Title: The Brains and the Brawn

Fandom: Veronica Mars/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover

Rating: T

Word count: 4,131

Summary: Veronica Mars and Buffy Summers are both working at the FBI, and are placed together as partners for a difficult and dangerous case that sends them to LA after a master criminal. Naturally, their pasts will come back to haunt them and these two strong-minded heroines may or may not be able to keep it together.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, though I wish I did.

Background: This is set after the finales of both shows, in the present day. I have taken the final season of Angel into account, but none of the comic continuations of Buffy. I have also shortened the age gap between Buffy and Veronica to about 4 years instead of 6/7, making Veronica about 24 and Buffy about 28.

Chapter 1: Partners

To anyone in the lobby of the J. Edgar Hoover building, it would be obvious that Veronica was late. She knew it as she hurriedly swiped herself in to FBI headquarters, as she pressed the elevator button repeatedly and when she gulped down her extra-hot latte, burning her throat as it went down. The scowl on her face when she entered the elevator had not abated by her arrival at the 18th floor for her meeting. She hated being late to meetings; she had a hard enough time being taken seriously as it was and tripping in 10 minutes after the hour made her look and feel unprofessional. They couldn't know her coffee machine had broken this morning, spurting boiling coffee all over her clothes and forcing her to change her outfit to another practically identical navy blue suit and necessitating a trip to Starbucks to lend her brain some semblance of functionality. Which seemed to be all for naught based on the pathetic day she was already having by 9 AM. She couldn't even remember what her meeting was about or whom with—at least she knew where it was. She paused for a moment before the door to room 1811 to compose herself, which allowed her to push open the door and enter wearing a generally pleasant expression.

Upon entering she saw only her Supervisor, Hendricks. His name was Marshall Hendricks and he had indicated that she was free to call him Marshall, but following the custom of the Bureau, she called him "Agent Hendricks" to his face and "Hendricks" behind his back. A small, graying man of about 55 who rarely smiled, laughed or gave any signs of being other than a cyborg, Hendricks was not Veronica's closest ally, but he would never consider her the source of amusement her peers and some of her superiors considered her. Veronica never forgot to thank God for small mercies.

"Good morning, Veronica." He indicated the seat across from him.

"And a good morning to you, Agent Hendricks." The routine nature of these greetings helped Veronica get over her previous feeling of unsteadiness. This was an unusual meeting, sure, but she could handle it. "I'm sorry that I kept you waiting. What is it you wanted to see me about?"

Agent Hendricks coughed and shuffled his papers. Veronica almost rolled her eyes—she really didn't need the obligatory building of suspense. Hendricks looked up to meet her eyes. "We have an assignment for you, Veronica. It is unusual for us to send out such a rookie agent into the field, but we have determined from your experience and performance that you may be ready for the responsibility."

Veronica sat up straighter in her chair. Did she really just hear what she thought she did? From the general level of chastisement thrown her way since her arrival, being turfed out had appeared a much more likely occurrence. It seemed like someone had actually been paying attention to the work she had been doing instead of the silly "protocol" that she had a tendency to ignore. Veronica couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice as she asked, "So what is the assignment, sir?"

Hendricks sighed and shuffled again. It seemed like perhaps he was not the one making the orders, given his apparent reluctance to pass on any information. Veronica would keep that in mind; it seemed like a higher up might have an interest in her after all. If it was the professional interest she was hoping for, this day was turning out even better than she could have ever expected. "I do not have the authority to give you your assignment. You will be meeting your partner for this project in the 7th floor conference room, where Agent Schenkel will be presenting you with your necessary materials. I will take you there."

Veronica got up from the conference table, taking her briefcase and her finally decently cooled latte with her. This whole meeting before the real meeting deal seemed ridiculous to her. At least she would have time to adjust herself to her next, actually important meeting. Her heart had sunk with the word "partner." She knew that they were a given in her job, but she had a hard time getting into the whole teamwork frame of mind. Maybe that was why she wasn't instant pals with the other rookies. Or maybe they were just the immature jerks she thought they were. The group in DC from her year at Quantico seemed the worst of the bunch. There were a few nice guys, sure, but they weren't really close friend material. There was only one other girl of her year and she seemed to only find herself at home in a group composed only of men. Veronica had heard her complain about "bitches" and "girl drama" a little more than she thought she could properly stomach. And these were her esteemed colleagues, the peers with whom she would be expected to work closely. Compared to those Neanderthals, it was no wonder she was getting an assignment, new as she was. She tried not to speculate on who her partner could possibly be. She just hoped it would be a stranger, so she could start disliking them from scratch. It was a much better position if she was going to have to spend a lot of time with them.

The 7th floor conference room had the disadvantage of being almost completely surrounded with glass. Veronica hated being so exposed in a meeting. Besides, she was sure it was a security risk. In this case, however, Veronica had the advantage of being able to view her partner before their official meet and greet, even for only a few seconds. Those few moments of reconnaissance were essential to her ability to face the situation with composure. Veronica looked into the conference room as she approached it. She saw Agent Schenkel in there, his characteristic smirk on his face. He was only 35 or so, some sort of Bureau wunderkind and he never passed up an occasion to crack a joke, no matter how inappropriate the circumstances. Veronica often wondered how he'd managed to become so senior when he appeared to offend everyone; she'd heard, however, that he was incredible in the field and could even interrogate a suspect so that he was practically begging to tell everything he knew. Veronica couldn't wait to someday see him in action, as she found the reports of his abilities hard to believe from her few interactions with him. Perhaps that was part of his secret.

To his right was her new partner. At first obscured by a large ficus plant, her partner continued to be a mystery to Veronica. And then she saw a woman, blonde, slightly older than herself and seemingly no taller, slim and with the same California prettiness that Veronica knew others saw in her. The sight made Veronica's heart sink. She didn't know this girl yet, but she didn't need to. She had thought that they had seen her work, seen her skill and were rewarding her with a suitably difficult and important mission with a partner of equal or simply comparable proficiency and experience. Instead, it looked like it was a casting call. She doubted they were going to be focusing on some sort of important RICO bust. The Bureau had ordered two cute, California valley girls and here she was, skills or professionalism be damned. It seemed like all that hard work to be taken seriously had led to two blonde girls being sent out in the field together. Seeing her partner's comparable size and weight to her own, she knew they couldn't possibly be employed anywhere dangerous; Veronica could take care of herself in a general way, but she wasn't really ready to take on someone twice her size. She guessed that maybe if you added the two of them together you'd get a normal sized FBI agent who would be an asset in a dangerous situation. With the two of them together, Veronica just knew they were going to be sequestered in the safe assignment, full of flirting and report writing. Hopefully there will be manicures and massages included or Veronica didn't know if she could cope with the power of her future partnership.

"Welcome Agent Mars," Schenkel said, approaching with his arm out to shake her hand. Hendricks excused himself. Schenkel's smirk became a grin, widening to show some aggressively white teeth. As they shook hands, he said, "So good to see you again." He let go, turning to the other blonde. "I want to introduce you to Agent Summers."

They shook hands, eyeing each other warily. Watching the two of them together, Schenkel seemed ready to combust with amusement. He said, "I know you will be just the perfect couple for this assignment." Veronica could hear the laughter in his voice as he announced, "Brains, meet brawn."

Brains meet brawn? Buffy turned to Agent Schenkel with a glare. Even working for the Bureau for two years hadn't allowed her to reliably control her emotions. "What's that supposed to mean, Adam?"

She had known him ever since joining the FBI, but he could still throw her any minute with his love of making strange and annoying comments. He had gone from trying to get in her pants to being simply her friend, but she still didn't trust him. Most of the people she really trusted were still in England now and there were certainly none in DC. The capital might not be a hellmouth, but she didn't like to get too attached when she didn't know how long she would be staying.

Adam just chuckled at her question and motioned for her and the woman who had just come in to sit down across from him at the table. Buffy had been trying to tease information about her assignment from Adam before Agent Mars showed up and hadn't had a chance to thoroughly examine her future partner before her entrance. Now that they were sitting side by side, Buffy threw her surreptitious glances, trying to figure her out as Adam prepared his presentation. Adam had called her the brains. Buffy couldn't help but be offended. She knew she was strong, she was a slayer, this was old news. So maybe she had never been the most cerebral, but she had finally finished college when she had been in Rome, a solid B.A. after her name. This girl to her left was at least 4 years younger than she was and there was no way she had seen as much as Buffy had. She sure didn't look like your typical FBI genius. In fact, she was kinda cute. Very cute in fact. Was this just the younger, smarter version of herself? Buffy knew that at least she wasn't a slayer in any case—she would have been able to sense that when her partner came in the door. Buffy might not have loved being called the brawn (it made her think of large hairy men with bulging muscles), but at least she had the comfort of knowing she could kick human and demon ass any day of the week. Buffy couldn't even condescend to imagine fighting this little, all-human girl, but it was a poor comfort to hang her self esteem on.

Veronica thought this whole brains-brawn thing was a joke. Calling the twiglet to her right the brawn could only make a joke of her being the brains. Starting off the meeting with a "blonde" joke wasn't, to her mind, the greatest way to make her feel comfortable. She had heard that Agent Schenkel liked keeping people off-balance. Well, she would try to stop him going any further with that one. Veronica clenched her jaw and prepared to listen to her new assignment with as few distractions as possible.

Agent Adam Schenkel looked at them both, congratulating himself. At moments like these, he knew that the confidence the Bureau had in him was justified. As the two blonde women across the table shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, Adam thought that even if they couldn't get the job done, there would be plenty of entertainment from this pairing. They would either do an explosively good job, or they would just explode; it was unprofessional, but he could go with either. He grinned, passed files to the other two, and opened his folder.

First in the pile was a picture of a man, 40ish, obviously a surveillance photo. Shenkel's voice moved into presentation mode. "This is Max Curran. He is the main target of your assignment. He is of German extraction, born in Erie, Pennsylvania. He has no living family as far as we are aware and no fixed location. He's been involved in various illegal enterprises since junior high, but when he graduated high school, he started playing with the big boys. He has affiliated himself at one time or another with several organized crime groups, but he seems to have few loyalties except to himself. He's smart, maybe even exceptionally so. He has never even been charged with a crime, but he always seems around when anything particularly despicable is going on. Lasting to 40 has been quite an achievement, given his penchant for living on the edge. His risks, however, seem brilliantly calculated and he should never be underestimated.

"Most recently he seems to have become involved in a kidnapping and white slavery scheme. We say 'seems' because we have been unable to locate any buyers and yet the girls who have gone missing have also failed to turn up. The pattern of girls taken—" Schenkel paused to flip to the next set of photos. Both Veronica and Buffy examined them; they were young women, all very pretty and primarily blonde. There were over 100 photos of smiling girl after smiling girl, all missing. "The pattern and the scale of the girls taken suggest the scope of the scheme. These photos are only of the ones we have identified as likely to have been taken by Curran and his associates. There may be many more."

In his brief pause, Veronica cut in, saying, "There are hundreds of girls here. Hasn't anyone in the Bureau been on this before now?"

Schenkel's smirk was erased from his face as his mouth narrowed to a straight line. Buffy had wondered the same thing, but she knew that Adam, easygoing as he seemed, hated being interrupted in the middle of anything. He was a showman and liked others to respect that. Buffy looked at the younger woman, wondering if she realized her misstep. Buffy didn't consider herself to be a demanding partner, but she hoped Agent Mars could handle herself better in the field. She really didn't need to have to support this newbie intellectually as well as her obvious chore of having to protect her physically. Adam replied, "I will get to that later, Agent Mars. If I may go on?"

Veronica raised her eyebrows but nodded. At least this assignment did seem interesting. Schenkel continued, "As I was saying, this is a large scale endeavor. Curran's kidnappings have been traveling across the country from East to West. There is a map in your folder of all the identified snatches with dates and locations marked and color coded. Sources say that his destination, where he may already have arrived, is Los Angeles. That is where we will be sending the two of you."

"L.A?" Veronica and Buffy chorused reflexively, and then looked at each other. They had both managed to express extreme dislike of this choice of location, though Veronica voice seemed primarily angry and Buffy's horrified.

"Yes, L.A.," Schenkel said, his smirk reappearing. "It seems that you two do have something in common after all. More seriously, and to answer your previous question, there have been several other teams that have gone out to work this case, all attempting to penetrate Curran's group and give us an inside view. As far as we are aware, they are all dead." Schenkel paused and look at the women's grave faces. "This is a difficult and dangerous assignment. We chose you because of your unique skill sets and your ability to give us a different angle on the aims and capabilities of this group. All attempts to enter Curran's group as co-conspirators have ended disastrously. You, therefore, will be going in as potential targets." Schenkel paused to let the two of them absorb the information, then went on, "I have to trust that you two can handle yourselves and make it out alive. At this point you are our final option to get this guy.

"Curran's MO seems to be to pick out his targets at bars and nightclubs. He and possibly a few others are involved in convincing them to move to a second location for any pretext, after which they disappear. You are to try to identify Curran and his associates in their preferred hunting grounds. You are not, I repeat, not to move to the second location without clearing it with me first."

"I had my assistant pick out clothes and shoes for your assignment. They are packed in bags in your apartments, ready for you to add a few personal items. The flight to LA is at 20:15 hrs. Your IDs and paperwork are at the bottom of your folders. I'll leave you two to get acquainted and get your story straight. You should be in character from the moment you land in LA onwards."

Agent Schenkel stood up and left the conference room. He hoped his crazy scheme would work; it was the last thing the Bureau had to throw at the whole Curran issue, which was setting up to be a public relations disaster. He did have a betting pool going with some of his FBI buddies on which would call him to switch partners first—he'd read both their files and knew Buffy personally. Odds were on Buffy, but he liked to think it could go either way. Neither could be called easy personalities. He hoped they wouldn't crack, but he'd like to win money on it if they did. It might offer some comfort after the plain impossibility of this whole case.

Veronica looked at her new partner when were finally alone together. They'd had the case of a lifetime thrown in their laps and this felt as awkward as a blind date.A blind date strangely mixed with a lookalike contest. Veronica got out the materials from the bottom of her folder and examined them. "Looks like I'm Savannah George from Charleston, SC. You?"

Buffy affected a southern twang, "Serena George at your service, missy. Looks like I'm your hotter, awesomer older sister. You better mind me, young lady."

Veronica rolled her eyes, but grinned. A sense of humor would not be amiss on their assignment, that was fairly certain. "Honey, maybe you should skip the accent if we're supposed to be even mildly convincing as available sex slaves. That would surely scare away even the most diehard of kidnappers." Veronica looked at her watch. "We have some time until our flight, but I need to go prep some stuff before our departure. Maybe we can hash this stuff out on the plane?"

"Later, sis," Buffy said, her accent even more exaggerated. She continued sitting in the conference room thinking while Veronica left. This girl younger than Dawn was trying to boss her around, she could feel it. She hoped her temporary sister would be less of a pain in the ass than Dawn had been at first, but the bossiness was not all that endearing—Buffy guessed, however, that this was what got her so far in the FBI as it was. Buffy would have to remember that she wasn't the only bossy one around here. She liked to think that she played well with others, but since the Sunnydale Hellmouth had imploded she was afraid she had a bit of a superiority complex. It's hard to save to world so many times and not feel kind of special. That was actually what got her involved with the FBI in the first place. Life after Sunnydale had lacked any sort of real permanence. Rome had been a fun place to live for her and Dawn, and Dawn was actually working for the new Watcher's Council's satellite there. Giles was heading the main office in London; Faith and Robin ran the US operations. After Dawn moved out to go to University, there wasn't really that much of a place for her anymore. She certainly wasn't a watcher, much more of a do-er in any circumstances. She had helped out in the training of the new slayers, but they gave a little too much adulation for her to get anything out of it but a swollen head. Willow had all the instruction under control in any case: Buffy wasn't necessary. So then Buffy started drifting around the world, trying to find herself in a world full of slayers. The only place she actively avoided was LA, where Angel had re-established Angel Investigations. It wasn't him specifically she was actively avoiding though. Andrew had told her about Spike's return to the undead and that he was working with Angel. Her immediate thought at the time was to run to him, touch him, feel he was real. But when she was on hold with the airline to book her plane ride, she thought about how he had known she was here, known she was alive and yet didn't even bother to inform her or his return, of his existence. He had let her believe that he was gone, that he had burned up for her, that he loved her more than anything. And when he got a second chance (or a third, or a fourth: Buffy had lost count), it seemed that he didn't need her anymore, that he could go on without her knowing about his survival. So she perpetuated the fiction of his nonexistence, as it seemed he wanted her to believe.

At some point she had ended up in DC, trying to stop a bar fight on election night. It was lucky she had been acting pretty restrained because there she was spotted by Adam, who offered her a chance to work for the FBI. She barely hesitated. The idea of a place where she could have useful skill without the responsibility of "The Slayer" seemed a possibility, finally, for some semblance of normality. A year of training, two working with Adam and she finally was going off on something important, with her own partner and a chance to solve a problem that was uniquely her responsibility. She couldn't say she wasn't also a little excited to get back into the perilous. Besides for a few demons, she'd had little to do with any proper slayage and it was nothing like real danger. She just hoped Agent Mars, Veronica, could handle herself.

At the airport, Veronica stood by the gate, waiting for Buffy to show. She had only had a chance to glance at the stuff that had been packed for her, but she knew it was pretty cringeworthy collection. At least she would be wearing them where no one she knew would see her. She turned to see something undeniably, Pepto-Bismol pink coming towards her. When the shock of the color itself had died down, she could identify it as Buffy in a matching set of a pink terrycloth tracksuit. Veronica managed to control her desire to gape, but the word, "Oh my God," only just slipped out between her lips.

Buffy giggled at Veronica's horrified expression. "I was just trying to get into character," She explained.

Veronica eyes widened as she replied, "It seems like you imagine Serena as some sort of Barbie princess from the Jersey Shore. I like your vision. It's very, um, pink, to say the least. I hope I won't have to follow in those incomparable footsteps."

"Well, sis, seems like it's about time we got on that plane and you stopped criticizing my wardrobe. Everyone knows the big sister is the boss." Buffy marched off towards the gate and Veronica was able to observe the rhinestoned "Juicy" emblazoned on the back of her pants.

"And everyone knows the little sister gets to be the pain in the ass," Veronica called as she trotted after her. Through the whirlwind of planning and packing so far, she hadn't had time to properly consider her partner. Could it be possible that this assignment, dangerous and all, could turn out to be fun?

Meanwhile, Veronica's inner cynic was just waiting for their budding new friendship to implode disastrously.

Please review and tell me what you think. I would really like to know if people are interested to see whether to keep going! Old friends to show up in the next chapter, of course. Make my sad, authorial heart sing: review!