A/N: I do not own Fire Emblem Awakening or any of its characters.

This story is written for my nephew, who challenged me to write Robin this way after watching a documentary together. My nephew also came up with the title.

"Chrom, we have to do something!" Lissa insists. The young princess had failed to check the unconscious woman for internal injuries with her magic, and she didn't like what she'd discovered. The stranger's body isn't sporting any physical wounds and besides some fatigue, it could've been considered the very peak of health. It is the woman's mind that set Lissa's alarm bells ringing.

Normally, whenever Lissa used her staff to heal people she could feel a kind of "connection" resonate between herself and her patient. It was usually a sign that the flow of energy fueling the restorative process was working. But just a few moments ago when Lissa was probing the older girl, she couldn't establish a link between herself and her patient. The princess had tried her best, but there was only so much she could do if the other party was blocking her out. There were three possible scenarios that could explain what was going wrong:

First, the patient is dead. But you didn't need to be a doctor to see that the hooded woman was still breathing and had a pulse, so...

Second, the patient is actually an incredibly powerful mage who is fully capable of protecting herself in a magical barrier even while out of commission. Which Lissa really, really hoped was the case...

Third, the patient is brain dead. The human brain was a mysterious thing, the kind of subject that only people like Miriel could even begin to understand. This was waaay outside Lissa's range of capabilities, but she still wanted to bring the unconscious female they'd stumbled upon to the closest village for a professional diagnosis, which was the reason why she wanted her brother to act as swiftly as possible!

"What do you propose we do?"

Her exasperating older brother clearly did not understand the urgency in Lissa's tone. He was only a simple crown prince who broke things in and around the Shepherds' garrison in the name of training, so he would need to hear a good reason to move straight from his sister's mouth. Or at least, a logical suggestion as to what, exactly, they would do with the mysterious sleeping beauty.

The princess stares at Chrom, at the comatose patient, at Frederick and his passive face, and back at Chrom.

"I-I don't know!"

...Lissa, understandably, is overwhelmed by the burden of knowing that of the three of them (Chrom, Frederick and herself), she is the only one with enough medical training to grasp how dire the situation was for her patient, at the same time too inexperienced to state any reliable claim to the woman's advanced condition. But Lissa knows that she needs to convince her brother and their bodyguard somehow - the thought of a person losing their life under her watch, so early in her career is unsettling.

The woman lying on the ground begins to stir, unbeknownst to the royal siblings as they exchange words. The small, sharp intake of breath is what catches their attention.

"O-oh! Hey, there!" Lissa greets the groggy female with a shy yet relieved smile. At the back of her head, she concludes that it was due to her own lack of experience that she reacted so badly, because this stranger seems to be doing perfectly fine.

"There are better places to sleep than on the ground, you know." Chrom softens his teasing with a friendly smile of his own. "Here, give me your hand."

The woman lying in the grass does not take the offered hand in question. She does not appear to notice it. Instead, she stares at Chrom's face with wide eyes...

Chrom's smile drops a fraction from apprehension at the stranger's unresponsiveness. "...What's wrong? Can't move? ...Lissa I thought you made sure she wasn't injured?"

Lissa takes a closer look at the woman's eyes - her pupils were noticeably enlarged (which Lissa found strange because one's eye pupils would shrink when exposed to light, and it was really bright out today) but that is not what worries the princess; it s the stranger's lost, blank look that gets those metaphorical warning bells inside Lissa's head ringing all over again.

The prince does not wait for his sister to formulate a coherent response to his inquiry - he is a man of action with purpose, after all. And right now, his purpose is to get this cloaked female to safety. He stoops down and prepares to scoop his right arm underneath the woman's shoulders to help her sit up-

"?!"

The moment he does, the stranger reaches out and cradles his face with both of her hands.

Frederick reacts .81 seconds after her unexpected action, the business end of his lance poised to stab her neck should she make any sudden movements. "Unhand him right this instant, wretched assassin!"

The assassin ignores the knight and continues her rather sensual assault of Chrom's face, stroking his cheekbones with her thumbs in such a way that the prince feels that he is being... worshiped, somehow.

"Unhand him, I said!"

Chrom begins to feel very, very uncomfortable from the constant attention and instinctively tries to free himself from the girl's touches without hurting her by pulling his head back. To his increasing confusion, she just leans forwards, following him so she can continue. His legs are starting to fall asleep from crouching and stretching away from her at the same time.

"If you do not remove your hands from milord's visage immediately, I will-!"

Frederick's threat is cut short when Chrom ends up losing his balance while trying to get away and falls backwards. He automatically flails for something to keep himself from hitting the ground and ends up dragging the hooded lady down as well, sprawling right on top of him. Lissa gawks at her brother and the stranger with wide eyes and an open mouth for a split second before doubling over with laughter at how incredible the situation was.

"Hahahahahaha!"

"Heeheeheeheehee!"

To Chrom's, Lissa's and Frederick's consternation, the 'assassin' starts laughing as well and with pure, childish delight. Before anyone could do or say anything, the female makes herself comfortable, rests her head on Chrom's chest and closes her eyes in contentment.

Lissa bursts out laughing again, this time at Chrom's panicked 'what do I do?!' face and his predicament. She also thought that while it was kind of creepy to see a strange girl on top of her brother, she kind of found the older girl's actions... cute. It was like watching the young children in back Ylisstol clamber all over 'Big Brother Chrom' for a piggy-back ride or to play horsie, only with a grown woman instead.

Frederick on the other hand did not find such interactions funny or cute, but scandalous and offensive to both the crown prince he had sworn to protect and to his own sensibilities. Acting swiftly, Frederick sets down his lance in the grass next to his feet, grabs the assassin by her shoulders and hauls her right off of Chrom. The lady yelps and immediately struggles against the restraining hands; it is almost as if she does not know how to use her legs to stay standing. As the royal siblings look on - one with apprehension and the other with glee - the knight resorts to hooking his hands beneath her armpits and lifting the female right off the ground.

"I-I've heard of this b-before," Lissa wheezes, unable to smother her giggles. "Despite all appearances, she definitely shows behavioral patterns similar to that of a child - and it isn't her fault."

"Why? How?" Chrom asked, finally climbing to his feet. "Was she perhaps the victim of a curse?" He glares sternly at Lissa, but she is unable to stop laughing at his expense.

The princess swallows hard before answering him in a calmer voice, "I'm not sure how it happened... but if my hunch is right, we'll have to take her to a doctor. The problem isn't with her body, but with her mind; she might have... erm, what was the condition called again? I can't seem to remember..."

"It's called a load of pegasus dung," Frederick remarks, keeping a tight hold on the flailing female's shoulders. "We're to believe this woman has the mind of a child? Then why perchance would she attack milord with intent to kill if that were truly the case?"

Chrom's eyebrow arches at his guardian's choice of words. If that truly was her "intent to kill", he could only imagine what a friendly gesture from the stranger would be like.

Lissa finally stops laughing and stomps her foot. "I'm telling you, this is a very serious condition!"

"N-ngh!" The strange female continues her attempts to lunge herself at Chrom, but the knight manages to keep her away from the royal. Her hands are stretched out towards Chrom beseechingly, and her face looks so distressed Lissa is certain that the woman is going to break down any second now.

"Do you see? Even now she continues her mindless attempts at strangulation!" Frederick exclaims. "She must be arrested and taken to the capital for interrogation. There is a possibility she is working for Plegia."

The prince gazes at the weird female still trying to get back to him, pondering on his next actions. On one hand, he trusts Lissa and her judgment as a healer; if she says the cloaked woman needs to see a professional, then it is very likely that the 'condition' his sister spoke of truly is as serious as she makes it out to be. On the other hand Chrom isn't sure he can stand another minute of his personal space getting violated.

"...Wah..."

Suddenly, without warning, the woman in the knight's hands begins to tear up. Chrom, Lissa and Frederick abruptly stop discussing the fate of the woman and stand completely still, the female's sniffles and hiccups becoming more and more pronounced with every passing second.

"WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The assassin's sobs seem to come straight from the very bottom of her soul, and she ceases her fruitless struggles at last. The cries are loud and long, almost heart-wrenching, and the three Ylisseans suspect that the woman's voice can be heard from all four corners of the halidom.

Without thinking, Lissa steps forward-

"No, stay back milady!" Frederick warns.

-and pets the woman's cloaked arm in what the princess hopes to be a soothing manner. "I-it's all right. There, there. You want to hug Big Brother Chrom, don't you? He's right here! See?" Lissa coos, ignoring Frederick's protests and giving Chrom a look.

Chrom doesn't know why he's going to go through with what Lissa is hinting for him to do so easily, but if it will make those terrible wails stop, then he sees no reason to hesitate any longer.

The prince steps forward. "Frederick, let go of her."

"M-milord, I strongly suggest that-"

"Please."

Chrom doesn't want to hear Frederick's warnings anymore than he wants to hear the stranger scream and cry. Frederick senses his lord's impatience and very, very reluctantly lowers the woman until her feet are touching the ground before releasing her.

Her knees buckle almost immediately, and she falls forwards with a startled 'meep'. Chrom tries to catch her at the same time as Lissa, and the siblings both end up on the grass, the stranger resting heavily on top of them. Unable to handle the ridiculousness of their situation, Lissa begins laughing once again, and this time Chrom joins her in spite of himself. The stranger sniffles and giggles along with them, very much amused at the fall itself.

"What if her condition is real, Frederick?" Chrom says at last, still lying on his back with both his sister and the other girl lying heavily on top of him. "We can't just leave her, alone and confused. What sort of Shepherds would we be then?"

"Just the same, milord." Frederick picks up his lance from where he'd left it. "I must emphasize caution. 'Twould not do to let a wolf into our flock. Especially not one as cunning as this."

"Right then - we'll take her back to town and sort this out there. We would need to, regardless, if she truly needs a physician." Chrom starts to get up when he catches the curious gaze the female is giving him. He smiles at her, unsure, and slowly stretches out his arm to gently pat the top of her head; it is an action usually reserved for the children he occasionally plays with back at the capital, and the royal feels out of place doing it to the woman before him now. "Peace, friend - I promise we'll hear all you have to say back in town."

It is Chrom's decision to bring her to town, so he takes it upon himself to carry her all the way there on his back when they realize she cannot walk. They had already tried having her sit with Frederick on his war horse, but Chrom quickly snatched her back when she started sniffling once more.

Lissa glances at her brother and his passenger, not bothering to be discreet about it, and giggles at the sight of the weird lady playing around with Chrom's blue locks. "Hee hee! She looks so happy! I've got half a mind to bring her back home with us to the castle..."

By this point, the back of the royal's head looks like a porcupine. The woman makes a sound of approval at her handiwork, causing the boys to go pale for different reasons.

"Now that I think about it, she hasn't uttered a single word since she woke up. I wonder if she can speak?" Lissa wondered.

"...Hmm, how curious." Chrom turns his head to the side a bit so he can see her. "Tell me, what's your name? What brings you here?"

"...?"

"Ha! Someone pay this actor. She plays quite the fool! The furrowed brow is especially convincing..."

"Frederick, please."

The knight bows his head gracefully, and Chrom resumes his one-sided conversation with the woman. "This land is known as the Halidom of Ylisse. Our ruler, Emmeryn, is called the exalt." The prince doesn't know why he feels the need to explain what his homeland is to her, but he rolls with it. "...I suppose proper introductions are in order... My name is Chrom. The delicate one here is my little sister, Lissa."

"I am not delicate! Hmph!" Lissa complains. "Ignore my brother, please. He can be a bit thick sometimes. But you're lucky the Shepherds found you. Brigands would've been a rude awakening!"

Chrom laughs, heartily agreeing with his sister before resuming the introductions. "This man is Frederick. He is a knight that has faithfully served the royal family for many years - we call him Frederick the Wary."

"A title I shall wear with pride. Gods forbid one of us keeps an appropriate level of caution. I have every wish to trust you, stranger, but my station mandates otherwise."

"...?"

The puzzled expression on the woman's face did not change. Lissa frowns with concern - this mental illness is beginning to look worse and worse the more time they spend with her. Resolved to see the lady's recovery, Lissa faces forwards to march faster-

Fire! The town is on fire!

"Ah, well," Chrom relents. He can see that trying to coax a word out of the lady riding on his back is a hopeless endeavor, so he addresses his companions instead. "We're almost to town. Once we-"

"Chrom, look! The town!" Lissa interrupts frantically, pointing straight ahead. Alarmed by her sudden shout, Chrom and Frederick look in the direction she is pointing. The town's situation rapidly becomes clear.

"Damn it! The town is ablaze! Those blasted brigands, no doubt... Frederick, Lissa! Quickly!"

"But, milord! What about her?"

Chrom blinks at Frederick, unable to comprehend what his long time guardian and friend is referring to.

"Uwee!" The female he somehow forgot he was giving a piggy-back ride this entire time makes a strange noise as if to announce her presence, resuming her play with the prince's hair.

"Ah... right..."

Chrom bends down closer to the ground and carefully drops her off.

"...Guh?"

He turns around, places his hands on her shoulders and gazes deeply into her eyes in order to drive home his words.

"Listen to me. Lissa, Frederick and I are going to go and help the villagers. Under no circumstances do you move from this spot. I promise we will return for you. Alright?"

As he wheedles her, he can't help but feel in his gut that he should not leave her behind. But this is an unreasonable impulse - the woman couldn't speak, much less use her legs! Bringing her with them would make her a liability - and Chrom didn't want to put her in any danger.

And yet...

Her eyes, so big and innocent and clear, seemed to be pleading him not to leave her... something inside him ached to see such a pitiful visage.

"Chrom!" Lissa shouts, already a few paces ahead with Frederick.

"I'm coming!" Chrom hollers back. He turns his attention once more to the woman in his grasp. After repeating his words four more times, he forces himself to stand up and run after his sister and his guardian; the more time they waste, the more innocent lives are jeopardized.

The woman sits on her rump in the dirt road, staring longingly after the blue-haired noble's retreating back. Her lips begin to move in a clumsy, silent attempt at saying the only word she knew, the only word that rang true within her simple mind:

"...C...c-..."

But the effort is too much for her.

When the lord disappears around the bend, the young woman shifts onto all fours and begins slowly crawling after him.