I'm back and I ship Jane/Dave so freaking hard.
I don't feel like finishing the other fic I'm writing right now so I'll just give you this and go back to it later. Also petition for this ship to be called "apple pie." All in favor say I.
"Okay, that was literally the shittiest movie I have ever seen," Dave grumbled as he and Jane walked down a lonely street at night. They had just left their weekly movie night, and this time Rose was the hostess. Every Saturday night, everyone would gather together at someone's house and just watch movies. It was a relaxing break from the stress of a new graduate trying to keep up with or find a job.
Although Jane enjoys seeing all her friends gathered together in one place, she does agree that the selection could have been better.
"I don't think it was the worst movie, but I don't see why there was a love triangle," she shrugged.
"To make the freaky-ass fangirls fight over 'Team Edward' or 'Team Jacob,'" Dave explained zipping his jacket. It was unusually cold for a mid-April night.
Jane and Dave had decided to walk home together, on accounts that they live close to Rose and to each other. Nothing crazy like being in the same building, but Jane could see his apartment building from her window.
"Worst piece of shit I've ever had the unfortunate horror of experiencing." Dave shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Well,... I mean... Yeah, it was pretty terrible," Jane agreed.
The streets were mostly silent. Aside from a chained dog and a pack of drunk men trying to find their way home, the neighborhood looked abandoned. They were closely approaching the intersection where Dave would go right and Jane would go straight and the overall pleasant night would come to an end.
"Hey, Crocker?" Dave turned to Jane and she looked at him. "Do you want me to go to your building with you? Those hoodlums over there look like they could be up to some suspicious shenanigans." The drunk men had made it to the staircase that lead to her apartment complex.
Jane thought it was sweet that Dave cared. His offer had brought a faint blush to her cheeks. Admittedly, Jane had a school girl crush on Dave. Nothing serious, just annoying. The smallest things would make her flustered. He would say her dress was "the most majestic shit her ever saw," and she couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. Well, maybe it was something serious. But wither way she was irked.
"What a gentleman, Mr. Strider. But I'm sure I'll be fine. No point in keeping you from getting home, hm?" She gave him a reassuring smile.
After a lot of pointless arguing (because honestly, Dave would never get his way), Jane had started to walk to her building while Dave made his way to his.
Although Jane had insisted that she could make it back to her apartment without trouble, she still had an uneasy feeling in her gut as she approached the drunks. She silently cursed that she didn't have her Betty Crocker pepper spray with her that night. You know, just in case.
As Jane ascended the stairs on the opposite side of the drunk, she could feel her anxiety thicken.
And then it happened.
Jane heard a long, low whistle come from behind her. She turned and a harsh comment followed.
"Damn, bitch. Look at that ass," a tall blonde man in a leather coat slurred. Jane could clearly see now that there were at least five men. Each taller and bigger than the last. The blonde man towered over all of them, and more importantly, Jane.
"You said it, Charlie. I like my ladies on the bigger said too," stated a red-head with a cigarette. Jane had always known that she was on the heavier said and she had learned to accept and love it. But when a fact like that is shouted at you by a buzzed stranger, it can make you feel awful.
"Hey, baby," the blonde, Charlie, approached Jane. "How bout you come back to my place, and we can see if you look as good with all your clothes on my floor." He turned around to all his friends. "And all you suckers are invited to watch!" He took a swig out of his beer bottle as his friends cheered.
Jane was terrified. She has never been in this position before. She didn't know what to do and she wished more than anything that she hadn't sent Dave away.
"So, whaddaya say, babe? You wanna have the time of your life tonight?"
Jane opened her mouth to protest, but she was too scared to say anything. She shook her head frantically. Charlie looked confused. "No?" he spit.
This time, Jane's words didn't fail her. "N-no. I... I won't go with you."
Charlie looked angry, and his friends watched excitedly.
Charlie dropped his empty bottle with a SMASH as it shattered on the ground. He menacingly stalked toward Jane. "Listen, touts, no one, and I mean no one, says no to me." He raised his hand as if he were about to hit her. Jane braced herself.
"Hey, dick face!"
Everyone turned to look, including Jane.
Lo and behold, her knight in shining armor, Dave Strider stood at the bottom of the stairs with is hands in his pockets and an enraged look on his face.
"You touch her, and I'll beat your ass," Dave spat at Charlie.
Charlie looked confused for a moment, as if thinking, Who the hell does this guy think he is? When he came to his senses, his lips curled into a snarl. Jane watched hopelessly, frozen in fear.
"Oh yeah, and who the hell are you?"
"I'm her boyfriend, ass bag," he stated without hesitating. Jane had to do a double take. "And I swear, if you don't let us go, you're gonna wake up tomorrow morning wondering where your dick is."
Dave climbed the stairs until he was next to Jane. He didn't break eye contact with Charlie the entire way. He silently put his arm around Jane's shoulder and she suddenly felt safer. Charlie and Dave stared at each other, neither even blinking.
Finally, Charlie spit at Dave. "Fine, whatever." He looked straight at Jane. "But remember, bitch. We know where you live. Let's go, guys."
Charlie and his goons backed off the stairs and started to go away. Before they disappeared around the street corner, Charlie made a point to fly the bird and shout "Fuck you!" at Dave.
Jane released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. Dave looked down at her. "You okay?"
Jane's eyes met his and she whispered a yes. He smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Will you let me walk you home now?"
Jane gave a small smile before nodding.
"Uh, Dave?" Jane asked nervously as she set her keys and coat on the table by her front door. "I don't think I thanked you for what you did back there. So, um... thanks."
Dave gave her a smile. "Nah, no big deal. Just helping a friend in need is all." Jane returned the smile.
Soon enough, an awkward sense filled the air.
Dave scratched the back of his neck and said, "Well, I guess since you don't really need me anymore, I'll just be on my way..."
"Uh, Dave," Jane interrupted. "Um, since it's so late a-and it's dark and it's really cold and those guys might still be there, um, I think that maybe- I mean, i-if you want- I wouldn't mind if you, uh, just wanted to... you know, stay over?"
Dave looked at her nervous face. She was scared, he could tell. Not of him, but of those idiots outside. Who could blame her though? They verbally harassed her and they know that this is her apartment building. Hell, Dave is scared for her.
But she's too strong to admit all of that. So he goes along with it.
"Ya know what, Crocker? I think you're right. It's cold as the fricking arctic out there. Good idea, just saved me a lot of trouble."
A look of relief flooded her face. Dave almost laughed.
"I'll get the extra blankets."
After searching the house for 20 minutes, Jane and Dave finally found the blankets. Then they pulled the bed out from the couch, Jane explained to Dave that he should watch out for the table next to the bathroom door, and Dave explained how he'll wake her up at four just to bug her.
Finally Dave was in bed, or couch he supposed. Yessir, he was moments away from a peaceful night full of snores and dreams.
But then he had to pee.
Dave groaned, perhaps a little too loudly. "This is so typical" he thought. "The second you get all comfy and snuggled and shit, ya gotta take a piss."
After a few steady minutes of debating whether or not it was worth it, Dave's bladder finally got the best of him and he rolled off the couch bed. Wearing nothing but his boxers, he made his way down the small hallway with three doors. Since Jane never actually explained which was the bathroom, Dave decided he had to open them all.
He tried the first door. A closet filled with cleaning supplies and Betty Crocker cook books.
He tried the second door. Jane was lying in her bed softly. He decided he better not disturb her.
Avoiding the small table by the entrance, he tried the third door. Lo and behold, the porcelain throne sat before him.
After a successful mission, he had flushed and started to wash his hands. While the suds were being sent down the drain he looked at his reflection. Nothing had changed since this morning. Still white as a sheet, still freckled, still hot as fuck. He gave his red eyes a wink and shut off the bathroom light.
Dave was going to finish his night undisturbed. But then it happened.
"Dave..."
Someone was whispering his name. Of course the only logical explanation was Jane. At first he thought, "Hey, maybe she wants to have a rad as hell pillow fight..."
"...Dave..."
"Or maybe she wants to know what hes doing up so late... Or maybe she's still scared...?"
He went over to her room, put his hand on the knob and opened it.
"Yeah, Crocker, what's up?" he asked, standing at the entrance to her room. Oddly enough, she was still sleeping. Dave shrugged his shoulders. "Probably just imagined it..."
But then it happened again.
"Dave..."
He looked over at her. A small smile had formed on her face as she laid on her back. She was most likely pulling a prank on him. The family of John Egbert was known for pranks. And with Jane being his cousin, she was no exception.
He leaned against the door and decided to call her bluff. "Okay, Crocker. You can I both know it's too late for your shenanigans. Just put some oregano in my pancakes tomorrow, okay?"
Her unconscious body squirmed. A strange look came across her face as she bit her lip. She said the words that would change their friendship, "Dave... Oh god!"
He froze.
Did she just...?
"God, Dave, yes..."
He was sure that his jaw had hit the floor. Was Jane Crocker, his good friend of four years, having a sexy dream about... him?
His theory was confirmed seconds later.
"Ah, Dave... Faster, please..."
He felt like a deer in headlights. What should he do? On one hand, this incredibly attractive lady was having a dream about his dick. On the other hand, she's freaking Jane Crocker!
He has to tell her that he knows. But that would ruin their friendship. But if she found out that he knew she would be mortified. But if he told her then things would never be the same between them...
"Oh God, Dave! Ah, more, Dave..."
Jesus Christ, this was hot. He couldn't help but looking at her. He was probably a major dick for doing this, but he just couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Every time she would squirm or gasp or make a face, he would want to come into her bed and make her fantasies real.
As if it weren't apparent by now, Dave has major feeling for Jane. He has since they met back in his sophomore year of college. Even though he has considered asking her out, he had never gone through with it. Maybe if he had, he would be in bed with her and not in this horribly awkward position.
"Faster, Dave, ugh..."
She licked her lips slowly. That drove him over the edge. He bit his lip and looked at her longingly. Then suddenly, something didn't feel right.
He looked down and he was hard as a rock.
"Yes, Dave... Oh God yes..."
A wave of panic washed over him. He had to get out. Now.
He tried to quickly, but quietly, leave Jane's room and head to the bathroom to "take care of it." But unfortunately, he had forgotten about something important.
With loud THUMP, Dave, the little brown table, and all atop it came crashing down to the ground. He barely had time to compose himself before Jane had come running out of her room, wielding a Betty Crocker brand pepper spray.
"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" Dave begged as he covered his face. At first Jane looked confused, as if forgetting why Dave was here. Then a look of remembrance crossed her face.
"Dave, why are you sitting on my floor surrounded by Betty Crocker magazines?" She asked, lowering her weapon.
Lucky for Dave, a few of the magazines had fallen right over his boxers so Jane couldn't see his friend trying to say hello.
Unlucky for Dave, his problem was only getting worse when he saw that the only thing that Jane wore to bed was an over sized t-shirt.
He tried not to stare. "I, uh, had to use to bathroom and I forgot about the table," he said, halfheartedly gesturing to the magazines that laid askew. Even though he was trying not to stare, Dave noticed that Jane wasn't. She was clearly taking in all of the sites that his practically naked body had to offer. He couldn't help but feel a surge of pride.
Jane sounded a bit flustered. "Um, well, I'll clean it up tomorrow. I'm too tired to do it now. The bathroom is behind you. I'm going back to bed."
And with that she disappeared back into her bedroom. Dave let out a sigh of relief. Thank God she hadn't noticed. But he still had to deal with this.
He went silently into the bathroom and locked the door. If Jane had clearly had a scenario about him, it wouldn't be wrong if he had one about here, right? Besides, there was no other way that he would be able to get rid of his hard on.
Trying to be quiet so Jane wouldn't hear him, Dave imagined the sexiest scenario he could think of.
Jane Crocker, standing over him, wearing skimpy red lingerie, while he was naked, chained to a bed, and covered in whipped cream.
Jane had gotten up a bit early for a Sunday for the sole purpose of making her guest feel welcome. And to also thank him for saving her the night before. And staying with her to make sure she felt safe. Shucksbsuters, she owed Dave more that just breakfast.
After having showered and dressed, Jane had taken the time to make Dave some pancakes to enjoy. She knew that his Bro had always gotten up early to make plenty.
Once the final cake had been cooked to perfection, she had decided to wake Dave up. She had set both plates on her kitchen counter and went over to Sleeping Beauty. She got on her knees next to the couch bed and started to shake him.
"Dave..." she sing-sang. "I made breakfast..."
Dave reluctantly opened his eyes and saw Jane looking back at him with a smile. Jane had always loved the color of Dave's eyes. Red was one of her favorite colors. She had most certainly loved the color more now because of the dream she had last night.
Dave had smiled back at her. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Jane headed back to the counter. "When you're done waking up, I made pancakes for us."
Jane sat down on the stool next to the counter as Dave followed her. To her dismay, he was putting on a shirt.
"What's all this for?" Dave asked with a yawn as he sat down. A platter full of pancakes sat before him.
"Well, you know, I didn't really thank you properly for last night. So accept this as a token of my gratitude, Mr. Strider," Jane said before putting a piece of pancake in her mouth.
Dave picked up a fork. "Why, thank you, Miss Crocker. But no thanks is necessary." He gave her a smile before eating a huge piece of his pancake.
Moments later, he spat it all over the counter. "What the hell is in that pancake?" he asked, trying to wash away the fowl taste with apple juice.
Jane took another piece of pancake. "Well, for your pancakes I used a special recipe."
Dave looked at her. He knew that face. It was the face that John made when his prank succeeded. "And what kind of recipe is that?"
Jane shrugged with a smirk. "Oh, you know... Eggs, butter, milk, flour..." she looked him straight in the eye. "Oregano."
And that's the end.
Let me know if you liked it. I am planning on adding a chapter about Jane's dream if people want it.
Goodbye.