him." I waved him back over so that I could finish getting these clothes on him. "It's just polite."

"Etty… whatever… sucks." Conall fell silent for a moment, and then his eyes lit up. "Oh! I can pull a prank with Ishtar!"

"...Make sure you only get him, okay?" I shouldn't encourage this, but I really didn't like Manfroy. I felt bad for it, but… "Though remember that he suffered greatly growing up." Manfroy led the Loptyrians, a group horrendously persecuted in the past. Arvis had told me about how he'd survived being burnt on the stake, and how his friends and family had not been so lucky. "So…"

"That doesn't mean you get to be rude."

"No, but it is good to keep in mind." Finally, all the buttons were done and I sat back on my heels. "So, other than the itchy embroidery and too many buttons, how is it?"

"I can deal. Once." he pulled at the sleeves, though. He wanted it off as soon as possible. "Oh, can I get my ears pierced with Ishtar?"

"Hmm?" That… hadn't been anything I expected. "Well, of course, but…" Then, however, I remembered the earring he had brought with him. That and his stuffed-dog… that was all he had of his old life. "With Ishtar?"

"She wants her ears pierced, but the needle scares her. So, I thought I could get it done with her." His eyes darkened slightly, and I wondered who he was thinking about. The look was gone in an instance, though. "I don't know what to put in the other ear, though…"

"We can go to the market and buy you one that'll match." I began helping him out of the formal wear and he smiled warmly. The smile, and how he'd reacted when Manfroy was here, made me decide to ask something. "Say, Conall, do you think you can have dinner with all of us? Including Arvis?" I tried to not feel sad when he didn't answer immediately. I couldn't blame him, and I didn't want to push him. But I knew Arvis would love it. Conall and Arvis hadn't even really been in the same room since their meeting. "You don't have to."

"...Will you tell me more about the dream you two have?" He looked at me solemnly. "The one he let my parents die for. Will you tell me?"

"Of course."

"Then, okay." He smiled sadly and looked like he was about to cry. But instead of curling up and keeping away, he leaned into me and let me hug him. "I'll try."

I did my best to explain what I could to Conall, though there was sadly many things he simply couldn't understand. Even with how wise he sometimes seemed, he was only six years old and hurting terribly. But I think he got understood enough. Certainly, when he arrived for the family dinner, he wasn't outright hostile. He wasn't welcoming, but he was polite even to Arvis. Arvis's smile told me how much he appreciated even that small bit and that soothed me.

Conall was an unexpected complication, and one that would likely shape our lives forever. But I wouldn't change it. He was my nephew, after all. I loved him.

Author's note: Welcome to Memoirs of Belhalla, a sidestory focused on the early years of the empire from Diadora/Deirdre's POV (meaning that her thoughts and 'knowledge' on certain events is based on what she's been told). Mirroring how Memoirs of Velthomer had a prologue in a different POV than the rest, the epilogue of this story will be from a different POV. Also like Memoirs of Velthomer, this will be a short story (it will actually cover the same number of years, nine, if you exclude the prologue of Memoirs of Velthomer).

The whole story is born from how the game states that the early years of Arvis's reign were quite prosperous, and wanting to expand a little on that. Also thought it would be fun to show Arvis's own struggles and remorse after the Belhalla massacre, and to show Julius and Julia before certain plot events occur. (And, you know, showing Conall's childhood.)

In Gen2, it's noted that Friege forces found Tailtiu and her daughter, Tine, and the two lived in Alster (in the Manster District) from then on (and implied that Tine was very young when it happened). Given certain character-important events needing to be intact, I'm having it where Arvis continues to be completely unaware of Tailtiu's relationship with Azel (since this ties in with Memoirs of the Holy War, of course) and thus, has no idea that Tine is his niece, with Bloom also keeping Tailtiu and Tine away from the court. Reinhardt is an infamous character from FE5, and a popular char in FE Heroes due to him kinda being a powerhouse in that game as well. It's mentioned in FE5 that Ishtar has known Reinhardt since she was a child.

Around age 6 and 7, children are tend to start learning how to visualize numbers on a number line, and thus slowly understanding things like "five is closer to three than nine".

Next Chapter - Climb