A/N: Well, hello. I have risen from the dead, apparently. You can all blame Chiisana Minako for this, as she has been bugging me for years (literally, years) to write something new. I don't exactly know where this came from, except that 7x02 felt very unfinished to me as an episode, and I suddenly found myself wanting to write a tag or missing scene of some kind. Naturally, that turned into a 4.5k fic. There are probably a dozen other post-eps like this out there already, but I haven't had time to read any, so apologies if this is incredibly similar.
I'm considering this to be a missing scene, as in my opinion, the moment Jane finds out about Erica Flynn, that seemed like it was the next day. (I may be the only one who interpreted it that way, to be fair, but that way I get to happily ignore the whole Flynn business, as Jane doesn't know yet at this point.)
Many thanks to Laura, for the quick edit. And also for telling me I need to learn how to say "fuck it". #lessonsinlife. And to Chibi, who knows why.
Also, to the handful of people who sent me PMs these past few years wondering whether I'd stopped watching the show, I can hereby assure you that I never did. I am pretty much still as in love with these two as ever. And they're CANON now. Ahem.
Anyway, hope you enjoy! (This A/N is insanely long. Apologies. But hey, some things never change.)
Spoilers: Up to and including 7x02.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely related to The Mentalist. Lyrics stolen from Emeli Sandé.
-xxx-
See, the times are changing
I'm sure of nothing, that I know
Except this is us
And this is love
And this is where I'm home
-xxx-
1 hour, 47 minutes and - Jane checked his watch for about the tenth time in the last hour - 22 seconds.
23...
24...
25...
He sighed and rubbed his eyes, turning over onto his side to better keep an eye on the bullpen.
Not that it mattered.
He knew exactly where Lisbon was, and had been for the past hour, 47 minutes and 36 seconds. And it wasn't at her desk, right in front of him, where he could watch her and assure himself of the fact that she was alive and well. That she was safe.
And possibly slightly irritated and in need of some coffee at this point.
Instead, she'd been holed up in some godforsaken conference room, being debriefed, giving him no opportunity at all to hover.
He released another sigh, swinging his legs around into a sitting position. He hadn't slept in two days. Lying on his couch at night, not in the mood to go back to his Airstream, he'd done little more than close his eyes, trying not to imagine any worst-case scenarios. His body always managed to rest, but his mind, as usual, had refused to shut down.
He leaned his head against the backrest, closed his eyes.
The sound of her footsteps approaching reached him long before she came to a stop right in front of him.
"I can see after the trials of the day, you've gone back to making yourself useful on your couch."
Her voice was laced with amusement, and even through closed lids he could easily imagine the smirk that was bound to be on her lips.
"I expected a little more gratitude, Lisbon. After all, you could argue that I saved your life today. You should be thinking about how to repay me for rendered services."
He opened his eyes in time to see her eyebrows lift, smirk present as predicted.
"Oh, really?"
"Well, I figured some quid pro quo would be nice."
He got up off his couch, making a show of yawning and stretching while surreptitiously taking a good look at her. Their back-and-forth teasing, fun as it was, was almost definitely masking emotions that ran a lot deeper.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, his tone of voice softer, instantly more intimate.
She let out a choked sound; something in between a laugh and an exhale.
"Like I could sleep for 12 hours." She ran a hand through her hair, which felt like it hadn't been washed in days, and watched him closely in return.
She imagined he was probably feeling largely the same as she was.
"Like I'm ready to get out of here," she corrected. "I'll just get my things, and we can head out."
She went to turn around and walk away, but he caught her hand in his and gently tugged her back, before wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened slightly, so he moved his lips closer to her ear.
"No one's here, the floor's practically empty. I checked."
He'd wanted to pull her into a hug (and possibly never let go) the second they'd both been safe, but he'd held back at the last minute, very conscious of their colleagues surrounding them. He knew Lisbon would prefer it that way.
Jane pulled back briefly and moved his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb leaving a feather-light caress. He eagerly welcomed the moment she relaxed, her body seemingly melting into his with great ease as she offered him a soft, affectionate smile.
The desire to close the distance between them completely and kiss her was suddenly overpowering.
Attuned as she was to him - like no one else could be - she sensed the shift in his mood, his struggle for control, and moved her own hand up to circle his wrist.
"Let's go home," she whispered.
-xxx-
After deciding to leave the office separately, Lisbon went home for a much longed-for shower. Having agreed that Jane would follow about an hour later, she was not at all surprised when the knock on her door came about 20 minutes early.
Putting the bottle of wine she'd been about to open back on the counter, she walked to the door and grinned as she pulled it open.
"You know, that key I gave you can actually be used to let yourself in," she teased.
It took only a fraction of a second for her smile to fade as she registered the look on Jane's face.
He'd clearly been trying to keep up a front back at the office, because all traces of their earlier banter and easy conversation were gone.
"Jane..." A look of concern crossed her face as she drew him inside, sympathetic eyes scanning his.
As soon as the door closed behind him, he wasted no time in gathering her up and closing his arms around her waist. Her hair was still slightly damp from her shower, and he buried his nose deeper, inhaling the scent of her.
He dropped the bag he was holding gently to the floor, not quite ready to release her yet.
If he ever would be.
Lisbon was the one to pull back this time and, wanting desperately to kiss the look of anguish away, she stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, slipping her arms around his neck to draw him closer.
Closer still.
She tasted like her usual combination of coffee and traces of chocolate, Jane mused. A wonderfully sweet flavour that he had come to associate solely with her, and that was quickly becoming something of an addiction.
Her hands slid down and fisted in his shirt when his tongue slowly traced her bottom lip; a silent demand for access which she readily granted.
Lisbon couldn't resist a shiver from running down her back when Jane's hands buried themselves in her hair, and she allowed herself to get lost in the feeling of him warm and solid against her. Her arms circled his waist, fingers searching for bare skin under his shirt.
Jane had learned early on that Lisbon loved to kiss. She put her entire body into it, expertly turning it into a downright intoxicating experience that had exceeded his every expectation.
(And he wasn't too proud to admit that he'd wondered what it would be like on a couple of occasions.)
He broke off reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers before slowly opening his eyes.
"Hi," he said simply, and was rewarded with a timid smile.
"Hi, yourself."
He took a small step back, suddenly a touch self-conscious as he ran a hand through his hair and tried to get his breathing back to a somewhat acceptable level.
Lisbon exhaled a little shakily, before registering the plastic bag at her feet from which delicious smells seemed to be escaping. She turned to Jane with a questioning look.
"Oh, that. Right. I - uh, I brought you a salad. Well, among other things, but you mentioned a particular craving earlier for salad so I figured that would be a safe bet."
"It's perfect," she smiled, squeezing his hand. He really could be adorably thoughtful and sweet sometimes, she thought. "Thank you."
They moved into the kitchen, where Lisbon began unwrapping various dishes and putting them on the table. Jane took off his jacket and was rolling up his shirtsleeves, as she cast a furtive glance in his direction.
"You didn't bring a change of clothes?" She asked casually, taking care to keep her tone of voice neutral.
He'd spent the night at her place a couple of times so far, which made the absence of his overnight bag a little surprising. Especially now, because if there was one night she didn't want him far from her side, craved his company and the warmth of his very presence - it was tonight.
Jane took the bottle of wine off the counter and set out to pour two glasses.
"I didn't want to...presume anything," he said, settling for honesty. "We didn't - we hadn't discussed it before leaving the office, so I...didn't want to simply assume."
Truth be told, he hadn't even thought about the spare key in his pocket when he'd showed up either.
This... relationship between them was still so new, it hadn't yet fully sunk in that he enjoyed certain privileges now. That he was allowed to hold her, and kiss her; let alone enter her house at will without announcing himself first.
And he'd been a little preoccupied in rushing over to her house. Tired of pacing around his Airstream just counting down the minutes until he could crush her to him, and give himself some peace of mind.
Lisbon looked up from spooning food onto plates and saw that Jane was still fiddling with the bottle opener. Or pretending to be. She'd come to realise these past few weeks that Jane could be endearingly - and perhaps unexpectedly - insecure.
She had become so used to being around him through the years, was so accustomed to how it felt when someone practically seemed to know what you were thinking, that the few occasions where he didn't continued to surprise her.
He was probably convinced he was out of practice, so she didn't feel the need to point out that she had no clue what she was doing either.
These feelings on her part were entirely unprecedented. Lisbon had always been an expert at having previous involvements play out on her own terms; usually choosing to break things off before becoming too emotionally entangled. Commitment had never been her strong suit.
The difference was that this time, her instincts weren't telling her to run for the hills. And she wasn't quite sure how to handle that, exactly.
All the same, they had agreed to simply follow what felt right, and she could only admit to herself that all of this felt right.
They felt right.
The fact that he was just a bit insecure about it all seemed to boost her own confidence, though. After all, there was something oddly reassuring about having the confident Patrick Jane act shy and slightly hesitant around her.
She waited until he looked up to meet her eyes, and gave him a warm smile.
"Okay," she said with a short nod, "but just for future reference, feel free to...always assume."
He beamed at her fondly, his dazzling smile sending a flutter through her stomach as her words settled between them like a promise unspoken.
"Duly noted." He was delighted to see a faint blush appear on Lisbon's cheeks.
"Alright then," she hid a smile and bit her lip self-consciously before pulling out a chair.
He paused, seemingly debating something before he sat down on the opposite side of the table and offered her a glass.
"I could still stay over and head out early tomorrow morning. Wouldn't take me that long to get changed before work," he commented eventually.
"Good. Sounds like a plan." She took a small sip of wine before pointing to the assortment of food set out before them. "Dig in."
They ate in comfortable silence for a while, Lisbon enjoying her salad and the simple comfort of real food and good company. As far as prison life went, she wouldn't miss anything about it.
She noticed that Jane finally appeared relaxed, too. At least more so than he had been ever since they'd said goodbye in the car the previous day.
She hated to break the quiet, but she knew that they'd have to talk about what happened at some point, whether they wanted to or not.
The past two days had been hard on both of them, she knew, and she could only imagine how Jane was handling all of this. She'd been in life-threatening situations before, of course, but things were different now.
They were different.
"So, you picked up on my clues, huh?"
He looked up with a mock-offended look on his face, and she took the opportunity to sneak a few fries off his plate.
"Of course I did. We've been a team for 10 years, Lisbon. We're partners." His slight emphasis on that last word made her smile. "I was looking for signs from you the minute we stepped into that store."
Jane didn't mention that there'd been a split second when panic had rushed through him with a dizzying speed.
The sight of that lifeless body in a pool of blood, combined with the realisation that Lisbon was with the man responsible for it because his plan had backfired, had felt like a punch to the stomach.
He had deliberately pushed several unwelcome images to the back of his mind, though, knowing that she was most likely still doing her job of keeping her cover, and that she was trained to deal with this.
Panicking would not have helped either of them.
But he'd been absolutely terrified. Frantic, even.
He knew that in their line of work, it could go very wrong, very fast. Especially in Lisbon's case. Because while Jane usually stayed well outside the line of fire, she was the one running towards it.
He hadn't expected their relationship to be smooth sailing exactly - that would take some time. He'd just never thought they'd have to deal with a situation like this quite so soon either. And not being able to show the extent of his concern - and above all, his incredible relief when she was safe - was harder than he'd thought it would be.
He didn't care to revisit the image of her being held at gunpoint, or the near-crippling combination of fear and guilt that had washed over him.
She stole another fry off his plate, and he suddenly decided that before their discussion of the day's events went any further, there was something else he'd been meaning to ask her.
Another matter he wanted settled.
"Teresa," he said softly, effortlessly switching to her given name, "I- I know we agreed to take things slow, and keep this relationship between us for the time being, and I respect that, that's fine. But...I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me? Sometime this week, maybe."
"Jane, we have dinner together all the time." She gestured to the remnants of the food, stating the obvious.
"No, that's not what I meant. I'd really like to take you out to dinner; as in, tomorrow night, I stop by your place, pick you up, we exchange pleasantries about how nice we both look and then continue to fill the silence in the car with small talk. I've been told that includes subjects such as the weather, or other, similarly irrelevant things. We'd then arrive at a fancy restaurant, where we'd proceed to enjoy a nice meal together. I believe it's a fairly common, social occurrence, that people generally refer to as a date."
"You know, I think I've heard of it," she mused.
He took her hand in his. "Not that this, tonight, isn't perfect," he quickly assured her. "And admittedly, your collection of take-out menus is impressive, to say the least. But I want to take you some place nice, do this properly."
She looked down, worrying her lip between her teeth and playing with his fingers.
"You want to go on a date?" she repeated.
"That is basically the message I've been trying to get across, yes," he teased. "When we were down in Florida, my plans sort of...uhh, let's just say I handled that rather poorly."
He chose to ignore the un-ladylike snort of laughter that followed that statement.
"Safe to say, it did not go as expected. And I'd like to take you out. I know you want to keep our - this...us, to ourselves for a little while longer, and you know that's fine with me. But what are the odds we'd run into someone from the FBI at the restaurant we end up choosing?"
She glanced up, and saw a look that was equal parts hopefulness and uncertainty being reflected back at her. It made Lisbon feel warm all over; a glowing feeling that continued to spread and seemed to be the perfect remedy for the horrible day she'd just lived through.
"I guess, even on the off chance that someone from work did see us, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." She looked up and gave him a disarming smile.
"Well, I was hoping for just a tad more enthusiasm, but I suppose it'll have to do." He rolled his eyes dramatically, his wounded act causing her to laugh.
"Jane," she squeezed his hand, "I'd love to go out to dinner with you."
"Hmmm," he stood up and pulled her to her feet, slipping an arm around her waist in one smooth motion. "Much better."
Twisting a lock of her hair around his fingers, he smiled down at her. "Who knows," he added, "I might even decide to dress up and wear a vest."
Lisbon groaned and hid her face against his chest. "Don't make me regret sharing that."
"Don't be embarrassed, dear. It was a most interesting piece of information, and it's been safely stored in the memory palace."
He lifted her chin, his lips seeking hers again. He wondered idly if she'd object to him wanting to just keep on holding her, and kissing her, for an indefinite amount of time. The overpowering need to didn't seem to be dying down quite yet.
He moved his mouth to her jaw line, dropping little kisses along the length of it before nuzzling her neck.
Lisbon kept her eyes closed, delighting in this sense of unadulterated happiness that seemed to be her constant companion these past few weeks.
There were times when it still felt a little surreal, and terrifying at the same time. Moments when she caught Jane looking at her with a smile of wonder and no small amount of disbelief; as if he still couldn't quite conceive that she was still here, that she'd stayed.
For him.
He was a man of grand gestures, always putting on some elaborate show and the more people
that were there to see it, the better. She wasn't yet used to this side of him - to him acting in a subdued, far more intimate way.
It was almost more than she could take.
But she was glad to simply have him there. To have someone to lean on, someone who knew what she'd endured, and who - as it happened - had been right there along with her.
"Thank you for figuring it out and coming after me," she whispered into this chest.
"Even though it almost got both of us killed?" He let out a humourless chuckle, trying to laugh it off.
But Lisbon wasn't fooled. She could easily pick up the serious note in his voice, so she pulled back and wasn't surprised to see a grave look in his eyes. Accompanied by something far worse, a touch of guilt.
He couldn't possibly feel guilty about this, she thought.
"Jane, what happened wasn't your fault."
"The break-out plan was my idea, Lisbon. Abbott was ready to pull you out. I suggested we keep the operation going, keep your cover, but to break you out instead. That was my plan."
"Don't be ridiculous," she chastised gently. "You couldn't have known the situation would escalate that quickly. You need to accept that there are a lot of variables in play in undercover ops, and there are bound to be a few out of our control."
"I know that."
"Good. That means you also know that it could've just as easily gone the other way. If they hadn't switched cars, the plan could've worked without a hitch and Cho and Abbott would've been right there when Cole showed up."
"If it had gone according to plan, it would have saved you from having to witness that cashier being shot in cold blood," he said tentatively.
Because he suspected she'd been far more distressed about that, than about nearly being shot herself.
"I- I didn't really see-," she broke off, took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her torso. "I never expected it to blow up so quickly. I wasn't even really paying much attention to their conversation, I just...," she trailed off.
She'd been focussed on sending for help, Jane thought. On getting word to them somehow of where she was, and where they were headed. And in the end, it might have been what had saved her life.
"I figured if I could slip the guy a note, telling him I was with the FBI and that he needed to call 911, that-" she paused. "I don't even know what the argument was about. One second both of them had been laughing, and the next..." she shook her head mournfully, rubbing her arms with a far-off look in her eyes. "You should've seen Marie's face. She acted like what Cole had just done was the most hilarious thing in the world."
Jane pulled her into his arms again, drawing circles down her back in a soothing motion.
"You know that wasn't your fault," he stated.
"I do know that." She shot him a rueful smile. "That doesn't really make it any easier, though. But like I said, there are bound to be things that we can't predict or control."
She'd hadn't exactly been expecting Jane to show up by himself, for instance. Lisbon had been subjected to a whole wave of emotions, too many to name, when he'd suddenly been standing there. One second she was staring down the barrel of a gun, and the next he'd just been there, his voice and demeanour betraying nothing but confidence as he'd tried to defuse the situation.
She didn't particularly want to relive the moment when she'd realised that he wouldn't pull off the con, that Cole would see through it.
But to have him blaming himself for any of that was preposterous.
"I guess I just don't like things being out of control where your safety is concerned." He trailed his hand from her shoulder down to her waist and back again. "I know you can take care of yourself. In fact, you take care of the both of us where dangerous situations are concerned. I usually just rely on my wits. So when that doesn't work out...it just- it scares me. I was scared today."
And just like that, her heart softened. Because that was the simple truth, she thought.
They'd both been terrified, though probably more for the other than for themselves. She reached up and put a hand on his cheek, thinking that she could get used to this version of Jane, who seemed to be making an effort to be more open with her, whether consciously or not.
Feelings, too many of them, were threatening to overwhelm her.
She wasn't the best at expressing her emotions. She was, however, reasonably confident that she'd been successful so far in showing Jane exactly how she felt about him. So when she pulled his lips down to hers once more, her hands framing his face, she didn't hold back.
"I'm okay, Jane. I'm okay," she murmured when they came up for air.
"And I missed you."
"I missed you, too." He lifted her hand, kissed her palm. Let out a rather shaky breath as he glanced around her kitchen. "You want to go take a walk around the neighbourhood? It's a beautiful night, we should make the most of it. We can clean all this up afterwards."
The lazy September evening seemed too good not to be enjoyed. There was no clear sign of autumn approaching yet here in Austin, and they could both use some fresh air and the simple warmth of each other's company.
Getting through days like these was a process, Jane knew. He was just glad that Lisbon didn't have to go through the aftermath alone anymore.
"Sure, let me just get my sweater."
He was waiting by the time she emerged from the bedroom, draping a cardigan over her shoulders.
"What?" he asked, upon noticing her lips curling into his favourite, somewhat shy smile.
"Nothing." She said casually, before walking through the door he was holding for her. "I was just thinking that...it's really great to have you around all the time."
He shut the door behind them and reached for her hand, offering up a loving smile as he laced his fingers through hers.
"Well, let's hope you'll still feel that way in a few years' time, because I don't plan on going anywhere," he said softly.
After all, Jane thought as they walked down her garden path and onto the sidewalk, she'd been there in his darkest hour. And somehow, inexplicably, this wonderful woman loved him. Warts and all. God only knew why; he was still convinced he didn't deserve to have her return his feelings. But he would've been a fool indeed to have let a second chance like her slip through his fingers.
He knew she still had her doubts about whether he would stick around this time, and he didn't blame her. He would just have to prove that he was in this for the long run.
"Unless I decide to kick you out, of course," Lisbon replied after a beat, pretending to seriously ponder the issue.
"Oh, as if you would kick me out."
"I would!" she insisted. "Which means you'd better be on your best behaviour at all times."
"Uuhh, I hate to break it to you, but I am now in possession of a key. I'm sorry to inform you that you're not getting rid of me anytime soon."
"Please," she huffed. "I'd change those locks faster than you could pick them."
This, she thought, enjoying herself immensely. This was what they had both needed after a day like today.
And as Jane was already starting to protest, listing the numerous ways he'd manage to get into her house if he set his mind to it, Lisbon couldn't prevent a smile from taking over as she glanced down at their clasped hands and at the road ahead.
-xxx-