Mori was done with being told he has a pencil penis. He wanted life to be easier for him and his lover, Mitskuni haninozuka.

"I want to be a woman, Mitskuni", he said quietly.

"Why Takashi? Don't you like buttsex?" hani cried, tears pricking his eyes.

"Yes, Mitskuni", Mori looked up, "but I need to do this"

When Takashi arrived home he stripped naked and said goodbye to his manhood, or lack of.

He grabbed a butcher knife and without thinking twice: sliced off his penis.

"I have a vagina now", Takashi said.

Many carefree weeks went by with Takashi being a woman: he began wearing the girl's school uniform which made him look surprisingly kawaii. One day Kyoya entered music room #3 out of breath looking rather distressed.

"What's wrong mommy?" Tamaki cried, rushing over to Kyoya

"The club is in debt"

"What, how?" Hikaru and Karaou exclaimed at once

"Someone spent the clubs budget on fluorescent butt plugs"

Hikaru looked and Karou sassily, Karou blushed furiously.

"How will we gain our money back though?" Honey asked

"I don't know, we can't afford to run the club right now we'll have to *shiver* fundraise"

"FUNDRAISE?!" Tamaki gasped, falling to the floor dramatically.

"Oh come on you guys, it isn't that hard", Haruhi said, "we can set up a lemonade stand or a cake stall. It'll be easy"

"Lemonade stand?" Hikaru inquired

"Cake stall?" Karou asked

'These darn rich people' Haruhi muttered to herself.

"Even if we did use these commoner ways of making money we'd never have enough to get out of debt", Kyoya sighed

"So what so you suggest?" Haruhi asked

"Mori-sempai..."

Mori looked up from his chair, "it's Morein now"

"Morein?"

"Alright, Morein, do you have any suggestions?"

Mori had an idea from the start. But he couldn't tell the others... Could he?

"No"

"Then I'm afraid the club shall be closed for a while", Kyoya said solemnly

"No", Mori stood up, "I know what to do just keep the club open"

And with that- Takashi left.

(3 weeks later)

Music room #3 was thriving once again, the hosts were mingling with guests, serving tea and enjoying club life once more.

"Wow Morei, how did you get all this cash so fast?" Hikaru asked, inspecting the club's new tea cups.

"It doesn't matter", by now, Morei was an accepted host- a girl the guests would confide with.

"Oh, Morei, where do you buy your hair products? Your hair always looks so silky"

"Morei, will you come dress shopping with me after class?"

"Morei, your so funny!"

The guests fascination with the new Mori senpai caused a certain blonde host to have less and less clients.

"We've got to do something, mommy", Tamaki cried, "he's stealing my princesses away"

"Yeah, kyoya-senpai, he's totally cock blocking", Karou complained "Well, not cock"

"Clitoris prohibitus?"

"That works, anyway, we need him out of the club"

"He's our only source of income"

"Yes but now 30% of our hosts are ladies!"

"I'm going to find where he's getting his money from", interrupted Haruhi. "I'll follow him home tonight and see where he goes"

"Daddy will come with you", Tamaki put his hand on Haruhi's shoulder

"No way in hell senpai"

Tamaki gasped and retreated to his emo corner.

Haruhi was outside the Morinozuka mansion. She couldn't see into Mori's bedroom as it was various stories up so she watched the front door waiting for him to come out. The door opened and Haruhi watched excitedly.

'Oh, it's just a woman', the girl coming out of the mansion looked around nervously then proceeded to walk briskly towards the car. She was wearing a large overcoat bad nothing could be seen underneath. Her hair was tightly curled and she was wearing a lot of makeup.

'Wait a minute', Haruhi looked closely

"Mori-senapi", she whispered, "why is he acting all suspicious?"

Haruhi followed the car closely and it ended up at a club- a strip club.

"Mori-senpai is... A stripper?"

She needed to take a look for herself so she opened the front door but was immediately stopped.

"Hey! No kids in here", he shouted, pushing Haruhi back outside

"But..."

"No buts, get outta here boy"

The man slammed the door in Haruhi's face and she started to walk away when she noticed the backdoor was open and a man was pushing in suitcases of props- perfect!

As the man went inside, Haruhi rushed in, quickly turning a corner once inside so he wouldn't spot her.

She could hear what was happening on stage from back there and followed the noise til she found the wings.

"Hello boys, my name is Morein but you can call me... tonight", Mori-senpai was on stage, wearing a glistening bra, tiny miniskirt and barely anthing else. Haruhi watched in shock as Mori teased the crowd, twerked and stripped. A few minutes later Mori walked off the stage to find Haruhi, bright red looking up at him.

Mori looked down at her in shock. His cover was blown.

"Morein... that was..."

"Just say it"

"FUCKING HOT!"

Then Mori and Haruhi frickle frackled and lived happily ever after.

The end.