First Time
By: KellyCRocker59
Well, here it is! It took a lot of thought, and I wanted to make it perfect, so I hope it is! Please tell me if anything is off or doesn't feel right or just isn't good; I love feedback.
Please, please, PLEASE review! I'm not above begging ;)
Sean and Holden had been dating for nearly a year. They spent almost every weekend together, with as many nights of the week as Sean could manage to get his manager to clear up spent on dates or just in the other's company. Holden found himself staying later and later at night over at Sean's house. They would make out for long periods, but Sean would never push him to do anything beyond that. Holden wasn't a prude; he just wanted sex to be as special as possible.
He knew Sean wanted to have sex; why wouldn't he? Holden wanted to as well; Sean was the sexiest man he had probably ever seen, and that wasn't just him being biased. But Holden wasn't about to have sex just to keep Sean in his life. That just wasn't right, and Sean wouldn't leave him because he was withholding sex. Sean was perfectly aware of why Holden wanted to wait, and respected that.
Holden had no idea how many sexual partners Sean had had. He only knew of one that Sean had told him about, and it was just a guy he had messed around with whenever he was first wondering whether or not he was really gay. As for Holden, he had never actually made love to someone as the older people called it. He had only ever been raped in college by a fellow student, drugged by his former boyfriend in exchange for money. Sean was still very uncomfortable with that fact, and was therefore always careful with Holden and protective when they were in public. At least that was the explanation Holden had come up with. Maybe it was just Sean's nature.
He reflected on his relationship with Sean as he sat on his boyfriend's bed, contemplating the decision he was about to make. Sean had given him a key so that Holden could come over whenever he needed anything, regardless of whether or not Sean was home. That was the luxury of having an insanely rich boyfriend, Holden supposed. But as for the reason why he was sitting on Sean's bed, Holden had thrown the idea of their first time together around in his mind, and tonight seemed like as perfect a night as any.
Holden didn't want to wait for a holiday or special occasion; that would put a time table on it. He had decided a while ago that he would just know when it was time to sleep with Sean. And he had woken up that morning and just known somehow. Something in his head told him it was the night for them to be together. Holden had the weekend off, and Sean would be at a charity benefit until about ten o'clock that night, with nothing to go to all weekend, giving Holden the perfect chance to plan everything.
So he went about it without saying a single word to Sean. He wanted it to be a surprise; after all, Sean had at least a bit of experience. Holden had none, so he needed some sort of leverage to even the playing field. He didn't know if he could handle it if he turned out to be terrible in bed.
Holden made a playlist of his favorite, most romantic songs. Nearly every single one was Mariah Carey, his favorite artist. Sean didn't love her like he did, but it was the sentiment that counted, and Sean was a sucker for these sort of things. Holden then bought a large container of rose petals; it took a bit of searching to find a business that actually sold real rose petals in a container, but he eventually found a place and made his purchase.
That evening, he went over to Sean's house after texting him to make sure he was at the benefit, and began to get everything ready. He had of course made sure to take a shower and do everything necessary to looking as amazing as possible, but he was still nervous about Sean seeing him naked. He didn't have the best self esteem, and he was sure Sean, being the football player that he was, had a much more sculpted body then he did.
He wasn't going to let his petty insecurities stop him, however, and positioned the stereo in Sean's bedroom just right, setting up and lighting all the right candles in all the right places so that everything looked perfectly serene, turning off the lights completely for full effect. And then, he started playing the music softly, adjusting it to the perfect volume. Then came the part of his plan that would make him a bit uncomfortable.
He stripped off the suit that he had been wearing since his brief meeting earlier that day, all the way down to where he was garbed in only his boxers and button-up white shirt, which he unbuttoned all the way down and let hang open. He looked at his phone; it was nearly nine-fifty. He was right on schedule.
He texted Sean, asking him if he was still at the benefit. Sean replied yes, but he was about to leave. So Holden, in the most mysterious way possible, texted him back that Sean should hurry home once it was over, because he was lonely. Immediately after he sent it, Holden realized it was a frail attempt at being sexy, and thought Sean was probably holding back a laugh as he read the message in the cordial environment.
He attempted to stage a position that would be sexy enough to redeem him. Holden climbed onto the bed after scattering the rose petals and, using the remote for the stereo that was on the bedside table, put 'Touch My Body' by Mariah Carey on repeat. He then positioned his legs spread, back against the headboard, and took a small pillow, planting it between his legs. Sean would hopefully walk in and not be able to hold himself back.
Minutes went by, and Holden was beginning to get nervous. He was glad he liked the song as much as he did, because it was probably playing for the tenth time. Then, finally, as he was beginning to get a bit weary of sitting in the same position, he heard the front door open and close quietly.
"Hey, I'm home!" Sean called, not sure where his boyfriend was.
Holden contemplated speaking, but thought against it. Sean would surely head to the bedroom first to change clothes from whatever suit he was in. Probably that grey one that looked so good on him. Crap, Holden didn't know if he would be able to wait much longer.
"Holden, are you here?" Sean asked, voice getting closer.
Holden refused to move, and then, finally, the bedroom door, which he had left ajar, was pushed open. There stood Sean, in all of his suited sexiness. His expression morphed immediately from curiosity as to where Holden was to surprise, and then to realization.
"I'm ready." Was all Holden could manage as he held his position, immediately feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
"Are you sure?" Sean asked, that concern that he got in his eyes visible even in the dark room.
"What?" Holden asked, not sure he was hearing him right, "Y-Yeah, I'm sure."
Sean walked closer to the bed, and just stood there.
"Holden, I don't need this if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything."
Holden got off the bed, unable to take it anymore. He began buttoning his shirt back up, reaching for his clothes on the floor.
"This was a bad idea. I'm sorry, please, just forget this ever happened."
However, as he went to leave the room, he felt himself stopped in place by two hands on his arms. He turned toward them, Sean standing and attempting to catch his gaze.
"Holden…I love you. I want this…lord, I want this so bad. But it just surprised me. I'm sorry…"
Holden melted into that look that Sean gave him. The look that said he would never leave him, that as long as he was there, Holden had nothing to worry about. That Sean would take care of him. And he cracked.
Holden leaned up, pressing his lips to Sean's. Sean was surprised, but then pushed his lips back against Holden's, one hand on his hip and the other on the small of his back. Holden's hands went to Sean's jacket, pushing it from his shoulders. Sean's hands found the buttons on Holden's shirt, unbuttoning the several that the other male had attempted to button back.
"I want this so bad, Sean…I want to show you how much I love you…" Holden whispered as their lips parted briefly, foreheads pressing together.
Then, their lips were against one another's again, this time less rushed and more passionate. Holden yanked Sean's button-up shirt from his pants, Sean undoing his tie and throwing it to the side. Holden worked the buttons down, shoving the shirt from his shoulders to reveal his toned chest. Holden immediately felt self-conscious, no matter how much he was trying not to.
Sean attempted to push the shirt the rest of the way off of Holden, but Holden sort of pulled away, trying not to break their kiss.
"What's wrong?" Sean asked, pulling away and resting his hands on Holden's shoulders.
"I just…sorry, I'm just…I'm self-conscious." He whispered, looking down and feeling ashamed. He didn't think it would be this debilitating.
"Of what? Your body?" Sean asked, and then his hands were running down Holden's bare chest. Holden flinched away, but Sean moved one hand to rest underneath the shirt against his back, the other on his chin.
"You're beautiful, Holden...even if you didn't have an amazing body, which you do, I would still think that. I want to see you, to touch you. I just…I want to be able to let you feel how much I love you."
"But I'm all…I don't know, I have all this hair and you're so smooth and sexy and-and…" He mentally kicked himself for stuttering over his words.
"So? You think chest hair makes you ugly? I think it's hot. And I think it's looks sexy as hell on you." Sean said, smiling at Holden and holding his eyes with his own.
Holden smiled back, blushing.
"There we go, there's that adorable blush again. Now let's get these clothes off."
And their lips were together again, Holden feeling at home in Sean's arms. He didn't even know what he had been worrying about now as Sean finally managed to shove his shirt off, leaving him in only his boxers. Then, Sean was lowering him slowly onto the bed, lips against his own, gentle and passionate.
Sean stood back up, working his belt free and shoving his pants off. Then, he climbed back onto the bed in only his boxers, just as Holden was. They just kissed there, hands exploring one another's body. And then Sean slipped his hands into the fabric of Holden's boxers, pulling at the elastic.
"Ready for this?" Sean asked, pulling back briefly.
Holden nodded, and then Sean was pulling his boxers off, his own following quickly. They kicked the clothing away, and Holden felt their manhoods rubbing, both of the them getting into the mood quickly.
Sean met his lips again and as they kissed he grabbed their erections, pumping them slowly against one another. Holden gripped Sean's back tightly as pleasure coursed through him, his hips moving against the other male's hand.
"That feel good?" Sean asked, breathing heavy.
Holden nodded, and pulled Sean's neck back down to meet his lips again. He wanted to be flooded with Sean, overwhelmed by just his presence. He wanted to be here with him and never leave.
Then, Sean pulled back, stopping the ministrations with his hand.
"Are you ready for…you know...?" He asked.
Holden nodded blushing a bit, "I've…I've never really done this before so…"
"I know…trust me, Holden, I would never hurt you; I've never done this before either but-"
"You haven't either?" Holden asked, surprised.
"No; I mean I messed around with guys but I was never in a relationship long enough to where I was comfortable with doing something like this…" Sean explained, hand absentmindedly running along Holden's stomach.
Holden smiled, "I'm…I'm really glad we get to be each other's firsts."
And then there was that damn blush again.
Sean chuckled, and kissed Holden gently again. Then, he reached over into his bedside drawer and pulled out a bottle of lubricant and a condom.
"I bought it just in case you ever decided to do it without me having time to prepare." He explained.
"Good thinking." Holden replied with a smile.
Then, Sean was lifting his leg up. Holden twisted it around Sean's lower back, giving him room. Sean squeezed the lubricant out and coated his fingers in it.
"This might sting a little at first, but I'll try to be gentle." Sean warned, and then a finger was probing Holden's hole, pushing its way in.
The ring muscles protested then gave away, Holden gasping at the feeling of having something inside of him. It felt…odd, but not bad. Sean began kissing him again, gently as he thrust the finger in and out. Then there was another finger added, and Holden arched his back a bit, gasping against Sean's mouth.
"You okay?" Sean said, immediately stopping.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just…keep going." Holden replied.
Sean continued after searching Holden's face to be sure he was telling the truth, the fingers scissoring apart and stretching Holden, preparing him for what was about to happen. Then, Sean pulled the digits out and sat up on his knees.
"Tell me if this hurts and I'll stop." Sean said, eyes focusing on Holden with that protectiveness that he loved him for.
Holden nodded, "I'm sure I can handle it. I just want you, Sean."
Sean smiled.
"You can't say things like that. It's way too hot."
Holden chuckled, and then Sean was lifting his legs onto his hips, pulling him toward him from where they had scooted against the headboard somehow. Sean pulled on the condom, spread on a bit more lubricant, and then Holden felt the head against his entrance. Sean was big, and Holden held the sheets in preparation.
Then, Sean was pushing the head in, breeching Holden in the most personal way. It stretched Holden wide, pain spreading through him. Holden arched his back and gripped the sheets tightly, gasping.
"Holden, are you okay?" Sean asked, stopping immediately.
Holden nodded, "Yeah, you're just…you know, big. I can handle it though."
Sean smiled, and Holden felt him pulse inside of him.
"Man, why do you have to say stuff that's so sexy when I'm already way turned on." Sean said, blushing a bit.
Holden smiled, and then Sean focused again.
Alright, here we go."
Holden Sean pushing in deeper; it hurt still, but it was a dull pain as his body fit around Sean's erection, the other male filling him more and more.
"Almost there…" Sean said, body tilted over Holden.
And then, just as he buried himself completely within him and pressed their chests together, Holden felt a surge of pleasure so intense his back arched completely off the bed as he gasped.
"Holden, what's wrong?" Sean asked, concerned.
"N-Nothing, that place you hit, it…it just felt really good," Holden managed out, "just start moving."
Sean did so, elbows resting on either side of Holden's shoulders as he pulled out and pushed back in fully. Both males groaned loudly, Holden's hands clinging to Sean's back. Sean developed a steady pace, pulling out and thrusting back in. Pleasure pulsated through Holden as he went, his erection rubbing between their stomachs.
"Holden, man…feels so good…" Sean gasped out, leaning down and kissing him as he began to speed up.
Holden clung even more desperately to Sean as the pleasure built within him, pressure tightening his lower stomach inside. Sean was thrusting fast now, Holden moving his hips against the other male. Then, Sean was on his knees again, gripping Holden hips and thrusting rapidly.
Holden pushed himself up, Sean falling back into a sitting position as their legs overlapped, the football player now thrusting up into the other male. Groans pulsed through them as Holden gripped Sean's back.
"S-Sean…close…" Holden managed to warn.
Sean didn't slow, continuing to thrust rapidly, relentlessly against the place that made Holden's body pulse with pleasure. Then, the pressure exploded, pleasure bursting through Holden as he tightened around Sean's erection.
"Sean!" He moaned loudly, and came against their stomachs.
One more thrust and Sean pushed deep within him.
"H-Holden…" He groaned, and Holden could feel the other male's seed overflowing the condom, inside of him.
They just stayed there for a moment, both panting heavily. Then, Sean pulled out, laying them down slowly onto the bed. He pulled the condom off and tossed it into the trash can by his bedside counter. Holden rolled over so that Sean could lay down, the football player pulling the covers up around them before lying down on his back.
Holden curled into Sean's side, the other male wrapping an arm protectively around him. Sean leaned down, kissing him gently.
"I love you." Sean whispered to him. It was only for his ears to hear.
"I love you too." Holden said, burying his face into Sean's chest and feeling himself enveloped but sleep.
"Do you want to...move in together?" Sean asked.
"That sounds really nice." Holden replied, looking up at the other male, who smiled down at him.
"Good...because I think we might be meant for each other, Holden." He replied.
"I think you're right." Holden said, and then felt sleep take him.
He had never felt so complete in his life.