Fix Me

by: truthxinxshadow

A/N: bows Thank you, thank you. I am back, yes. I was gonna update my other story, but I was like, why not type this one? It's been written for a while so now it's time to present it to my adoring public! :)

Story: Fix Me

Genre: Romance/Angst

Rating: ... R... duh...

Summary: (I suck at these!) Ok, so... Draco likes Harry... Harry likes Draco... yeah. Harry's friends find out a "shocking" (not really) secret about him and break off their friendship. He can't take it anymore and breaks down. Can that "special someone" (cough Draco cough) fix him?

Warnings: THIS... IS... (wait for it...wait for it... NOW!) SLASH!!! That wonderful form of story that includes guy-guy romance. You now, gay? Don't like? Don't read. Ok? Ok. Also contains MENTIONS of cutting. No cutting present though. Just a reminder: this story is rated R! for a reason!! :P

Disclamer: I do not own any of this! If I did, I would have two VERY hot boys living in a cage in my basement... but alas, I don't even have a basement... :(

A/N 2: Most people have a second A/N so I didn't want to feel out the loop. Yes, the loop you nit-wit! I live for the loop. No... it's not peer pressure... it's a loop... anyway, don't forget to REVIEW MY PRETTIES!!! Wa ha ha!!! :P And this story starts after winter vacation in Harry's sixth year. :)

Fix Me

ll flashback ll

"Oh my fucking god Harry! That's SO disgusting!" came the cry of one Ronald Weasley.

"What? Wait, why the fuck do you have my journal? That's my private property!" yelled Harry. "And what the hell are you on about?"

"THIS!"

Ron shoved the journal into Harry's face. It was an entry he had written a long time ago.

Dear Journal,

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Ever since summer I've felt so... weird. I know why, but let's not get into that shall we? Anyway, it's so weird. I don't even want to write it down, but here it goes... I think I'm gay. There I said it, well, wrote it. I keep looking at guys and finding them hot. Maybe if I get a girlfriend it'll stop. Yeah... I'll just get a girlfriend.

-Harry

Ron turned the page to two days later.

Dear Journal,

Oh my fucking god! I told Seamus about my little "problem" and he... he fucking kissed me. That's right, I got kissed, by a guy. And..... I liked it. I fucking liked it. I didn't stop it. I didn't even think about it. Am I gay? Because I liked being kissed by a guy... at least, a real kiss. Anyway, someone's coming. I hope it's not Seamus. I'm so confused and just not in the mood to deal with him.

-Harry

Ron slammed the book shut.

"So," he started. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" asked Harry tiredly. He just wasn't in the mood for this crap.

"Are you gay?"

"And what fucking business is it of yours?" Harry yelled, standing up.

"Even if I am gay, it's MY FUCKING LIFE! Or have you forgotten that Weasly? I may be the fucking Boy-Who-Lived but I have a life too! And how I choose to live MY LIFE is nobody else's business!! Liking guys doesn't change who I am! And I DON'T CARE IF YOU FUCKING APPROVE! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"

Harry took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Ron looked suprised and kind of scared. He clearly hadn't expected Harry to explode at him.

"Look, Ron, if you were really my 'friend' then you'd be happy for me and want me to be happy. Obvisiously I've been living a lie for the past 15 years of my life and I'm sick of it. I don't care what you or anybody else thinks anymore. I'm tired of being their fucking hero. You'd better go find someone a little more perfect if you plan on living through this war."

And with that, Harry shoved past the crowds that had gathered at his outburst and left Gryffindor tower for the last time.

ll end flashback ll

That had been at least three months ago.

The story of what Harry had said had spread like wildfire through the Hogwarts grapevine and now most people regarded him with a mix of disgust, fear, and respect in some cases.

Harry had gone that very day and asked Dumbledore for his own rooms.

So he now lived by himself.

He didn't mind that much. It gave him MUCH more privacy than before. And that, he decided, was a good thing.

But, like with everything else, there can be too much of a good thing.

Being completely alone, he now felt isolated.

And that sucked.

And then there was the fact that he was "a tad" afraid of being alone.

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, not yet at least.

ll Harry's POV ll

I dragged myself out bed this morning in a very bad mood.

I have no clue why, my emotions have been pretty crazy lately, up one minute, dangerously low the next.

And bad things happen when I go dangerously low.

Anyway, now I'm walking as slow as humanly possible to the Great Hall with a muggle song stuck in my head.

By some band I had heard Dudley and his "friends" complaining about once so I decided to listen to them.

This song should be my theme song.

Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go- it's better off this way. For all the dirty looks, for photographs your boyfriend took. Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the scond floor? I'm not okay. I'm not, okay. I'm not okay, you wear me out. What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? (I'm not okay) I told you time and time again you sing the words (I'm not okay), but don't know what it means to be a joke and look another line without a hook. I held you close as we both shook. For the last time, take a good hard look. I'm not okay. I'm not, okay. I'm not okay, you wear me out. Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. You said you read me like a book, well the pages all are torn and frayed out. I'm okay, I'm o-kay. I' m okay now (I'm okay now). But you really didn't listen to me because I'm telling you the truth, I mean this I'm okay- trust me. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. Well, I'm not okay, I'm not o' fucking kay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay (okay). (1)

I don't even know who wrote the song but I like it.

It's not one of those songs that makes life out to be nothing but candy canes and rainbows and what-not.

'Cause that's the thing.

Bad things are happening every second of everyday to someone out there.

A lot of the time it feels like that someone is me.

Anyway, enough of my rambling thoughts.

So yeah, I walk into the Great Hall and naturally every head turns my way.

I hate being their fucking hero.

I glare at my one-time, back-stabbing, couldn't-shut-up-to-save-my-life best friend Ronald the Weasel and his I-know-everything-so-shut-up-and-listen-even-I-don't-really-know-what-I'm-talking-about-and-I-have-bushy-hair-and-buck-teeth girlfriend.

Wow, I am resentful.

They look scared.

Good.

I go and take my lonely place at the end of Gryffindor table.(2)

Oh, the trials of the rich and famous who just happen to be gay.

Woe is me.

Not.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't need them or their "approval."

Kiss my ass. (3)

Ginny comes and sits down next to me.

She's one of the few people that talk to me.

Joy.

"Hey Harry," she says.

Hay is for horses and finding needles in.

"Hey," I say back.

Neville comes and joins us.

"Hiya Harry!" he says.

Hiya isn't even a word.

"Hi."

We eat in silence.

Not that I expect them to want to talk to me, but human contact can be good.

Usually.

"I... have to get to class," I say as I stand up and leave.

"Harry..." I hear Ginny start but I ignore her.

I know she worries about me, but sometimes I just don't care.

Especially not today.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice the other person walking into the Great Hall into I run into them.

"Sorry," I mumble.

They extend their hand to help me up as I've fallen on my butt after my collision.

I take the hand and get pulled to my feet.

I am shocked to find the owner of the hand to be none other than the one and only Draco Malfoy.

ll Draco's POV ll

I hate my friends. Ok, so maybe hate is a tad strong, but they are mean to me, Draco Malfoy of all people!

They are once again teasing me for my little crush.

So.... ok, it's not a crush, per say...

As Pansy and Blaise so lightly term it, it's an obsession.

Everyone knows I'm gay and this summer I got "disowned" by my ever loving and father for not becoming some creepy-maniacs slave.

Ha, like I'm an object. He can't disown me.

I hate the bastard.

So anyway, it's not like I'm ashamed of my... er... interest in this...person.

This beautiful person with perfect black hair and beautiful green eyes.

(A/N: Like you didn't see that one coming)

So what, I'm in love with Harry Potter.

Big deal.

It's no longer "against the rules."

Plus, he's also gay, so I have a minor shot with him.

Ha ha ha ha.

That makes me happy.

Blaise and Pansy leave me to go to breakfast because they claim I'm too slow.

Good. Now they're gone.

I can go back to my fantasies about a certain green-eyed-god in the form of one Harry Potter.

I'm thinking about it so hard that I don't notice someone walking towards me until we walk into each other.

He falls over, so I reach down to help him up.

He takes my hand and it feels REALLY good.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

IT'S HARRY-I'M THE STAR OF ALL OF DRACO'S SEX FANTASIES BECAUSE HE CAN'T GET ANY IN REAL LIFE-POTTER!!!!!

And I'm holding his hand.

Today is a good day.

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A/N: NO MORE ONE-SHOT FOR THIS STORY!!! WOOT WOOT! It has suddenly- as I was writing it- become a chapter story. A short one, but still. It would have been like 20 pages long as a one-shot and it's drastically changing from what it was origanally. That's a good thing!! REVIEW SEXIES!! You know you are just itching to. I can feel it in my bones. 12 pages!!!! :) That's a lot 4 me! Clap 4 me!! I love ya all. REVIEW AND MAKE MY DAY!

(1)-I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by the awesome band My Chemical Romance

(2)- Srry about spelling, don't have my books, so srry if it's wrong.

(3)- I'M AN AMERICAN! 'Nuff said.

P.S. Now it's "winter" (Christmas for me) break so I'm gonna update a lot. I get easily bored. So look 4 updates. :)