Ello there! This is just a story i thought of one day when i was bored......(yeh, my life is pretty exciting). anyhoo, r&r please, flames are welcome but dont like set it on fire or anything, k? well, enjoy!!!
Discalimer stuff: I dont own Fruits Basket ( runs to a cornor and sobs) and i dont own teletubbies ( sings hallelujah and skips for joy, handing out cookies)
Kyo and the dreaded Teletubbies!!!!
It was a normal day at the Sohma house. Shigure was in his office, writing a new book (or just dawdling as usual), Tohru was up in her room taking a nap (she had another fever), and Kyo and Yuki were fighting as usual. This particular fight happened to be over the remote control.
" I had it first, you darn rat!" Kyo snarled at Yuki, the remote clenched in his hand. They were both standing up.
" You don't have to yell, you stupid cat," Yuki said, annoyance in his voice.
" I AM NOT YELLING!" Kyo bellowed.
The rat of the zodiac glared at Kyo with his purple eyes.
" Your going to wake Honda-San, you idiot," he said.
" Well, it wont be my fault if she does wake up," Kyo growled, although he lowered his voice quite a bit. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because Tohru had long since gotten used to the deafening sounds of the cat and rat's frequent fights.
Yuki sat down on the floor in front of the T.V.
" Hey, what do ya think your doing, rat boy?"
Yuki turned around to face Kyo, who was still standing.
" Sitting. Why, is it against the rules to sit now?"
" In front of the T.V. it is."
" Why?"
" Because I was here first!" Kyo snarled. " And your blocking the screen with your big head!"
" Havent you ever heard of a word called 'sharing'?" Yuki asked calmly, staring at a commercial for cough medicine.
" No," Kyo said stubbornly, crossing his arms and shaking his head. " Why would I ever want to share anything with you?"
Yuki tore his eyes away from the screen and gazed at Kyo.
" You have never heard of 'sharing'?"
" Sharing is stupid, especially if I have to share something with a damn rat like you!"
Yuki shook his head in mock pity. Suddenly, he had an idea. He looked up at the clock. It read 1:55. Smiling, he remembered the pathetic kid show that comes on at 2:00 everyday. A show that always taught about sharing (or at least thought it did)……
" What are you smiling about, rat boy?" Kyo asked.
" Oh, nothing," said Yuki. He pushed the channel button on the T.V. to channel 2.
" Hey, what the hell are you doing?!??!" Kyo raged, " I was watching that!"
" Watching what, how to feed yourself cough syrup?"
" That was just a commercial, and I'm the one who has the remote-"
" There are other ways to turn the channel without the remote, didn't you know that?" Yuki shot. " Or are you that stupid to figure it out?"
The orange haired boy pushed a button on the remote, trying to change the channel back.
" Hey, it wont work!" He said, testing all the buttons to see if they do anything.
" Oh darn it," Yuki said in mock concern, " I forgot to change the batteries in it."
" You damn rat!" Kyo cried, throwing down the remote as if it were a man-eating spider.
Yuki ignored him as he raged on about lazy people who forget a simple a thing as changing the remote batteries. He didn't care what Kyo said, just as long as Kyo stayed long enough in the living room to see what show was coming on next………….
" Why don't you just see what is on this channel before you go about sounding like an angry hippo? It might be something good if you just shut up and watch."
Kyo slumped down on the couch, seething. Yuki smiled to himself triumphantly.
Suddenly, the teletubby theme song began to play on the T.V. and showed four teletubbies come out of a hill like thing. A voice announced them.
" Tinky-Winky! ( an obese purple alien waddled out and waved gaily at the camera, swinging it's purse around), Po! ( a red one skipped out happily. It bent over and patted one of the many ugly bunnies), Laa Laa! ( a pee- yellow creature frolicked out of the hill), and finally Dipsy!! ( a green one ran out of the hill as if it's abnormally large behind were on fire)."
" What the hell is this crap?" Kyo asked in horror, both at the television and Yuki as the freaky creatures on the screen started to sing a dumb song. " And what kind of idiotic names are those? Twinkle Winky, Dippy, Do, and Blaa-Blaa?" He confusingly thought to himself. " And why in all hell do they have TV screens on their stomachs?"
" An educational show fit for you," Yuki said simply, trying to hold back a chuckle at the disgusted look on Kyo's face. " Just sit here and watch."
" What the hell for?"
" Just watch, it gets better."
" Me want Tubby Toast!" Laa Laa squealed.
" Tubby Toast, what the hell is that? Must be fat toast," Kyo thought.
The creatures then began dancing stupidly, and shaking their butts. The yellow one took out a scooter and started riding it around the other three. The camera then turned onto the baby faced sun. " Lidke lapfa (blows a big raspberry)!!!" It giggled stupidly.
" Oh yeah, this is loads better" Kyo said sarcastically, glaring at the pathetic sun as it giggled drunkenly at the teletubbies.
" This is only the beginning, just be patient like you never are."
Kyo made a sound like an ornery old cat.
Suddenly, a big blue machine, (was it a vacuum?), called Nuu Nuu rolled onto the scene and started making weird beeping noises while it sucked up Tubby toast crumbs.
" They enslaved a vacuum? Or is it their pet? What the hell kind of animals are they?"
As the show went on, Kyo became more and more disgusted and annoyed with the vile creatures skipping around gaily on the screen with their stupid vacuum, and the foul rabbits frolicking along with them.
" This is a fricken gay show," Kyo said grumpily after about 15 minutes. Then the Teletubbies had begun talking about sharing.
" You should listen carefully at this part, baka neko," Yuki said wisely. " It will teach you how to share."
" I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHARE!" Kyo had lost it. He picked up the remote and threw it at the TV., busting the remote. " Those freaky aliens can go to hell and share!!"
" Now, now Kyo must you really yell like that in my house?" Shigure had just entered the room. " Especially when our dear flower Tohru is sleeping-"
He took one look at what was on the television screen.
" Er, what are you guys watching?" He asked with raised eyebrows, watching the alien things play hopscotch with the vacuum cleaner.
" Kyo's learning," Yuki said simply.
" I AM NOT! THIS DAMN RAT TURNED IT ON-"
" It's just teaching him some moral values," said Yuki, looking up at Shigure and trying not to laugh.
" ooohh," Shigure nodded. He smiled broadly and said in a baby voice, " Wittle Kyon is having trouble learning manners so he has to spend his time watching beloved teletubbies-"
" DAMN YOU ALL!" Kyo shouted and ran from the room, muttering loudly about how stupid T.V. shows can get and how he didn't have to have retarded alien creatures teaching him manners.
Shigure began to howl with laughter as Kyo slammed his bedroom door.
" Oh Yuki," he choked, wiping his eyes, " H-how did you ever come up with that idea?"
" Kyo said that he didn't know what sharing meant," said Yuki, shrugging his shoulders and chuckling a bit. "Although I don't know if it made any difference."
" Oh, I wouldn't say that," Shigure said, calming down a bit now, "At least now you can threaten him with teletubbies when he gets out of hand……….When it strikes 2:00, any way. I don't know about you, but I thought he looked as if he had just watched a gruesome horror movie."
END