Because I really feel like tackling the internet sensations, while simultaneously making the pokemon characters commit suicide on their dignity.
© Satoshi Taijiri
Heavy language. And if you can identify all of them, then you have absolutely no life. Like me!
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"Hi Paul!"
"IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!!1"
"Oh Fu-!" Ash had to dodge the blue beam of light.
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"LEAVE MISTY ALONE!" Ash cried, standing in front of a yellow curtain, sobbing.
"Oh, wait. Hang on a second." He re-applied his eyeliner.
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"CHOCOLATE RAIN. SOME STAY DRY WHILE OTHERS FEEL THE PAIN." Brock sang, and turned his head away from the microphone.
"What's he doing?" Asked the music…person.
"This is where he turns away to take a breath."
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"He's the angriest gamer you've ever known! He's the angry…pokemon…nerd--!"
"FUCK THIS GAME." Paul threw a beer bottle at his NES system.
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"Hey Misty! Can you give me a kiss?" Ash asked pleadingly.
"…why?"
"For good luck!"
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Well excuuuuse me, princess!"
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"Hey Dad, can we get some Captain Crunch!?" Drew's random kid asked him.
"Fuck you kid, you're a dick."
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"GORGEOUS.
"TINY!
"GORGEOUS, TINY © MACHINE SHOW!"
Dawn came out in her pajamas, and waved to the camera.
"A-hello! Today we have a special guest! Come out Lick Poop and spin the Wheel of Fun!"
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May looked at her director.
"Okay, you sure this is gonna work?" The director nodded.
"Yeah! Nobody will ever find out that you're just an angsty teenager with no life who's an attention whore!"
"Alright! Okay…what should my screename be…?" May snapped her fingers.
"I know! Lonelygirl15!"
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Ash, Brock, Gary, and Ritchie all looked at the treadmills.
"This. Is going. To be. Awesome."
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"THAT'S IT!" Paul shouted, on a plane. (Don't ask.)
"I AM SICK OF THESE MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' PLANE!"
"…Dude, shut up."
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"This is crazy! This is madness!" Brock said, and glared down at Gary.
"Madness…
"THIS. IS. SPARTA!"
Kick.
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"ORLY?" The owl of pure evil popped up.
Punch.
"YES REALLY, GODDAMMIT. NOW GO AWAY." Drew shouted.
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"Alright, now film me dancing in Africa. It'll be totally sweet." Gary said to Ash, who held the camcorder in hand.
"Heh, whatever. Alright, now do that dance."
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"Alright, that's enough!"
"Don't tase me!" Drew said, backing away from the cops.
"…"
"DON'T TASE ME, BRO! DON'T TASE ME!"
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Ash, who thought the camera was off, took a golf club and started swinging it around like a light saber.
He thought it was cool.
Unfourtunatley, his mother, who had come across the video, posted it on the internet.
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"And now it's back to-Ask a Ninja!"
Brock popped out of nowhere in a ninja outfit.
"Remember kids, stay away from Ninjaphants!"
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Harley was bored.
Really, really bored.
What better to cure boredom than dancing to his favorite Slavic folk song!
"Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
"Mi-amintesc de ochii tai."
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"Why are we dancing to 'Thriller' again?" Gary folded his arms, along with the other twenty people Ash had invited.
"'Cause we're gonna be an internet phenomenon!"
"…fail."
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"Alright, I've got the Flesh-Eaters over here. Okay, they're going to kill us if we say anything, so be really quiet, alright?" Gary said into the headphone, playing WoW.
"Got it." Paul confirmed.
"God, I hope we get this!" Drew hoped.
"Mmh…" Ash was…quiet.
"Alright guys, be real quiet."
"Leeeeeeeerooooy Jeeenkins!!" Ash shouted into his mic, making everyone's face pale in horror.
"Ash, you frickin' moron!"
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"You absolutely positive that this won't work?" Misty and May stood in a kitchen, holding coke and a pack of Mentos.
"Yes, there's no way that it'll make it fizz up. Alright…stick 'em in there." May gingerly put the mentos in the liter of caffinated soda.
And…
ABSOLUTE DESTRUCTION'D.
"Misty, you idiot! You said it wouldn't work!" May tried to wipe the coke off of her face.
"…Totally worth it."
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"Oh, what's this?" Dawn looked at an e-mail Paul sent her.
Many questions arose, but she decided not to answer them.
"Being Less annoying…argh! He's impossible!" Nevertheless, she clicked on it.
"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around
Or Desert you."
"ERFGHDFFGHFD!"
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May and Dawn stared at the fecal matter in the cup.
"Honestly, you really think that we're going to do the '2girls1cup' thing?" Dawn said, folding her arms.
"Perverts. Sick, sick perverts." May disgustedly threw the cup away.
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"Okay, I've got this super awesome idea." Ash said, to Gary, who was sitting in a computer room.
"Shoot."
"We make a website where people can upload any video as long as it isn't porn…okay, it can be porn."
"That's not a bad idea!"
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Much coding later…
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"We made a website where people can upload any video they want, and we've only done it to have people e-mail each other a video of a prarie dog looking back dramtically?!"
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Drew smirked at Ash.
"All of your base are belong to us."
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Paul had lit dynamite in his hand.
"Dude, throw it or something!" Gary said, and Paul panicked, and threw it.
BLOOM.
"…Boom goes the dymamite!" Ash yelled, and he received looks from both.
"Dude…shut up."
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And then they all died.
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Best ending ever, right?
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.