Summary: No spoilers. Watanuki's not been sleeping very well, when Yuuko becomes concerned, she sends Doumeki to save the day. (Because he's like… SuperDoumeki). ONESHOT

Insomniac

The porcelain bowl didn't stand a chance.
"Ah!" Yuuko said, raising her fingers to cheek in a way that said she really didn't care. "It's coming out of your pay Watanuki."
"Yes, yes." Watanuki, who had seemingly been startled at least a little by the shattering noise, began to pick up the pieces.
"I think…" Mokona said cautiously, trying to help by staying out of the way. "Watanuki is sleepy."
"Watanuki is tired!" Cooed Moro.
"Watanuki needs a nap!" Mimicked Maru.
"Is this true Watanuki?" Demanded Yuuko, her hands on her hips.
"I'm fine." Promised the teenage boy, sucking his finger as he had just cut himself, apparently not awake enough to remember to wear gloves when clearing the area of sharp objects.
"Watanuki!" She scolded, bending down and taking him by the chin. Two dark circles under his eyes told her he was not fine at all. "When did you last sleep?" She asked. Watanuki mumbled something incoherent. "What?"
"Thursday night." He said, pulling away from Yuuko's vice grip.
"Goodness! But tonight is Monday night!" She genuinely did sound worried now. She hadn't seen him all weekend so had not been able to assess him.
"I've just had a lot to think about."
"Go home." She said calmly. "You are not to step foot in this shop until you've had at least one solid night's rest! Of course, every day you are absent marks a day extra added to your work." She ushered Watanuki, still in his slippers, out of her front door hurriedly.

Those who are familiar with sleep deprivation know it's a vicious cycle. You become so tired you cannot sleep, and reach a state of manic-you. By Wednesday, Watanuki had reached that state. The state that usually comes before complete and total exhaustion. Watanuki, had he been sane, would have longed for that stage.
"He's weirder than usual." Grunted Doumeki, watching Watanuki fall about laughing as he realised he'd packed an extra lunch.
"Watanuki-kun." Himawari said worriedly. "Is Yuuko-san overworking you?"
"No! Not at all Himawari-chan! I'm on… well we'll call it a vacation!" He snapped his fingers. "Yes, a vacation except… I've not gone anywhere." Watanuki mused. "Is it still vacation if you stay home?"
"Oi, bento." Doumeki ordered.
"Here." Watanuki thrust the extra lunch into Doumeki's outstretched hands.
"What no insults… no threats?" He asked, looking a little put out. Himawari giggled.
"Now you WANT me to insult you, you really are weird Doumeki did you know that? Well I suppose you do know, but you're weird in a slightly cool way," Watanuki paused for breath. "A VERY SLIGHTLY cool way." He then patted Doumeki on the head, much like one would do an immediately obedient dog.
"Wa…Watanuki-kun are you SURE you're okay?" Himawari asked. A piercing 'RING' shook the table, Doumeki blinked.
"Watanuki… your pants are ringing." He said bluntly. After a moment, Doumeki leaned forward and took the cell phone from his pocket, while Watanuki continued to have a VERY loud, one-sided conversation with his pants, ignoring the fact Doumeki's hand had just been in an intimate pocket. "Yuuko? Yeah… Hn. I noticed." Himawari watched curiously as the boys had conversations with themselves until Doumeki hung up the phone.

"You." He barked. "Bed." He swept everything into his bag. "Now."
"YOU JUST ASSUME THAT I'LL SLEEP WITH YOU, GOD YOU EGOTISTICAL MANIAC!" Watanuki ranted, Himawari giggled, Doumeki sighed.
"Not like that," He mumbled, and picked Watanuki up, slinging him over his shoulder, like a caveman would do a particularly hot cavewoman, with this thought Watanuki chuckled, he could definitely imagine Doumeki saying 'Your cave or mine' instead he said "Bye," and gave a slight nod at Himawari who waved.
"Bye Doumeki-kun, Bye Watanuki-kun! Get well soon!" She chirped.
"AND WHY THE HELL AM I STARING AT YOUR ASS?!" Demanded Watanuki, who from his upside down vantage point on Doumeki's shoulder had a particular nice view of Doumeki's butt, before bursting into another fit of uncontrollable laughter at the word 'ass'. If he'd been even semi-sane at the point, Watanuki may have realised Doumeki was leading the way to the temple. His cave.

"Sit." He ordered, leaning forward and allowing Watanuki to tumble off him onto a futon in one of the spare rooms.
"Don't tell me what to do Doumeki." He paused. "Doumeki sounds like Domyoji, from one of Yuuko's mangas… he was a jerk too!" (cough, Hana Yori Dango) "And an idiot."
"Yes yes," Doumeki said exasperatedly, running his fingers through his hair, wondering what to do with the sleep deprived teen. "I'm a jerk, and an idiot." Watanuki looked shocked, so amazed he was agreeing he didn't notice the offhand tone in his voice that clearly objected to being called names.
"Uh… glad we agree on something." He said eventually, for lack of a witty comeback.
"Stay," Doumeki instructed and he left the room.
"I'm not a dog! Sit Watanuki, Stay Watanuki." Watanuki grumbled. "Who does he think I am? Why am I even here? I should be studying." He stood up
"Don't even think about it." Came Doumeki's voice from in the kitchen. Watanuki blinked and looked around hurriedly, how on earth had he done that.
"Freaky." Whispered Watanuki, sitting back down dazedly.

A few moments later, Doumeki came through with two mugs.
"Here, drink." He ordered.
"Stop bossing me around you… you… Doumeki you!" Snapped Watanuki, taking the mug Doumeki offered him. A pale yellow liquid inside was steaming slightly.
"Nice insult." Muttered Doumeki, clinking their glasses together and sipping his own.
"What is it?" Watanuki said sniffing it suspiciously. In his advanced state of delirium, he wouldn't have put it past the archer to poison him or drug him or… Oh god! Date Rape! "DOUMEKI YOU BASTARD!" He squawked, pointing his finger at the archer accusingly.
"Yes yes, I'm a bastard; just drink." Doumeki said, tipping the cup into Watanuki's mouth. Watanuki sighed and swallowed.
"...Hate you." Watanuki mumbled when he'd finished the sip. "What is it?"
"Warm milk and honey, with a teaspoon of syrup." Doumeki said. "Almost guaranteed to make you sleep." He tipped the cup upwards again and this time Watanuki complied without a fuss.
"How'd you know I've not been sleeping?"
"The talking pants told me." He said, in his 'I'm-Doumeki-I'm-always-serious' tone. Watanuki nodded.
"Oh right… wait… are you making fun of me?" Doumeki had actually been testing him, his response was rather lazy unlike one would expect from a manic person, meaning he was calming a little.

"You're getting tired right? Your reactions are getting slower, you know you'll make yourself sick if you stay up constantly." He watched Watanuki curiously over the top of his cup, the boy was clearly beyond sleep deprivation and it worried Doumeki an awful lot, not that he'd admit that.
"Yes, because I'm doing it on purpose." He muttered sarcastically, sipping at his drink completely voluntarily.
"Yuuko said you'd been up all night every night crying…" Watanuki gave an exhausted half-flap to try dismiss it, then did a double take.
"How did…"
"She said 'don't ask, you won't like the answer'." It somewhat disturbed Watanuki to know the dimensional witch knew his every move, including when he was crying alone in his apartment. He rather sanely concluded.
"YUUKO IS THE EVIL STALKER LADY OF DOOM…" He declared loudly, but sleepily.

Watanuki vaguely wondered if Doumeki had drugged his drink, every part of his body felt as heavy as lead, and his head seemed fuzzier than usual. He reached for his glasses, to check they were still on, no sooner had the cool rim touched his fingertips Doumeki leaned just that little bit too close.
"D…Doumeki." Watanuki blushed, his breath catching in his chest. His heart was racing a mile a minute. Was this...
"Take them off." Before he could process this unusual order, Watanuki's glasses were removed by Doumeki.
"Ah… uh I kind of…" He yawned. "Need those." Doumeki nodded, and placed them on the side. He knew by the mannerisms that Watanuki was going to fall asleep soon, and he didn't want to risk leaving the glasses on just in case they shattered, a guy could lose an eye that way. (A/n: uh... CLAMP told me to write that line, or they'd sue my butt)
"Must be something important." He said, lowering his voice a little as Watanuki tried in vain to focus his vision. "To keep you so worried."
"It is…" Watanuki sighed. Doumeki just watched as the smaller boy began to loll. Instead of falling onto the futon, Watanuki lay his head on Doumeki's shoulder, which could later be blamed on lack of rational thinking due to insomnia.
"What was it?" Doumeki asked, surprisingly gentle in his tone of voice. He knew if it had been spirit, he'd have helped, or magic Yuuko would have helped. Watanuki yawned, and nuzzled his head very gently against the warm shoulder he was making his pillow, his black hair brushed Doumeki's face softly and he buried his face into the crook of Doumeki's neck, his breath tickling his chest gently.
"I was trying to figure something out, but it's okay… I know now." He whispered.
"What… what was it?" Doumeki asked, trying (and failing) not to be flustered by Watanuki being so close and so open with him. This was not something that happened every day.

Watanuki then mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like
"My sexuality." Before falling asleep, on Doumeki's shoulder.

A/n: Hehe. I just thought… I don't even know what I thought. FLUFFY DONUTS FOR ALL. Ew fluffy donuts would taste totally weird right?