Kevin x Ben

But I Love Him Either Way

He's an ass. I finally fucking realized it.

I get it that his sexuality would be a disgrace to everyone counting on him, but I can't keep hiding away when he's fucking a neighborhood hoe (not really) and getting publicity. He an ass no doubt about it.

He came earlier and were now on the bed. Sweaty and hot from our "encounter". I remember the first time we did it. It was pure "make love" not, "did it". He was my first, and I was his first. This always happens he comes over and I offer him something, he usually says no but then after 20 minutes of random blabbing we do it. Then he leaves after he's done with me and usually gets mad after I say I love him.

He never appreciates my love. I told him I loved him when we were in my car at the front of his house from a hard day's work. He broke up with that Japanese bitch about a month ago. He responded with a 'don't say that again', which confused me, but in no time he kissed me. Our tongues battled and our hormones raged. It was a weird place for our first, but we didn't care. our minds were blocked from consequences with his cousin, our parents, his grandfather, and the whole universe.

I kept thinking that he just wanted to confess first, but in reality he saw me as a toy. A sex toy at that.

We'd fuck and he'd leave. That's the routine, but I wish he'd at least stay. That's why when he comes, I'd continue to move inside of him. He would complain then bite his lip. Biting his lip is a sign of him liking something that he shouldn't. Whenever I come, I'd whispered I love you to his face then kiss him. He never returns the kiss after I say that. When I get off him, he would automatically leave as if there was no tomorrow. He wouldn't even say goodbye.

I complained about this to him, the next day we saw each other. He whispered saying, "Oh... I have other things to do..."
Even I know that's complete and utter bullshit. We had a full argument, which was so abnormal since we usually accepted everything.

"You should know that our relationship is platonic. We don't have any type of romantic feelings for each other! So shut up about it and stop saying that you love me!"

His left eye moved rapidly throughout that whole speech.

"You are a bad liar... Why do you let me fuck you? Why do you let me kiss you? Why do you tell me your secrets? Why do you tense when others but me touch you?!"

"..."

"You love me and I love you back! Why can't we just forget about what others think and just...be together."

"Because you don't have the universe counting on you! You don't understand..."

"I wouldn't... But I do know that you never let others get into your skin and let them control your life."

"Look...if you wanna stop, I'll understand."

"I just want to have a relationship, not be a fuck toy!"

"You thought that..."

I left. I was too mad at him. He's now promoted to dumbass, next is fucking dumbass. But I love him either way... If I accept or not.

His cousin told me-more like scolded me-to pick him up after school. Of course I refused, but its quiet difficult to argue with a woman, especially when they have telepathic powers that could beat you up within a minute. Probably she was on her monthly gift too...

Either way, she won that battle and now I'm waiting for this dumbass.

"Kevin..."

"That's my name, don't spoil it."

I can't lose my ego, so I should at least pretend until I feel all right.

"Why'd you leave..."

"You know why, get in the car."

"Why did you leave?"

"Look. Do you really want to make a scene-"

"Why did you leave?!"

Great... Now I'm mad and others are looking at us.

"Because I can't handle your dumbass! You treat me like I have no feelings. But I guess you can't understand me, in short you fuck with my feelings and my body. Now get in!"

He got in the car and slammed the door, but of course I yelled about that. Damn no nobody cares about my car and yet they riding it.

"Just tell me to stop..."

I was more confused than the day he kissed me. Why is he telling me this?

"I don't want to hurt you..."

"You're confusing...you do know that, right?"

"I can't...lose you... You're not Julie, you mean more to me. I want you to know that... You're not a toy and especially not a sex toy. I have too much people on me, they ask if I'm gay and look at me with disgust and anger. I can't save everyone when they hate me. I do think of you more than a friend, I have you on my mind all the time..."

"Then say it."

"Say what..."

"Stop doing that. And if you say what again, I'm going to kick you out of this damn car."

"...I...love you."

That made me...I don't even know. So much emotions came out after he said that. You could probably guess what I did next. Yep, I hugged him and kissed him. Damn...I feel like a girl.

"I love you too."

"I already know that..."

"Just to make sure!"

"Does this mean we're an item?"

"No shit Sherlock."

I ended up driving him to his place and make love with him, just like the first time.