Updraft
It was one of those cold, brisk days in the middle of November. Old Halloween decorations that hadn't been taken down had frost on them, and the old remains of pumpkins were on the ground, half eaten by squirrels. The little fellers are cute, I think.
Darry, Pony and I were playing football with the gang, and one guy named Warren from Shepard's outfit decided to come along to the game too.
I was freezing inside my jacket, but I could still work up a sweat as I ran to get open. "Soda, go long!" I heard Darry yell as the ball came heading my way. As I landed the touchdown, I heard cheering and jeering. Two bit was wise cracking at me since he was on the other team, (the losing team), so I knocked him in the head lightly.
"Dang, Soda, you got brawn over there," Steve pointed at Darry, "and speed over here!" Steve slapped me on the back. "Nice throw, Darry."
He congratulated me and Darry. Then Ponyboy came over and began to rant, "Hey Soda, that ain't fair! These teams aren't balanced." Even though he turned sixteen just a few days ago, he still acts like the kid he is.
"Sure they are, Pony! You got three and we got three." I responded gladly.
"No, we got two guys and a scatterbrained knucklehead!" He pointed over at Two-Bit, who was trying to balance the football on his nose. It fell onto his face and then over his back, making him fall right with it.
I laughed. "Yessiree, but you made the teams last time. Anyway, why is the track and baseball star complaining?" Pony had gotten into baseball that summer and he was a sterling champion.
"Soda, come on." Steve was at my back. "Let's stop chatting and start playing!"
Before I had a chance to offer, I saw a guy in a grey shirt and leather jacket come over to us. He had a large build, sorta like Darry.
"Excuse me, boys, but I couldn't help noticing you playing." He turned to Darry, who was standing a few feet away from me. "And you, son, have a fantastic arm and a lot of muscle. Have you ever thought about applying for a college foot ball league?"
"No sir," he replied, "I haven't been in college. I don't have the money to apply." He said, controlling any hint of recrimination, sadness or anger he might've had.
Darry has always been smart. Real smart. He got mostly A's in every class, except for history, when his worst grade was a B minus. Both Pony and Darry are real smart…I'm just a setback. I've always felt bad because I know my life won't go nowhere, even if I did ever get the money for college. And I feel real guilty too, because I know that if I weren't here, Darry would be in college and he and Pony would both be living just fine. Working down at the gas station is the only way I can tell myself I'm not hindering them more.
The man continued. "You're not in school?" he asked.
"No." Darry said.
"Would you like to be?"
Darry's eyes lit up a little, forcing his face to not get over excited. This might not be anything, but I sure hoped it was something. "Yes sir," he let a little smile simmer on to his face.
"I'm Bill Bardy, the foot ball coach at the University of Tulsa. I'd really like to have you on the team." I could've sworn I heard Darry's heart skip a beat. "What's you name, son?"
"Darrel Curtis." I thought it was amazing how controlled and thrilled he could sound at the same time.
"Would you like it if I gave you a scholarship to the U-of-T?"
It was obvious Darry couldn't contain a colossal smile that spread on his face like chocolate icing. "Yes sir!" he responded excitedly.
"Well, Darrel Curtis, can I have your phone number and address?" He took a pad of paper and a pen out of his pocket.
Darry jotted down the information as if in a daze.
"Thanks. I hope I'll be seeing you next semester, we'll be in touch." He handed Darry a business card and drove away in his tuff black mustang.
Darry stared at that card like it was a gift from God himself.
Things began to change quickly. As Darry began college, Pony got a job, but his is only part time since Darry would sooner die if Pony dropped out like me. Saturday mornings with the gang were just a dream since we began our shifts real early. Since Darry wasn't working as much, we had to pull up our other end. So when Pony walked down the street to the seven eleven to begin his day, we all knew eating chocolate cake and pop with Two-bit, Darry, Steve and Pony while sitting round the television was just a fantasy. Even more so because I began working early on Saturdays, too
More changed. Sure we were invited to all the football games, but Darry was invited to stay in a dorm. To me and Pony's relief, Darry didn't accept it, but even if he did still live in our house, he wasn't there. He was never there, because he went out real late from the practices and after he'd go hanging around with…
I hate even thinking about this, after what happened those two years ago.
Darry began to make friends with Socs. He'd stopped being around Two-bit and Steve, and even seemed embarrassed to be around me and Pony when his Soc-y friends were around.
I didn't like it. And still don't.
He got caught up in these gangs of Socs and didn't hang with us after our jobs. He'd apologize and say that he was real sorry he couldn't, but he'd make up excuses.
"Hey buddy!" I went up to Darry one day as he came in the house. "Wanna go to the Nightly Double tonight?"
Darry turned slowly and looked at me sadly and nervously. "Aw…shoot. Sorry, Soda, I can't…Willy invited me to go with the guys to Luisa Anne's tonight. Tomorrow, okay?" He put his hand on my shoulder.
"Darry…you say that every day. You're never here." I felt disappointed, but I should know better than to keep being crushed by this. I already know he's never there anymore.
Ponyboy walked in through the door. "So are you coming with us to the movie tonight, Darry?" he said hopefully.
Darry sighed and looked at his feet. "Look, guys I'm really sorry. I just-"
"What is it Darry?" Pony's face went from optimistic to angry and brooding. "Why are you always going with those Socs, instead of us? You haven't gone anywhere with us in months!" Pony yelled.
I instinctively shrank. I can't stand these arguments and I feel worse because I'm on Pony's side. I don't normally take sides.
Darry looked up, his face remorseful. He was ashamed.
It snapped in both mine and Pony's head.
"You're embarrassed to be around us, aren't you Darry." I said finally. The words came out quietly but seemed to hit him like a punch in the gut.
He put his head down and shook it slowly. "It's not like that Soda…" he said. It wasn't clear if he was trying to explain something or reassure himself.
"That's what it is, isn't it." Pony's words were angrier, harsher. "Well you don't have to be seen in public with a couple of embarrassments like us!" His eyes turned from realizing to furious. "Come on, Soda." His eyes fell on me and his anger was contagious. I cast a saddened look over at Darry before we both left to find the guys.
The freezing February air smacked Pony and I in the skin, draining our bodies of heat. Pony'd brought a winter jacket but I only had my thin little leather one and I thought my teeth were chattering.
But Pony didn't seem like he was cold. I guess that burning anger kept him warm.
"Soda?" he asked me.
"Yea?"
"I remember two years ago…the day of the rumble…when Johnny and Dally were still alive," he gazed wistfully at the low hanging light grey clouds. "Two-bit said to me that the only thing keeping Darry from being a Soc was us. Not you and me, but the bunch of us. And now that he got the money for college..." he trailed off.
"But Pony," I said, coming closer to him, "Darry's not a Soc. He just hangs with them. He's not a piece of white trash who likes to beat on us for fun."
"Soda, I've never gotten used to his hair. I still can't and I won't." Pony was talking about how Darry stopped using grease in his hair and we had to protest for him not to throw it out. "I feel terrible. I want him to be in college but I don't want him with those damn nasty Socs. Soda, I feel so bad…" We stopped at the side of the road.
He squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips. I threw an arm around him. "It's okay, Pony." I wanted that to be true. "It'll work out. We won't let him turn into a Soc."
Pony sighed into my arm. "No we won't." he said before swallowing and continuing to walk. "We won't."
The street wound until we got to that torn up old path and parking lot where the old drive in was. Two-bit and Steve were leaning against the fence. "Hey guys, what took you so long?" Two-bit asked. "Is Darry coming?"
I sighed. "No, he's hanging with his Soc friends." I said disappointedly.
"I'm getting worried for you Brother," Steve started in. "He's been real caught up with them, 'assets to society'." Steve clawed the chain link.
Pony threw a sidelong glance. He was never the same around the guys as he used to be. I guess it's because Johnny, his closest friend, isn't there. Having Johnny there made all of us happier, but Pony was real close with him.
I gave Two-bit and Steve a glare to tell them to stop talking about it. "Come on, we'll talk about this later." My eyes flicked to Pony. "Lets go see 'Thunderball'."
Two-bit smiled like Goofy the Dog and nodded before slipping under the fence, and the rest of us followed his lead.
To one side of where we sat down there was a group of hot babes sitting together and me and Steve exchanged amused glances.
"Hey, any one of you wants some soda or popcorn?" I asked getting up from my seat. "I'm buying."
"Oh no your not." Two-bit grinned. "You need that money to put cake on your table. Here." Two-bit handed me two dollar bills.
"Aw Two-bit, that's a lot! I can't take your money."
"Sure you can. It's already in your hand!" He laughed at his own joke. That was Two-bit, always laughing at things.
I sighed. "I'm paying you back."
"Oh no you ain't!" He gave me a toothy grin.
"Soda, I'll come with you." Steve said before jumping out of his chair and joining me to shoot handsome looks at those pretty girls.
At the little snack shack there was a line of Socs. Some were giving us dirty looks. Me and Steve just smiled and looked tuff and I ran a couple hands through my hair, slicking it back.
We ordered a large popcorn, three cokes and a 'Dad's' root beer. I don't like Coke that much, root beer is more my thing. We still had some cash left over, so I bought us four candy bars.
Steve took the popcorn and two sodas from me, so I didn't have much to carry.
As we walked the way back, Steve asked, "Hey, why was it Darry didn't come tonight?"
"D'aw, you know. Him and his stupid Soc friends…Its nasty he's digging them, but I can't stop him." I kicked some dirt. "But…Darry can be so cold sometimes…it's almost like he's totally forgot."
"Shush, Soda, he ain't forgot." Steve's voice got real quiet and kind. "None of us can forget. Our gang's so small now, I still miss Johnny – and Dally."
"But it's gonna be the death of me, knowing he's hanging out with those same guys…those guys that started it all."
"It wasn't that much their fault though, Soda. They might've goaded Johnnycake, but he was the one who killed Bob."
That Steve used Johnny's nickname stabbed me in the chest. I wanted to yell at Steve – but he was the closest friend I got, like a brother. And brothers shouldn't yell at brothers.
We'd been through a lot together. We both dropped out at the same time and we helped each other hold our jobs at the gas station. From time to time, his folks would even feed me when Darry wasn't home nowadays. And I'd always try to return the favor.
"Steve…can't you see they're the ones we fought in the rumble? The guys who beat on us, jumped Johnny, not to mention my kid brother!" My teeth gritted real tight.
Steve looked at his toes. "Soda…I'm sorry. But no matter who Darry falls with, he's still a greaser, to hell if he wants it or not."
I looked Steve in the eye, "But I almost don't want him to be a greaser."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Darry's smart. Like Pony. He deserves better, even if it means him going to the west side."
"Now don't say that," He cradled all the food in one arm and folded the other around my shoulders. "At the end of the day he'll still be your brother." I leaned into his neck. "Come on, let's go see the rest of the movie."
Thunderball was a great movie, and I don't normally dig movies that much, not like the way Pony does, but this was something else. We left our seats hooting, it was a dang good movie.
As we left under the chain-link fence, we heard some hollering coming out from off in the distance.
Two-bit and I exchanged looks and we bolted down that dusty, sad little road in the dark.
We found ourselves going in the direction of the vacant lot, that place where so much had started and ended.
The vacant lot didn't belong to anyone now. It had been made clear two years ago that neither Soc nor Greaser had that land, and we hardly ever visited it. It gives me the chills and me and Pony walked by there a couple months ago in the summer and spotted out that you can still see tiny splatters of the blood. Pony wouldn't go to sleep that night, and wouldn't stop shaking.
I started slowing down when I noticed that we could see the lot. "Uh, Two-bit?" I said. "Don't you think…" I didn't finish because he knew what I was gonna say.
"Soda, there's someone screaming bloody murder out there, I wanna hear what it is." There were hollers coming from the lot, but they sounded more like laughter.
"No, Two-"
But it was too late, he was already dashing down to see what it was, so we had to chase after him.
"Soda, this place gives me the creeps…can we bolt? Please." Pony said, slowing down to my pace. He always was an all star runner.
"Soon as we get Two-bit, okay Pony?"
He nodded before turning on his turbo speed.
As we came across the noises, it was six Socs having a beer blast.
Two-bit approached them. "Come back here!" Pony whispered urgently at him.
He rolled his eyes and shrugged and walked back over to us. "Okay Pony, I'm coming, no need to get in a hissy fit." He said.
"Hey…hey greaser!" A voice came from the group of Socs, my blood chilled a little.
Before I could stop him, Steve left my side and began walking towards them. "Yea, Socs?"
"Steve, get back here!" I tried to grab him by the shoulder but he brushed me off.
"Hey, what's a bunch of you hair-greasin' white trash doin' so late at night?" The guy sounded drunk.
"Hey greaser!" another one interrupted the other, "That grease in your hair looks real familiar!" He said, stumbling towards us. I backed away, we really didn't need to get into a fight.
"Pony," I grabbed him by the arm, "Go home."
"Not without you, Soda!"
"Go home. Now." I commanded him. Pony looked into my eyes and I his. He looked scared, but not scared like he used to be. He got colder, two years ago, and his heart still hadn't thawed in the same way it used to be.
"Fine." He said. He was angry, but just in the slightest tone.
Pony began to walk away. He was safe from whatever stupid thing was going to happen, and I couldn't prevent it now.
"Yea, that grease does look awful familiar!" The soc started towards us. "I think you stole it from my car!"
My pulse began rushing. There was a little rumble coming up and I just wasn't in the mood.
"Steve, Two-bit, Come on!" I shouted, fearing for them. They turned around slowly.
"We can take 'em Soda, where's the kid?" Steve asked.
"Back at home, he's still my kid brother, I'm not letting him be here – Steve lets roll!"
It was too late though. Two-bit flew back as the sound of a punch landing on human skin bounced off the streets.
"Little thief! Get 'im!" The last words were drowned out by the half drunk, half excited cries that came from the Socs.
I came forward out of anger and fear, and socked a Soc right in the noggin. He flailed his arms and I kicked him in the back into the dirt.
Fighting my way through the crowd of them, I got to Two-bit, who was climbing on another Soc, blood streaming out his nose. "Help me with this one, Soda!" I said.
I got the big guy in a head lock, but he jerked up and I fell on the half frozen cold asphalt, straight on my wrist and side. An eerie popping noise met my ears.
Pain flowed in and out of my head making me dizzy, and the sides of my eyes began to turn all fuzzy looking. Suddenly the shouts of the fight became distant, like they were down a huge hallway. I couldn't keep my eyes open and I couldn't hear a word of it. The world was white with pain – and then a blissfully painless black.
I woke up on the couch and found my leg had been bandaged crudely. It looked like someone had crumpled a bunch of toilet paper then stuck it on my leg. But it stuck there. When I looked at it more closely, I saw that it was stuck to my leg because of the dried blood.
I moved to try to sit up.
I yelled aloud.
My head swam with a familiar pain as I surrendered to my former position.
Footsteps made me turn my head over to the hallway, there I saw Pony, rushing with ice. "Pony," I asked, my voice feeling weak, "What happened?"
"You're awake…" he said, numbly realizing it, then giving me a hug. I recoiled a little, "Sorry." He said.
"It's okay, just…what happened?"
"Y'all got into a rumble," he placed the ice pack tenderly on my arm, making me wince. "They kicked your leg and that boot sliced it right open. An' I think your wrist is broken. But Darry's not home yet and I didn't know if I should've called an ambulance." Pony's brown hair looked a little wilted. "Sorry…Soda I should've stayed, this wouldn't have happened if I did, it's my fault."
"Look Pony," I said, "I told you to go home. The same thing would've happen, but you'd be all smacked up too."
"I still could've helped."
"You know what you could do to help me, Pony?"
"What?"
"Get me a big ol' piece of chocolate cake."
"It's two in the morning, Soda!"
"So?"
"Fine, I'll get you your cake." He laughed a little. "Don't you go running off."
The door swung open, revealing Darry.
"Where were you, so late out at night!" Pony whirled around and started yelled. It's funny, a couple years ago Darry was screaming at Pony. "Don't you know that it's late and –"
"So now you're yelling at me for coming back late, huh? Listen here, you stay on top of your school work, I'll stay on top of mine. But I ain't gonna take my kid brother-" Darry stopped in mid-sentence when he noticed me on the couch. "Soda? Oh my god, Soda what happened?"
He ran over to the side of the couch.
"I…we got in a tussle. Couple of Socs started talking trash and we tried to beat 'em up."
Darry's face got all pale looking.
"Where were these guys?" he asked carefully.
"On the corner of Ash and Hawthorne…why?" Pony said, coming around to the couch.
"Oh god…y'all are sure it was there?" Pony nodded slowly, so did I (but not nearly as much because it hurt too bad.)
"I was out late…" he paused, "because Allen's in the hospital saying a bunch of greasers beat him up, and he was picked off the street right where you said you were."
Pony and I exchanged horrified, scared looks, not because a Soc was in the hospital – because Darry was friends with this Soc. And we both had no idea what was going to happen.
"You beat him up?" He said, sounding in disbelief.
"Darry – they started coming to us! We were gonna be a heap if we didn't fight back!" Pony said, amazed that he was blaming us.
"Pony, you stay out of this." I turned my attention to Darry, "I told him to go home – Two-bit and Steve started it and I had to, they were gonna hurt us real bad."
"But you didn't have to attack them the way you did!" Darry was getting angry and I didn't like the way it was going.
"They attacked us! Look at what they did to Soda!" Pony hollered.
"Well it wasn't like they were going to kill you!" Darry screamed.
The full realization of what he had said hit us hard. He looked at us and shook his head in incredulity, amazement, fear and apology and headed upstairs, not knowing what to do.
I didn't sleep too well last night because every time I moved I'd wake up from the pain.
It was early morning by the time I woke up, the sun was barely over the horizon. Pony was already in the kitchen, regardless of the fact it was six in the morning.
"Morning, Pony." I said weakly from my chair.
"Morning, Soda…" he paused. "I had a nightmare last night."
I sighed slightly, feeling bad for him. Those same nightmares he never had anymore about the crash.
"The same nightmare?" I asked.
"No – I dreamt that Darry…oh it sounds real silly."
"Dreams are silly like that, go on."
"I dreamed that Darry was a Soc and he was beating us up. That a bunch of him and his friends were ganging up on both of us and…" Pony trailed off and looked at his feet, shaking his head.
I sat up, and although the pain was hard to manage, I swallowed a yelp and gave a little room for Pony to sit.
He was trembling a little and I offered him a spot on the couch, "It's okay," I said, "That's not going to happen. Darry's still our brother, that's not going to happen."
This reminded me of years ago when Mom and Dad died, that time ago. I had to be the strong one, and I couldn't never cry, even if I need a shoulder real bad.
Just as things had began changing in November, they started changing after that night.
Darry and Pony took me to the emergency room the next morning, and they put some medicine on my leg and told me that my wrist was broken, and Darry was joking around that this was costing him a fortune. It was, and although he was joshing around, I still felt a little guilty.
But he didn't talk that much other than that. He seemed sad and ashamed of himself.
He stopped hanging with the Socs just as much. It was strange, he was home a lot more, but he still wouldn't go with us to the movies or down at a diner, or someplace. It was a month before we finally decided to ask him.
"I blew my top at them," Darry said one day. "They'd been talking about roughing up some greasers for a week – I guess they don't remember that my brothers are Greasers." It was strange – he hadn't referred to himself as a greaser. That seemed to bite me in the heart. That kind of betrayed, hurt feeling.
"And I couldn't stand it," he'd continued. "On Friday I finally got sick of it and hollered that they'd hurt my kid brother." Darry looked at his feet. "I'm so sorry, Soda. I'm so, so sorry." He shook his head at me and his eyes got a little wet.
"Whatcha being sorry for, Darry?" I asked as his hand floated over onto my cast.
"For not yelling at them earlier. I'm ashamed of myself, Soda. I let this go on, them talk trash about my friends – my family. And though they're my friends, they…just don't get it. And, you know…it's hard sometimes because I really do wanna fit in, little buddy, I really do. I don't know what to do." He buried his head in his hands.
"Darry, it'll all work out. You've been the best older brother in the world to me and Pony. You've always been there for us, and one day, after you've finished college, you're gonna get a good job and we're gonna all get a big ol' house in the country."
Darry sniffed a little bit, trying to hide his soft side, "And I'll buy you back Mickey Mouse, that mean old horse."
"You betcha. And everything's gonna work out fine. It's all going to work out."
"Soda?"
"Yea?" I answered.
"Will you and Pony be the best kid brothers?"
"Sure will. Will you be the best older brother?"
"You bet your tuff hair." He smiled at me, like he used to.
"Promise?" I asked.
"I promise."
His hardened cold eyes became like they were, back before Johnny and Dally, back before Mom and Dad. Like when we were all just kids. Just like when he promised everything would be alright with Mom and Dad. Just like he promised everything would be all right with Johnny and Dally. And I knew he was right.
Everything would be okay. He'd promised.