DISCLAIMER:

Me: C'mon. You can do it!

Stephenie Meyer: I-I can't…

Me: DO IT!

Stephenie Meyer: Fine… *signs contract that gives me the Twilight Saga*

Me: !

*wakes up screaming ""*

Me: Awwwww, man!

Prologue:

I have read Twilight.

Not unusual, in most cases.

But my name is Edward Willis; I am a guy with the same name as the protagonist. Does that not sound weird?

But even worse: I loved it. And I read the whole way through the series. And scarier yet: I LOVED IT. I adored all of the characters and hung on Bella's every word. I reread and reread it over and over. I was first in line to buy Breaking Dawn, and Twilight Lexicon is my best friend. All over my room are large posters with quotes of interest from the Twilight Saga. I am the biggest fan girl in this history of history. Not fan boy; that is just some acronym created for 4th graders to remember conjunctions. I'm not worthy of it; I am a screaming fan-girl.

I learned piano, and take is twice a week to be like Edward Cullen. I read Wuthering Heights once a week to be like Alice. I accompany my sister on shopping trips and carry the bags to be not only like Jasper, but to see what Alice sees. I completely rule academics like my vampire pals. I go hiking and I've found a meadow of my own.

My parents worried at first; they actually took me to a therapist. The therapist stated that although my need for Twilight was unhealthy, it was actually having a good impact on my life; I was gaining musical talent, I was going outside more, I was into classics, and there was even some family time. So my parents relented and let me be.

And there is not a fact in the Twilight Saga that I do not know. I was in love; and unfortunately, was solely in-love with the Twilight Saga because girls thought I was gay.

And no, I'm not hung on Bella; I don't fantasize of riding her in the shower or her whipping me; I love the story, the words, every strange exchange between Bella and Edward, and how the other characters interact. I have gone so far as to writing from their point of view in a form of an autobiography…for ALL of the characters. Stephenie Meyer is a GENIUS!

And every June 8th, my birthday, I blow out the candles with one wish on my mind: I want to be a part of Twilight.

Life sucks when you get what you want.