Homer the Genius
Author: Luke Nutley
It was a sweltering Sunday afternoon in the tiny town of Springfield. Birds wee chirping, bees were buzzing, and Homer was in the garage trying to build a table. "Son of a bitch!" homer cried. Homer danced around the garage on one foot while holding the other. He had dropped his hammer on it. Marge appeared at the door. "Hrrrrmm Homer I don't like you using that language when the kids are here, don't you want to be a good influence?" Homer says "Why should I hide the person I am? When I hurt myself, I like to swear." Marge left the room with no intention of arguing with this monstrosity of a human being.
"Say Milhouse, how would you like to break into the school and steal some megaphone?" Bart asks Milhouse. They were playing in Milhouse' sandpit, and getting rather sick of building forts for their toy soldiers. "Err I dun no Bart, sounds like something you would see in a movie. Like when those kids broke into the haunted house, and they walked into the bathroom, and the doors disappeared and were like AH AH AH and noone outside knew what was happening!?!' After little persuasion by Bart, he and Milhouse get on their bikes and headed off to Springfield Elementary. When they got to the school, they tiptoed around to the back door and picked the lock and swiftly walked inside. They walked around and found themselves inside the Principal Skinners office. They looked around, and noticed a box on his desk. As they went through the box, they found a letter from Bart's teacher Mrs. Krabappel. It said:
Dear Seymour
Last night was exceptional. I've never seen such a huge Mr. Winky. Too bad your mother came home, I was hoping to explore a little further he he yummy.
Edna
Bart and Milhouse roared with laughter. Bart pocketed the note, and kept searching. Finally, they came across a megaphone on Skinners shelf. They picked it up, and bailed out of the school building. They walked to Moe's Tavern. They walked in and yelled through the megaphone "Gimme a beer you stupid old moron!" Moe jumped with fright, but before he could look to see the culprit, they had already left. They then walked to the Kwiki Mart, where Apu was washing wieners in a bucket of water. Bart yelled "Apu loves wiener!" and quickly ran away. They then went to Bart's house, where Homer was still in the garage trying to build a table, that now looked like a log with nails hanging out at all directions. Bart yelled through the microphone "Homer cant build a table from peanuts!" Homer yelled "Peanuts! Where! Where!?!?!" He then saw Bart and Milhouse laughing hysterically, and started choking them. "If you ever do that again I will rip your faces off and shit all over them!" Marge ran out. "Stop it Homer your killing them!" They all sat on the floor, panting. Homer took the megaphone from Bart, and all of a sudden had an idea. "Maybe if I stuck the megaphone to this lump of wood, I could set it up in the backyard and use it when we have wrestling comps. I'll setup a chair right next to it and I can be the commentator.
For weeks on end, Milhouse would go over to Bart's house and they would wrestle in the backyard with Homer commenting. So it seems doing the wrong thing can bring good. Who knows.