Of Past Regrets and Future Fears
The past 10 years of her life had rolled along fairly uneventfully. Sure there were bumps in the road, an occasional detour or two, but for the most part, life went along smoothly. She loved her husband of 10 years as much as ever. She was thankful for his continued good health, occasionally feeling the need to remind him that if he goes, he'll have to take her with him.
Her daughters had blossomed into beautiful young women. She and John believed very strongly that the girls be allowed and encouraged to find and go after their own dreams. The girls thrived with the positive support, finding their individual paths and pursued them with great spirit.
Mei Li was 15 and learning to drive. She grew up fluent in not only Chinese and English, but Sign Language as well. During school breaks, she volunteered at the Audiology Center, signing books for deaf children.
Gracie was now officially a teen. She often got teased by her peers as the ultimate geek. Generally strong in all her academics, she has a special giftedness in math. At 13 she's also quite an accomplished pianist and cellist and has a natural knack for picking up other instruments as well.
Today started out like any other typical day you care to pick. Everyone got up, had breakfast. Since John had the day off, he had the dubious pleasure of observing Mei Li's skill behind the wheel as she drove to school. Jing Mei went to work, held office hours for students and residents with questions and then it was time for rounds. Her life had become that routine. She knew, sooner or later, something was going to happen that would stand her world on its end. She just prayed that something would not be her husband's health.
Now on rounds, she and her students walked up to curtain 3. Jing Mei asked "okay, what do we know here?"
"University student, fell from second floor window during hazing incident. Suffered shattered right tibia, compound on the left, dislocated right shoulder, numerous lacs to head, hands and legs. No LOC. BP 160 over 110, no known drug allergies, A pos. Awaiting ortho surgery."
She acknowledged the med student's concise bullet and stepped closer to the bed, staring into the face of the patient. Something about him seemed so familiar, yet she couldn't quite identify what. Focus, she told herself and snapped back into quizzing the interns on his course of treatment before moving on to the next patient.
After rounds, she assigned each med student a number of patients giving each some things to consider in their course of treatment. Haleh came up to her. "Dr. Chen, the patient in curtain 3 is asking for you."
"I assigned that one to Meadows."
"He asked for Dr. Jing Mei Chen" Haleh said with an insinuating tone.
She supposed the patient read her name. After all, it was embroidered on her coat. Her first name though, was denoted with an initial only. How the hell did he know what her first name was? It isn't like every Asian woman you see is named Jing Mei. Warily, she told Haleh, "I'll be right there."
She took a deep breath and walked over to curtain 3. She was about to find out why this patient was so unsettling. Stepping up beside the bed, she looked the patient in the eye and said "Hello, I'm Dr. Chen, you have a concern about your treatment?"
"Not really" the patient replied.
"Then, what can I do for you today?"
"How long have you worked here Dr. Chen" the patient asked.
Well now that was sort of a tricky question to answer. She decided on vague. "I've been here quite a while now."
"Were you here 20 years ago?" he asked rather curtly.
She nodded, nose scrunched and biting her lip. This kid looked about 20.
"I was born in this hospital, to an unwed mother 19 years ago".
Lots of kids were born in this hospital to unwed mothers every year. She let him continue.
"My mother was…Asian."
She felt her heart drop in her chest. He's the right age to be the baby I gave up, she thought. "What's your name?" she asked timidly.
"My name's Michael. I was adopted by James and Linda King. I grew up in Portland."
She let out a brief pop of air. "Michael?" She raised her hand to her mouth as her jaw dropped. She tried to speak, but thoughts were not coming at a rate she could process them through. What came out, were more or less some disconnected breathy grunts.
Before she could get a coherent thought together, the orderly came. "Alright Mr. King, we're taking you up to surgery now." They wheeled him away. Jing Mei stood motionless watching him disappear down the hall.
Dazed, she made her way to the admit desk. "Jerry, they just took Michael King up to surgery. Let me know when he's out?"
Something in the tone of Jing Mei's voice said this was a patient she was very concerned about and it was important enough that he should comply with her request. "Sure".
"Thanks" Jing Mei said, obviously deep in thought.
Several hours later, Jing Mei was at the board with her students. They were running through their updates. Jerry waited patiently for them to finish. "Dr. Chen, Michael King's out of surgery. They're taking him to recovery now."
She quietly thanked Jerry and headed up to surgical recovery.
Still sedated, she sat at his bedside, trying to figure out what to say.
He awoke, obviously in pain. "Sh sh sh, it's going to be sore. You've got a rod and several pins in your leg. I'm calling the nurse. We'll get you some pain meds." She pushed the nurse call button. "We need some Vicodin in here."
"So, you're my birth mother?" Michael asked weakly, but with a hint of anger.
Biting her lip and looking in a generally downward direction, she nodded.
"You don't have any right to be here" Michael was definitely annoyed.
"Except that I'm a doctor involved in your care" she replied.
"I don't want you here. Go away." He was so emphatic, she thought it wise not to agitate him.
"Okay. I'm going. Can I call your parents for you?" She truly wanted to be helpful.
"There already on their way" was the curt retort before turning his face in the opposite direction. He was obviously done talking.
Unwelcome, she left.