A/N- Contains self harm

Some days you don't feel pain, some days you have to block it out.

Some days the pain is everything that you need, surging through your body, some days the only way to feel alive is to be on the verge of death.

It's the first time in a long time that you find yourself taking steps into the bathroom and collapsing on the closed door behind you, it's the first time in a long time that you find yourself letting the tears fall freely down your face and it's the first time in a long time that you feel the sharp but relieving pain of the razor blade slice across your wrist. Your eyes follow the drops of crimson blood that leave your paling skin and splatter onto the cool magnolia tiles beneath you. It's a sight that you hoped never to see again, but one that was so comforting it made the events of the day to be quickly forgotten instead of focusing on how you nearly killed not only yourself but another alien child; you focus on the black spots that slowly but surely appear in front of your eyes.

Soon you no longer have the energy to move the blade across your body parts, if the blood that surrounded you was anything to go by there wouldn't be much more blood to loose. Your vision is almost all black and in the last few moments before you pass out on the floor you think of the man that saved your life. The man with so much pain but managed to keep you happy and show you the stars..the man that was not a man but the only one that cared.

"I'm sorry.."

Honestly you don't expect to wake up, and neither do you want to so when your eyes flutter open to stare at the off white ceiling on the med-bay you can say that you're somewhat disappointed.

"Don't do that again."

You slowly turn your head to find that Doctor sitting in a chair reading over what seems to be your medical files.

"Come to me. Talk to me. Don't hurt yourself. We can hurt together. It's okay to hurt."

That's when the tears start to fall, no one ever told you it was okay. You find yourself wrapped up in the Doctors arms, your tears staining his brown suit, not tears of happiness or tears of pain but tears of betrayal, after all Rule one. The Doctor lies.

Disclaimer- Disclaimed

EDIT- HOLY FUCK WAS I A FUCKED UP CHILD WHO LET ME ON THE INTERNET?! Nevertheless I edited some of it but I'll more than likely do it again. Sighs.