The heavy atmosphere that came once the door clicked shut surprised neither. Words were desperately needed but could not be found, and the silence that enveloped the two men was both comforting and invasive. Syed leant back against the cold wood of the door, carefully watching the older man before him drop his keys onto the shelf. A sigh left Christian; he did not know what was going to happen next, or what to do next. One could fiddle with a set of house keys for only a certain amount of time before admitting defeat. What he was most afraid of was turning around to find a petrified Syed gazing back at him, suddenly dropping everything and making a run for it. How would he cope after that? He couldn't afford to lose him again, he just couldn't. But he had allowed his parents to see them together, he had touched his cheek in the middle of the street where anyone could see them, surely that had to mean something?
Christian's reverie was broken by a soft touch at his hand. Warm fingers were stroking shyly at his own, desperate for some form of contact. Syed needed to know if Christian was ever going to look at him again.
"Christian..."
His eyes fluttered shut. The way Syed spoke his name like that was more exquisitely beautiful than anything he had ever heard. He turned slowly, cautious that he may wake up at any second, that his beautiful Syed would be cruelly taken from him. But there he was, his unruly dark hair falling in waves around his perfectly sculpted face, deep chocolate brown eyes looking up at him from under long lashes, dark pink lips slightly parted, aching to be kissed, nipped, licked... They gazed at each other for several long seconds, neither knowing quite what to say.
"I'm so sorry." Syed whispered, eyes glazing with water. He was filled with momentary panic that maybe Christian didn't want him anymore, maybe he had hurt him too much, beyond the point of repair. How could Christian still want Syed after everything he had put him through? Christian still wore the scars on his behalf. That was one thing Syed would never forgive himself for. "Please don't ask me to leave.."
Christian shook his head, almost laughing at the stupidity of that sentence. His hands moved to Syed's waist.
"Come 'ere, you silly thing..." he pulled him close, one hand on his back, the other tangled in the depths of thick dark waves, clinging to the man that he loved more than anything. Syed let in a vast amount of air, as if he had been holding his breath. His arms wound their way around Christian's neck, pulling him impossibly closer, silently asking him to never let go.
"I'm so sorry.." Syed repeated, murmuring in the crook of his neck.
"Shh... it's okay. I'm here now." And he held him in his arms, gently swaying him as he let the hot wet tears pour free. Only days ago this beautiful man tried to harm himself, tried to end his own life; the mere thought made Christian pull him tighter. Syed needed looking after, he needed time to heal, they both did. "You're really here to stay?" Christian asked, rubbing his nose against the familiar softness of Syed's hair. He nodded.
"I promise."
Both were lost in the world of intimate touches; faces rubbing, noses brushing, breath hitching as lips slowly found one another... Syed's promise to him was sealed with that kiss, a kiss promising so much, promising forever.
...
The hot, humid air left little room for breathing. Warm bodies fit effortlessly together, laboured breaths the only sound filling the still room. Eyes connected, foreheads rested together, and on this silent night only two people in the world existed.
Christian pressed a light kiss to Syed's collar bone, lingering there to breathe in his warm scent, nipping out his tongue, filling his senses with the most exquisite of tastes. Syed moved contentedly underneath him, letting out a soft groan as Christian kissed all the way up his neck to his mouth. Gentle green eyes gazed into golden brown ones, never breaking contact as a hand moved slowly down Syed's stomach, taking in its grasp what desperately needed its touch, stroking soft, slow...
...
Hot, bubbly water surrounded them as they lay in the bath tub together; Syed lay back against Christian's chest, his head comfortably resting in the dip between his neck and shoulder. Christian scooped some water up with his hand and sloshed it over Syed's stomach, his hand resting there. The humidity in the bathroom led to the perfect temperature and both battled with the struggle not to fall asleep.
"Are you hungry?" Christian asked, picking up Syed's hand in his own and playing with his fingers.
"Mh-nmm." He murmured sleepily.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"No." He turned his head a little and pressed a delicate kiss to Christian's neck. "Why?"
"I was just thinking about dinner."
"Hmm no, you're staying right here." Syed nestled his himself further into Christian's embrace.
"Oh, am I?" he smiled, playing with the damp locks of hair covering Syed's face.
"Yep."
"Oh alright, just for you.." He tilted Syed's chin to gain easy access to his mouth, running the tip of his tongue over his lower lip. Syed's mouth curled into a smile, accompanied with a laugh as Christian's tongue stroked over his own.. "I still think I'm a better kisser than you." He teased, bringing up their banter from earlier.
"No way." Syed nipped Christian's lower lip between his teeth. "How can you even tell? You don't know what you kiss like.. you can't kiss yourself..!" he chuckled as he imagined how that would work.
"I can just tell, and I don't get any complaints from you, do I.." he teased, tapping Syed on the nose and claiming his lips once more. "Just admit it, I'm amazing." He mumbled into his mouth.
"Hmm.. you're okay I suppose. I wouldn't say 'amazing'.."
Christian mock gasped.
"You take that back!"
"Okay, okay..! You're amazing." He whispered, his happiness reaching his eyes properly for the first time in.. for the first time ever. Christian stroked back some stubborn locks from his eyes so he could see them properly; truly see into the soul of the man he loved, with all his heart.
"I love you."