Difficulty Relating
Sebastian pulled into his designated parking spot with a heavy heart. He stared out of the windshield and looked up at his apartment window to see only one light on, the light to the room that Myra was now hold up in. She spent another full day cloistered away in that room, probably never venturing out, not even to eat. Turning away from the apartment windows, Sebastian placed the car in park, then turned off the ignition. Mindlessly, his hand reached around to his hip and he pulled out his new trusted companion, the silver six ounce flask. Eagerly he pulled the top off and took a long guzzle of the sweet whiskey. Immediately his frayed nerves began to settle and he found the strength to leave the car and face another long night alone.
Closing the top of the flask and placing it back on his hip, Sebastian then pulled the keys out of the ignition, opened the door to his blue sport utility vehicle and pulled himself out. Sighing softly, he closed the door and began the slow march up to apartment 204. He hated this place. Not because the Grove Point Apartments were a bad place to live- it just never felt right, it never like home. It felt cold and confining like a prison, which in Sebastian's mind was a just punishment for failing to save his precious little Lily. This imprisonment was just desserts for not being there when she needed his protection the most.
Sebastian sluggishly trundled up the stairs and made his way to the door. Trying to find the proper key for the dead bolt lock, Sebastian flipped through his ring of keys and there he saw the key to the house and his heart dropped through the hard concrete floor. Instantly he remembered the day he signed the deed and how happy he was to have brought the prettiest house in Park Ridge. Sure it was over their budget, but it was an amazing house and just what he and Myra wanted; a safe neighborhood, a beautiful view of Krimson Park, and room for the Castellanos family to grow. He figured they would spend many happy years there, even greeting their grandchildren there. But those blissful dreams were gone now and what replaced them was a grim and desolate future.
Sebastian could feel a lump welling in his throat as well as the burning sensation in his nose, and his dark brown eyes began to water. In two days, it would be six months since Lily died and everything since then moved in slow motion, including the painfully sluggish deterioration of his marriage; that was just as agonizing as loosing Lily. Try as he may to give Myra space to deal with everything, she just seemed to shut down and close him out of her life. He needed her so much, but he also knew how terribly she suffered after losing Lily. Perhaps he was going about this all wrong. Maybe space wasn't what she needed right now. Possibly she needed to talk, to know that it wasn't anything either of them could do. It could be she needed to know he loved her and how much their marriage still meant to him. Lord knows he needed the same thing from her. Tonight, Sebastian decided he would get her to open up to him. This was something that was long past due.
Taking a deep breath of warm summer nighttime air, Sebastian found both the key to the apartment door and the courage to face his grief-stricken wife. Bracing himself, Sebastian walked briskly into the apartment. As he walked through the threshold, Sebastian turned on the hallway light.
"My!" He called out. "My, I'm home!"
As expected, she didn't answer or even come out of her room. Sebastian walked through the apartment and turned on a few more lights, before walking over to the door to Myra's office.
"My?" Sebastian called out. "Hey could you come to the door Honey."
"Not right now Sebastian." She called back sternly. "I'm in the middle of something."
"You're always in the middle of something these days." Sebastian replied gently. "My, please come out. I need to talk to you."
"If it's not important Sebastian, I'd really rather be alone right now." She answered.
"But My!" Sebastian grabbed for the door knob and realized that the door was locked.
What on earth was going on inside that room? Why would she feel the need to lock the door?
"My!" Sebastian began to bang on the door hurriedly. "My?! My please open the door! I need… I really need to talk to you. Please My!"
After a few moments of Sebastian pleading and banging on her office door, Myra screamed out and expletive, but finally caved in to her husband's demands. Unlocking the door and flinging it wide open Myra stood at the threshold with an exasperated look.
"For fuck sakes Sebastian what do you want?!" Myra asked angrily.
"My…" Sebastian looked at the woman who appeared before him. He could barely recognize her as his beloved wife.
Apart from the angry glare she had, Myra looked so wild and half crazed. Her hair, which she always kept neat and sweet smelling, now appeared oleaginous and unkempt. Also, her once lovely locks were starting to turn grey in several spots. If she was in a normal frame of mind, she would have gone to the salon and gotten dyed back to her normal dark brown color, but now she just left it untamed and wild. Additionally, she wore the same clothes she had had on for weeks now, and she even reeked of body odor. She had lost so much weight that she looked gaunt and insalubrious. However, nothing frightened Sebastian more than to see the deranged look in her bloodshot dark brown eyes. Myra was falling apart at the seams.
"Spit it out Sebastian!" Myra yelled.
"My…" He said softly, nearly inaudibly. "You never call me Seb anymore."
Straightaway, Myra snapped out of the strange state she was in when she actually looked at her husband, and that's when she noticed the look in his eyes. It was a look she was all too familiar with as a detective in the Missing Persons Unit of the Krimson City Police Department. It was the look of both deep sorrow and complete desperation. Her once mighty husband was without any trace of hope in his deep brown eyes.
"Sebastian, I..." Myra paused, she wanted to reach out to him, but she hesitated.
"It's ok My." He said dejectedly. "Go back to what you were doing. It's not important."
Sebastian turned and walked over to his bedroom and closed the door. Myra stood there for a moment and realized that her quest to uncover the truth of Lily's death was coming at the expense of her marriage. What she was doing was important and the only way to get to the bottom of it was the throw herself into her quest, body and soul. If it meant sacrificing Sebastian in the process, so be it, but Lily had to be avenged. However, right now wasn't the time for this; her husband desperately needed her love and support. As much as she despised being dragged away from her search, it was important to go to her husband. With a quiet sigh, Myra turned around and walked back into her room and closed the door behind her, but instead of returning to her work, she undressed and headed for the shower.
After spending a good half hour cleaning herself up, Myra put on a clean outfit and walked into Sebastian's room. He was on the bed, curled up in a near fetal position. His eyes were closed, but she couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. He might be, considering his flask of whisky lay empty next to him. Myra got in bed and snuggled up next to him.
"My?" Sebastian said opening his eyes a little.
"Yes Seb." She answered softly. "I'm here."
"My…" Sebastian turned around and looked at her.
Granted, she still looked unwell, but she seemed a little more like the woman he had fallen in love with. Seeing her looking a little better, Sebastian hugged her tightly and began to sob in her arms. Myra tried hard to stifle her emotions. She wanted to be the rock that held them together, but she too gave in to them and began to sob bitterly. It was a deep cleansing cry that their battered and weary souls needed. Awhile passed before both Myra and Sebastian pulled themselves together. After their tearful exchange, they both quietly held each. It felt good to be in each other's arms again. It was a moment that Sebastian wished would last forever, but somehow he knew it wouldn't.
"My?" Sebastian said softly, letting go of her tender embrace. "I want to talk about the accident."
Myra didn't say anything.
"You're the only person I can talk to about this." Sebastian said. "You're the only one who would understand how I feel. But if you aren't comfortable talking about it, we don't have to."
Myra still didn't answer, she just nodded her head.
Sebastian cleared his throat and cut straight to the point, "I keep thinking about that night and what the fire chief said to us and in the report, that…"
"The fire began in the basement and that the wiring of the breaker system was ill equipped to handle modern day appliances." Myra finished the statement.
"I know as detectives we want to try and protect everyone, especially our own child, but there wasn't anything we could have done." Sebastian said firmly, but softly. "We have to stop blaming ourselves for this My. It was an accident."
"Seb…" Myra broke off, but then continued. "What if I told you that the fire was no accident? That someone deliberately murdered Lily."
"My…" Sebastian was skeptical but didn't want to turn their quiet moment into an argument, so he hid is skepticism. "How can you be sure? You read the report."
"Yeah I did." She said. "But we had had that house checked from stem to stern before we purchased it. We even paid for an additional inspection just to make certain it would be safe."
It was then Sebastian remembered having to shell out an additional four hundred and fifty dollars for a second safety inspection. That time was so hectic he could barely remember anything about it at all. Lily was nearly a year old, Myra was a stay-at-home mother, and he was working practically non-stop so they could afford the hefty down payment on their new three-hundred and ninety thousand dollar dream home in one of the nicest areas in Krimson City. Sebastian remembered that it was Myra who insisted they have the house inspected twice, because a friend of hers had gotten burned on a house that wasn't properly inspected and ended up shelling out thousands to fix the problems. In order to avoid those kinds of issues and to insure their new home was safe for their baby girl, Myra begged Sebastian to have their new house inspected twice, and he happily complied.
"Remember Seb," Myra continued. "It was because of the second inspector that we had all that rewiring done to ensure the appliances would be appropriate for our house."
"Maybe the electrician missed something." Sebastian said trying to be confrontational. "Or didn't do his job properly."
"There was nothing wrong with our home!" Myra said emphatically. "I've been looking into this whole matter and everything about it was botched. From the way the scene was handled after the fire, all the way up to fire inspector's findings and report. All of this has been a lie! Then even worse, after I discovered this, I started noticing strange things happening!"
Sebastian looked at Myra and she once again had that half crazed look in her eyes. It was obvious she was not handling Lily's death well at all and her grief was spiraling into madness. However, he could hardly tell her that now. He had to be supportive of her, no matter how insane her theory was. For now, he would listen to her ramblings and later on try to find a way to get her some help later.
"What kind of strange things My?" Sebastian asked.
"Notes that about the case keep going missing." She said. "Public record files I need for my investigation are never found. My computer has been hacked at least four times that I'm aware of. And people I've spoken to, they've just up and disappeared."
"But there have always been disappearances in Krimson City My." Sebastian spoke as non-confrontationally as he could. "You're on the Missing Persons Unit, you know that more than anyone."
"Also," Myra continued changing from a loud frantic tone to a soft whisper. "There have been people watching me, following me. I must be too close to something, but what?"
Sebastian was shocked; shocked that he hadn't noticed how far gone his poor wife had become. There was a part of him that wanted desperately to believe her, but it all seemed so bizarre and farfetched.
"You believe me don't you Seb?" Myra practically pleaded.
Sebastian couldn't answer her, he just nodded quietly.
"I'm going to figure out who did this to us!" She said passionately.
"Who would do this to us My?" Sebastian asked.
"I don't know?" Myra answered quickly. "Maybe we were working a case and pissed the wrong person off. Maybe it was a tactic to scare us off and it went out of control, but I know someone is behind this! I know someone is trying to cover up the truth. And when I find them, they will pay with their life."
"My…" Sebastian reached over to hold her in his arms once more, but she got up and began to make a b-line for her office door.
Watching her take off like a crazed and frightened animal made his heart rip into a million little pieces. He wanted to hold her, console her, and assure her that no one was behind the accident. He wanted to tell her that these things were all a delusion. A product of a grief-stricken, overworked, and over exhausted mind. When he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time she had come to bed, nor the last time he actually see her sleeping. Her poor mind was becoming unhinged and he felt powerless to help her.
"My?!" Sebastian called out to her with a wavering voice.
Myra turned around and flashed her wild brown eyes at him, but she was not angry.
"I…" Sebastian stammered, there was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. "I'm glad… I'm glad we could talk, even for a little while."
Myra didn't answer, she just smiled feebly and nodded her head.
"Maybe we can talk again tomorrow?" Sebastian tried to cover the desperation in his voice, but it came though clear as crystal.
"Maybe." She said softly.
With that Myra walked into her office then closed and locked the door. Hearing the door lock behind her, Sebastian felt sick to his stomach. There was something final about the door closing and locking behind her and try as he may to dismiss it, a part of him knew his happy life was dead and buried with Lily.