A Life without Love
Any person would say that by the time a normal man reaches his thirties, he would have found a woman to marry, settle in, and have children, but this case does not concern a normal man. It is the pitying story of my life, a life which continues bereft of any flavour while working as the Head of Department of International Sports every day, but perhaps the toughest job I have is raising my eighteen year old daughter.
I was once told that raising a teenager was probably the hardest thing to do as a parent and they were absolutely right about it. If I wasn't spending my time in the Ministry, my presence belonged to finding my daughter, which took hours at a time. It wasn't easy raising a daughter when you were at work for over ten hours. I guess you could call me a workaholic, but for a deep reason, I wanted to spend the least time I could at home, because whenever I stepped into the Malfoy Mansion, old but haunting memories wreaked inside my mind, reminding me of everything I had lost. The only person I had to love and take care of was my daughter, and I prayed that I would never lose her.
Slowly as I approached the back door to my home, I loosened my cloak, ready to throw it over the chair across from the kitchen. From the looks of the house, I knew Portia was home. The same habit as me had possessed her to throw her work clothes over the blue chintz couch. Utensils lay overloaded in the kitchen sink, and my blood boiled to see this sight. All it would have taken her to clean them was a flick of a wand, but she was too apathetic to ever do that.
Where was she? I set my briefcase aside and traveled up the stairs, opening the door to the bathroom first. That girl was in there twenty four hours a day and I could never figure out what she did in there all day. Nope, she wasn't in there. Next, I tried her bedroom. Suddenly I wished I hadn't. I exploded the second my eyes met the scene.
"Portia! You get off him this instant!" I bellowed, my voice echoing through the vast bedroom. Like an electric jolt, Portia and the boy jumped on the bed and turned to face me.
"Dad! What're you doing here?" She instantly grabbed a handful of sheets and covered her chest.
"I think the question should be what are you doing? Get off there now! How dare you-"
"Yes yes. Sorry. I thought you were going to be late today."
"I was, but the meeting got cancelled and I- Nice try changing the subject. And you young man. If I were you, I'd get the hell out before I got a serious beating from a raging father."
The boy mumbled something along the lines of 'don't have to tell me twice', hopped off the bed, put his shirt back on, and stormed out the door in a flash.
"Nice going, Draco."
"Portia, would you call me Dad or Daddy like any other normal child? Calling me by my name truly freaks me out." I bent down to snatch her shirt and threw it to her.
"After that, hell no. Besides, you call be by my name so I should do the same. Try calling me daughter every time you see me."
"Whatever. Just get your clothes on. You should be ashamed of yourself, doing such things."
Portia gave a fake laugh, "Yeah, like you didn't do them at my age."
"That's different. I'm a man and there are no lasting consequences for me."
"Oh, not that double standard again. We are living in the twenty-first century, you know. Look around. Everyone does it."
"I don't care if the whole world does it, and don't think that's going to get you out easily. You're not to go anywhere besides work for the next month."
"What? Draco!" Portia fumed, striking back the sheets and climbing out of her bed.
What am I going to do with this girl? She's eighteen but still can't live on her own feet.
"Draco, I'm eighteen years old! You can't bloody ground me!"
"As long as you live in this house I can, which brings up a great conversation. Have you thought about moving out and getting an apartment?"
I was just playing a game. I didn't really want her to move out, but just said it because it would bring a cringe to her face.
"Once I make enough money, I will, I promise you."
"And that will be…never. Child, you need to learn to live independently. It's the only way you'll learn a few things about life and the real world.
"Alright, you really need to stop calling me child. The last time I informed you, which was like half a minute ago, is that I'm eighteen years old. I can do anything I want, have sex with whoever I want."
This triggered my brain, "Speaking of that, who was he?"
"What do you mean?" She gave him a puzzled look.
"I mean, who is he? A boyfriend, a husband I don't know about, a stripper?"
"Draco! Stop the nonsense! If I told you, you'd just blow up again."
"Which means that it's not good. Fine then. Keep your secret. Get dressed. We're going to the supermarket and I need you to tell me what we're missing."
"The Muggle one."
"Yeah. We need some food and I don't feel like going far. Now get dressed and put a smile on your face."
As I walked out of the room, I heard mimicking voices, "I heard that!"
What a disaster. How could she have been doing that in their house? I couldn't wait for her to grow up and take responsibility for herself. If only Sonya was alive today, then I wouldn't have to do this alone…However, I couldn't forget that it was because of me that she was dead…I could never forget it. The thought entered my head every day and I wished a million times that I could go back in time and change everything, especially myself.
Sure I had found a woman and gotten a child but it wasn't the way I wanted it to be. I never loved the woman I accidentally impregnated and never married and settled down with her. The only reason why I went back was to claim my daughter because Sonya died in childbirth. Before that, I had abandoned her. At least I had gotten one principle right because I would never let my child get adopted or live in an orphanage. The lack of love from my own parents had taught me so. They had chosen to focus more on their loyalties to the Dark Lord rather than love their son, and where had they ended up? One was murdered and the other had committed suicide. I didn't want history to repeat itself so I promised myself I would love my daughter as much as I could, but unfortunately, that had backfired. I realized the time when Portia starved herself until she got this stupid doll that I had spoiled her. When she learned that I had abandoned her mother when I found out she was pregnant, Portia stopped calling me Dad. The past five years had been spent trying to undo all the special treatment but it wasn't working well.
"Portia! Get down here!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and added, "And don't Floo anywhere!"
Five minutes later, Portia came down the stairs in some highly inappropriate clothes.
"Hey, we are going to the market, not a pub."
"What if I run into some luscious guys? I have to be ready, Draco."
"Alright, I did not need to know that."
"You're the one who brought it up."
"Fine. Whatever. You're never going to change. We're going."
We both Disapparated to an empty alley right behind the supermarket. Night was almost here with the clouds diminishing and the sun diving beneath the low hills. The supermarket was only one of the few buildings around the suburban area that actually had some decent food and equipment.
"I don't know what kind of guys lurk here."
"Maybe they work here."
"That would make them Muggles."
"And your point is?"
"Portia! You can't mess around with Muggles! They're filth, I tell you. Stay away from them. Wait a minute," I said, suddenly thinking of something, "Was that guy a Muggle?"
"Yeah, sure."
"What!"
"Draco, don't freak out. You'll get a heart attack."
"Yes, then I'll be lucky." I muttered.
The store was extremely big compared to others. There were over thirty aisles that extended past a hundred meters with anything a person needed.
"We need…some pork, gravy, jam, bread, eggs…" Portia said as we went from aisle to aisle and filled the cart. She was in charge of the food and cooking while I did all the other chores in the house. Along the way, Portia grabbed a packet called 'tampons'.
"What is that?"
"You don't want to know."
"Yes I do. I want to know where my money is going."
"Fine. See, when a girl reaches puberty at around the age of fourteen or fifteen, she experiences different things and-"
"Never mind, I got it." I held out a hand in protest and was sorry I ever asked.
About a half an hour later, we went to the front counter to pay for everything but found ourselves in the midst of a long line of people with filled carts. Oh, we were going to be here a while.
"We should use magic to get through." Portia whispered to me.
"Are you insane? We would get exposed." I shook my head.
"Whatever you say, Ministry official."
After the time we spent in the never ending line I was even tempted to pull out my wand. When it was down to us and a curly black-haired woman in front of us, I thought we would get out soon, but this wasn't the case. After all her items were checked out, she made a fuss over one of them, saying that it wasn't the same price on the label. When the worker said the price had expired, she demanded her money back. I saw Portia roll her eyes and tap the woman on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, could you hurry up? You're holding back the entire line."
Her hair bounced as the woman turned around to snap at Portia, "I am entitled to take up as much time as I want, thank you."
But then, her eyes slid to my face and widened, "Draco?"
"Hey." I said, trying to keep my voice as normal as I could. I was amazed at who I was standing in front of. Pansy was as a stunning and unique beauty as ever, with the longest hair, appearing as if it had never been cut.
Her attention traveled back to Portia, "Oh my…is this your daughter?"
I nodded, as Portia said, "Old friend, Draco?"
Pansy frowned, "Okay…"
"Hi. I'm Portia-Pansy Malfoy." Portia stuck out her hand and Pansy took it reluctantly. I felt like hitting Portia on the head for saying her whole name.
"This is Pansy Parkinson. We were in school together." I told Portia, and suddenly her eyes widened.
"You named me after her?" Portia said, absolutely stunned. Pansy stood there awaiting an answer also. I had a feeling that event the cashier was listening in.
"No, of course not. Your mother really liked the name and I liked Portia so we combined it as one." I lied, and I was pretty sure Portia knew it. Her mother was dead long before they could decide on any names and it was actually the other way around. Sonya had always liked the name Portia.
"I see." Pansy said suspiciously, with her arms folded, "So what have you been up to? I haven't seen you in a whole decade."
"I'm fine, you?" Even if she was older, she hadn't lost the glamour from her eyes and lips. There were a few wrinkles here and there, but as far as I saw it, they weren't there. My, she was so pale…almost as pale as a ghost…
"Oh, I'm grand."
"Excuse me." The cashier interrupted, and Pansy looked at her.
"Well then, I'll see you around." I said, not knowing what else to say.
"Nonsense, Draco," Portia intervened, "You should come to our house for dinner tomorrow, Pansy, and catch up with Draco, you know. What do you say?"
"Your house?" Pansy said, looking confused.
"Malfoy Mansion." I clued her in.
"Oh, I see. Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow."
I nodded in agreement and Pansy turned around to face the cashier.
"Draco." Portia said.
"What?"
"You're blushing beet red."
I took a deep breath, but it was just as unsteady as my heart. For the first time in years, my heart was feeling something special and pounding away like mad.