Everything Wrong With: Ace Attorney Investigations: Prosecutor's Path
Episode One: Turnabout Target
Spoilers... duh
(Before we start) "Fandom teams up to do shit franchise refuses to do and arguably does it better than them cliche. I wasn't originally going to include this in the review proper, but since these fans are literally the only reason this game is playable in English and this is the game with the fewest typos and localization errors-" *review begins with a negative five sins
"President of Zheng Fa comes to visit the United States, and decides to land his plane in the middle of a Los Angeles lake (a place with no national, popular, cultural, or historical significance of any kind) and give his address in front of said plane to a relatively small crowd. Who planned this diplomatic event? Fire that person." *ding
("Can you hear it? The cheers of the crowd!") "No, I can't." *ding
("Huang's" speech recaps the events of the previous title) "Reminder that Turnabout Ablaze was a case that existed. I'm still sore from that review, thank you very much." *ding
("Huang" declares that "The Hammer of Justice shall be brought down upon all evil!" seconds before being supposedly being shot at) "Irony." *ding
"Why does Edgeworth get called in to deal with 'Huang's' assassination attempt? I know 'Huang' thinks Edgeworth is all that for solving the previous case, but wouldn't a crime of this magnitude be more likely to end up in the hands of a federal prosecutor, or even a group like the CIA? This game and its prequel have taken great pains to remind us that Edgeworth prosecutes only for the district. And no, it's not like he cares about jurisdiction at any other point in this game, but that's not even the problem here because Edgeworth was invited onto this crime scene! Is expecting Ace Attorney to understand how district, state, and federal jurisdictions work too much to ask of this series? Why yes, yes it is." *ding
(Nicole Swift) "Discount Lotta Hart. The fact that they lampshade this later does nothing to erase the sin, by the way." *ding
"After having no idea how Logic works in the last game, Gumshoe is now explaining it to Swift like it's the most obvious thing in the world. See what happens when he's allowed to sleep before taking a case?" *ding
(A deflated Steel Samurai balloon in the lake AGAIN) "Aw dammit. They managed to shoe-horn the Steel Samurai into this, didn't they? After the last time this character appeared, I can't exactly say I was ready for a recurrence just yet." *ding
"Also, Turnabout Goodbyes reference. It wouldn't be a sin if it wasn't so obvious. They were already pushing it with us returning to Gourd Lake, and now-" *ding
(the logos on Swift's jacket include brands like "IKEO" and "C-R-US") "Obvious riffs on actual brand names." *ding
"Edgeworth could ask literally anyone else in the venue about the number of gunshots. It's not like he has to get his information out of Swift, at least at this stage of the case. But yes, by all means. This is the perfect place to introduce the Logic Chess minigame." *ding
"Logic Chess: (exists)
"Psyche-Locks: Who are you?
"Logic Chess: I'm you, but cooler, without evidence-presenting, and not supernatural for no reason." *no sin
"Also, timed minigames. I like the addition of these, and honestly wish more AA games would use them." *still no sin
(Swift doesn't want to hand over what she knows) "Swift acts like she has a choice in the matter." *ding
"Edgeworth agrees to let Swift interview him after the conclusion of this case. We never see the results of said interview." *ding
"The Zheng Fa theme. It's patriotic, epic, and the longest song in the AA series to play before looping." *removes a sin
"Who still uses tapes in 2019? Or even 2011, for that matter?" *ding
"Tracking the bullet's trajectory in an investigation is a great tool that could have helped in several different cases. So naturally, none of the other games have us do it." *sin on the other games
"Game thinks laser pointers emit a continuous beam of light that easily indicates their user's position. In reality, they only leave a dot on what they're aimed at." *ding
"I love how a six shot revolver is supposedly banned in this universe, but Americans can walk around with assault rifles in the real world and face zero consequences. This may be one of the few instances in which the AA legal system has a leg up on the US's. And the fact that I can even type that is really a sin." *ding
(Kay jumps into the case) "Yay, but... how did she end up on top of the car? Where the heck was she standing before jumping down to meet us? This is never explained." *ding
("Long time, no see, Mr. Edgeworth!") "It's been ten days, Kay. Less, if you include the fact that she was probably a witness in Alba and/or Shih-na's trial. But I guess it would have been two years for the Japanese players to wait, and even longer for English-reading fans, so... sin for this game taking so long to reach us. And while we're on the subject, fuck Capcom." *ding
(Kay's pictures) "Seeing as this game was made in 2011, I think I can safely say that Kay is the inventor of the selfie craze." *ding
"Did Kay bring a Polaroid to this event? How else would she have physical copies of the photos already?" *ding
"De Killer walks around with his logo, the very item that allowed Edgeworth to be the first to identify De Killer in Farewell, on his suit jacket and Edgeworth doesn't recognize him. Even acknowledging that Edgeworth never met De Killer in person, Edgeworth is an idiot." *ding
"John Doe." *ding
"Game lets you skip confrontation tutorials if you want. This is one area in which the Investigations games lord over the main series, and I am grateful for it." *no sin
"When De Killer's wound bleeds through, the bloodstain disappears from the white sling after he wipes down it with a napkin. That's... not how blood works." *ding
"Rooke managed to land a hit on De Killer's arm without injury to himself. He did survive the encounter, but unfortunately didn't live to tell the tale long after that. Thanks a lot, Knightley. Taking out one of the game's greatest badasses before he can even say a word." *ding
"The ice cream sweats." *ding
"This game leveled up in comparison to its prequel in ensuring that the slicing sound effect and animation during Rebuttals are indeed synced. Sometimes it's the little things that get the greatest level of appreciation out of me. I don't know if it's worthy of a sin removal, though. Maybe just a shoutout." *no sin
(De Killer claims there was another individual with a red hood) "Well, we've just got a whole gang of them in this game, don't we? Almost reminds me of a certain company of detective comics and the origin of many a Joker story." *ding
"This Pursuit theme. It doesn't suit Edgeworth as well as the previous theme, but it's way more hype." *removes a sin
"The game does the dramatic pan-between-the-characters-to-see-who-interjected... only for none of the characters it pans to to be the one who interjected. So what was the point?" *ding
"Knightley's gun twirling." *ding
"Also, Horace Knightley." *ding
"Game waits until we're over an hour into the first case to properly murder mystery. A presidential assassination attempt as an opening move just wasn't exciting enough, I guess." *ding
"Speaking of being over an hour into the first case... this is easily the longest first case in the series. That should tell you right now just how long this game is gonna be. Hope you all brought snacks to this review." *ding
(De Killer takes Knightley as a hostage at knifepoint to continue the investigation) "While I'm not surprised that someone as crafty as De Killer managed to sneak a knife into a president's speech, I am disappointed that an assassin as smart as him thought killing the president with a close range weapon in front of a crowd would in any way be a good idea. Unless De Killer was planning to throw the knife, no way was he carrying out this job without exposing himself. Has he escaped the police's grasp so many times that he just doesn't feel like trying anymore? If so... I don't know who I'm sinning in this scenario, but it's definitely a sin." *ding
"Also, this Fate theme. What is it with de Killer and his ability to bring banging Fate themes into his cases?" *removes a sin
(Investigating the president's plane) "Explaining ballistic markings for the billionth time." *ding
"De Killer peaces out after searching the president's plane for thirty minutes to avoid being caught. What a shit ton of build up for (what feels until the finale like) a worthless character recurrence. One does not simply waste one of the coolest characters in the series. Not without getting sinned, at least." *ding
("Huang" comes out) "This ham." *three sins for now
(The plane has extraterritorial rights) "Oh, not this shit again..." *ding
(Wind in the flags changes the bullet's trajectory, proving the assassination attempt was faked) "Knightley threatens to shoot a prosecutor in the head in front of several witnesses, one of which is a detective. Naturally, this action leads to no consequences whatsoever." *ding
"Swift never faces any consequences for being an accomplice to a fake assassination." *ding
(The president's muscles deflate through his mouth) "Cool, but... how?" *ding
"Knightley's Objection voice. I appreciate their getting fan voice actors for this, but seriously? He sounds like he's sneezing." *ding
"Knightley blames Rooke for dying, even though he's the one who killed him. Because that makes sense." *ding
"Can we please come up with better testimony names than just '(Name)'s Testimony/Logic'? Please?" *ding
"Knightley nearly shoots himself several times throughout this case. First of all, how is that not leaving a crap ton of bullet holes in the plane? Second of all, doesn't he know he has to wait until the second case to die? Calm down, will you?" *ding
(Switching the guns so that ballistic markings implicate Swift) "This is... actually, pretty clever. Not bad for a first case villain, huh?" *no sin
"That said... how did nobody notice him doing this? Sure, Edgeworth and 'Huang' were otherwise occupied, but that still leaves Kay, Gumshoe, and Swift, not to mention the other nameless bodyguards. Is the game expecting me to believe Knightley can load bullets into a gun behind his back? I think the game honestly wants me to believe that." *ding
"The only thing worse than Knightley's gun twirling animation... is his facial animation when zoomed out. He looks like a two-legged donkey." *ding
(Knightley's breakdown) "Where did 'Huang' get a Thinker statue? I though Larry only made two of these things. And how did Knightley not die from being hit on the head with one? Sure, he dies later, but from a stabbing. Did the statue lose its dark magic sometime between 2016 and now? How does that work, exactly?" *ding
"Also, the Samurai Dogs. This box has the red dot filled in, so... how did 'Huang' get his hands on evidence from a case that happened ten days ago? Shouldn't it still be in police custody? This makes even less sense than the Thinker Statue." *ding
("This game isn't over yet! You hear me?") "Well, duh. We're only on the first episode. Pretty sure Edgeworth already knows, but thanks for the reminder, I guess." *ding
("The rest of this 'game' will continue in the courtroom.") "No it won't. This is an Investigations game. We only have one real court scene, and that doesn't happen until the finale. Stop lying, Edgeworth." *ding
(Edgeworth points out that we still don't know who hired de Killer) "Foreshadowing the finale." *ding
("I hope this case doesn't turn into a larger incident...") "Hahahahahahahahahahaha. I'm sorry. Which game am I playing, again?" *ding
"Ending narration." *ding
Total Sin Tally: 47
Sentence: Blinded with a laser pointer
A/N's: Happy (American) President's Day, everyone! What better way to celebrate than to sin a case about presidential assassination? I'm looking forward to sinning more of this game, even if I acknowledge that it's going to take me forever. I was also glad to get a little bit of a break after sinning the first Investigations game. Here it is: the genuine CS-style review of AAI2.
Speaking of sinning the first Investigations game... There was a guest review I got for my Turnabout Ablaze review that I wanted to respond to. Since I think leaving reviews on my own story is tacky, replying here is the next best thing. If the following does not apply to you, feel free to scroll past it.
To guest reviewer JJ:
First off, I think you misunderstood my complaints about the length of the case. I am fully aware that Ablaze is, in absolute terms, shorter than several other finales in the series. In fact, Ablaze is not even my longest finale review, as Bridge, Succession, Tomorrow, and Revolution all got more words devoted to their sinning than Ablaze did. Rather, it is how long the story felt that I was repeatedly referring to. You acknowledge this as well, in your comment about the investigation-to-dialogue ratio in the final three chapters.
Furthermore, I believe I did address some of your other points in the fic itself. Perhaps I wasn't as clear as I could have been, however. Do you recall the part where I said that some of my complaints are "equally applicable to the sequel (AAI2) and its finale" but that the reason this case felt so dragged out was because "they resolve every interesting aspect of this game halfway through the finale, then leave you wondering why you agreed to stagger through the rest"? The other games saved more of their exciting, built up plot elements for near the end of the finale (except Succession, but that case was also punished severely), but this case left the last several hours devoted to tying up fairly minute details in a pursuit against a culprit that few felt the drive to take down anyway. The length and difficulty level did not match the player's investment in the case by that point.
When one feels like the latter third of a case is a chore, do you think time seems to pass quickly or slowly? While I am glad you were able to enjoy the case more than I was, I think that, once I re-formatted the bonus round, Ablaze received exactly the number of sins it deserved. And I hope you are reading this, or else I just wasted a lot of words. If you want, you could leave your future comments on the AO3 version of this fic. I can reply to any comment directly underneath on that site, regardless of whether the commenter is a member or not. That, or you could get an account here. It's free, after all. Regardless, thank you for taking the time to leave your thoughts on my work. I always appreciate reviews.
Thanks to everyone for reading, I hope you take the time to review as well, and I will see you on the far side!