Shizuo's ears are deceiving him tonight. The first very obvious deception is Izaya calling him at three minutes to midnight claiming he's lonely and wants to see Shizu-chan. The real Izaya Orihara would never utter such an easy sentence for misinterpretation; it almost convinces Shizuo that the flea likes him. He's shamelessly drinking milk from the carton when he hears a knock. It's Izaya's knock and he fleetingly wonders when he began paying attention to how he knocks. Why does he even bother knocking anyway?
"It's not locked." Shizuo calls, settling down on the couch and wishing the flea would just hurry up so he could sleep.
"Shizu-chan," He says, taking off his jacket to reveal a shirt that seemingly hangs off his slender frame. Shizuo guesses it's one he wears for bed. "You waited up for me."
"You asked me to when you called." He says slowly, as if Izaya is misunderstanding something very straightforward.
"Ah, but I didn't think you would." He smiles and leans forward, his lips meeting Shizuo's which move almost instinctively. They pull apart and Izaya sighs softly against the older man's mouth. The two remain like that for a while; foreheads resting against each other and eyes closed, not needing to say anything to know they both enjoy each other's company. Izaya eventually moves to tuck himself into a ball on the couch next to Shizuo's legs, somewhat like a cat.
"If you're tired then sleep, stupid." The older of the two mumbles, pressing his fingers to soft charcoal colored strands and raking through them slowly, attempting to lull Izaya to silence.
"I also said I wanted to see you when we spoke on the phone." He murmurs, voice low and uncharacteristically dull. Maybe he said that to clarify he missed Shizuo. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter anyway; he already remembered just what Izaya had said. The two just stay like that for a while; Izaya with his eyes closed and Shizuo stroking his hair, listening to his breathing slow.
"Izaya," A voice calls out after a few minutes of silence and feeling the intimacy between them swell about as far as it dared.
"Mm?" He hums, opening one eye.
"I love you." Shizuo breathes, not expecting Izaya to say it back or anything but just feeling as if maybe he might need to be reminded. Izaya not saying he loves him isn't as big of a problem as he makes out. Of course it bothers him but not to an extreme. The flea isn't really one for sweet loving words anyway.
"I know." He mumbles, leaving it at that. Usually that would be pretty insulting but really, he doesn't know what else to say and he has to say something. Shizuo probably knows that. Long fingers move to rake through dark hair and the younger man is quietened again. After more silence Izaya eventually admits defeat and lets himself sleep; his face relaxing in all the places that usually strain with stress. Shizuo likes watching him sleep and maybe that's something straight out of a romance movie and also quite creepy but even when there's a trail of drool on his chin and he has hair that sticks up on the left side he never fails to fall in love a little more. Of course, he'd never admit that.
Careful control of limbs means that Shizuo escapes Izaya's grasp without waking him, lighting a cigarette and wondering how in the name of holy God is he going to move the sleeping flea to his bed. More to the point, is a few hours of cuddling worth getting woken up to another string of complaints about how his mattress has no spinal support and it's giving Izaya an ache in his shoulders. With a deep inhale he takes a final drag from the cigarette and crushes it, at least half left unsmoked. He's never even finished a whole one, whether that's Izaya's or his own fault, he doesn't know. With a sigh he treks back over to the couch. Two arms wrap around a skinny body and Shizuo lifts him up, feeling a head bump against his shoulder. In truth,he's worried he might break Izaya, considering he weighs next to nothing and his limbs are like twig. It's kind of ridiculous that he'd feel concerned now, after years of ripping up government property to hurl at the flea, but maybe it's because he feels guilty that he wants to be more careful. He can't help but stop himself wondering how many times he's hurt Izaya seriously, other than the times he already knows about.
Those times are heavy enough on his conscience.
He gives up on sinking into a state of self-loathing and hoists the younger man up further. His head lolls a little helplessly on Shizuo's broad shoulder so he pulls him a little closer, feeling a nose bump against his neck. Warm steady breath hits his skin and he thanks no one in particular that Izaya isn't a mouth breather or this would be a lot less romantic and a lot more gross. Once he finally reaches his bedroom door Shizuo is met with the seemingly impossible task of opening it. The brass handle gleams at him threateningly and he makes a mental note to call the landlord and get him to fix how the bedroom and bathroom doors take an innumerable amount of attempts to open. It takes what seems like a solid ten minutes of rattling the handle uselessly and the door swings open. Shizuo growls. If he wasn't holding Izaya he would have tore it off its hinges by now. With a deep breath, he lets the flea drop onto the mattress and maybe that was a mistake because then there's two carmine eyes staring at him.
"Shizu-chan?" Izaya croaks, clearing his throat when he hears his own voice.
"You fell asleep. I brought you to bed. Shut up and go back to sleep."
"Ah, thank you,"
"It's alright. Just shush so I can sleep." Shizuo grumbles. He doesn't want to have a conversation long enough for Izaya to work out that he's irritated. Then he'd have to explain that he's pissed because the door handle is broken.
"Alright. Goodnight, love you." He mutters, and tucks himself into the bed. Shizuo just stares at him, shocked.
"Oi, Izaya, what did you just say?" He asks. Maybe he heard it wrong. Maybe he's having auditory hallucinations from lack of doesn't matter now anyway. The flea is already asleep, so any questions will have to wait until morning. He's stunned, but no so much that if affects how tired he is so he removes his shirt and climbs into the bed, one arm snaking its way over the cold body next to him and pulling it closer. Goddamn Izaya and his unnatural body temperature. It felt like cuddling a block of ice.
For a while he just lays there and thinks. It's ironic that he's felt exhausted all day but when he actually gets into bed suddenly his mind is working overtime. He wonders if Izaya meant to say I love you. It's unlikely; he isn't really one for affectionate remarks, plus he was half asleep. Shizuo turns and looks at the sleeping Izaya, silently thankful he can get this close without any protests from the other. His lips are parted slightly but not enough for it to be unattractive and his face relaxes in all the places it usually doesn't, making him seem younger than he actually is. His eyelashes aren't very long but still very pretty, curving upward onto his eyelid and looking slightly feminine, along with his slim face and sharp cheekbones. He almost looks delicate, like a piece of artwork. He wonders how this almost vulnerable-looking thing has survived for so many years living a life as dangerous as he does. Too many enemies and not enough people that care for him. It must get lonely.
Sighing, Shizuo attempts to get comfortable, turning to lie on his stomach. His knee knocks something soft and he recognizes it as Izaya's thigh, deciding to wrap his leg over aforementioned limb. It's a little too intrusive and he knows there'll undoubtedly be complaints from the other participating cuddler if he wakes up first but he's too tired to care. He moves his head closer and captures two warm lips in a soft kiss, pulling back and shutting his eyes. His breath is slowing and after a moment of listening to nothing but Izaya's steady rhythmic inhales and exhales he begins to match the pattern, breathing in time with the flea as he drifts into unconsciousness.
Shizuo is uncomfortable; feeling a bony elbow digging into his side and there's a button from Izaya's shirt pressing painfully into his arm, but he figures that this proximity means intimacy so he remains still. He really needs to pee and lying on his front means pressure on his bladder but the flea is temperamental in the mornings and an unbelievably light sleeper. If he moves there's no way he's getting away without a string of insults and something from the nightstand being hurled at him so he waits. It might be hard to believe, but lying awake after almost a whole night's sleep is a pretty difficult task. He's moving around a bit too much trying to relieve some of the tension on his abdomen (because God, he really needs to piss) when Izaya grabs onto his wrist.
"You're awake?" Shizuo asks almost irritably. He had been trying not to wake him.
"Hmm, well I didn't really have much choice in the matter. You were moving about too much." He hisses, sitting up and rubbing the back of his wrist against one eye. His cheeks are red and it sort of looks like he's blushing, except for the pattern of the sheets pressed into his skin. If it weren't for the fact he looked like a demon with his frown, it would have been cute.
"Sorry. I need to pee but I didn't want to wake you up."
"I appreciate the sentiment but you should have just gone." He glances around, before looking back to Shizuo and it seems like there's something he wants to say. This is a prime example of one of the times when Shizuo believes that Izaya has been replaced with a lookalike or something of the sort. The Izaya Orihara he knows wouldn't hold back from saying anything unless it guarantees him a personal gain, and he's a better liar than this. Maybe not working so often has changed him for the better. At any rate, he's just glad that he's allowed to kiss the flea without him complaining. He dismisses his strange behavior as tiredness and goes to the bathroom, running the faucet over his hands for a few seconds before returning to the bedroom. Izaya is sat upright in the bed, eying Shizuo carefully.
"Shizu-chan." He says, his gaze stoic.
"Flea."
"Did I tell you I loved you last night?" Ah, so that's what this is about.
"Yeah. It's okay if it was just a slip of the tongue. That's what I thought anyway." Shizuo says, but maybe there'd been some slightly wishful thinking on his behalf.
"It's really okay?"
"Sure. Just fall in love with me soon." He says and Izaya shifts.
"Well, maybe the point when I start to unconsciously tell you I love you means I really do. If I can say it without thinking then that surely amounts to something at least."
"So you're saying..." Shizuo drawls, not caring if he seems stupid. Is Izaya serious? What the hell is he saying?
"I'm saying I love you." He confirms, before hastily adding "Probably."
Shizuo just looks at him and beams. Izaya. Who loves him. Probably.