Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda or any of the characters from the game or animated series. It owns me.
Prince Façade was a character on an episode of the cartoon, which was on in the 80s with the Super Mario Brothers Super Show.
From the moment he received the invitation, Link knew that attending this party would be a bad idea. He just got that gut feeling that he should stay home. And yet now here he was- in the corner by himself, holding a beer while Zelda and Prince Façade flirted on the dance floor.
His grip tightened around the already squished cup. "I hate that guy," he thought. "He just prances into Hyrule like he owns the place. He thinks he's the prince of the world just because he can play the Ocarina and has a big sword. Heh, well, maybe the size of that sword is compensating for something else."
Link looked at his brown and green common-person clothes and his elf hat, thinking that he looked rather shabby in comparison. In reality, he looked incredibly hot, but he didn't realize that and Zelda didn't, either. Zelda seemed to look through him all the time, anyway, just ordering him around and acting snappy and moody whenever they were together. And he was always rescuing her from Gannon! She could show a little appreciation, at the very least.
From across the floor, Zelda caught Link's eye but didn't say anything. Actually, she pretended not to see him. Façade was all over her now, and she appeared to be enjoying every minute of it. Her hair fell in waves around her shoulders as she giggled at whatever the prince was saying. Probably a bad joke or some made up story of an adventure that never really took place.
True, Zelda was a princess, and Link was just hired help around the farm, but he loved her nevertheless; he just couldn't help it. The prince had arrived yesterday out of the blue and rescued Zelda from an octorock-a task Link himself had been in the middle of undertaking when Facade so infuriatingly interrupted-and had given the Princess a ride home on his horse that "only had room for two. You understand I'm sure, Link."
Understood? Sure he did! Like hell he understood! To make matters worse, Façade had snatched the rupee that had come from the octorock just as Link was reaching for it. "Sorry old chap," he smirked. "But this is mine, isn't it? I killed the thing, right?"
"I'm sure you'll be able to find a ride, right, Link?" Zelda asked, pretending to be less concerned than she really was.
"Oh yeah, sure," said Link. "I'll just get a ride back with another Octorock." Facade either ignored his sarcasm or was too dumb to get it.
Zelda only laughed as they galloped off into the sunset, leaving Link lying on the ground like an idiot, probably bleeding internally from the battle.
"Yeah, I'll uh…meet you back at the castle!" he called to Zelda, trying to sound cool and tough. Of course, anybody could see right through his lame act. It wasn't Link that was the problem, though. It was HIM!
And how could Zelda allow herself to fall so easily for this clown, anyway? Didn't she even know what "façade" meant?
Link leaned back against the wall, staring into the drink. He wondered why Gannon would have a party in the first place; much less invite the three of them. He hated Link's guts, and as for Zelda…well, he was always trying to kidnap her or take the Triforce. Something was suspicious about this. And Link was growing more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Something's fishy about this party," Prince Façade observed, raising an eyebrow. His blue eyes glittered. "Perhaps we should go somewhere and…be alone."
"But how can we be alone if we're together?" asked Zelda.
"You know what I mean," the Prince retorted with a roll of his eyes.
"Well…okay, but maybe we should tell Link where we're going, hmm?" she said.
"No!" Façade snapped, a little too quickly. Zelda felt of wave of guilt sweep over her. After all, she hadn't danced with Link even once the entire night. But she brushed the thought aside. Oh well. He would survive.
She's only interested in him because he's the new guy, Link tried to reassure himself. She'll get over it after awhile. Even though he and Zelda had hooked up on occasion, she had never looked at him in the way she was now gazing at the Prince. Her eyes were large and full of admiration. Maybe even love.
"You should give up on that chick," a high-pitched, squeaky little voice said in his ear. Link whirled around to face the tiny fairy that was fluttering beside him.
"Sprite!" he scowled. "Quit spying on me!" To show her he meant business, he whipped out the fly swatter he always carried.
Sprite darted away from him. "Oh gosh," she said. "You must be in one of your crabby moods today."
"Today?" laughed a woman's voice behind them. It was Zelda. Façade was at her side, smirking. I hate that guy, thought Link.
Link was so frustrated! He hated being embarrassed, especially by Zelda or in front of Zelda or with anything at all having to do with Zelda!
"Feeling all right, Link?" the Prince asked, purposefully patronizing him.
"I was until you got here," Link shot back.
Prince Façade sighed as if he was clearly the more mature person and Link simply had some social disease that was better left unacknowledged.
"This party is lame, so we're gonna bounce," Zelda told link.
"Fine," said Link.
"I sure hope you aren't too hurt after that octorock kicked the crap out of you yesterday," he finally said.
"Hey!" said Link. "Do I look hurt? I wasn't hurt!"
Except that he'd drunk three bottles of life potion afterwards.
"Oh Link," said Zelda, shaking her head. "I'll see you back at the castle later."
Neither he nor Zelda felt Gannon's eyeballs watching them. Link's sense of dread was growing, and he wanted to leave as well. "How about I just go with you guys," he suggested, knowing it would screw up the Prince's plans and annoy him. Façade and Zelda exchanged a nervous glance.
"Okay," said Zelda. "I've got a feeling something isn't right about this party, anyways."
"What isn't right about it is that he's here," Link accused, pointing at Prince Façade.
"Link! You're really being a jerk, you know that?" said Zelda.
"I'm sure that's not unusual for him," the prince said condescendingly. "It's all right. We can all go."
As they walked out the door, Gannon continued watching them.
"Just wait," he cackled. "My latest evil plan to mess up your lives is yet to be revealed…"