I was bored, and FF9 is my fav FF game of all time, and my first. Copyright to Square Enix, and with help from my friend Vinson. He's Vinsontran23, read his stories, they're pretty funny!

Zidane: Say, what's that racket?

Cinna: Um, I'm pretty sure that's the engine.

Zidane: That's nice. (Theatre ship starts falling from sky) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Baku: Man you're battle stations people!

Blank: We don't have any posts, we just slack off.

Marcus: Dude, didn't you get the memo?

Blank: Well, I'm kind of HALF BLIND here you know!

Marcus: That's because you never take off your eye patch thing, even when you sleep!

Blank: Trust me; you don't wanna see what's behind it.

(Ship crashes into Alexandria Castle)

Baku: Well, here's our stop. Let's get out of here. (Jumps out of ship) Oh right, better park the ship. (Chirp chirp!)

Blank: When did you have THAT installed?

Cinna: We talked about it during the meeting about the memo.

Blank: Oh gee, all because I'm half blind!

Zidane: Let's just get this over wi- (falls) AAAAAAAAAAH!

Marcus: Simon says (falls too) AAAAAAAAAH!

Blank: (falls) AAAAAAAAH!

Cinna: Eh, whatever. (falls) AAAAAAAAH!

(Somewhere in the castle)

Brahne: WHERE MY FOOD?

Alexandria Soldier: I thought you already ate 10 minutes ago!

Brahne: (eats soldier) ME FULL.

Garnet: Mom, stop eating our recruits! We're already down to 5 soldiers not including the Knights of Pluto, and a ship just crashed into the castle!

Brahne: BEATRIX

Beatrix: Yes, you majesty?

Brahne: GET SOLDIERS TO ME, CHECK SHIP

Beatrix: Yes your majesty.

Brahne: TIME FOR FEAST.

(Somewhere in Alexandria town)

Vivi: (looks around) Where am I?

Little Girl: Hiya! (Looks at ticket) Oh! You have a ticket for the play?

Vivi: You mean this paper that has me convinced it's a ticket? Yeah!

LG: To get your ticket stamped, go to the ticket booth. That's below the city, into the Antiworld, then you walk until you see two pathways. Don't go left, that place has mines, go right. You'll see a mine cart, go into that, and it'll take you back to the real world, and into a dungeon. There should be a tent, and that's the ticket booth. Get all that?

Vivi: Can't I just go through main street?

LG: NO! Bye now! (Runs off)

Vivi: People these days. (Five minutes of wandering about) Ah, there's the entrance to the Antiworld. (Walks towards entrance, then hole pops up) Wow, I wasn't expecting that. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(And now back to the shipmates)

Zidane: Is everyone alright?

Marcus: I think I have a broken arm, Blank snapped his right leg and it's backwards now, and I think Cinna is dead.

Blank: I'm OK. (Stands up, then falls down) I'm not OK!

Cinna: …

Zidane: Well, he was a good friend while he lasted.

Blank: You never even talked to him once!

Zidane: Well, I thought I at least talked to him once.

Marcus: Where's Baku?

Baku: (Steps out of door of ship) Why'd you people take the long way down?

Zidane: I…don't….know.

Marcus: Oh yea, I forgot, I still have this hand grenade in my pocket. (Rummages pocket) Uh-oh.

Zidane: Don't tell me

Marcus: The pin is ou- (Explodes)

Zidane: (sigh) He was a good friend too.

Blank: Can someone help me; my leg is kind of backwards.

Zidane: Sure, lemme get my drill, and a drilling license.

Blank: Something tells me that this won't be good for me.

(Somewhere in the castle, again)

Brahne: YUM. SOLDIERS GOOD.

Beatrix: Your Majesty, we have no more soldiers to defend ourselves.

Brahne: SEND RUSTY, I MEAN STEINER.

Steiner: Yes, my Queen?

Brahne: YOU FIRED!

Steiner: WHAT?!

Brahne: YOU NO HEAR ME? YOU FIRED!

Steiner: NOOOOOOOOO!

Steiner: Knights of Pluto, assemble!

(Sorry, forgot the knight's names)

Knight 1: Yes, Captain?

Steiner: I got fired.

Knight 2: Woohoo! I mean, I am saddened to find our captain fired.

Steiner: Now, I can finally say what I've always wanted to say during my post to you.

Steiner: (Approaches Knight 2) I always hated you when you first were hired.

Knight: Gee Captain, I always thought you thought that.

(Steiner continues on, until the dude who manned the cannons)

Steiner: I always thought you were the best. May your cannons guide you to happiness.

Dojebon(sp): Thanks Captain.

Steiner: NOW YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

KoP: WHOOHOO!

Ok, now, do something.